Ask a Stupid Question Day

  Journalist Rocky the Squirrel here –

Keeping my paws on the nuts of the world!

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Today, September 28th is an awesome day.  It’s Ask a Stupid Question Day.  Finally a day that we can ask all of those silly questions and not have anyone look at us a strange way.  Speak up my followers – ask all of those questions you were afraid to ask today that you have been wondering about all year long.

 I interviewed the occupants here at the Hotel Thompson.  They came up with some great questions that I’m going to share.  They’ll start so you can feel better about your questions.  Remember no one is going to laugh at your question – maybe the answer but not the question – chitter chatter

“Why is Grape Nuts cereal called Grape Nuts when it has neither grapes or nuts?”

“If the Professor on Gilligan’s Island could make a radio out of a coconut, why couldn’t he fix a small hole in the side of the boat?”

“Why does Goofy always stand up on two legs yet Pluto remains on all four legs?  Aren’t they both dogs?”

“Why do banks leave their doors wide open but chain their pens to the counter?”

“How come when the battery goes dead on the television remote, you think it will work if you press the buttons harder?”

“If a cat always lands on its feet and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of the cat?”

“What color would a Smurf turn if you choked it?”

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I overheard my dad telling mom last night that he was going camping this weekend.  I love camping.  There’s just something about the woods with all of those trees and marking my territory.  I get excited just thinking about it – oops I almost wet myself.  Anyway, I wanted to be ready when my dad got up this morning.  Do you think I’m dressed appropriately for the woods?  Signed Camper in Training

Dear Camper in Training – Oh my friend.  I think you will have  a blast in the woods with all of those trees.  And look at you!  I think you are more than appropriate.  You look like you belong in the woods making trails.  Yes you do.  I hope you have a blast and one thing.  Be careful of the sticks on the ground that wiggle.

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Dear Bacon – This  has been a huge day for me!  First I met my new parents who seem pretty cool to tell you the truth.  Then they took me to this awesome store where they had everything… and I do mean everything!  They bought me food and treats and even fitted me for a cute little jacket in case it gets cold outside.  I didn’t think it fit too good in my arms but my humans said that I would grow into it.  Have you ever been to this store that has everything?  Signed Barks and Cuddles

Dear Barks and Cuddles – Look at you!!  Squeals with cuteness.  Never fear, you will grow into your little jacket.  And hey that jacket looks adorable on you.  I just love seeing your little tail peeking out below the bottom – too cute!  And this store you speak of, yes we have one close by the Hotel Thompson.  Mom/dad have taken me in the past as well as Houdini. It has everything that any anipal can imagine.  It’s such a fun place to explore for sure.  Now you take care of yourself little guy and keep us posted on your growing rate.

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Dear Bacon – It’s a hard job keeping one’s self in kibbles and treats.  You see I’m a fashion pup model.  I advertise a lot of times for doggy products.  On this date, I was pushing shampoo products as well as supporting dogs who bathe.  Can you believe that there are dogs out there that never take a bath?  The horror in that!  I just can’t imagine not taking care of one’s personal hygiene.  So, I have to ask my friend.  What kind of shampoo do you use?  Signed Pup Model

Dear Pup Model – Now that is a career!  Look at you my friend.  You do have the legs to be an awesome model for sure.  I use a shampoo made specifically for farm anipals.  I know it doesn’t sound wonderful but it’s awesome on my piggy Mohawk and keeps my bristles less irritating to mom’s bare skin around her ankles.  What we do for our humans, right?  You keep on being the star you are sweet friend.  Happy Bubble Bath!

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Dear Bacon – I think I’ve made a grave mistake.  You see my dad was taking some medicine and dropped a pill.  I thought it was cool to play with the pill but accidentally swallowed it.  I then saw this snake on the floor and have been holding it for hours watching it to make sure it doesn’t get loose in the hacienda.  The things we do to protect our humans.  Who knows how long this snake has been wiggling around here.  It could have bit someone!  Signed Snake Watcher

Dear Snake Watcher – Oh no my friend!  You might want to not swallow any more pills in the future.  Hopefully this pill will wear off really soon.  I’m not sure what it was – hopefully nothing too much harmful than what it already is.  I mean, catching live snakes in your house – that pill had to be something wicked.  You might just want to go chill for a while.  Perhaps take a nap and it’s okay to let that snake go.  I bet you won’t even find that snake when you wake up.  It’s okay – you’re safe.  Not walk away from the snake and sleep my friend.

