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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m getting too old to be the party dog in the crowd.  My friends are trying to have an intervention with me and took this picture.  I really didn’t think I had gotten that bad but pictures don’t lie, right?  Between the beer and the shots of tequila, I was out for the night.  I guess it’s time for me to reach out for help.  What do you suggest?  Signed Boozer

Dear Boozer – You are right my little friend.  Admission is the first step and you have taken that step in the right direction.  There are group meetings that you can attend in your area with AAA (Anipal Alcoholic Anonymous).  Make that phone call my friend and good luck with your recovery.


Dear Bacon – The big thing right now is to Netflix and chill.  I’m all for it.  This is me watching my favorite movie Willard.  If you haven’t seen it, you must watch it.  It’s amazing.  And of course no movie is perfect without the snack of some cheese.  What’s your favorite movie to chill?  Signed Will Jr

Dear Will Jr – Well my friend.  I looked up your movie.  It is what shall I say intriguing for sure.  My favorite movie lately is My Brother the Pig.  This is also an amazing movie.  And I like to watch it with snacks as well – my favorite is popcorn.  You keep chilling little guy!

 

 


Dear Bacon – Cheap labor.  That’s what I call this.  Our human has a lawn service and dude he puts us to work for kibbles.  We all have our assigned duties from leaf blower, raking and working the riding lawn mower.  It’s unheard of but it does make for some interesting looks when the humans drive by.  I’m hoping that one of the neighborhood ladies will take notice of our skills.  What do you think – we got a chance?  Signed Canine Lawn Care

Dear Canine Lawn Care – Hey, if you were in my hood, I would definitely hire you for sure my friends.  However you get the job done, that’s key in my book.  And once the ladies notice your working skills and the kibbles that you are bringing in, they will have to take numbers at your front door.  Be safe!


 Dear Bacon –  Look dude, it was a spider on the ground.  I don’t do spiders.  Nope, not at all.  And it was gigantic.  There was no way I was staying on the ground with that monster.  And those humans – they just walked around it like it was nothing.  They are the strangest people.  You afraid of those creepy crawlers too, right?  Signed Spastic

Dear Spastic – Let me get this right.  You are afraid of spiders but not height.  That’s amazing.  And what’s more amazing is that the humans are just walking by without a care not even paying you any attention.  WOW.  Too bad you can’t act like a bird and drop a little something if you know what I mean – snorts with piggy laughter.  I do understand your arachnophobia.  I myself don’t like the little pests with all of those legs either.  No one blames you for that.  Just be careful getting down off that limb okay bro.

 


Dear Bacon – Look at me – I’m a turtle.  Barks!  Okay maybe not a turtle.  Maybe a cute little pooch. Yep that’s who I am – a cute little pooch.  My human is always dressing me up different ways.  I say go for it because they always give me great treats in return.  Do your humans make you do anything stupid for treats?  Signed Michaelangelo

Dear Michaelangelo – Once my mom put me near a carton of eggs and took my picture.  She said I was the bacon and eggs in its original form.  I don’t get it but mom/dad got a great laugh out of it.  And like you as well – I got great treats.  So hey, if it doesn’t hurt us then I say wear it with pride.

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1 Comment

Posted by on 07/17/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20130601-011521.jpgDear Bacon – Just the facts little guy.  Nothing but the facts.  We’ve been watching too many repeats of the movies Men in Black.  Don’t ask me which is which.  We just like to dress like Kay and Jay.  You know, just for fun and giggles.  The neighborhood doesn’t know how to act when we roll into it – bark.  What do you think?  Do you like to dress up like any of your favorite guys?  Signed Kay/Jay

Dear Kay and Jay – Oh dudes – I love the look!  That is so neat.  I’ve seen those movies and ya’ll kind of look just like the two.  I think it’s the ties and sunglasses.  I would love to roam around in my costume too.  I secretly want to be a piggy super hero.  I keep asking mom to make me a cape.  I know with a cape, this little piggy would have special powers and be able to fly.  Stay cool barky things!


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Dear Bacon – This little pup couldn’t take it and fell asleep.  When I woke up, there was the hunny jar near me and I was passed out.  I don’t know what happened and I don’t know why it’s so funny.  The humans keep laughing.  Can you explain?  Signed Pup Dog

Dear Pup Dog – Snorts – it is kind of funny little man.  Your humans are really playing with you.  It’s cute.  You need to ask the humans to read you the story of Winnie the Pooh.  You look like Pooh.  He liked his hunny.  No, that’s wrong.  He LOVED his hunny.  Hey, I would keep the costume for Halloween.  You’ll get lots of candy!


