Travels in the South

Oh sweet friends – welcome back to another edition of Travels in the South.  Today we bring you some entertainment.  While Fozziemom and Fozziedad were visiting, all decided to go to Tybee Island, Georgia.  Once there, they were hungry and thirsty so went across the street to one of mom/dad’s favorite restaurants called Bernies.

Last week, on this post here – I showed you some of the food that they had at the restaurant – strips of bread and beer cheese and buffalo shrimp.  Who could ask for anything more?  Well these four would ask for something more – snorts with piggy laughter.

You see, Bernies sells an alcoholic concoction that they call Jell-O shots.  Not just any Jell-O shots but Jell-O shots in different flavors and topped with Pop Rocks.  Yep Pop Rocks – you know the little candies that pop in your mouth and was the roar years and years ago.  Well mom thought hey ya’ll, let’s do some Jell-O shots.  And everyone was like sure why not we’ve never had any before.  So the table of Jell-O virgins had shots all around all in different flavors.

You take a little stirring stick and break the Jell-O from the sides and then gulp in down in one or two swallows.  At the time of swallowing, you have the magical Pop Rocks popping in your mouth.  Well one Jell-O shot led to several Jell-O shots and the table was feeling great.

So great was the Jell-O shots that even Bashful had to get into the action.  And we all know that rock likes his alcohol for sure!  So everyone left the restaurant in good spirits and walked back across the street to their hotel.  Now last week, I hinted at something extra that my mom did with her circus wig.  So now, I’m going to tell you what she did.  Come closer.

Everyone went to their rooms and it was decided that they would change into swimsuits to go to the pool, which was right across their rooms.  So mom changes into her swimsuit and giggles like a school girl in the bathroom.  She comes out with her robe and tells daddy what she did.  Daddy falls across the bed he is laughing so hard.  Mom then goes over to the joining door to Fozziemom’s room and knocks.  Fozziemom answers and she tells Fozziemom that she needs her opinion in something.  Fozziemom was so quick to say sure what do you have.  Mom then opens up her robe showing her bathing suit.  And let’s just say mom put that wig ‘down under’.  She then proceeded to ask Fozziemom if she thought mom needed to shave before going to the pool.  Honest truth.  That shows you how whacked my mom is.  Snorts with piggy laughter.

So until we meet again – cheers!

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Nothing to see here.  Really there’s not.  I was just having a prayer meeting with Mr. Kitty.  That’s all.  Doggy Scouts Honor.  Signed Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Dear Innocent Until Proven Guilty – Oh wow my friend.  How could anyone think anything other than just a prayer meeting was going on in that picture?  I mean Mr. Kitty just would normally be cornered standing up straight with his hands down.  Now to think of though – if it was a prayer meeting, why wasn’t his hands up?  You gotta think about these questions that might come up.  And the look on his face – well that doesn’t say Amen to me.  I’m just telling you like I see it.

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   Dear Bacon – The humans came home early.  How dare them.  Don’t they know that once the leave for work, this crib is mine for eight hours or more?  Here I was taking a little dip in the inside pool.  They walked in like I was killing the pet bird or something.  Honestly, some people.  If they didn’t want me to swim in the pool, don’t leave the lid up.  Signed Skinny Dipping

Dear Skinny Dipping – Remind me not to get to close to your snuggles when I visit.  I don’t think that contraption is made for your swimming convenience.  I’ve seen what my daddy does in it.  It’s not pretty.  Trust me on that.  Shivers.

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  Dear Bacon – Can you believe my owner accused me of getting into her so called make up?  I did not touch her war paint.  No I didn’t.  You can’t prove these things.  She didn’t see me in it.  Hhummphh – I think I’ll go take a walk outside now.  Signed Painted Lady

Dear Painted Lady –  Uumm, you might want to rethink your stand on the no touchy of the war paint.  Go look in the mirror.  I think you will ‘see’ what is giving you away.  Although I do like the color of your paws and mouth, it looks like that lipstick didn’t get away.  One shade darker and it would look like a crime scene happened at your crib with you being the victim.  Of course on the other hoof, that would make an awesome Halloween costume.  Crime Scene or Street Walker – you make the call – snorts with piggy laughter.