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Dear Bacon – I don’t get it.  It was raining outside so my dad put my raincoat on before I went outside.  My raincoat is new and I love it because nothing on me gets wet – you can’t see my rain boots underneath it.  Well me and dad are walking outside and people keep looking, pointing and laughing.  I don’t get it.  What’s so funny?  Signed Sluggo

Dear Sluggo – First up, tell me that’s not your name.  Really? Second up, I don’t think they are laughing or pointing at you.  Nope.  No way.  You are way too cute my friend.  I think they are looking, pointing and laughing at your human.  Humans are weird like that.  You just keep on walking and don’t mind them at all.  Just be careful of salt on the streets okay.

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❤ Don’t forget my friends to keep emailing me your letters/pictures coming for Dear Bacon submissions.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU! ❤

 

Jokes with Anipals

 

Ask a Stupid Question Day

 

 Journalist Rocky the Squirrel here –

Keeping my paws on the nuts of the world!

 .

Today, September 28th, is an awesome day.  It’s Ask a Stupid Question Day.  Finally a day that we can ask all of those silly questions and not have anyone look at us a strange way.  Speak up my followers – ask all of those questions you were afraid to ask today that you have been wondering about all year long.

 I interviewed the occupants here at the Hotel Thompson.  They came up with some great questions that I’m going to share.  They’ll start so you can feel better about your questions.  Remember no one is going to laugh at your question – maybe the answer but not the question – chitter chatter

“Why is Grape Nuts cereal called Grape Nuts when it has neither grapes or nuts?”

“If the Professor on Gilligan’s Island could make a radio out of a coconut, why couldn’t he fix a small hole in the side of the boat?”

“Why does Goofy always stand up on two legs yet Pluto remains on all four legs?  Aren’t they both dogs?”

“Why do banks leave their doors wide open but chain their pens to the counter?”

“How come when the battery goes dead on the television remote, you think it will work if you press the buttons harder?”

“If a cat always lands on its feet and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of the cat?”

“What color would a Smurf turn if you choked it?”

 

Tootsie Roll Pops

Do you remember the commercial for Tootsie Roll Pops back in the day.  You know the one with, “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?”  And then the owl licks and counts, “One, Two, and then crunch – three.”  Snorts with piggy laughter.  That commercial kills me.  I wasn’t born when it originally came out but the other night here at the Hotel Thompson we were watching old commercials.  It was great – some of them were hilarious.

But it got me, mom and dad talking.  What were some of your favorite flavors of the Tootsie Roll Pop?  But better yet, what flavor would you have loved to have had for a Tootsie Roll Pop?  Mom and dad came up with:  Pineapple, butter pecan and coconut.  What do you think about those flavors?

Tell me my friends.  What flavors would you have loved to have seen and had?

 

 

I Found the Answer

There I was minding my own business surfing the night to find the answers to all the questions.  That’s when I saw this picture.  There you go my friends.  That’s the answer.  What?  You don’t know what I’m talking about?  Okay think about it.  Go back in time when you were in school and you had that math class that asked the answer.  If Juan had watermelons, how many could he fit in the car.  Snorts with piggy laughter.  Now you get it?

 

Dear Bacon

 Dear Bacon – Who says that humans get to have all of the fun?  Us anipals can appreciate a good movie too.  For instance, one of the best movies ever made – can you guess it?  Star Wars of course!  I mean come on piggy – don’t you love it?  The lights, the action, the fights, marrying Hans Solo – what is there not to like?!  What do you think about the movie?  And what is your favorite movie.  You can tell me.  Signed Princess Leia Kitty

Dear Princess Leia Kitty – Well I can see my friend from your outfit that you really, REALLY like to get into your character and enjoy your movies.  I’m piggy enough to admit that I’ve never watched any of the Star Wars movies.  Now before you hiss too loudly, remember I’m only 4.5.  My dad hasn’t introduced me yet.  But I can guarantee you that after I read him your letter, he will.  Lucky me.

My favorite movie?  Of course Charlotte’s Web.  What’s not to like?  Snorts and oinks!

