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Dear Bacon

20131106-104329.jpgDear Bacon,

My human thought she would bring me to work today.  As you can tell, neither one of us got a lot of work done.  Well, my mom didn’t.  I did because her desk was the most frequented visited cubicle that day.  I wonder why?  Signed Shrimp

Dear Shrimp,

Smiles and wipes piggy eyes.  Aren’t you just the most adorable, cutest little thing I’ve seen in a while.  I just want to rub that little belly of yours.  You must have really been tired little guy.  Maybe you should do more visits to work with mommy.  I think in no time you would have all of her co-workers wrapped around your little paws!


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Dear Bacon,

I know we are suppose to be enemies but we’re not.  We are buds.  He watches my back and I watch his.  We have the most interesting conversations at our house.  Why can’t we all just get along in the world like us?  Signed Tom and Jerry

Dear Tom and Jerry,

Ya’ll have a great point.  We *should* all just get along in this world.  There shouldn’t be anything saying that we can’t because of one thing or another.  Ya’ll are setting the best example – keep up the great work my friends!


20131106-104815.jpgDear Bacon,

I was this close to freedom before they caught me and put me back in lockdown.  I could taste freedom and it tasted pretty darn good.  Any suggestions for next time?  Signed Stretch

Dear Stretch,

I have to laugh buddy.  They say your kind is slow and not full of spunk but I think *they* are wrong.  You show the tenacity in making the ‘great escape’.  You were so close – how you got that far up on the fence is beyond me but way to go my friend.  Next time though, might I suggest just watching out for the gate to open.  It might be a safer way for your taste of freedom.


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Dear Bacon,

What?  Haven’t you ever seen a bird wearing a hoodie before?  It gets cold.  I don’t have a ‘fur coat’ like you do.  My feathers only provide so much for warmth.  I think it’s a great idea.  We should all have one, you think?  Signed Fun Times

Dear Fun Times,

I think it’s great!  You look warm, festive and ready to go meet the world in that hoodie.  I say don’t worry about what anyone else might think.  As long as you are warm and comfy, who cares!


20131106-104910.jpgDear Bacon,

I need help.  I know you have Bashful.  Bashful is like a happening international traveling pet rock.  My owner, he just keeps me in a cage and feeds me.  I don’t get that life of first class traveling or anything.  Any suggestions- can you help me out?  Signed Bug

Dear Bug,

I am so sorry little guy.  Your owner must not have gotten the parenting guide like I did with Bashful.  You have to have exercise.  Your owner needs to walk you or at least put a hamster wheel in your cage for exercise.  Does he take you out for social time, watching television?  Heck, if anything else, you need a friend.  You give him my number, I’ll email it back to you.  I’ll talk to him and see what we can come up with my friend.

.

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11 Comments

Posted by on December 12, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20131113-093216.jpg Dear Bacon,

Leash training.  Well, it sucks.  I can’t go too far without the human deciding that I shouldn’t be that far.  A pig has to have his freedom!  That’s what I say.  What about you?  Signed Gotta Run

Dear Gotta Run,

Poor little guy.  Mommy *tried* to leash train me.  Let’s just say that I wasn’t a leash kind of pig either.  I’m sure with more practice, I would have adjusted but she didn’t have the will power – snorts.  Look on the other hand my little friend, they are just trying to watch after your safety.  Consider it a gesture of love. 🙂


20131113-093238.jpgDear Bacon,

HA!  This will make you think twice about stomping in that puddle outside again won’t it?  I just had to share.  You never know where my kind might jump out at you.  Consider us like clowns.  We’ll make you laugh but we are scary as heck to look at sometimes.  Signed Hide N Seek

Dear Hide N Seek,

Shivers to murgatroid!  I will never stomp my little hooves in the puddle outside in my magical backyard EVER again.  Heck, I close my eyes and still see you.  EEWW – you are like clowns – scary!!  I gotta get in therapy.  Thanks.


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Dear Bacon,

You’re not the only cute thing that rides around in your mom’s moving thingy.  I love to settle in the back seat and go for a spin.  It kind of relaxes me and helps me to go to sleep.  I think it helps my mom too to hear me go bbaaww.  Signed Tiny

Dear Tiny,

OMP (oh my pig).  Yes you are so right my friend.  You are the most adorable little thing.  I just want to pick you up and cuddle with you!  If my mom saw you, oh goodness, we would so have to adopt you here at the Hotel Thompson!!  Stay safe my little friend.


