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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,
They say that we can all stand on our heads. I don’t know. I think I may be vertically challenged or maybe my head is not flat enough. I just can’t seem to be able to do it all the way with my back legs straight up. It throws me off balance. Can you do it? Signed Not Happening

Dear Not Happening,
Never dear friend. Sometimes we are just not built to do these weird things that you see the humans partake. I can’t stand on my head. This pot belly of mine knocks me off center every time. And my mom, even though she’s human, she can’t do it either. Don’t try to be like everyone else. Make your own path and be happy – leave the sitting to your bottom.


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Dear Bacon,
There’s always that one idiot that has to pop in your picture. Can you relate? I was minding my own business in this shot. I just wanted it to look halfway decent to post on my Pet Harmony dating profile. Signed Available

Dear Available,
Yep. I know exactly what you are talking about. Hemi, the purr thing here at the Hotel Thompson, thinks he should be in every camera shot. He is always photo bombing my pictures. Just keep smiling. Pay back can really be tortuous for our sidekicks. Right? Maybe sign up your friend as well on Pet Harmony and post his picture – of course with your picture cropped out. Snort giggles.


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Dear Bacon,
It’s a wonderful thing to have such great friends. Out in the pasture, sometimes I just get tuckered out. That’s my good buddy will help me out and let me take a nap. Isn’t that nice of him? Signed Sleepy on the Road

Dear Sleepy on the Road,
That is an excellent friend. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen that kind of friendship before. You are most definitely one lucky little guy!


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Dear Bacon,
I coach a soccer team on the weekends. We are always looking for a few new team players. You ever think about playing? I’ve heard that snout of yours can be classified as a deadly weapon.

We could use a player like you. What do you say? Signed Coach Jones of Team Anipals

Dear Coach Jones of Team Anipals,

That sounds like a great deal of fun. I’m In to give it a shot. This snout is very wicked and these hooves are very fast!!


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Dear Bacon,
I think I need some anti wrinkle cream. Every time I wake up, I have more wrinkles! Soon, you’ll just see one giant sloppy dog. What can a pooch do? Please help. Signed Wrinkles

Dear Wrinkles,
As Lady Gaga once said, “Just put your paws up, Cause you were born this way, baby”. Embrace the way you are and don’t try to fight it my friend. Be happy in your own wrinkles.

 

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8 Comments

Posted by on 08/14/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,
What? Don’t hate. You know you want a hat just like mine so you can play outside with it. Right? Signed Scooter

Dear Scooter,

Yeah, sure. I would absolutely LOVE to have a hat like yours to wear outside and make the funny thing on top go around and around Maybe if it was real windy, I could fly. I like the sound of that! So, yes two please my friend ūüôā


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Dear Bacon,
This is just me telling my friends on how to get more seed and nuts from the humans. Any suggestions for us? Signed Cute as Can Be

Dear Cute as Can Be,

Well you can also take tips from Journalist Rocky the Squirrel. He knocks on our back door frequently asking for a cup of nuts for him and his family. Mom even throws leftover bread out to them to help them out. You know, you do what you have to do. This economy has hit us all! Take care my friends. If you are ever near the Hotel Thompson, knock on the back door. ūüôā


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Dear Bacon,
I’ve read about your adventures in your magical back yard. Now this is what *I* consider a magical back yard… with drink in hand! You’re mom promised you a pool. Make her pay up pal. Signed Simple Puss

Dear Simple Puss,

I like the way you think my friend! My mommy made a lot of promises to get me outside. Although its only happened once so far, I think I need to make her pay up with one of the promises being a pool. Do you think I would be pushing it to be able to lay in a chair with a drink and food like you have?


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Dear Bacon,
I love to play music. I can bang that keyboard with the best of them. This is me practicing, “Unleashed Melody”. It’s a sad and soothing song to us pooches. Have you ever heard of it? Do you play any musical instruments? Signed Wolfgang Pooch

Dear Wolfgang Pooch,

You do have some talent – way to go my talented young friend. I haven’t heard of that song yet but I will be sure to Google it on the internet and listen to it. I know it has to be amazing! As for this little piglet’s talent. Let me see…. I’m thinking…. mommy says I rip some good ones… but I don’t think she’s referring to a musical instrument for some reason ūüôā I’ll keep thinking about that answer. Take care and maybe we shall see you soon in the Hollywood lights!


