Dear Bacon, HELP! I lost my favorite squeaky ducky. I ❤ that ducky. He’s my bestie in the entire world. I haven’t been able to find him for hours. What’s a dog to do? I can’t sleep without him. Can you help me find him? Signed Lost Ducky
Dear Lost Ducky, Uuumm. Smile really BIG and open your mouth. Did anything fall out? There you go. Lost ducky found my friend. You two make a great team. Go Ya’ll!
Dear Bacon, Can you please explain to us WHY there is *always* a longer line at the women’s restrooms. We don’t get it. We always have to wait while the men’s line seems to keep moving. Can you help us out? Signed Waiting Patiently but With Legs Crossed
Dear Waiting Patiently but With Legs Crossed, That is a dilemma my friends. I hear my mom talking about this all of the time. She says it’s because women have more to do. Not in a bad way, but ya’ll do. That’s what makes ya’ll special. Might I suggest when no one is looking, run to the men’s room. Hey, if there’s no line there, why wait, right? And remember – ya’ll are beautiful!
Dear Bacon, Really? Why does my humans think this picture is hilarious? They couldn’t stop laughing. I don’t get it. I saw this paci thingy fall from the smaller human so I bit it to see what it is all about. Then my humans started laughing and snapped this picture. I don’t get it. This stupid paci does nothing for me like it does the small crying human. Signed Pugneck
Dear Pugneck, Wait a minute my friend. I need to put down my paper sack that was breathing in after seeing that picture. So let me understand this. You’re okay with the picture being taken. You’re confusion falls into what exactly the paci thingy does for the crying miniature human. Good one. Yep, that’s where your concern should be. You see, small miniature humans depend on those things to calm them. It may not have that effect on say – the likes of you. But on the other paw, it does amuse and “calm” humans to see you trying it out…. heck, it amuses me for that matter too my friend. Snorts.
Dear Bacon, There I was sitting on the sofa, enjoying my cup of java, fresh out of the shower and watching Maury Povich on the television. I was minding my own business. Then walks in the cable guy and snaps this picture of me on his cell phone. WTD?! Don’t we have any privacy in our own home anymore? Next thing I knew, the cable man had tweeted this out to all his friends. Talk about an invasion of privacy. The nerve! Signed Dog of Leisure
Dear Dog of Leisure, WOW – the cable man got to your house that early? That in itself is amazing brother. I can’t believe that. A cable man that actually shows up FIRST thing in the morning? WOW – I’m amazed at that. It took the cable man two weeks and four hours to show up here at the Hotel Thompson for our last upgrade. Astonishing. Oh, I’m sorry. You had a problem about the picture being tweeted. Here’s what you do. Under the tweet, tweet that the cable man actually showed up FIRST thing in the morning. He’ll be trashed by other cable men for letting them down in his accuracy. You just wait – stay strong and carry on!
Dear Bacon, my humans will suffer the consequences of this get up on me. The disgust. The nerve. The humiliation. Oh dear Lord, help me out buddy. Signed Not Amused
Dear Not Amused, Well at least it has your seal of not being amused – snorts. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t joke in a time like this. I would clap for your approval but I don’t think you could do that for me. I gotta ask though. Is there a drop pouch for potty breaks? If not, someone is going to have some cleaning up on aisle three to do – double snorts. Hey, I’m joking. I’m sorry little buddy. You do look cute though. Not many pooches could carry that one. Wear it with pride. That’s it. And hey, if the seal isn’t broken, don’t fix it.
Tags: adventure, advice, advice column, animal, appreciation, bacon, columm, comedy, cute, Dear Abby, Dear Bacon, dog, entertainment, freedom, Friends, fun, funny, games, growing up, happy, Hotel Thompson, humor, kid, Love, miniature pot bellied pig, pet, pets, pig, play, priceless, rubber ducky, smart, snorts, spoiled, trouble
You’ve caught us. This is what we do when the humans aren’t looking. ssshh – kind of keep it to yourself okay. You’re welcomed to join us anytime – just bring your lightsaber. Signed Squirrel Wars
Dear Squirrel Wars,
Hey – I’m in! This looks like fun. Party in the back of the Hotel Thompson this weekend. I’ll call Journalist Rocky the Squirrel to get the invites out. Thanks my friends!