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Dear Bacon,

I turn my back for one minute and my tail hit my nuts off of the pole.  I think my face tells you everything.  I got make every nut count during these winter months!  Signed Flabbergasted

Dear Flabbergasted,

I’m sorry my friend for laughing but that look is priceless!  Hit me up, I’ll give you some nuts 🙂


 

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Dear Bacon,

No matter what you do in life, never give up and never surrender.  You don’t know what strengths you have until you try.  Stay strong my friend.  Signed Adam Ant

Dear Adam Ant,

Those are some powerful words my little buddy.  So true and spot on.  I will never give up and never surrender with anything in my life.  Thank you!.

 

 
10 Comments

Posted by on December 5, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20130724-232059.jpg
Dear Bacon,
Daddy was holding my head and kept making funny faces at me.  I thought it was only fair play that I returned at least a funny face too.  What do you think?  Signed Twisted

Dear Twisted,
OMP (Oh my pig!)  I love that face.  Humans can be so silly with us, can’t they?  They make all these goo goo gaa gaa sounds and twist their faces up.  I think it’s only time that we turn it around and do it back to them.  Fortunately, your dad had the camera on.  Great face my friend.  Thank you so much for sharing the fun!


20130724-232119.jpgDear Bacon,
Oh rawr and barks.  I read your blog and see that you are ‘trained’.  I can’t believe you let your humans do that to you.  A trained pig – barks.  Who has ever heard of that.  Signed Jolly

Dear Jolly,
Really?  Are you done now laughing at me.  Tell me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that harness around your neck?  Who’s trained now barky thing?  snorts.  PLOL (Pig laughing out loud).


20130724-232145.jpgDear Bacon,
They say admission is the first step and I admit it.  I attacked the vacuum cleaner.  Well, I really don’t think it was so much of an attack as it was a jump while it wasn’t looking.  Heck, it was making way too much noise.  And to think mom yells at me when I bark!  I was just trying to get it to be quiet.  You can’t really blame me, can you?  Signed Pupattack

Dear Pupattack,
Well, what you say is true.  How can the humans get on to us and make us walk a certain line of rules and other things can’t.  Just like at the Hotel Thompson.  How come I can bark and squeal but daddy can sing off key loudly in the shower?  I think it is all in fair play.  I back you my friend.  Get the petition started.  I would sign it to get you out of that basket.  By all means – let me sign it to get you out of the cobra basket. 🙂


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Dear Bacon,
Hey, what’s up my friend?  Just chilling here in the sun.  I think you should come down under and see me.  We could have a lot of fun together.  Heck, I would even let you ride in my pouch good looking.  Signed Roolove

Dear Roolove,
You do look awfully comfortable there my friend.  So relaxed, sleepy looking from the sun actually.  Although I would love to visit and ride in your ‘pouch’, I’m afraid it might be bit of a trip for me.  Although, Bashful my pet rock is down under visiting.  Maybe you can look him up and give him a little ride.  Just be sure to please return him to his host family.


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Dear Bacon,
I love – just LOVE – doing this to Jed.  I walk up behind him and disguise my voice saying, “Guess who?”  Has anyone ever done that to you?  It’s a fun little game we play.  Do you know he still never guesses its me.  He’s a hoot.  I fool him every single time.  Do it to one of your purr things and see what happens.  Go ahead.  Signed Fool You

Dear Fool You,
That is a cute little game my friend.  I think I will tell Houdini about this and have him do it to Hemi.  That should be hilarious to see how that goes down.  I can almost picture in my mind.  I’ll be sure to try and have the camera ready for a photo opportunity.  Thanks my friend for the game.

 
13 Comments

Posted by on November 28, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20121106-070748.jpgDear Bacon,

This is my scary pose.  Does it work?  I’m trying it out on different people but all they do is laugh.  What am I doing wrong?  Signed Vicious

Dear Vicious,

I hate to say it little fellow but that is so not scary.  The only thing scary in that pose are those huge claws – now that’s scary.  You doing that pose – I just want to tickle that little belly.  I’m sure as you get older, that pose may have more of an impact.  Right now though, you’re just a cute little thing… especially with that sunlight shining on you.  Maybe lose the pose and learn to bristle up that fur a bit.  That might be scary.  Let me know my friend.


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Dear Bacon,

I need some help.  I’m not sure what is going on.  Everyone that sees me starts singing some theme song of Star Wars.  I don’t get it.  Signed Ewok

Dear Ewok,

You don’t get out much do you?  You  need to go through your master’s video collection and find one marked Star Wars.  Watch it.  Watch it closely my friend and see if you notice anything in that movie that you’ve seen before…anything that looks familiar…. anything that maybe has the same name as you.  Love the look!