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Dear Bacon – It doesn’t matter what kind of cat you are, we love boxes.  It’s that simple.  We will get in them and play with them.  I just wanted to let you know.  Signed Kitty Box

Dear Kitty Box – I’m not hating you on that.  I know the purr things here at the Hotel Thompson love to play with their boxes all of the time.  Mom/dad area always asking them why buy little purr thing presents when you can just give them the box.  Shrugs shoulders.  It’s a kitty thing.  I completely understand.  I tried to do the box thing too.  I didn’t get it.  I destroyed the box in less than five minutes.  Now that’s my fun time!  Enjoy the box my friend!


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Dear Bacon – I know the purr things like their boxes buy I prefer daddy’s guitar case.  While he plays, I crawl in there and the music puts me to sleep.  It’s actually more comfortable than it looks.  Does your human have a guitar case for you to try this?  Signed Squishy

Dear Squishy – You do look most uncomfortable.  I think I’m going to let you call this one and let you crawl in.  Dad does have a couple of cases but looking at this body, there is no way I will fit in there.  I don’t care how much I try.  Sleep on my friend!


20130601-011634.jpgDear Bacon – With summer comes doggy camp.  I thought I would snap this picture of all of us on the bus headed to camp for the week.  It’s a ball!  We get to do lots of neat things and have fun.  There really isn’t any time to miss the humans.  Do you get to go to camp?  Signed Campdoggers

Dear Campdoggers – That looks like so much fun!  As far as I get to camp is when I go to nana’s for a couple of days.  She always fattens me up so I can’t oink. 🙂  It’s fun and you know what they say.  What happens at nana’s, stays at nana’s!  Have fun at camp!

 

 
13 Comments

Posted by on 07/10/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon – I need some help.  My master continues to dress me in this silly outfit.  I’m not a big fan.  When I wear it and we go out on the town, everyone is really sociable though.

They always say, “Hello Kitty”.  They’re really nice about it.  I on the other hand just can’t stand the outfit and I don’t get it.  What can I do?  Signed – Purr in Distress

Dear Purr in Distress – You don’t get it do you… Hello Kitty?  Do you ever surf the net?  Do you ever google Hello Kitty?

You know what – go for it.  Wear it with pride.  You look really darling and I caught myself saying, “Hheelloo Kkiittyy.”


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Dear Bacon – See, I have talent too.  I love to ride my bicycle around our little village.  People see me rolling – they know I’m hip.  So it’s got training wheels – you gotta start somewhere and I love this thing.

You ever thought about riding a bicycle little pig?  Signed – Hip to the Hop

Dear Hip to the Hop – Have you looked at me lately?  My legs are a little challenged.  My front legs are shorter than my back legs.

My tushy is made for comfort not speed.  I’m not into exercise unless it involves putting food into my mouth.  But, hey more to you dude.  Ride it with pride!


20120722-211345.jpgDear Bacon – Every morning we get up and look at the window.  It’s our time to sit and reflect with each other.  Here lately, this stupid bird gets right in the window and puts his tail feathers in our faces.  What is up with that?!  What is this birds gone wild or something.  We are minding our own business and this chick has to do this?  What can we do?  Signed – Purr Things of Reflection

Dear Purr Things of Reflection –  You have to admit that’s kind of funny.  You know, I’m not saying ya’ll do, but a lot of purr things chase after birds.  Maybe this bird is “pigeonholing” ya’ll into one little category.  Thank you – I thought that was funny too.  Maybe try a different window in the house.  Maybe try ignoring the bird.  Reflect on my purr things and be the better kitty!


Dear Bacon – Every morning my adopted father comes out of the shower naked.  I can’t help to look like this every time I see him.  I mean, why would you shower naked?  I don’t take my fur off, do you?  Will this shocked look ever stop?  Signed – My Face May Freeze

Dear  My Face May Freeze – Hang in there little man.  Humans do weird things like that.  My mother likes to sit in the water full of bubbles in the dark with candles.  Now that is strange to me!  Seeing your parent without clothes is natural to them.  Be tough little guy.  It’ll become second nature to you soon.

 
9 Comments

Posted by on 07/03/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon – People come and see me at the zoo all of the time.  They take my picture and always say, “Smile”.  Well my friend, this is my happy face and I am actually smiling.  In fact in this picture that someone took of me, I am meditating.  I’m concentrating on thinking perhaps I am taking their pictures and they are posing.  What do you think?  Signed Happy Monkey

Dear Happy Monkey – I think you are thinking along the right path.  I tell you what.  I’m going to send you a camera so that you can do just that.  Take humans pictures when they try taking your picture. Can you imagine the look on their face when you tell them to smile?  Snorts!.


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Dear Bacon – Dude, what’s up?  I’m like feeling the nature man.  I’m rocking with the inspiration of Marley and others.  You know, keeping it real and much love to all.  Peace Bro.  Signed Bob

Dear Bob – WOW!  I feel the love all over my friend.  You keep rocking it and sharing it with everyone.  How could anyone not be happy with you?  You have to be the most even mannered pooch I’ve ever met – and the best dressed one to boot.  Peace, Love and Rock n Roll to you.  Keep it real and love to all.