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 Dear Bacon – I know you have a pesky cat at the Hotel Thompson.  I have one here too.  Shaking my head.  Why are cats so evil?  They say their misunderstood.  Barks – as if.  They have the humans completed snowed – completely!  Us anipals know the truth.  You see, our humans were at work.  The pesky fur ball got onto the coffee table, looked at me and started to push the bowl of flowers towards the end of the table.  I was like NO! – but of course why listen to me – I’m just the dog as he puts it.  As he knocked the bowl off the table, I couldn’t help it with my expression and of course the turd took my picture.  Guess who got blamed for it?  Yep, moi.  Because we all know the cute little kitty would never do such a thing.  Help me my friend.  Signed OMD!

Dear OMD! – That pesky no good for nothing flea bag!  Yes I understand your situation completely.  Hemi here thinks he is the master and does things very similar.  Like smacking me hard on the fanny when no one is looking and when I try to take a nip at him squealing to the high heavens.  Heck, I wasn’t going to eat him – I was cleaning him… yeah that’s the story.  So you see, I know your pain.  I think perhaps your little friend should have some payback.  Call me – I’m sure we can come up with something like honey or peanut butter accidentally of course being left out for him to be covered in… or maybe a swift bath in the toilet.  What?  I would never hurt kitty – nope not at all 🙂

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Dear Bacon – We have this cool thing in our hood called doggy daycare.  It is like the total bomb in the summer!  The bus comes to our house, picks us up and takes us on field trips and play dates and the doggy facility.  OMD!  I so highly recommend this.  We go twice a week and this is our picture from the bus – it’s so cool.  This was our “we aren’t doing anything-sweet-and-innocent” looks on the way home.  Dude, you gotta check it out and see if they have one in your hood.  Signed Summer Fun

Dear Summer Fun – Oh my piggy heavens!  That sounds like so much fun for sure!  You get out, your humans get a break and you make lots of friends and see things all over.  Oh my gosh!  I’m so green with jealous.  I gotta check this out.  Thanks my friends for letting me know of this awesome experience.  I wanna go on field trips too!

 

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Dear Bacon – We were set up!  We found several notes in the woods saying there was going to be a party here at the house and that cover charge was a buck.  We came but we were set up – there was no party!  The room was dark and no one was at home.  What a joke!  We were hoping for a great time and a full keg.  Should we stand here until someone comes home?  Signed Buck Party

Dear Buck Party – OMP!  The cover charge was a buck?  Shaking my piggy head.  Oh my friends – you were definitely set up on this one.  I’m so sorry but in a way you have to admit it was kind of funny.  Should you stand there until the family comes back?  Probably not.  I wouldn’t want to see what they have in store for you if you do.  I say chalk this one up to experience and keep tracking the woods to see if the familiar smell of the person that set you comes back.

Take care my friends.

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Remember friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to email me your letters and pictures.

 

 

Facts About Moi

It’s been a while since I’ve posted this but I think I should again.  Mom and dad get a lot of questions about moi – a pig that lives in the Hotel Thompson.  People think that we are dirty/messy and can’t believe it when I say I live inside full time and prefer my comforts such as air conditioning, heat and of course my sweet television.

Here are some questions that we get asked a lot.  I thought we would answer some of them for you.  Hope you enjoy these my friends 🙂

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(1) Do I smell? No. Did you know that pigs are actually clean animals. We are very careful that we do not mess where we sleep or eat. I have an entire room and my sleeping quarters are on the opposite side of my wizzy pad. Mom and dad keep up with cleaning my room on a regular basis and of course I help. So no, I nor my room smell.

(2) Do we sweat? Did you know that pigs don’t sweat? We are actually unable to do so. That’s why you see pigs on the outside waddling in mud or water to keep cool. I, myself, have air conditioning and heat inside. Mom and dad makes sure that the temperatures are good for me. Not too cold and not too warm. If I get cold, I will snuggle under blankets and hide.

(3) Do pigs dream? Of course we do. We dream much as humans do. Sometimes when I’m on the couch with mom, she touches and holds me. She can feel me jumping and dreaming. She says it cute.

(4) What do we ‘do’? Well, I’m much like any other animal. I love to sleep, I enjoy watching television and listening to music. I play chase with the purr things and mom. I chase balls and I love getting piggy massages. I like to be held and touched. I really love to sit on the couch with mom watching television after dinner. This is one of my favorite things in the world. Normal things that your dog probably likes to do.  I do spend a lot of time in my bedroom on my toddler bed doing my thing – writing my blogs, researching my postings and taking care of my pet rocks.