 

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 Dear Bacon – This may look like shredded paper all over the floor but it’s not.  I have a perfectly good excuse for this.  You see my humans leave me in the kitchen while they go to make the money to keep me in the life I’ve grown accustomed.  Well, I’ve watched my mom clip her so called coupons all the time.  If you look closer at these papers, they are coupons.  I was just trying to lend a helping paw and help her out.  You know, to give her more time to pet and play with me.  You understand, right?  Signed Coupon Clipper

Dear Coupon Clipper – I give you one for helping and participating in the household budget my friend.  Unfortunately though, I don’t think those coupons will work the way you cut them.  I’m sure your mom understood your willing to help.  Maybe next time, you let her do the clipping with one hand while she pets you with the other.

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REMEMBER my friends – Dear Bacon can’t help without your participation. Keep sending your letters and pictures to my email address.  Snorts and Oinks!

 

31 Days of Spook – Devil’s Pool

Squeals!  I have another guest submission today from my Auntie Sharon who lives in Australia.  Oh my friends – this is definitely a scary one.  Will someone hold my hoof please?

An Australian Ghost Story.

Aussies are not known for their timid nature or of being easily scared. When you share your home and garden with flesh eating spiders and snakes that can kill in several minutes one tends to get a bit desensitized to the horror side of life.

However there is a place in Australia that the thought of gives me the creeps. There are signs every where advising people not to swim and even have signs with pictures showing how people could drown if they swim.

Alas some people seem to see the “do not swim” because you will get drowned or eaten as a challenge.

Which brings me to the many mysterious deaths at Devil’s pool. Wouldn’t you think a water hole called Devils Pool with signs everywhere would deter people from swimming there? No! People go there in droves and unfortunately, not every one leaves. There is talk of people drowning there WHO WERE NOT SWIMMING at the time??

This story goes way back to the story of our ancestors before European settlement and it seems Devil’s Pool is haunted by a young native girl called Oolana who lures young men to their death as she tries to find her lost love.

The story may or not be true but the drownings are very true.

Tell me, would you risk it a have a swim on a red hot day in this pool?

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Sometimes I smell things.  And then I see things.  No, i’m not a ghost.  You see it seems like the yard next to me has it going on with Stacy’s mom.  She’s always grilling and hanging out near the pool.  I just want to go over and play.  The other day, the laughter and the smells were so wonderful.  I stuck my head under the gate to see what was taking place.  I wasn’t really stuck but I acted like it to get everyone’s attention.  They came to the gate and invited me over.  What a party!  Signed Pup of the Party

Dear Pup of the Party – Hey dude, it sounds like you had the plan for the party.  You got an invite – I knew you would with that cute little grin.  Now go and play like a good fellow – tell Stacy’s mom I said hey.

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Dear Bacon – My master likes to play in the yard and work the ground for a garden.  Rolls my doggy eyes.  I’ll help to a certain point – especially when he is planting the watermelon.  Who doesn’t love watermelon, right?  This is me helping my master out by holding his tools.  And I always say safety first – wear a hat to keep the sun out of your face.  Signed Garden Patch

Dear Garden Patch – Hey my friend I like the way you think.  Maybe your master should give my mom some lessons on growing watermelons.  I love those big balls of wonder.  They are so tasty – I even like eating the rind.  Licks piggy lips.  Now look what you have done.  My miniature pot-belly is rumbling for the hungry of a watermelon.  Maybe its not too late in the stores for mom to pick me up one?  I love you being a helping paw.  I think the humans could use more of them.  Take care my friend – happy gardening.

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Dear Bacon – You *always* have that one sibling that can’t keep their tongue out of your ear.  Purrs in aggravation.  Dory has been ‘grooming’ my ear now for twenty minutes.  Can you please make her go away?  If I screech at her, she’ll run to mommy that I’m not playing nice.  Girls – eeww.  Signed Marlin

Dear Marlin – Girls.  That’s all you had to say my friend.  You can’t live with them and you definitely can’t live without them.  You have nerves of steel to let your sister Dory bother you for that long.  Hopefully, it will be over soon.  If not, perhaps you can stretch and tell her you need a bathroom break.  Just a thought!