Part of fitting in is the disguise. I’ve been hanging out on the pier now for two whole days and no one has noticed me. I think it’s the hat – maybe the fishing rod. So I now know the answer to life’s greatest problem – blend in with the humans. What do you think? You want me to get you a rod and hat to come out with me? Signed BirdGilligan
WOW! I’m glad you told me who you were, I would have never guessed it! You do blend in so well. I’m wondering if I wore that outfit would humans ever think it was me? How about I try to meet you soon and we can test that theory? But first of all, I have to ask. Can you lift 45 pounds? Because if the humans catch on, you gotta get me out of there before they start looking at you as a two piece and me as bar-be-que. Shivers.
I’m in the police academy trying out for a police officer. I think I have the gun stance down. You think? Why don’t you come join me? I’ve heard it runs in your family and perhaps someone in the family can put in a good word for us? Signed Stop or I’ll Shoot
Dear Stop or I’ll Shoot,
That is a good stance. I’m impressed. I don’t think that I’m ‘police officer’ material in that way though. My hooves – well they just get in the way when I try to hold some heat. I’m more of a Pig9… you know something like a K9 but with me, an oinker. With this snout, I think I can be trained to smell out all of the bad things out there. But hey, what if we were partners? You the bad cop and me the good cop – raises eyebrows. That would work partner!
HELP! There’s something on my noise and I can’t see it. It tickles. Hurry, what is it? Is it dangerous?! Signed Crossed Eyes
Dear Crossed Eyes,
Snort giggles. Never fear my purr friend. It’s just a lady bug. They are good luck. I think she likes you. Maybe be nice to her and make a new friend. There’s nothing to harm you little guy.
I think me and my friend are twins! We both have some of the same characteristics – you know like being devious and mischievous – purr laugh. I think it’s the constant smile that pulls the humans into our lives. There’s only one small, tiny, little difference. My friend can reshape his body to frighten peeps. I can almost do that… not the way he does but I’m learning. Signed Cheshire in Training
Dear Cheshire in Training,
WOW – I almost couldn’t tell the difference between you two. That smile – it’s almost identical my friend. Perhaps you can play his stunt double in real life? That’s always an idea. Just think of the fame and fortune you would have. Carry on my friend and keep smiling.
Tags: adventure, advice, advice column, animal, appreciation, bacon, cat, Cheshire Cat, columm, comedy, cute, Dear Abby, Dear Bacon, dog, entertainment, freedom, Friends, fun, funny, games, growing up, happy, Hotel Thompson, humor, kid, Love, miniature pot bellied pig, pet, pig, play, playful, priceless, smart, snorts, spoiled, trouble
They say that we can all stand on our heads. I don’t know. I think I may be vertically challenged or maybe my head is not flat enough. I just can’t seem to be able to do it all the way with my back legs straight up. It throws me off balance. Can you do it? Signed Not Happening
Dear Not Happening,
Never dear friend. Sometimes we are just not built to do these weird things that you see the humans partake. I can’t stand on my head. This pot belly of mine knocks me off center every time. And my mom, even though she’s human, she can’t do it either. Don’t try to be like everyone else. Make your own path and be happy – leave the sitting to your bottom.
There’s always that one idiot that has to pop in your picture. Can you relate? I was minding my own business in this shot. I just wanted it to look halfway decent to post on my Pet Harmony dating profile. Signed Available
Yep. I know exactly what you are talking about. Hemi, the purr thing here at the Hotel Thompson, thinks he should be in every camera shot. He is always photo bombing my pictures. Just keep smiling. Pay back can really be tortuous for our sidekicks. Right? Maybe sign up your friend as well on Pet Harmony and post his picture – of course with your picture cropped out. Snort giggles.
It’s a wonderful thing to have such great friends. Out in the pasture, sometimes I just get tuckered out. That’s my good buddy will help me out and let me take a nap. Isn’t that nice of him? Signed Sleepy on the Road
Dear Sleepy on the Road,
That is an excellent friend. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen that kind of friendship before. You are most definitely one lucky little guy!
I coach a soccer team on the weekends. We are always looking for a few new team players. You ever think about playing? I’ve heard that snout of yours can be classified as a deadly weapon.
