Dear Bacon

 

 Dear Bacon,  My friends say I catch like a girl.  I don’t get it.  What would make them think that of me?   My owners are always throwing stuff at me.  I look at it as fun and games.  Do you like to play like this?  Signed Eeekkk

Dear Eeekk – Oh my friend.  I have no idea why your friends would say something like that about you.  I have no clue.  Your paws up in the air like that are just so darling – did that big bone get you by surprise?  Snorts.

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 Dear Bacon,  What?  I didn’t do this to the front room.  No sir I didn’t.  I walked in the front room and it was like this.  It wasn’t me.  Look closer at the picture – it was that flea ridden dog – he was the one that did this.  He is the one that is trying to frame sweet innocent little old me.  That’s the truth.  Cat’s honor.  Until they get paw prints taken, I am innocent my friend.  Signed Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Dear Innocent Until Proven Guilty, Well my friend I do see the pooch in question in the picture.  You do realize that technology is so advanced these days that they can take paw prints and saliva to figure out who did these things.  I’m just saying that if the dog did do it … cough cough… there would be some dog slobber somewhere.  If not, then things can get turned your way really fast.  So knowing this… perhaps you need to go and have a talk with poochie before the humans get home?  Just sayin’.

P.S.  Well played in your destruction.

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Dear Bacon, I’m totally a rule breaker.  This sign says Keep Off.  Guess what?  I’m not down with that.  That sign was just begging for this little pug thug to get up on it and take a picture.  BAM!  That’s what I say.  Signed Thug Wanna Be.  P.S.  Can you help me off of here now?

Dear Thug Wanna Be, okay that’s almost too funny for words my talented little pooch.  I hope jumping up there didn’t stunt your genealogy line for the future.  I do admire your tenacity of breaking the rules.  You’re my kind of guy.  Don’t worry.  I called Triple A.  They should be out shortly to help you down from your pedestal gracefully… soon I hope.  Until then, can I get you anything?  Coffee, tea, blanket, pillow?

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Dear Bacon,  Everyone likes to play in the water… my asses aren’t any different.  Really, you should be getting your pool out and ready soon.  Have fun our little friend.  If you get a chance, come join us – there’s always room for more fun.  Signed Mommy Donk

Dear Mommy Donk, You know when I first read your comment I thought, “WOW, you really hate your kids.”  Then dad explained all to me.  Smiles and grins – love your play with words totally.  This oinker would love to join ya’ll the next time I’m in town.  Until then, keep playing and having the time of your lives!

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Remember friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please keep emailing your pictures and questions to me.  ❤