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Dear Bacon

20121106-070748.jpgDear Bacon,

This is my scary pose.  Does it work?  I’m trying it out on different people but all they do is laugh.  What am I doing wrong?  Signed Vicious

Dear Vicious,

I hate to say it little fellow but that is so not scary.  The only thing scary in that pose are those huge claws – now that’s scary.  You doing that pose – I just want to tickle that little belly.  I’m sure as you get older, that pose may have more of an impact.  Right now though, you’re just a cute little thing… especially with that sunlight shining on you.  Maybe lose the pose and learn to bristle up that fur a bit.  That might be scary.  Let me know my friend.


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Dear Bacon,

I need some help.  I’m not sure what is going on.  Everyone that sees me starts singing some theme song of Star Wars.  I don’t get it.  Signed Ewok

Dear Ewok,

You don’t get out much do you?  You  need to go through your master’s video collection and find one marked Star Wars.  Watch it.  Watch it closely my friend and see if you notice anything in that movie that you’ve seen before…anything that looks familiar…. anything that maybe has the same name as you.  Love the look!


 

20121106-070855.jpgDear Bacon,

I get picked on all of the time.  You’re slow they say.  I can run faster than you they say.  You’re slower than creek water running down stream they say.  Well, I have found the light and the answer!  These days, I just use my handy dandy skate board.  What do you think?  Signed Tony “Tortoise” Hawk

Dear Tony “Tortoise” Hawk

I think you look fantastic little man!  What an awesome idea that you came up with.  Can’t wait to see you television racing the big guys!  Be safe!


20121106-070939.jpgDear Bacon,

Those pesky cats in the neighborhood were running through the trees.  I thought I would chase them.  You know, just to keep up their exercise.  They got me stuck between two trees.  Have you ever seen such misery?  Signed Woody

Dear Woody,

I would not have believed it if you didn’t send a picture to me.  WOW – you are stuck between two trunks and a hard place.  Hope you got unstuck fast.  Don’t be too hard on those purr things.


20121106-071118.jpgDear Bacon,

This is us, the TMNT, in the early days.  Even then we had style.  Never give up man and always dream big – it can happen to you like it did to us.  Signed Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello

Dear TMNT,

Love you guys!  Mom said that you are making another come back.  I’ve watched some shows from the past.  I would love to be like ya’ll – can you use a pig in the mix?  I want a cool name too – just like ya’lls.  Keep safe and live prosper my new friends!

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Posted by on November 21, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Thanksgiving Funny – Turkey Pick Up Lines

 
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Posted by on November 17, 2017 in Bacon

 

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Beware of Black Friday

I know Fridays. I live for them every week. Fridays mean that mommy will be home for the next couple of days. Fridays mean I get to stay up late and watch television with mom and dad. Fridays sometimes even mean popcorn while watching b-rated movies on the Sy-Fy channel.

But, I’ve never heard of this Black Friday. It has to be bad. I say this for a couple of reasons. First, when mommy told daddy he would have to “survive” this day, daddy stopped laughing. Heck, for a minute I thought he was going to cry. He kept saying, “But, but, but”. Mommy didn’t listen to him. Second of all, you know something is bad when mommy laughs like the wicked witch from the east. Ooh shivers just hearing that in my head.

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So this Black Friday thing, what can it be? Is it dark as black outside all day and it’s a Friday this Black Friday? Is it a plague or disease? Did someone not pay the light bill? Is it the end of days? Should I start stock piling my piggy chow in my bedroom? I’ll admit that this little piggy was scared.

I did what I do best. I squealed, ran to my bedroom and slammed my door. I then immediately started doing some research on my laptop.

ODP (oh dear piggies). It’s worse than what I thought! Did you know that the day after Thanksgiving in the USA, they call it Black Friday? Here’s the scary part. People get up voluntarily at 0400 hours to camp outside of stores to go shopping!. Thud – piggy down! 0400 hours is like way before even Old McDonald gets up at the farm. It’s before the birds start chirping. It’s before they even make the doughnuts at the Krispy Kreme. Heck, it’s before *I* even stir in my toddler bed. That’s early!