(5) How do my parents know when its time to eat? This is a great and important question. We love to have a schedule. My internal clock is better than most clocks in the world. I know when it’s time to get up, eat or go to bed. Did you know that pigs have more than 20 vocalizations used in different situations? My mom and dad have learned some of mine. Just like when a baby cries and the mother ‘knows’ the cry, mom and dad know what my different sounds are for. Mom especially knows the “I’m hungry” call. LOL And you know, we don’t ‘pig out’ or eat like pigs as the old saying goes. We would rather enjoy our food. And no I don’t eat ‘slop’. I know there are some farm piggies that do but that’s a different breed. I eat lots of piggy chow, vegetables and fruits. I have to maintain my cute little figure!  And there is a standing FIRM rule here at the Hotel Thompson.  “No eating in front of the pig unless you plan on sharing with the pig.”

(6) Do you really know your name and are you that smart? Did you know that pigs learn their names within 3 days? When mom adopted me, she held me a lot, talked to me in her voice and said my name. This way, I knew who my mommy was. She also showed me where my wizzy pad was in my room and within 2 days, I was using it all of the time. I learned very quickly where the food came from in the kitchen. I even know where my piggy chow is kept. We are very smart creatures and have a great sense of direction!

(7) Are we hard to get along with? Well, this depends on a lot of factors. I’m an attention hog and yeah I can be a little pig headed at times when I don’t get my ways. I do have a tendency to test my boundaries but mom and dad (especially mom) sets me straight real quick. You know, just like regular kids do. I have my good days and bad days.

(8) Do I know any tricks? We are a very smart breed. I’m house trained. I know what it means to go to my feeding mat. I know what it means to go to bed. I know what it means to lay down or get snuggly. I know what it means to go potty. And I know what it means when mom tells me not to eat the purr things – LOL – just seeing if you were paying attention.

(9) Why is my tail straight? Did you know that regular pigs, you know the ones that stay outside on the farm, have curly tails. A true pot bellied pig has a straight tail that attaches high on the rump. That’s me. That’s how you can tail if its a cross breed pig or a miniature pot bellied pig.

(10) What’s our vision like? I like this question. Just like dad, I have very poor vision. You can’t look at me straight on and expect me to see you. My eyes are kind of on the side of my head and I can’t see things straight away. You will find me looking at you from the side. But although my vision may be poor, my smell and hearing are exceptional!

And the most important question of all – Do I get along with the other anipals here at the Hotel Thompson?  Yes.  We all know our pecking order here – Hemi, Me, Houdini and then Mouse Girl – snorts.  Hemi let’s *everyone* know that he is the top cat and the alpha male.  We all play together and when we are all out together, mom keeps full attention on us – that means no electronics like iPads or iPhones or cameras.  It only takes one time not paying attention for an accident to happen.  Although we all grew up together, a careful eye is key and mom is a firm believer in this.  And although me and Hemi sometimes squabble with each other and him slapping my captains quarters with his big paw, if i’m feeling icky he is the first there to check on me… right behind mommy of course.

I hope some of these answered your questions about me. If you have anymore, you can always ask or send me an email at BaconThompson@gmail.com

Hogs and Kisses, Bacon

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Busted!  But I tell you, I was set up.  Really I was.  You see, I saw the two legged kid in the house outside the other day making what he called mud pies.  I thought why couldn’t I make one?  They look delicious.  And trust me that kid was covered but no he didn’t get into trouble.  I get out there and start making pies and the entire world is coming to an end.  What do you think of that?  Signed Pie Maker

Dear Pie Maker – Personally, I don’t think that is the kind of pies that you eat.  Perhaps you can roll around in it to be cool – my kind has been doing that for years.  But to eat – shakes piggy head no.

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  Dear Bacon – The humans left the house – check.  Got my bath in – check.  Got my robe on – check.  Got my snacks – check.  Got the remote – check.  There I was preparing to watch my show on television, America’s Top Bitches, then it happened. The humans came back home early.  What the cream cheese?!  What did they expect I was going to do while they were out – lay on the floor and take a nap?  Signed Comfy

Dear Comfy – I’m with you on that one my friend.  If my humans came home during my show, they would just have to pull up, sit down and shut up until the show was done.  I mean we are talking priorities here.