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Dear Bacon – I am not amused.  Really, I’m not.  The human insisted that I needed a bath.  I could have done my own thank you very much.  But no – the human wanted to give me one.  Help me.  That’s all I gotta say and I’m thinking my look says it all.  Signed Cat in a Shower Cap

Dear Cat in a Shower Cap – Well, wait a minute I need to get a straight face for this, you look all nice and clean.  How ironical that your mom picked out a Tweety Bird towel for you.  It’s kind of fitting.  And that shower cap – OMP – perfect.  No sense in getting water in those cute little perky ears.  Go with it my friend.

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Dear Bacon –  Some people use dowsing rods to find paranormal activity.  I don’t need those.  Some people even use a sixth sense to find paranormal activity.  I don’t need those either.  Heck, I don’t need to find anything paranormal.  I just need to find food.  And let me tell you, with these ears of mine I can find all of the food I want.  They lead me and I follow.  There’s much to appreciate in letting your ears lead you.  Signed Food on the Run

Dear Food on the Run – I say let it be my friend – let it be!  Lead on to the food and pig out!

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REMEMBER friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your pictures and questions via email.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Bacon

I have to give a shout out to my little brother Houdini for helping out last week in my Dear Bacon issue.  Who knew that the pooch had it in him to give such great advice?  Awesome job little guy – thanks so much!!

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Dear Bacon – Sometimes drastic times call for drastic measures.  I’m just saying.  There we were at the kennel – just the two of us because our parents decided to go on a trip without us.  How could they?  Neither one of us could believe that they put us up in a kennel while they had a great time in the sun.  What’s worse?  They forgot my teddy bear.  So I did what I had to do.  I used the dog as my teddy bear.  Have you ever been in this kind of situation?  Signed Lost in Vacation

Dear Lost in Vacation – Have I ever my friend?  Like you said, sometimes you have to do what you have to do to make it work.  There was no problem in using your brother as your teddy bear.  Doesn’t look like he cared the least.  In fact, it probably made him feel better knowing that you were there with him while your parents were having fun.  I say you made the best out of the situation friend.  And I know how you feel.  Last week at camp, mom forgot my king size Egyptian cotton sheet.  It was horrid not having my blankie with me all week.  It was the first thing I went to when I came home Saturday night.  I know exactly how you feel!

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Dear Bacon – Sometimes you have just had that kind of day.  You know the one.  The one where you can’t catch the squirrel.. or the mailman.. or that loud car that vrooms-vrooms up/down the street all day taunting you..or that pesky purr thing.  Shakes head.  Today was that day.  The cat ate all of my food.  Mom forgot to give me water before her and dad left for work.  I was thirsty.  I couldn’t even get to the toilet in the bathroom because the purr thing shut the door.  That purr thing really has it out for me.  So, when dad finally got home.  I had to have a cold one.  It was screaming my name.  Have you ever felt this way?  Signed Cold Brewsky

Dear Cold Brewsky – In a word, YES.  I have felt that way at times.  You should try living here at the Hotel Thompson with a pooch and two purr things. The pooch I can handle most of the time.  It’s those two pesky purr things.  They are conniving.  And yours shut the bathroom door on purpose and drunk all your water.  WOW!  I think that calls for a major payback.  Nods head and looks innocent – not that I sponsor that kind of thing in this world where we all need to get along.  I’m just sayin’ though when the purr thing isn’t looking maybe you should turn their drinking water yellow if you know what I mean.  Let them know what it’s like not to have fresh water all day.  Take care of yourself little guy!