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Dear Bacon,

Don’t even say it. I know – I know. Yo Quiero Taco Bell. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s really funny. Ha Ha. My humans think it’s funny to dress me up as a taco. How would they like it if I dressed them up like a hot dog? BOL (Barking out loud)! Signed TB

Dear TB,

First off, tell me they didn’t name you Taco Bell – TB for short. Now that would be funny. Oh, I’m sorry. But look on the other hand. You are cute. AND, I bet if they took you to a Taco Bell in the drive thru, you would get free food. Free food – that’s good, isn’t it? Be proud little guy. Wear it with pride.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on 08/07/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20140330-184102.jpgDear Bacon –¬†If it’s good enough to put the crying thing in to settle them down, why can’t I get in it too? ¬†It seems like the screaming miniature human gets a lot of attention in this contraption. ¬†I don’t seem to be getting the same kind. ¬†Why? ¬†Can you explain that to me? ¬†Signed Dogsad

Dear Dogsad –¬†Aaww – you poor thing. ¬†I’m really sorry that you feel left out. ¬†I really am. ¬†Right now though, your humans are going through a lot with the small human. ¬†This will pass when they don’t have to be so fussy with them. ¬†You just be patient and stay cute my friend.


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¬†Dear Bacon –¬†This means WAR! ¬†There I was hanging out on the sofa after a really rough day of chasing the mailman and squirrels. ¬†I was minding my own business, had my feet popped up and was enjoying a nice glass of 2012 Francis Ford Coppola Pinot Noir. ¬†Then the lights started flashing. ¬†My dad took this picture of me and put it all over the internet – he’s even talking about Christmas cards?! ¬†I will be ruined! ¬†What can I do? ¬†Signed Sparky

Dear Sparky –¬†Give me a second friend… snorts and squeals ridiculously loud in a paper bag. ¬†Okay, I’m back. ¬†Breathes in to get my bearing. ¬†What you need to do Sparky is get a hold of that camera. ¬†Delete the picture is tops. ¬†Then you need to get on the human’s computer and start deleting. ¬†I would wait until the humans all asleep and then pounce into action.


20140330-184124.jpgDear Bacon –

If you’re happy and you know it, throw your hooves in the air. ¬†If you’re happy and you know it, look so cute. ¬†If you’re happy and you know it then your face will surely show it. ¬†If you’re happy and you know it, throw your hooves in the air! ¬†Signed Cute as a Lamb

Dear Cute as a Lamb –

¬†I’m off now to throw my hooves up in the air! ¬†You look as adorable as well me! ¬†Have a great one my friend and thanks for sharing!

‚̧


20140330-184139.jpgDear Bacon –¬†When the humans asked me if I wanted a pancake and I said yes, this is not what I meant. ¬†I wanted a pancake to eat not wear. ¬†What in the world were they thinking?! ¬†Signed Panbunny

Dear Panbunny –¬†I could teach you a trick with that pancake sitting on your head my friend. ¬†My daddy taught me how to flip it off of my head and into my mouth. ¬†You can do it – I know you can!

Happy eats.


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Dear Bacon –¬†SQUEAL! ¬†Look what I made! ¬†Mini-me’s! ¬†Aren’t they just too cute?! ¬†Signed Surprised

 

Dear Surprised –¬†They are totally adorable my friend!! ¬†So very cute. ¬†They look just like you… well except for the bright eyed, bushy tailed, surprise look – snorts.

.

.

 
9 Comments

Posted by on 07/31/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m not sure about you but my accountant really bites. ¬†He’s got a bad attitude and is always thinking numbers. ¬†I don’t get it. ¬†Why can’t accountants have pleasant personalities – maybe joke around a bit. ¬†I think that would really show a better enthusiasm for their job. ¬†I mean we are talking about my money, it may not be a lot but it is mine. ¬†I thought I would show you a pic of my guy. ¬†I have to admit though, he’s good. ¬†He chomps down and sets to work on that keyboard. ¬†He looks for everything he can find to deduct. ¬†If you ever need a good accountant, let me know okay. ¬†Signed Frogger

Dear Frogger – Well my, my, my. ¬†Your ‘guy’ does look very – how can I say it – professional in what he does. I see what you mean by his serious look. ¬†He does have a stern don’t mess with me kind of disposition. ¬†Maybe the numbers bring it out in him? ¬†Maybe bring him a gift next time – some swamp water or some Lubriderm lotion. ¬†I’ve heard that lotion does wonders for tough skin.