We could use a player like you. What do you say? Signed Coach Jones of Team Anipals
Dear Coach Jones of Team Anipals,
That sounds like a great deal of fun. I’m In to give it a shot. This snout is very wicked and these hooves are very fast!!
I think I need some anti wrinkle cream. Every time I wake up, I have more wrinkles! Soon, you’ll just see one giant sloppy dog. What can a pooch do? Please help. Signed Wrinkles
As Lady Gaga once said, “Just put your paws up, Cause you were born this way, baby”. Embrace the way you are and don’t try to fight it my friend. Be happy in your own wrinkles.
Tags: adventure, advice, advice column, animal, appreciation, bacon, cat, coach, column, comedy, cute, Dear Abby, Dear Bacon, dog, entertainment, freedom, Friends, funny, games, growing up, happy, Hotel Thompson, humor, kid, Love, miniature pot bellied pig, pet, pets, pig, play, playful, smart, snorts, spoiled, trouble, wrinkles
What? Don’t hate. You know you want a hat just like mine so you can play outside with it. Right? Signed Scooter
Yeah, sure. I would absolutely LOVE to have a hat like yours to wear outside and make the funny thing on top go around and around Maybe if it was real windy, I could fly. I like the sound of that! So, yes two please my friend 🙂
This is just me telling my friends on how to get more seed and nuts from the humans. Any suggestions for us? Signed Cute as Can Be
Dear Cute as Can Be,
Well you can also take tips from Journalist Rocky the Squirrel. He knocks on our back door frequently asking for a cup of nuts for him and his family. Mom even throws leftover bread out to them to help them out. You know, you do what you have to do. This economy has hit us all! Take care my friends. If you are ever near the Hotel Thompson, knock on the back door. 🙂
I’ve read about your adventures in your magical back yard. Now this is what *I* consider a magical back yard… with drink in hand! You’re mom promised you a pool. Make her pay up pal. Signed Simple Puss
Dear Simple Puss,
I like the way you think my friend! My mommy made a lot of promises to get me outside. Although its only happened once so far, I think I need to make her pay up with one of the promises being a pool. Do you think I would be pushing it to be able to lay in a chair with a drink and food like you have?
I love to play music. I can bang that keyboard with the best of them. This is me practicing, “Unleashed Melody”. It’s a sad and soothing song to us pooches. Have you ever heard of it? Do you play any musical instruments? Signed Wolfgang Pooch
Dear Wolfgang Pooch,
You do have some talent – way to go my talented young friend. I haven’t heard of that song yet but I will be sure to Google it on the internet and listen to it. I know it has to be amazing! As for this little piglet’s talent. Let me see…. I’m thinking…. mommy says I rip some good ones… but I don’t think she’s referring to a musical instrument for some reason 🙂 I’ll keep thinking about that answer. Take care and maybe we shall see you soon in the Hollywood lights!
Don’t even say it. I know – I know. Yo Quiero Taco Bell. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s really funny. Ha Ha. My humans think it’s funny to dress me up as a taco. How would they like it if I dressed them up like a hot dog? BOL (Barking out loud)! Signed TB
First off, tell me they didn’t name you Taco Bell – TB for short. Now that would be funny. Oh, I’m sorry. But look on the other hand. You are cute. AND, I bet if they took you to a Taco Bell in the drive thru, you would get free food. Free food – that’s good, isn’t it? Be proud little guy. Wear it with pride.
Tags: adventure, advice, advice column, animal, appreciation, bacon, Bad, column, comedy, cute, Dear Abby, Dear Bacon, dog, entertainment, Food, freedom, Friends, fun, funny, games, growing up, happy, Hotel Thompson, humor, kid, Love, miniature pot bellied pig, pet, pets, pig, play, playful, priceless, smart, snorts, spoiled, trouble
Dear Bacon – If it’s good enough to put the crying thing in to settle them down, why can’t I get in it too? It seems like the screaming miniature human gets a lot of attention in this contraption. I don’t seem to be getting the same kind. Why? Can you explain that to me? Signed Dogsad
Dear Dogsad – Aaww – you poor thing. I’m really sorry that you feel left out. I really am. Right now though, your humans are going through a lot with the small human. This will pass when they don’t have to be so fussy with them. You just be patient and stay cute my friend.