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Dear Bacon – That damn dog. Yep I said it.  I know you don’t like to hear things like that but look what that stupid Brewsky did to me!  He dared me to go out on this stupid flimsy looking float.  Okay maybe with that dare was a piece of cat treat that he strategically placed on the floaty thing.  What can I say – my stomach rules me.  I got on this piece of floating crap and he pushed it out into the water.  I’m stuck!  Call PETA.  Call Animal Control.  Call someone.  I’m stuck on an island of hate.  You just wait until I get that creepy little dog!  Signed Island of Claws and Hisses

Dear Island of Claws and Hisses – Give me a second to pick myself off of the floor from laughing.  Why don’t you give Brewsky a break.  If I read his letter correctly above, did you not drink all of HIS water and shut the bathroom door so he went without water all day?  At least he gave YOU water.  I’m just sayin’.  Can I get you anything?  A pillow, some tea or a biscuit?  Snorts with piggy laughter.  Don’t worry, I’ll call your parents…. in a couple of hours.  Give the dog a bone and put those claws in… you wouldn’t want to get a hole in your floaty thing.

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Dear Bacon – Oh have mercy to the doggy heaven.  What has been seen can not be unseen.  Shakes head.  I do believe that my eyes are stuck this way.  The humans they scare me.  If you ever hear your humans say something about going skinny dipping – don’t walk – RUN!  There we were last night outside near the pool.  The only light we had was from the blue moon.  The humans were laughing like they do sometimes and talking about skinny dipping.  Let me just tell you that there is no skinny or dipping involved.  They took off their clothes and jumped in the pool.  That’s right – without anything on.  Oh.my.eyes!  Signed Shocked for Life

Dear Shocked for Life – Oh my piggy heavens!  That look – I was so hoping that you just had a Botox injection and not was scarred for life.  I so hope my humans don’t dare this.  First off because my piggy pool wouldn’t hold my dad’s foot let alone the both of their bodies.  And running naked in my backyard under the moon with just the two of them, I think the earth would just suck me up right there and then.  I hope your look goes away soon my friend.

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Dear Bacon – What?  I’m sure you have heard of the saying piggy back ride.  That’s what we were doing here.  The humans had went to work. We drew straws and I got to go first.  What?  Don’t all dogs do this?  It’s kind of fun.  Why should you piggies have all of the fun with this neat ride?  Signed Harley and Davidson

Dear Harley and Davidson – Well guys I gotta say it is fun.  Sometimes the little guy here, Houdini, gets on my back for a piggy back ride.  And hey let me tell you something.  Piggy back is not just for anipals.  I saw daddy giving mommy a piggy back ride the other day.  It’s a fun game – what can I say?  Carry on and don’t worry my friends.  I’m not hating!

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Remember friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU!  Please keep sending your pictures and questions to my email. 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – All I can say is meow!  What we do for our humans to see the smiles on their faces.  Sometimes a line needs to be drawn.  Me wearing a sock is where that line comes into play.  At least they could have washed the sock first.  Eeow Meow.  Help.  Signed Helpless

Dear Helpless – Let’s look at this in a different way my friend.  Looking at your arms, I don’t see a lot of hair.  Perhaps – and this is stretching it a bit – but perhaps they were thinking of you and your needs.  Perhaps they thought you were cold in this weather?  Yeah, that’s it.  They were trying to comfort you and keep your warm.  Okay, they have a funny way of showing it by using a stinky sock but tell me this.  Did it do the trick?  Are you all snug as a bug and warm in that cocoon?  And hey, you may look like that the little guy from Harry Potter but you do look kind of cute there.  It’s in the eyes my friend.

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Dear Bacon –  Can’t stop right now.  I’m playing G-Force on the PlayStation.  You know what G-Force is, right?  It’s a game with guinea pigs that have awesome skills – just like me.  Humans don’t understand the game because well they are not us and us have secrets to the world.  You understand right Bacon?  Signed G-Force in Action

Dear G Force in Action – I understand perfectly my little friend.  We take all of gaming very serious.  You should see me on Mario Brothers or Tetris.  I can do wonders in high scores in these games.  What the humans don’t know won’t hurt them.  I gotta go now.  I’m working on some signs for “BACON FOR PRESIDENT 2016”.  What do you think?  Can us anipals pull together and make this happen?  I think we can.  I *know* we can!