Mommy is going to make daddy go shopping with her on Black Friday at 0400 hours. Two words mom. How uncivilized. I can’t believe mom is going to get up before the break of dawn. But friends, don’t feel too sorry for daddy. I saw him the garage laughing and getting “ready” for Black Friday. He was pulling out his old pads from his football days. I think I even saw him with a hockey stick and a helmet. Oohh mommy – who is punishing who now? Snorts.

 
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Posted by on November 16, 2017 in Bacon

 

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Thanksgiving Funny – Favorite Show

Something tells me that this show is going to have a really bad ending – snorts.

 
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Posted by on November 15, 2017 in Bacon

 

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Travels in the South

What is this you ask my friends? Mom called it heaven on earth.  Mom/dad found this delicacy way before mom’s surgery. It’s fried Twinkies.  Yep – you read right.  Fried Twinkies.  And when they fry the Twinkie, it makes the white cream even creamier.  Dad loves them.  Have you ever tried them?

 
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Posted by on November 15, 2017 in Mom/Dad's Food Porn, Travels Around the World

 

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Thanksgiving Funny – Stealth Survival

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Posted by on November 14, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Dear Bacon

20121120-062013.jpg
Dear Bacon,
Spiders eeww.  Nobody likes them man.  I’m sorry little dude.  I saw one on the floor.  It was huge.  There was no other place to go.  The evil thing was in the doorway threatening my manhood.  I jumped on the first thing I could to get away from it.  Sink be it.  This is how my master found me.  This doesn’t make me less of a dog does it?  My fear of spiders?  Signed Sweetness

Dear Sweetness,

Well, it might take you down a couple of notches.  You’re name my take you down a few more.  You are my fellow friend are a dog.  A big dog at that.  You could have easily walked over that little spider and saved you some grace.  Unless that spider is as big as you, you are the bigger person.  Start dogging up.


 

20121120-062145.jpgDear Bacon,
Hey dude.  I read your blog all of the time.  I see people talking about yoga and I’ve seen some of the positions.  I gotta lot of stress in my life.  I thought I would try it.  WOW – it works great!  This is my zen trunk position.  It took me a long time to get the balancing together but it’s great now.  Have you tried it yet??  Signed Stingphant

Dear Stingphant,

That’s amazing!  I’m going to have to try some of these positions in my room when no one is looking, especially that Hemi.  It helps out in stress huh?  I really don’t have that much stress but I think over the holidays I’m going to try it.  I’ll keep you posted.


 

20121120-062543.jpgDear Bacon,
Who says zebras can’t be fast?  I’m tired of being the underzebra in the bush getting chased all of the time. I bought me a bike and it is the bomb!  Those pesky little cats can’t catch me anymore.  Whatcha think?  Signed Einstein

Dear Einstein,

I’m amazed!  First of all, you have the talent to ride a bike.  Second of all, I would have never thought about doing that to escape the cat.  But I do have a question.  How are you going to feel that thing up with gas when it runs out?  Just a thought to think about.  Stay safe my striped friend!


20121120-062701.jpgDear Bacon,
I love the water.  I just can’t get enough of it.  My favorite sport is water skiing.  Everyone said that due to my size that I would never be able to participate.  Well, I proofed them wrong.  Don’t let anyone say that you can’t do something.  You can.  Signed Geoffrey

Dear Geoffrey,

I’ve got to admit that if you can do that, I can do some of the things that I want to do in my life.  There’s nothing that can hold us back.  Thank you so much for the inspiration!


20121120-062807.jpgOkay pig –

You think *you* have problems with those pesky purr things.  I have problems.  My master has pet mice.  You know where I’m going.  You can’t eat the pets.  But this, this is taking things a little too far and asking me too much.  What am I to do?  Signed Heathcliff

Dear Heathcliff,

WOW – mom does walk around telling me not to eat the cats.  I don’t.  I may tug on their tails a little but it’s all out of love.  But mice hanging around the head.  Oh buddy, there’s got to be a line somewhere and that’s pushing it.  You might need to leave the room when the master has those play things out wondering around.  I can hold back a lot but that – no way!  Be strong!

 
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Posted by on November 14, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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