Dear Bacon – This means WAR! There I was hanging out on the sofa after a really rough day of chasing the mailman and squirrels. I was minding my own business, had my feet popped up and was enjoying a nice glass of 2012 Francis Ford Coppola Pinot Noir. Then the lights started flashing. My dad took this picture of me and put it all over the internet – he’s even talking about Christmas cards?! I will be ruined! What can I do? Signed Sparky
Dear Sparky – Give me a second friend… snorts and squeals ridiculously loud in a paper bag. Okay, I’m back. Breathes in to get my bearing. What you need to do Sparky is get a hold of that camera. Delete the picture is tops. Then you need to get on the human’s computer and start deleting. I would wait until the humans all asleep and then pounce into action.
Dear Bacon –
If you’re happy and you know it, throw your hooves in the air. If you’re happy and you know it, look so cute. If you’re happy and you know it then your face will surely show it. If you’re happy and you know it, throw your hooves in the air! Signed Cute as a Lamb
Dear Cute as a Lamb –
I’m off now to throw my hooves up in the air! You look as adorable as well me! Have a great one my friend and thanks for sharing!
Dear Bacon – When the humans asked me if I wanted a pancake and I said yes, this is not what I meant. I wanted a pancake to eat not wear. What in the world were they thinking?! Signed Panbunny
Dear Panbunny – I could teach you a trick with that pancake sitting on your head my friend. My daddy taught me how to flip it off of my head and into my mouth. You can do it – I know you can!
Dear Bacon – SQUEAL! Look what I made! Mini-me’s! Aren’t they just too cute?! Signed Surprised
Dear Surprised – They are totally adorable my friend!! So very cute. They look just like you… well except for the bright eyed, bushy tailed, surprise look – snorts.
Tags: adventure, advice, advice column, animal, appreciation, bacon, Bad, cat, column, comedy, cute, Dear Abby, Dear Bacon, dog, entertainment, Food, Friends, fun, funny, games, happy, Hotel Thompson, humor, kid, Love, miniature pot bellied pig, pet, pets, pig, play, playful, priceless, rabbit, sleep, smart, snorts, spoiled, trouble
Dear Bacon – I’m not sure about you but my accountant really bites. He’s got a bad attitude and is always thinking numbers. I don’t get it. Why can’t accountants have pleasant personalities – maybe joke around a bit. I think that would really show a better enthusiasm for their job. I mean we are talking about my money, it may not be a lot but it is mine. I thought I would show you a pic of my guy. I have to admit though, he’s good. He chomps down and sets to work on that keyboard. He looks for everything he can find to deduct. If you ever need a good accountant, let me know okay. Signed Frogger
Dear Frogger – Well my, my, my. Your ‘guy’ does look very – how can I say it – professional in what he does. I see what you mean by his serious look. He does have a stern don’t mess with me kind of disposition. Maybe the numbers bring it out in him? Maybe bring him a gift next time – some swamp water or some Lubriderm lotion. I’ve heard that lotion does wonders for tough skin.
Dear Bacon – My favorite time of the day is in this picture. It’s early morning and it’s breakfast time! They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Trust me. It is. And you know what. Milk does a body good. My little legs will grow strong and my ‘moo’ will be coming out soon. Cause you know what they say? You got to moo-moo it. HA! I made a funny. I told you breakfast is important – it starts my day like awesome. Signed Tina
Dear Tina – Shaking my head. You are right. Breakfast is very important not to miss in starting your day. That’s why every day, I start off with my piggy chow and Cheerios. I gotta keep my figure in check and my cholesterol down. This piggy has places to travel!
Dear Bacon – Don’t you hate it when uninvited solicitors show up at your door? Take for instance, I was settled down reading my magazines and newspaper. You know the typical Sunday leisure day. Then Bob showed up selling God only knows what. I told him I wasn’t interested in and he kept on roaring. How rude! I finally just had to turn and walk away. Maybe he got the hint then. Geez, some anipals huh? Signed Tigger
Dear Tigger – Please don’t send Bob my way. It’s bad enough when solicitors come into our hood. They don’t even come to our crib anymore. Too many times they have showed up and after seeing moi answer the door, they got scared and turned away. I don’t get it. I was just in the doorway with daddy answering the door. Who cares that he was wearing his Sponge Bob underwear. Shakes head.