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Dear Bacon – I have to admit that my ears usually are down but on this date I saw something so totally scary that those ears shot straight up and haven’t went back down yet.  I saw my humans naked… butt naked… without any clothes.  Oh my eyes!  Signed Pete

Dear Pete – I’m so sorry my friend.  I know it’s hard to get over that.  What has been seen can not be unseen now.  It does get better though.  After a while, it seems second nature and it doesn’t scare you as much.  I should know.  Daddy lives in naked world when mom is not here.  Rolls piggy eyes.  He says he cleans better.  Now that is a thought you can’t get out of your mind isn’t it?  Snorts with piggy laughter.


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Dear Bacon – I’m here to answer the ever lasting question – how do you make panda bears.  Well, as you can see from the picture you know have the answer – 🙂  You are so welcome.  Signed Pan Family

Dear Tongue – Oh my piggy heavens.  I have always wondered about that my friends and I’m sure others have as well.  Ya’ll are awesome to let us know the secret.  What a beautiful family you have there!

 
14 Comments

Posted by on 06/26/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon – I’ve been hiding most of the day from my brother.  I ate his breakfast.  There I admit it.  I ate his breakfast.  So what.  He snoozed and he lost.  Now though, I feel like he’s been stalking me all day.  Every time I turn around, I can feel him watching me.  He’s watching me right now isn’t he?  Signed Big Trouble

Dear Big Trouble – Oh my friend.  There are just certain things in life that we don’t do.  Eating your brother’s food is one of them.  There will be something to pay for this.  You might as well just push your bowl of kibbles his way tonight to make up for it.  Trust me, with the evil look he is giving you, it might be the right move.


 20131208-205614.jpgDear Bacon – There’s a standing rule in this house whether your are anipal or human, when one is sleeping you do not wake them.  I have to go wizzle.  I’ve had this strange feeling for a LONG time.  But, as you can see kitty is sleeping on me.  If I move, she will wake.  If I wake her, she will be in a bad mood.  So I wait with this pained look on my face.  Signed Helpless.

Dear Signed Helpless – I know the feeling my friend.  Well personally I don’t know the feeling but my mom knows the feeling.  She has been in your position numerous times with one of us in her arms.  Just keep your head up and those legs tight.


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Dear Bacon – Who says that humans can be the only ones with teddy bears.  Here is mine.  He’s my buddy.  We go every where together.  We are playing patty cakes here in the picture.  He’s slow in catching the patterns but he will learn.  Signed Bear Times Two

Dear Bear Times Two – Hey my friend.  Nobody can say anything bad about this.  It’s totally cute!  You always have a friend with you.  Keep teaching him the patty cake song – he might just catch on soon.  Did you see the movie Ted?  It could happen!

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Dear Bacon – What?  It was Curious George and I am Curious too.  I want to know what made George so Curious.  He was totally full of fluff – I knew it.  Nothing between those ears but white fluff.  Guess he won’t be curious much longer huh?  Signed Curious Too

Dear Curious Too – Now the world knows.  White fluff is what put Curious George together.  Hilarious.  Looks like he might need some reconstruction surgery there.  Does your house have a BooBoo Facility like here at the Hotel Thompson?  If so, get him in surgery STAT.


  Dear Bacon – Am I the only dog that has a snake for a sister? I mean, I know we both have the same body type but this doesn’t seem natural to me.  I don’t think we look alike at all.  I’m so confused and a little scared.  Signed Confused Dog Brother to a Snake

Dear Confused Dog Brother to a Snake – WOW!  First off, we need to talk about you my friend.  Wipe that scared look right off of your face.  Dude up right now.  You are a MAN doggy.  Ssnnaakkee – is a girl.  You need to set up your area – start marking your territory.  Don’t let her know that you are scared of her… because personally I would be too but we are men anipals.  Show no fear.  Then work your sister to your advantage.  Treat her as such.  Most men take care of their sisters.  And in turn, they take care of YOU.  Who in the neighborhood is going to mess with YOU now?  If they do, bring your sister along.  I can assure you, you will be king of your hood.  Now, off you go to make nice with your ssiisstteerr.  Let me know how things work out for you okay.

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REMEMBER my friends – these weekly Dear Bacon issues can’t happen without YOU.  Please email me your letters and pictures – thanks!  ❤

 
18 Comments

Posted by on 05/29/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon – I’m just being friendly.  That’s it.  Really I am.  He looked so lonely in the cage.  I just thought I would pop in to say hey and you know give him a reassuring pat of assurance from me.  That’s it.  Really.  Signed Felix the Friendly Kitty

Dear Felix the Friendly Kitty – Sure buddy.  Whatever you say.  Just remember though that the proof is now in pictures.  That means no mistakes in your friendly ‘pats of assurance’.  Just sayin’ my friend.