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Dear Bacon – I found this wonderful creation in the home the humans live in.  It’s white and very soft.  So soft that I think it needs to go in my pouch.  Have you ever seen this puffy wonder?  Signed Roo with No Clue

Dear Roo with No Clue –  Oh my friend.  That marshmallow white puff is something that the humans hold close to them in their scratch box room.  It’s like sacred to them for something – I’m not sure what though.  If you are going to take it, take it fast before they catch you.  Awesome find!

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Dear Bacon –  There I was walking in the jungle, minding my own business and I got a little thirsty.  When what did I see?  I saw this home that some crazy human built in the trees.  I was like WOW that’s fascinating.  So I walked over to it and looked over the edge.  BINGO!  Winner winner this elephant is a winner.  I found a watering hole just for me!  I don’t think they would mind.  Have you ever seen anything like this?  Signed Bingo

Dear Bingo – Awesome find my friend.  I’ve seen this guy on television make these homes in the tree.  I would love to have one.  I’ve been trying to talk my dad into it but somehow he doesn’t think it’s a great idea.  I can’t imagine why it wouldn’t be.  Have fun my friend.  Say hey to the humans for me. .

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REMEMBER FRIENDS – Dear Bacon can’t happen without *you*.  Please keep sending your pictures and letters to me via email 🙂

 

Dear Bacon

 

 Dear Bacon,  My friends say I catch like a girl.  I don’t get it.  What would make them think that of me?   My owners are always throwing stuff at me.  I look at it as fun and games.  Do you like to play like this?  Signed Eeekkk

Dear Eeekk – Oh my friend.  I have no idea why your friends would say something like that about you.  I have no clue.  Your paws up in the air like that are just so darling – did that big bone get you by surprise?  Snorts.

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 Dear Bacon,  What?  I didn’t do this to the front room.  No sir I didn’t.  I walked in the front room and it was like this.  It wasn’t me.  Look closer at the picture – it was that flea ridden dog – he was the one that did this.  He is the one that is trying to frame sweet innocent little old me.  That’s the truth.  Cat’s honor.  Until they get paw prints taken, I am innocent my friend.  Signed Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Dear Innocent Until Proven Guilty, Well my friend I do see the pooch in question in the picture.  You do realize that technology is so advanced these days that they can take paw prints and saliva to figure out who did these things.  I’m just saying that if the dog did do it … cough cough… there would be some dog slobber somewhere.  If not, then things can get turned your way really fast.  So knowing this… perhaps you need to go and have a talk with poochie before the humans get home?  Just sayin’.

P.S.  Well played in your destruction.

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Dear Bacon, I’m totally a rule breaker.  This sign says Keep Off.  Guess what?  I’m not down with that.  That sign was just begging for this little pug thug to get up on it and take a picture.  BAM!  That’s what I say.  Signed Thug Wanna Be.  P.S.  Can you help me off of here now?

Dear Thug Wanna Be, okay that’s almost too funny for words my talented little pooch.  I hope jumping up there didn’t stunt your genealogy line for the future.  I do admire your tenacity of breaking the rules.  You’re my kind of guy.  Don’t worry.  I called Triple A.  They should be out shortly to help you down from your pedestal gracefully… soon I hope.  Until then, can I get you anything?  Coffee, tea, blanket, pillow?

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Dear Bacon,  Everyone likes to play in the water… my asses aren’t any different.  Really, you should be getting your pool out and ready soon.  Have fun our little friend.  If you get a chance, come join us – there’s always room for more fun.  Signed Mommy Donk

Dear Mommy Donk, You know when I first read your comment I thought, “WOW, you really hate your kids.”  Then dad explained all to me.  Smiles and grins – love your play with words totally.  This oinker would love to join ya’ll the next time I’m in town.  Until then, keep playing and having the time of your lives!

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Remember friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please keep emailing your pictures and questions to me.  ❤

 

Weekend Over – YAY!

Sigh – oinks – snorts.  The weekend is over.  Did you have fun?  What did you do?  Me? Well, I slept a lot to get plenty of rest.  I also ate a lot.  It’s hard maintaining this beautiful pot belly physique.

Yesterday, we watched movies on television all day long.  It was the best time!