 

20121106-070855.jpgDear Bacon,

I get picked on all of the time.  You’re slow they say.  I can run faster than you they say.  You’re slower than creek water running down stream they say.  Well, I have found the light and the answer!  These days, I just use my handy dandy skate board.  What do you think?  Signed Tony “Tortoise” Hawk

Dear Tony “Tortoise” Hawk

I think you look fantastic little man!  What an awesome idea that you came up with.  Can’t wait to see you television racing the big guys!  Be safe!


20121106-070939.jpgDear Bacon,

Those pesky cats in the neighborhood were running through the trees.  I thought I would chase them.  You know, just to keep up their exercise.  They got me stuck between two trees.  Have you ever seen such misery?  Signed Woody

Dear Woody,

I would not have believed it if you didn’t send a picture to me.  WOW – you are stuck between two trunks and a hard place.  Hope you got unstuck fast.  Don’t be too hard on those purr things.


20121106-071118.jpgDear Bacon,

This is us, the TMNT, in the early days.  Even then we had style.  Never give up man and always dream big – it can happen to you like it did to us.  Signed Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello

Dear TMNT,

Love you guys!  Mom said that you are making another come back.  I’ve watched some shows from the past.  I would love to be like ya’ll – can you use a pig in the mix?  I want a cool name too – just like ya’lls.  Keep safe and live prosper my new friends!

 
13 Comments

Posted by on November 21, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20121120-062013.jpg
Dear Bacon,
Spiders eeww.  Nobody likes them man.  I’m sorry little dude.  I saw one on the floor.  It was huge.  There was no other place to go.  The evil thing was in the doorway threatening my manhood.  I jumped on the first thing I could to get away from it.  Sink be it.  This is how my master found me.  This doesn’t make me less of a dog does it?  My fear of spiders?  Signed Sweetness

Dear Sweetness,

Well, it might take you down a couple of notches.  You’re name my take you down a few more.  You are my fellow friend are a dog.  A big dog at that.  You could have easily walked over that little spider and saved you some grace.  Unless that spider is as big as you, you are the bigger person.  Start dogging up.


 

20121120-062145.jpgDear Bacon,
Hey dude.  I read your blog all of the time.  I see people talking about yoga and I’ve seen some of the positions.  I gotta lot of stress in my life.  I thought I would try it.  WOW – it works great!  This is my zen trunk position.  It took me a long time to get the balancing together but it’s great now.  Have you tried it yet??  Signed Stingphant

Dear Stingphant,

That’s amazing!  I’m going to have to try some of these positions in my room when no one is looking, especially that Hemi.  It helps out in stress huh?  I really don’t have that much stress but I think over the holidays I’m going to try it.  I’ll keep you posted.


 

20121120-062543.jpgDear Bacon,
Who says zebras can’t be fast?  I’m tired of being the underzebra in the bush getting chased all of the time. I bought me a bike and it is the bomb!  Those pesky little cats can’t catch me anymore.  Whatcha think?  Signed Einstein

Dear Einstein,

I’m amazed!  First of all, you have the talent to ride a bike.  Second of all, I would have never thought about doing that to escape the cat.  But I do have a question.  How are you going to feel that thing up with gas when it runs out?  Just a thought to think about.  Stay safe my striped friend!


20121120-062701.jpgDear Bacon,
I love the water.  I just can’t get enough of it.  My favorite sport is water skiing.  Everyone said that due to my size that I would never be able to participate.  Well, I proofed them wrong.  Don’t let anyone say that you can’t do something.  You can.  Signed Geoffrey

Dear Geoffrey,

I’ve got to admit that if you can do that, I can do some of the things that I want to do in my life.  There’s nothing that can hold us back.  Thank you so much for the inspiration!


20121120-062807.jpgOkay pig –

You think *you* have problems with those pesky purr things.  I have problems.  My master has pet mice.  You know where I’m going.  You can’t eat the pets.  But this, this is taking things a little too far and asking me too much.  What am I to do?  Signed Heathcliff

Dear Heathcliff,

WOW – mom does walk around telling me not to eat the cats.  I don’t.  I may tug on their tails a little but it’s all out of love.  But mice hanging around the head.  Oh buddy, there’s got to be a line somewhere and that’s pushing it.  You might need to leave the room when the master has those play things out wondering around.  I can hold back a lot but that – no way!  Be strong!

 
5 Comments

Posted by on November 14, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20130601-001516.jpg
Dear Bacon,
Hello my friend.  I see you have a squirrel for a friend – thank you for liking our kind.  And, I know you secretly want to be a super pig hero and wear a cape.  Anytime you want, you can be my sidekick!  Signed Super Squirrel

Dear Super Squirrel,

You are so on!  I love the thoughts of being your sidekick.  I’ve been trying to convince mom for a while now that I need a cape.  You think you can help me a little and talk to her?