Dear Bacon – Be glad that you don’t have a desk job little piggy. In this picture, it was a Friday at 4:45 pm – almost time for the weekend to start. The head guy showed up in my doorway and wanted a report that was going to take at least an hour to finish and he needed it that night. WTD? Really? You waited all day to tell me this at 4:45 pm? Shakes dog head – some people have no tact. Signed Bruiser
Dear Bruiser – OMP! I so understand. Mom has been done this way a time or two. I’ll tell you what I tell her when she calls and tells us she is going to be late. It sucks and it’s unfair! I hope you got some overtime for staying over my friend.
Tags: accountant, adventure, advice, advice column, animal, appreciation, bacon, Bad, cat, column, comedy, cute, Dear Abby, Dear Bacon, desk job, dog, entertainment, Food, freedom, Friends, fun, funny, growing up, happy, Hotel Thompson, humor, kid, Love, miniature pot bellied pig, pet, pets, play, playful, priceless, smart, snorts, spoiled, trouble
Dear Bacon – I’m getting too old to be the party dog in the crowd. My friends are trying to have an intervention with me and took this picture. I really didn’t think I had gotten that bad but pictures don’t lie, right? Between the beer and the shots of tequila, I was out for the night. I guess it’s time for me to reach out for help. What do you suggest? Signed Boozer
Dear Boozer – You are right my little friend. Admission is the first step and you have taken that step in the right direction. There are group meetings that you can attend in your area with AAA (Anipal Alcoholic Anonymous). Make that phone call my friend and good luck with your recovery.
Dear Bacon – The big thing right now is to Netflix and chill. I’m all for it. This is me watching my favorite movie Willard. If you haven’t seen it, you must watch it. It’s amazing. And of course no movie is perfect without the snack of some cheese. What’s your favorite movie to chill? Signed Will Jr
Dear Will Jr – Well my friend. I looked up your movie. It is what shall I say intriguing for sure. My favorite movie lately is My Brother the Pig. This is also an amazing movie. And I like to watch it with snacks as well – my favorite is popcorn. You keep chilling little guy!
Dear Bacon – Cheap labor. That’s what I call this. Our human has a lawn service and dude he puts us to work for kibbles. We all have our assigned duties from leaf blower, raking and working the riding lawn mower. It’s unheard of but it does make for some interesting looks when the humans drive by. I’m hoping that one of the neighborhood ladies will take notice of our skills. What do you think – we got a chance? Signed Canine Lawn Care
Dear Canine Lawn Care – Hey, if you were in my hood, I would definitely hire you for sure my friends. However you get the job done, that’s key in my book. And once the ladies notice your working skills and the kibbles that you are bringing in, they will have to take numbers at your front door. Be safe!
Dear Bacon – Look dude, it was a spider on the ground. I don’t do spiders. Nope, not at all. And it was gigantic. There was no way I was staying on the ground with that monster. And those humans – they just walked around it like it was nothing. They are the strangest people. You afraid of those creepy crawlers too, right? Signed Spastic
Dear Spastic – Let me get this right. You are afraid of spiders but not height. That’s amazing. And what’s more amazing is that the humans are just walking by without a care not even paying you any attention. WOW. Too bad you can’t act like a bird and drop a little something if you know what I mean – snorts with piggy laughter. I do understand your arachnophobia. I myself don’t like the little pests with all of those legs either. No one blames you for that. Just be careful getting down off that limb okay bro.
Dear Bacon – Look at me – I’m a turtle. Barks! Okay maybe not a turtle. Maybe a cute little pooch. Yep that’s who I am – a cute little pooch. My human is always dressing me up different ways. I say go for it because they always give me great treats in return. Do your humans make you do anything stupid for treats? Signed Michaelangelo
Dear Michaelangelo – Once my mom put me near a carton of eggs and took my picture. She said I was the bacon and eggs in its original form. I don’t get it but mom/dad got a great laugh out of it. And like you as well – I got great treats. So hey, if it doesn’t hurt us then I say wear it with pride.