Dear Bacon – ¬†My favorite time of the day is in this picture. ¬†It’s early morning and it’s breakfast time! ¬†They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. ¬†Trust me. ¬†It is. ¬†And you know what. ¬†Milk does a body good. ¬†My little legs will grow strong and my ‘moo’ will be coming out soon. ¬†Cause you know what they say? ¬†You got to moo-moo it. ¬†HA! ¬†I made a funny. ¬†I told you breakfast is important – it starts my day like awesome. ¬†Signed Tina

Dear Tina – Shaking my head. ¬†You are right. ¬†Breakfast is very important not to miss in starting your day. ¬†That’s why every day, I start off with my piggy chow and Cheerios. ¬†I gotta keep my figure in check and my cholesterol down. ¬†This piggy has places to travel!

 

 


Dear Bacon ¬†– Don’t you hate it when uninvited solicitors show up at your door? ¬†Take for instance, I was settled down reading my magazines and newspaper. ¬†You know the typical Sunday leisure day. ¬†Then Bob showed up selling God only knows what. ¬†I told him I wasn’t interested in and he kept on roaring. ¬†How rude! ¬†I finally just had to turn and walk away. ¬†Maybe he got the hint then. ¬†Geez, some anipals huh? ¬†Signed Tigger

Dear Tigger – Please don’t send Bob my way. ¬†It’s bad enough when solicitors come into our hood. ¬†They don’t even come to our crib anymore. ¬†Too many times they have showed up and after seeing moi answer the door, they got scared and turned away. ¬†I don’t get it. ¬†I was just in the doorway with daddy answering the door. ¬†Who cares that he was wearing his Sponge Bob underwear. ¬†Shakes head.


 

Dear Bacon – Be glad that you don’t have a desk job little piggy. ¬†In this picture, it was a Friday at 4:45 pm – almost time for the weekend to start. ¬†The head guy showed up in my doorway and wanted a report that was going to take at least an hour to finish and he needed it that night. ¬†WTD? ¬†Really? ¬†You waited all day to tell me this at 4:45 pm? ¬†Shakes dog head – some people have no tact. ¬†Signed Bruiser

Dear Bruiser – OMP! ¬†I so understand. ¬†Mom has been done this way a time or two. ¬†I’ll tell you what I tell her when she calls and tells us she is going to be late. ¬†It sucks and it’s unfair! ¬†I hope you got some overtime for staying over my friend.

 
25 Comments

Posted by on 07/24/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m getting too old to be the party dog in the crowd. ¬†My friends are trying to have an intervention with me and took this picture. ¬†I really didn’t think I had gotten that bad but pictures don’t lie, right? ¬†Between the beer and the shots of tequila, I was out for the night. ¬†I guess it’s time for me to reach out for help. ¬†What do you suggest? ¬†Signed Boozer

Dear Boozer РYou are right my little friend.  Admission is the first step and you have taken that step in the right direction.  There are group meetings that you can attend in your area with AAA (Anipal Alcoholic Anonymous).  Make that phone call my friend and good luck with your recovery.


Dear Bacon – The big thing right now is to Netflix and chill. ¬†I’m all for it. ¬†This is me watching my favorite movie¬†Willard. ¬†If you haven’t seen it, you must watch it. ¬†It’s amazing. ¬†And of course no movie is perfect without the snack of some cheese. ¬†What’s your favorite movie to chill? ¬†Signed Will Jr

Dear Will Jr РWell my friend.  I looked up your movie.  It is what shall I say intriguing for sure.  My favorite movie lately is My Brother the Pig.  This is also an amazing movie.  And I like to watch it with snacks as well Рmy favorite is popcorn.  You keep chilling little guy!