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Dear Bacon,
I don’t think my friends have any clue whatsoever that I’m not really ‘one’ of them if you know what I mean.  I love this spy stuff – what about you?  Signed RacCat Bandit

Dear RacCat Bandit,

OMP (Oh my pig!)  That is so funny.  I fell off of the couch I was laughing so hard at that picture.  You are a little spy, aren’t you?  I can only imagine some of the information you have obtained with that disguise.  Maybe I need to get a mask for Halloween this year.  It would be a hoot!


20130601-001537.jpgDear Bacon,
It’s really not as hard as it looks.  I’ve been hanging out with some ladies all week and it’s been great fun!  My next step is to see if one of them will marry me.  Do you think I have a shot?  Signed RooFlam

Dear RooFlam,

Well, first of all I think you look great and you have some amazing talent for walking on sticks. I myself could never do that.  I just don’t have the balance.  Second off, you might want to rethink your mission.  It’s bound to come out eventually that you are not what you seem.


20130601-001548.jpgDear Bacon,
Sometimes I think a picture says a thousand words.  I think this is one of those occasions.  What do you think?  Signed Pom the Comedian

Dear Pom the Comedian,

Your picture is so wrong on so many different levels but I have to admit that I laughed… hard!  And, daddy laughed… hard!  Your poor brother – I’m not so sure he thought it was so funny.  All I gotta say, it was a good one but watch out.  I’m sure I’ll be getting a picture and email from your brother in the very near future!

 

 
17 Comments

Posted by on August 1, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20130601-000719.jpg
Dear Bacon,
Little dude, you are a hoot.  I read your blog all of the time.  I mean, up here in the cold – what else is there to do?  All of my buddies come over at least once a week so we can read your page together.  You are so funny little man.  You should go on the road.  What do you think?  We’ll buy tickets!  Signed Sealed and Funny

Dear Signed Sealed and Funny,

Thanks my friend.  I appreciate those kind words.  Everyone here at the Hotel Thompson has a tendency not to take life too serious – just go with it and have some fun.  It makes life so much more interesting!  I’ll let you know about any future road dates. 🙂


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Dear Bacon,
You really should overcome your anti-nature fears.  It’s great out outside!  Look at this great picture that my older brother took of me on the beach.  You gotta come here and put your hooves in the sand.  Once you do, you’ll never go back!   I’ll save a beach chair for you – come on down!  Signed Chillin Tiny

Dear Chillin Tiny,

I will keep that in mind my friend.  You do look so very comfortable and that picture really pulls at some heart strings.  I’ve seen pictures from mom of the beach as well.  They make me almost want to rethink my anti-nature policies.  I am working on it.  When I make that leap of faith, I’ll be sure to let you know.  Don’t be surprised if you get a call from me somewhere in the near future my friend!  Thanks for the invite.


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Dear Bacon,
Oh little man – purr – come on down to the desert and play with me.  I’m just like one of your purr things there at the Hotel Thompson.  I can help you get over your outdoor phobias.  Trust me, I can.  Growl – Signed Playful

Dear Playful,

For some reason, I just don’t get the same love and desire of you wanting to help me like my friend Chillin Tiny. As you said, you are like the purr things here.  With that in mind, I’m thinking your parting words of ‘trust me’ would be like something Hemi would say here before he swats me on my piggy fanny.  But, I appreciate the invite.  I think I’ll stay in the south and continue to be a member of the Hotel Thompson.  Take care of yourself my friend.  Be sure to use sunscreen.


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Dear Bacon,
I bet you had to look twice at this picture, didn’t you or did you?  This thing called Photoshop is amazing.  I could even Photoshop you in my pouch.  Wouldn’t that be fun?  I could take you everywhere!  Signed Hop n’ Fun

Dear Hop n’ Fun,

PLOL (Pig Laughing Out Loud).  That does look like so much fun!  Perhaps I do need to come see you in real life so we can have so much fun down under!


20130601-000845.jpgDear Bacon,

Since all of the Harry Potter movies are done and over with, I have a lot of time on my wings these days.  Most days now, you can find me skateboarding along the boardwalk.  Watch out Tony Hawk – I’m coming for you with some of my tricks.  Signed Hedwig

Dear Hedwig,

I was just wondering what you were up to these days.  I just watched a couple of the Harry Potter movies last weekend.  You’re looking good.  They must be right about the camera adding 10 pounds plus because you look a lot smaller in this picture!  Be safe my friend.

 

 

 
15 Comments

Posted by on July 25, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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