Tags: AA, adventure, advice, advice column, animal, appreciation, bacon, Bad, column, comedy, cute, Dear Abby, Dear Bacon, dog, entertainment, freedom, Friends, fun, funny, games, growing up, happy, Hotel Thompson, humor, intervention, kid, labor, lawn service, Love, miniature pot bellied pig, Mom, mommy, mouse, My Brother the Pig, Netflix, Netflix and chill, pet, pets, pig, play, playful, priceless, smart, snorts, spoiled, trouble, Williard
Dear Bacon – Just the facts little guy. Nothing but the facts. We’ve been watching too many repeats of the movies Men in Black. Don’t ask me which is which. We just like to dress like Kay and Jay. You know, just for fun and giggles. The neighborhood doesn’t know how to act when we roll into it – bark. What do you think? Do you like to dress up like any of your favorite guys? Signed Kay/Jay
Dear Kay and Jay – Oh dudes – I love the look! That is so neat. I’ve seen those movies and ya’ll kind of look just like the two. I think it’s the ties and sunglasses. I would love to roam around in my costume too. I secretly want to be a piggy super hero. I keep asking mom to make me a cape. I know with a cape, this little piggy would have special powers and be able to fly. Stay cool barky things!
Dear Bacon – This little pup couldn’t take it and fell asleep. When I woke up, there was the hunny jar near me and I was passed out. I don’t know what happened and I don’t know why it’s so funny. The humans keep laughing. Can you explain? Signed Pup Dog
Dear Pup Dog – Snorts – it is kind of funny little man. Your humans are really playing with you. It’s cute. You need to ask the humans to read you the story of Winnie the Pooh. You look like Pooh. He liked his hunny. No, that’s wrong. He LOVED his hunny. Hey, I would keep the costume for Halloween. You’ll get lots of candy!
Dear Bacon – It doesn’t matter what kind of cat you are, we love boxes. It’s that simple. We will get in them and play with them. I just wanted to let you know. Signed Kitty Box
Dear Kitty Box – I’m not hating you on that. I know the purr things here at the Hotel Thompson love to play with their boxes all of the time. Mom/dad area always asking them why buy little purr thing presents when you can just give them the box. Shrugs shoulders. It’s a kitty thing. I completely understand. I tried to do the box thing too. I didn’t get it. I destroyed the box in less than five minutes. Now that’s my fun time! Enjoy the box my friend!
Dear Bacon – I know the purr things like their boxes buy I prefer daddy’s guitar case. While he plays, I crawl in there and the music puts me to sleep. It’s actually more comfortable than it looks. Does your human have a guitar case for you to try this? Signed Squishy
Dear Squishy – You do look most uncomfortable. I think I’m going to let you call this one and let you crawl in. Dad does have a couple of cases but looking at this body, there is no way I will fit in there. I don’t care how much I try. Sleep on my friend!
Dear Bacon – With summer comes doggy camp. I thought I would snap this picture of all of us on the bus headed to camp for the week. It’s a ball! We get to do lots of neat things and have fun. There really isn’t any time to miss the humans. Do you get to go to camp? Signed Campdoggers
Dear Campdoggers – That looks like so much fun! As far as I get to camp is when I go to nana’s for a couple of days. She always fattens me up so I can’t oink. 🙂 It’s fun and you know what they say. What happens at nana’s, stays at nana’s! Have fun at camp!
Tags: adventure, advice, advice column, animal, appreciation, bacon, cat, column, comedy, cute, Dear Abby, Dear Bacon, dog, entertainment, freedom, Friends, fun, funny, games, happy, Holiday, Hotel Thompson, humor, kid, Love, miniature pot bellied pig, pet, pets, pig, play, playful, priceless, smart, snorts, spoiled, trouble
Dear Bacon – I need some help. My master continues to dress me in this silly outfit. I’m not a big fan. When I wear it and we go out on the town, everyone is really sociable though.
They always say, “Hello Kitty”. They’re really nice about it. I on the other hand just can’t stand the outfit and I don’t get it. What can I do? Signed – Purr in Distress
Dear Purr in Distress – You don’t get it do you… Hello Kitty? Do you ever surf the net? Do you ever google Hello Kitty?
