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Travels in the South

Sometimes it’s hard to get out for a quick dinner especially when one is saving money.  But this night, mom/dad found the perfect place.  It was the Sam’s Warehouse – snorts with piggy laughter.  Daddy went in and asked for a table for two – rolls piggy eyes.  He’s the romantic isn’t he?

Well mom enjoyed her fine dining experience.  They got hot dogs with the works.  By the works I mean sauerkraut, onions and mustard.  Dad also went the extra mile with a bag of chips.  Now you are probably asking yourself was this really awesome?  Nods head.  Mom said YES.  For a whopping $5.00 – they had dinner for two.  Big spenders huh?

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Moral of the Story

A pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. He was so pleased with his donkey that he entered it a 2nd time and it won again. The local paper read: “PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.” The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read: “BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTORS ASS.” This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, upon hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: “NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.” The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read: “NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.” This was too much for the bishop so he ordered the nun to buy back her donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:”NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.”

The bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is – being concerned about public opinion can bring you grief and misery and even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life..  You’ll be a lot happier and live longer.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on 08/13/2018 in Bacon

 

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Travels in the South

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I’ve told you before my friends.  My mom and dad have lost it. Totally.  This past weekend was one of “those” adventures – snorts.  They were looking for some adventure and wanted to try a place they had never been to before.  So they took off in Albert, mom’s little Smart car, and hit the highway.  Almost sounds like a song huh – snorts.

They ended up at this place called Mellow Mushroom – it’s a pizza joint which was right up dad’s alley.  He ❤ pizza.  Mom was somewhat reluctant.  First off because they sat right beside exhibit A to the left.  Pardon me while I say this but does that ‘mushroom’ look psychedelic?  It was kind of disturbing in a weird sense of direction.  Mom couldn’t take her eyes off of it.  There was just something about it that was just plain weird.

 That’s when mom got up to take a closer look at the psychedelic mushroom.   20140716-201449-72889500.jpg

It’s not all its cracked up to be – double snorts.  You get it – cracked up.  It really is around the head area.  What kind of restaurant is this place?  Mom shook her head, snapped a couple of pictures and sat down preparing herself for a psychedelic adventure.

P.S.  If you are ever out and about and see some crazy lady taking pictures at a restaurant, just call her mom.  That will probably be my crazy mom – she takes pictures of *everything* as you will soon see in this post.

Shakes piggy head.  At least it’s not all about me now.

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20140716-201448-72888070.jpgMom has been on this DIEt thing lately.  It’s going okay. As she says, it’s all about choices.  So today she choose a Greek salad to start her meal.

Exhibit B to the left here.  She says if she starts with a good salad, it fills her so she doesn’t eat too much of a bad thing.

Which is good – I guess if you are living a DIEt kind of life.  Mom did say that this salad was delicious!  It had everything she loves – lettuce, mushrooms (which didn’t look scary like exhibit A), olives, peppers and feta cheese.

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20140716-201454-72894404.jpgDad on the other hoof, went with a cheese covered pretzel.  See exhibit C here to the right.  Not only was it delicious and cheesy, they served it with a beer cheese dipping sauce.  It must have been great because daddy licked the cheese sauce dry and there were no crumbs left from the pretzel.

 Which is good because mommy kept watching him waiting for something to drop.  So much for eating a nice decent sensible salad huh?

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Now cam20140716-201452-72892352.jpge the main course.  Mom and dad can never agree upon toppings for their pizza.  There solution is to always get a pie 1/2 and 1/2.  That way mom can have what she wants and dad can have what he wants.  May I present to you exhibit D to the left.  Drum roll – tongue hanging out – deliciousness.

Mom got the top side.  She ❤ white pizza with cheese, garlic and tomatoes – what’s not to love right?

Dad on the other hoof got the bottom side.  He gets the works… something this little piggy can’t discuss and think about.  But it looks good.  Of course a lot of pizza made it’s way home for lunch the next day.

You have to admit though, mom had hesitation at first with seeing the psychedelic mushroom – or maybe it was because of the psychedelic mushroom – the food was delicious!

 
14 Comments

Posted by on 08/08/2018 in Bacon

 

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Texts from Bacon

How do you make the day go by faster?  Of course by texting mommy at the worky place – snorts.  My texts are in blue and moms are in gray.  Hey what can I say?  There’s never a dull moment here at the Hotel Thompson.  Enjoy my friends!

 
10 Comments

Posted by on 08/02/2018 in Bacon

 

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Assault, Battery and Money Laundering

 
6 Comments

Posted by on 07/29/2018 in Bacon

 

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Paw Time with Houdini

Mom really how could you?  Okay I get it.  You have a shoe fetish.  I used to have one too but you broke me of that.  I get that.  But you come home with these shoes.  Really?  They have D.O.G.S. on them.  And hey get this – they are not of me.  So how could you?  I feel betrayed.  I think this look tells you everything I’m feeling.  Now be a nice sport about it.  Take those shoes off so I can take care of them if you know what I mean. 🙂

P.S.  These are mom’s new shoes.  They are Skecher BOB’s and are awesome.  I know when she wears them, she is thinking of me.  And mom says they are the most comfortable pair of shoes she has ever had.  That’s gotta mean something, right?

 

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Daddy Has Big Balls

Did that get your attention?  Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on 07/26/2018 in Bacon

 

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