Mommy actually pulled out all of her Twilight movies – all FIVE of them for a marathon.  Daddy even watched – he lost a bet so it was mom’s choice – go mom.  You know the Twilight movies, right?  Most people go Team Edward or Team Jacob.  I think there needs to be a Team BACON – what do you think? Snorts.

It was a great LONG day full of wolves, love and vampires.  Mom even fixed popcorn – and yeah I let her take a picture of me.  This was delicious popcorn – popped on the stove the old fashioned way – yummy and smells good!

XOXO – Team Bacon

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

I don’t get it.  Everyone talked about getting in the pool today and having great fun.  I got ready and showed up.  They laughed at me.  I don’t get it.  Why would they laugh at me?  I don’t like it when the water gets in my eyes when I go under.  What?  It’s really no different than you not liking the grass to touch your hooves.  Right?  Signed Super Swimmer

Dear Super Swimmer,

Look pal.  Do like I do.  Don’t worry about what other people may think.  If it works for you, then do it.  You are in control of your own destiny.  People in my hood make fun of me all of the time when I go outside.  That’s okay.  It’s my business.  Just like that’s your business.  Keep your head up… unless you’re going under the weather.. and bloom how you are planted.

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Dear Bacon,

If those little humans can play dress up in the house with their mom’s things, why can’t I?  I know these shoes are big but it really is a bark of a good time walking around in these what do the humans call them – heels – that’s it.  I highly recommend them.  I think they’ve done wonders to the muscle tone in my legs – do you?  Signed Fashionista

Dear Fashionista,

Hubba – hubba.  Bring on the fishnets my friend. (Note: I don’t know what that means.  Daddy said that.)  You look totally amazing.  I would escort you anywhere any day.

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Dear Bacon, WOW!?  What has been seen can NOT be unseen. You’ve heard that before I’m sure.  It’s summer.  It’s hot.  How hot you ask?  I’m glad you asked.  My humans – God only knows what they were doing – came outside wearing nothing.. not a stitch of clothing and went swimming.  OMD – really?!  My eyes!  What to do??  Signed Scared

Dear Scared, WOW!  I feel you my friend.  It’s cool here inside of the Hotel Thompson but I can feel you.  My human dad believes in naked world.  Shakes piggy head.  There is no hope for some humans my friend.  The best thing to do is ignore it.  It doesn’t get any better.  Stay strong. .

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. Dear Bacon, This is my happy face.  There is nothing like laying with your human mommy and having them love on you.  Do you agree?  Signed Happy

 

Dear Happy,

I hear you loud and clear my sweet friend.  That is a look of contentment.  I know it very well.  My human mommy does the same for me – there is nothing like it in this entire world.  Enjoy my friend – enjoy!

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. Dear Bacon,

My humans work from home.  Personally, I don’t think they need to work today.  Today, I think they need to stop and smell the roses.  You know, come and hang out with me and have some fun.  If I sit in their chair long enough with this look, do you think they will take the hint?  Signed Felinefun

Dear Felinefun,

I agree with you 100% my little friend.  With that look, how could your humans possibly say no?  They have to give you some time, cuddle and play with you.  Just you – kind of like a play date, right?  Let me know if it works out for you – have fun!

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Remember my friends.  Dear Bacon issues can’t happen without you.  Please continue to send me your pictures/questions at baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Are You Ready for This?!

Guess what.  Go ahead guess.  I betcha can’t guess.  I’ll give you a hint.  Something happened this weekend.  Can you guess what it was.  Can you?  Can you?  Okay let me show you a hint.

Do you see what that is?  Huh?  Really – a P.O.O.L.  To be more exact, it’s *my* piggy pool.  It’s a start.  Mom and dad got if for me this past weekend.  Nope, I haven’t tried it yet.  Can you believe it rained ALL weekend – Mother Nature is so against me!  It’s my size for now.  It fits perfect on my back deck.  Dad says he wants to see how I will go for it first before he invests way too much money on me.  Snorts – silly man.  Of course, it’s going to be great and I will go for it!  Can’t wait.  Just wanted to let ya’ll know – it finally happened.  The fat lady sung and I got my pool!!  YAY ME!  Now, that’s what I call piggy power!