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Dear Bacon – Help!?  My humans they watch Star Wars way too much.  This is how they are dressing me up for Halloween.  Lord help me.  One of my humans will be Darth Vader and the other Luke Skywalker.  Then there’s me in the middle.  The nerve of them to make me go out in this attire!  Signed Princess Leia

Dear Princess Leia – I got a couple of things to say my dear.  First – hubba hubba.  I love that outfit on you – you are gorgeous.  I’m sure the real Princess Leia is full of envy with the way you wear that hair.  Second up – you have to admit that the costumes will be original and that’s awesome.  Just think you will stand out among your peers.  Everyone will want to be you.  And you know for doing this, you will probably get extra treats.  I say wear it with style and look on the bright side you gorgeous babe!

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  Dear Bacon – This is how we greet our human when he comes home from work.  This just shows to him what we think of him as royalty by being his welcome committee.  What do you think?  Signed Two Statues

Dear Two Statues – It’s okay my friends.  You can tell me.  You really stay there when he comes home to remind him of the royalty YOU are and that it is feeding time.  It will be our little secret and we won’t tell.  Zip – not a word.  I wish our stairs could support me on them… what am I talking about?  We don’t have stairs – snorts!

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Dear Bacon – This photobomb thing has gone too far.  Every time I try to take a picture to post on my Pet Harmony account, this dog jumps in either behind, beside or in front.  What am I to do?  Signed Looking for Love

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Dear Looking for Love – Shaking piggy head.  You know my friend, brothers/sisters can be a pain in the rump in the house.  Might I suggest you to post HIS picture on Pet Harmony.  If he had a friend, he would surely leave you alone.  That would give you more time to find you a mate.

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Remember my dear friends that Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please keep sending your pictures and letters to my email address.  

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Nothing to see here.  Really there’s not.  I was just having a prayer meeting with Mr. Kitty.  That’s all.  Doggy Scouts Honor.  Signed Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Dear Innocent Until Proven Guilty – Oh wow my friend.  How could anyone think anything other than just a prayer meeting was going on in that picture?  I mean Mr. Kitty just would normally be cornered standing up straight with his hands down.  Now to think of though – if it was a prayer meeting, why wasn’t his hands up?  You gotta think about these questions that might come up.  And the look on his face – well that doesn’t say Amen to me.  I’m just telling you like I see it.

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   Dear Bacon – The humans came home early.  How dare them.  Don’t they know that once the leave for work, this crib is mine for eight hours or more?  Here I was taking a little dip in the inside pool.  They walked in like I was killing the pet bird or something.  Honestly, some people.  If they didn’t want me to swim in the pool, don’t leave the lid up.  Signed Skinny Dipping

Dear Skinny Dipping – Remind me not to get to close to your snuggles when I visit.  I don’t think that contraption is made for your swimming convenience.  I’ve seen what my daddy does in it.  It’s not pretty.  Trust me on that.  Shivers.

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  Dear Bacon – Can you believe my owner accused me of getting into her so called make up?  I did not touch her war paint.  No I didn’t.  You can’t prove these things.  She didn’t see me in it.  Hhummphh – I think I’ll go take a walk outside now.  Signed Painted Lady

Dear Painted Lady –  Uumm, you might want to rethink your stand on the no touchy of the war paint.  Go look in the mirror.  I think you will ‘see’ what is giving you away.  Although I do like the color of your paws and mouth, it looks like that lipstick didn’t get away.  One shade darker and it would look like a crime scene happened at your crib with you being the victim.  Of course on the other hoof, that would make an awesome Halloween costume.  Crime Scene or Street Walker – you make the call – snorts with piggy laughter.

 

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 Dear Bacon – This may look like shredded paper all over the floor but it’s not.  I have a perfectly good excuse for this.  You see my humans leave me in the kitchen while they go to make the money to keep me in the life I’ve grown accustomed.  Well, I’ve watched my mom clip her so called coupons all the time.  If you look closer at these papers, they are coupons.  I was just trying to lend a helping paw and help her out.  You know, to give her more time to pet and play with me.  You understand, right?  Signed Coupon Clipper

Dear Coupon Clipper – I give you one for helping and participating in the household budget my friend.  Unfortunately though, I don’t think those coupons will work the way you cut them.  I’m sure your mom understood your willing to help.  Maybe next time, you let her do the clipping with one hand while she pets you with the other.

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REMEMBER my friends – Dear Bacon can’t help without your participation. Keep sending your letters and pictures to my email address.  Snorts and Oinks!