 20140111-200419.jpgDear Bacon – I’ve heard you come from a long line of football players.  We know not players per say but footballs themselves – Barks!  Well, we gotta game going in our hood all of the time.  Next time you are in the area, join us.  And don’t worry, we won’t deflate the ball at all.  Signed Peyton, Tom, Eli and Brady

 Dear Peyton, Tom, Eli and Brady – What guys you are.  Thanks for the invite and I will definitely keep that in mind.  Can’t wait for the football season to start this year!.


 20140111-200430.jpgDear Bacon – There was this pot that mom had on the porch.  She grows beautiful things in it.  So I was thinking that I’m a puppy and maybe for me to grow into something beautiful, I would pot myself.  I jumped in and added water.  Is it working yet?  Signed Puppy Flower

Dear Puppy Flower – I don’t really think that is how it happens my friend.  But on the other hoof, you look really cute in that bucket.  And hey you got a bath out of it too.  I say just be you.  You are going to grow up soon enough.  And remember one final thought buddy.  You are already beautiful.

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 20140111-200439.jpgDear Bacon – Sometimes no matter how small you are, one needs to draw the line.  The humans put me in a wine glass.  What.were.they.thinking?  A wine glass.  I’m not a wine glass kind of pup.  I think I’m more of an oversized coffee cup kind of pooch.  What do you think?  Signed Small Barks

Dear Small Barks – I have to say my friend, either way I think you are cute in either a wine glass or a coffee cup.  I think you should play it for everything it’s worth.  Make the humans pay in so many different ways – extra treats, extra puppy chow. .


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Dear Bacon – I have to say a puppy power nap is sometimes the best thing you can do.  I highly recommend them any time during the day or night.  Take notes from me pal.  Don’t forget your blankie and pillow.  Signed Sleepy Town

Dear Sleepy Town – WOW!  You are the posted child for a puppy power nap my friend.  I love it and trust me.  I am so taking notes!

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REMEMBER my friends – Dear Bacon issues can’t happen without YOU. Please remember to email me your picture and letters. 


 
12 Comments

Posted by on 05/22/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon – I gotta share my most funniest thing in the entire house to do.  Hang off of this magical roll of fluff!  Meows – it’s the bestest!  Have you ever tried this?  Signed Kitty Roll

Dear Kitty Roll – Snorts!  Looks down at my pot belly.  Nope.  Can’t say that I’ve ever done that before in my life.  For some reason, I don’t think this pot belly would allow it.  But you are right about one thing my friend.  That is a magical roll for the humans.  They love it!

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 20140111-200303.jpgDear Bacon – I think everyone should show their colors and heritage.  This is me and my garb.  What do you think?  Signed Scotty

Dear Scotty – Dude, I think you look righteous in your outfit!  In fact, I could say that you rock!  I’ve gotta research my history and see what my ancestry is like.  Of course, whatever I find will look nothing like you.  You are gorgeous!

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Dear Bacon – There we were in the parking lot of the local Petsmart.  Mavis bet me that I wouldn’t go in the store.  Well, I showed her.  I went into the store, said hey to the cashier who gave me a biscuit and left.  Easy as pie.  Okay, maybe not.  Maybe I took more than one cookie and maybe I left a little drizzle from the excitement.  Regardless I’m a bad boy.  Signed Bad Boy

Dear Bad Boy – WOW!  So that was you I heard squealing out of the local Petsmart parking lot.  Next time remember – sometimes one has to look like a regular guy to get away.  No speeding my friend.  You may hurt someone..


 20140111-200325.jpgDear Bacon – I’m the top champion of the hide and go seek series in our area.  I thought I would share this picture that made me top dog.  Signed See Me if You Can

Dear See Me if You Can –  Oh my goodness my friend. You are the world’s best at hide and go seek.  I wonder if you can teach me some of your tricks.  They are awesome!

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Dear Bacon – My humans will get pay back from this outrageously stupid shirt they have placed on me.  I am not fat.  I am fluffy.  There is a difference.  Oh wait – is that food I hear hitting my bowl… gotta walk fast to it.  Talk Later.  Signed Puss in Shirt

Dear Puss in Shirt – Oh my.  Fat – nah.  Fluffy – sure.  Houdini goes through that all of time.  Extra fur well it does make you fluffy.  I see that.  Now you enjoying a little too much food – looks down at my pot belly – I can see that too from my prospective.  All of the time.  I say hey if it’s not broken, there’s no need to fix it.  As far as your human goes, pay back can be made… I’m sure you can come up with something.  A strategically placed fur ball in one’s human shoe comes to mind 🙂

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REMEMBER friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please be sure to email me your letters and pictures.

 
7 Comments

Posted by on 05/15/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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