You know what – go for it. Wear it with pride. You look really darling and I caught myself saying, “Hheelloo Kkiittyy.”
Dear Bacon – See, I have talent too. I love to ride my bicycle around our little village. People see me rolling – they know I’m hip. So it’s got training wheels – you gotta start somewhere and I love this thing.
You ever thought about riding a bicycle little pig? Signed – Hip to the Hop
Dear Hip to the Hop – Have you looked at me lately? My legs are a little challenged. My front legs are shorter than my back legs.
My tushy is made for comfort not speed. I’m not into exercise unless it involves putting food into my mouth. But, hey more to you dude. Ride it with pride!
Dear Bacon – Every morning we get up and look at the window. It’s our time to sit and reflect with each other. Here lately, this stupid bird gets right in the window and puts his tail feathers in our faces. What is up with that?! What is this birds gone wild or something. We are minding our own business and this chick has to do this? What can we do? Signed – Purr Things of Reflection
Dear Purr Things of Reflection – You have to admit that’s kind of funny. You know, I’m not saying ya’ll do, but a lot of purr things chase after birds. Maybe this bird is “pigeonholing” ya’ll into one little category. Thank you – I thought that was funny too. Maybe try a different window in the house. Maybe try ignoring the bird. Reflect on my purr things and be the better kitty!
Dear Bacon – Every morning my adopted father comes out of the shower naked. I can’t help to look like this every time I see him. I mean, why would you shower naked? I don’t take my fur off, do you? Will this shocked look ever stop? Signed – My Face May Freeze
Dear My Face May Freeze – Hang in there little man. Humans do weird things like that. My mother likes to sit in the water full of bubbles in the dark with candles. Now that is strange to me! Seeing your parent without clothes is natural to them. Be tough little guy. It’ll become second nature to you soon.
Tags: adventure, advice, advice column, animal, appreciation, bacon, Bad, bicycle, cat, column, comedy, cute, Dear Abby, Dear Bacon, devil, dog, entertainment, freedom, Friends, fun, funny, games, growing up, happy, Hello Kitty, Hotel Thompson, humor, kid, Love, miniature pot bellied pig, monkey, pet, pets, pigeon, play, playful, priceless, purr things, smart, spoiled, trouble
Dear Bacon – People come and see me at the zoo all of the time. They take my picture and always say, “Smile”. Well my friend, this is my happy face and I am actually smiling. In fact in this picture that someone took of me, I am meditating. I’m concentrating on thinking perhaps I am taking their pictures and they are posing. What do you think? Signed Happy Monkey
Dear Happy Monkey – I think you are thinking along the right path. I tell you what. I’m going to send you a camera so that you can do just that. Take humans pictures when they try taking your picture. Can you imagine the look on their face when you tell them to smile? Snorts!.
Dear Bacon – Dude, what’s up? I’m like feeling the nature man. I’m rocking with the inspiration of Marley and others. You know, keeping it real and much love to all. Peace Bro. Signed Bob
Dear Bob – WOW! I feel the love all over my friend. You keep rocking it and sharing it with everyone. How could anyone not be happy with you? You have to be the most even mannered pooch I’ve ever met – and the best dressed one to boot. Peace, Love and Rock n Roll to you. Keep it real and love to all.
Dear Bacon – I have to admit that my ears usually are down but on this date I saw something so totally scary that those ears shot straight up and haven’t went back down yet. I saw my humans naked… butt naked… without any clothes. Oh my eyes! Signed Pete
Dear Pete – I’m so sorry my friend. I know it’s hard to get over that. What has been seen can not be unseen now. It does get better though. After a while, it seems second nature and it doesn’t scare you as much. I should know. Daddy lives in naked world when mom is not here. Rolls piggy eyes. He says he cleans better. Now that is a thought you can’t get out of your mind isn’t it? Snorts with piggy laughter.
Dear Bacon – I’m here to answer the ever lasting question – how do you make panda bears. Well, as you can see from the picture you know have the answer – 🙂 You are so welcome. Signed Pan Family
Dear Tongue – Oh my piggy heavens. I have always wondered about that my friends and I’m sure others have as well. Ya’ll are awesome to let us know the secret. What a beautiful family you have there!
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