 

 


Dear Bacon – Cheap labor. ¬†That’s what I call this. ¬†Our human has a lawn service and dude he puts us to work for kibbles. ¬†We all have our assigned duties from leaf blower, raking and working the riding lawn mower. ¬†It’s unheard of but it does make for some interesting looks when the humans drive by. ¬†I’m hoping that one of the neighborhood ladies will take notice of our skills. ¬†What do you think – we got a chance? ¬†Signed Canine Lawn Care

Dear Canine Lawn Care – Hey, if you were in my hood, I would definitely hire you for sure my friends. ¬†However you get the job done, that’s key in my book. ¬†And once the ladies notice your working skills and the kibbles that you are bringing in, they will have to take numbers at your front door. ¬†Be safe!


¬†Dear Bacon – ¬†Look dude, it was a spider on the ground. ¬†I don’t do spiders. ¬†Nope, not at all. ¬†And it was gigantic. ¬†There was no way I was staying on the ground with that monster. ¬†And those humans – they just walked around it like it was nothing. ¬†They are the strangest people. ¬†You afraid of those creepy crawlers too, right? ¬†Signed Spastic

Dear Spastic – Let me get this right. ¬†You are afraid of spiders but not height. ¬†That’s amazing. ¬†And what’s more amazing is that the humans are just walking by without a care not even paying you any attention. ¬†WOW. ¬†Too bad you can’t act like a bird and drop a little something if you know what I mean – snorts with piggy laughter. ¬†I do understand your arachnophobia. ¬†I myself don’t like the little pests with all of those legs either. ¬†No one blames you for that. ¬†Just be careful getting down off that limb okay bro.

 


Dear Bacon – Look at me – I’m a turtle. ¬†Barks! ¬†Okay maybe not a turtle. ¬†Maybe a cute little pooch. Yep that’s who I am – a cute little pooch. ¬†My human is always dressing me up different ways. ¬†I say go for it because they always give me great treats in return. ¬†Do your humans make you do anything stupid for treats? ¬†Signed Michaelangelo

Dear Michaelangelo – Once my mom put me near a carton of eggs and took my picture. ¬†She said I was the bacon and eggs in its original form. ¬†I don’t get it but mom/dad got a great laugh out of it. ¬†And like you as well – I got great treats. ¬†So hey, if it doesn’t hurt us then I say wear it with pride.

 
11 Comments

Posted by on 07/17/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20130601-011521.jpgDear Bacon –¬†Just the facts little guy.¬† Nothing but the facts.¬† We’ve been watching too many repeats of the movies Men in Black.¬† Don’t ask me which is which.¬† We just like to dress like Kay and Jay.¬† You know, just for fun and giggles.¬† The neighborhood doesn’t know how to act when we roll into it – bark.¬† What do you think?¬† Do you like to dress up like any of your favorite guys?¬† Signed Kay/Jay

Dear Kay and Jay –¬†Oh dudes – I love the look!¬† That is so neat.¬† I’ve seen those movies and ya’ll kind of look just like the two.¬† I think it’s the ties and sunglasses.¬† I would love to roam around in my costume too.¬† I secretly want to be a piggy super hero.¬† I keep asking mom to make me a cape.¬† I know with a cape, this little piggy would have special powers and be able to fly.¬† Stay cool barky things!


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Dear Bacon –¬†This little pup couldn’t take it and fell asleep.¬† When I woke up, there was the hunny jar near me and I was passed out.¬† I don’t know what happened and I don’t know why it’s so funny.¬† The humans keep laughing.¬† Can you explain?¬† Signed Pup Dog

Dear Pup Dog –¬†Snorts – it is kind of funny little man.¬† Your humans are really playing with you.¬† It’s cute.¬† You need to ask the humans to read you the story of Winnie the Pooh.¬† You look like Pooh.¬† He liked his hunny.¬† No, that’s wrong.¬† He LOVED his hunny.¬† Hey, I would keep the costume for Halloween.¬† You’ll get lots of candy!


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Dear Bacon –¬†It doesn’t matter what kind of cat you are, we love boxes.¬† It’s that simple.¬† We will get in them and play with them.¬† I just wanted to let you know.¬† Signed Kitty Box

Dear Kitty Box –¬†I’m not hating you on that.¬† I know the purr things here at the Hotel Thompson love to play with their boxes all of the time.¬† Mom/dad area always asking them why buy little purr thing presents when you can just give them the box.¬† Shrugs shoulders.¬† It’s a kitty thing.¬† I completely understand.¬† I tried to do the box thing too.¬† I didn’t get it.¬† I destroyed the box in less than five minutes.¬† Now that’s my fun time!¬† Enjoy the box my friend!


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Dear Bacon –¬†I know the purr things like their boxes buy I prefer daddy’s guitar case.¬† While he plays, I crawl in there and the music puts me to sleep.¬† It’s actually more comfortable than it looks.¬† Does your human have a guitar case for you to try this?¬† Signed Squishy

Dear Squishy –¬†You do look most uncomfortable.¬† I think I’m going to let you call this one and let you crawl in.¬† Dad does have a couple of cases but looking at this body, there is no way I will fit in there.¬† I don’t care how much I try.¬† Sleep on my friend!


20130601-011634.jpgDear Bacon –¬†With summer comes doggy camp.¬† I thought I would snap this picture of all of us on the bus headed to camp for the week.¬† It’s a ball!¬† We get to do lots of neat things and have fun.¬† There really isn’t any time to miss the humans.¬† Do you get to go to camp?¬† Signed Campdoggers

Dear Campdoggers –¬†That looks like so much fun!¬† As far as I get to camp is when I go to nana’s for a couple of days.¬† She always fattens me up so I can’t oink.¬†ūüôā¬† It’s fun and you know what they say.¬† What happens at nana’s, stays at nana’s!¬† Have fun at camp!

 

 
13 Comments

Posted by on 07/10/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon –¬†I need some help.¬† My master continues to dress me in this silly outfit.¬† I’m not a big fan.¬† When I wear it and¬†we go out on the town, everyone is really sociable though.

They always say, “Hello Kitty”.¬† They’re really nice about it.¬† I on the other hand just can’t stand the outfit and I don’t get it.¬† What can I do?¬† Signed – Purr in Distress

Dear Purr in Distress –¬†You don’t get it do you… Hello Kitty?¬† Do you ever surf the net?¬† Do you ever google Hello Kitty?

You know what – go for it.¬† Wear it with pride.¬† You look really darling and I caught myself saying, “Hheelloo Kkiittyy.”


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Dear Bacon –¬†See, I have talent too.¬† I love to ride my bicycle around our little village.¬† People see me rolling – they know I’m hip.¬† So it’s got training wheels – you gotta start somewhere and I love this thing.

You ever thought about riding a bicycle little pig?  Signed РHip to the Hop

Dear Hip to the Hop –¬†Have you looked at me lately?¬† My legs are a little challenged.¬† My front legs are shorter than my back legs.

My tushy is made for comfort not speed.¬† I’m not into exercise unless it involves putting food into my mouth.¬† But, hey more to you dude.¬† Ride it with pride!


20120722-211345.jpgDear Bacon –¬†Every morning we get up and look at the window.¬† It’s our time to sit and reflect with each other.¬† Here lately, this stupid bird gets right in the window and puts his tail feathers in our faces.¬† What is up with that?!¬† What is this birds gone wild or something.¬† We are minding our own business and this chick has to do this?¬† What can we do?¬† Signed – Purr Things of Reflection

Dear Purr Things of Reflection –¬†¬†You have to admit that’s kind of funny.¬† You know, I’m not saying ya’ll do, but a lot of purr things chase after birds.¬† Maybe this bird is “pigeonholing” ya’ll into one little category.¬† Thank you – I thought that was funny too.¬† Maybe try a different window in the house.¬† Maybe try ignoring the bird.¬† Reflect on my purr things and be the better kitty!


Dear Bacon –¬†Every morning my adopted father comes out of the shower naked.¬† I can’t help to look like this every time I see him.¬† I mean, why would you shower naked?¬† I don’t take my fur off, do you?¬† Will this shocked look ever stop?¬† Signed – My Face May Freeze

Dear¬† My Face May Freeze –¬†Hang in there little man.¬† Humans do weird things like that.¬† My mother likes to sit in the water full of bubbles in the dark with candles.¬† Now that is strange to me!¬† Seeing your parent without clothes is natural to them.¬† Be tough little guy.¬† It’ll become second nature to you soon.

 
9 Comments

Posted by on 07/03/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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