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Don Juan Has Done It Now!

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How in the world am I going to explain this picture to mommy?  It looks like that little psycho elf has been into mom’s pictures and sent them to a certain magazine which has made its way to the big man and his elves.

Shakes piggy head.  This can’t be good.  Look at their faces?!  Oh dear piggy heavens.  How am I ever going to tell mommy what Don Juan has done this time?!  What will daddy think?

You gotta help me friends.  How do I break it gently to my mom that her private pictures may not be so private anymore and that she might be on Santa’s naughty list… but he might like it?  Snorts.

Don Juan is in deep doo-doo here at the Hotel Thompson. Shakes piggy head and walks away with daddy’s credit card.  I gotta buy all of these off the market so she doesn’t see the cover.

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Posted by on December 11, 2017 in 25 Days of Christmas, Bacon

 

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Don Juan’s Powers are Strong

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Lord have mercy.  Is it after Christmas yet my friends?  Please tell me it’s soon – really soon – not soon enough for my liking.  You see I can admit it.  Don Juan’s powers are strong here.  That evil little elf on the shelf needs to go back to where he came.  I’m going to need therapy after all of his antics this year.

You see, this morning I went into the front room like I do every day.  I was minding my own business, snorting and wobbling to the kitchen.  I passed through the living room and saw Houdini.  He barked.  I snorted.  You know to say hey to each other.  That’s when I stopped in my piggy tracks.

Houdini was dressed up like an elf.  WTP (What the pig!).  I asked the little guy what happened.  He said he thought he heard chattering last night in bed and this was how he woke up.  Oh dear piggy heavens.  You mean Don Juan sneaked into his bedroom and put this ridiculous outfit on him while he was sleeping?!  Shivers – I may not be able to sleep myself alone now until after the elf goes back into hibernation for the season.

I admit it.  This scares me.  Houdini didn’t know what happened.  Somehow he slept through it all?  How is that?  How can you sleep through being dressed?

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19 Comments

Posted by on December 8, 2017 in 25 Days of Christmas, Bacon

 

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Paw Time with Houdini

Sometimes I have to admit that dad knows how to pick a shirt out for me.  Barks with puppy laughter.  On this shirt, I can say that we are two of a kind in agreement of our priorities from shopping. A pup can *never* have too many clothes.  Dad got this one for me to add to my wardrobe.  I needed something because tomorrow I’m finally going to my pet spa.  And trust me, this pooch needs a spa day.  I’ve spent the past couple of months pushing it.  Mom/dad went off to Australia and then when they got back mom had surgery.  I couldn’t leave mom during that time.  I had to be here in case she needed me.  You know, a dog’s work is never done.  So last night, I text my groomer Kim and told her I was a hot mess and needed the works – bubble bath, massage, cut and some me time.  I can’t wait to see her tomorrow.  I wonder if she does hot stone treatments?  Anyway, hopefully tomorrow night I will feel so much better.  Hope ya’ll have a great weekend as well.  Now I leave you with dad.  Of course my apologies up front.  He’s getting ready for the fat man coming at the end of the month.

 
 

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Oh No He Didn’t!

There I was this morning just like any other morning in my bedroom warm and tucked into bed.  I woke up because I knew through my internal alarm that it was time to get mommy up for her worky place.

I went to get mommy up but her bedroom door was shut.  That’s when I heard someone in the kitchen.  I got kind of excited then because I thought mommy beat me out of bed and was cooking my breakfast.  I yawned and softly walked down the hall with my hooves tapping against the wood floors.

I get to the kitchen and guess what? The piggy gate is open.  That’s odd but then again mommy is up, right?  So I walk into the kitchen.  That’s when I started shivering.  I saw that evil Don Juan on the stove cooking.  He motioned for me to come on over cause he had my breakfast ready.  That six inch tall rat is going down for this!

 
24 Comments

Posted by on December 7, 2017 in 25 Days of Christmas, Bacon

 

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Mistletoe Bacon – Smooches

 My dear friends – I can let Bashful think that he is the only one with swag these days.  In prepping for Christmas, I’m going to wear this head clip ALL.DAY.LONG.  Hey, I’m sweet.  I’m loveable.  I’m cuddly.  Who Wants to Kiss the Bacon First?20131208-205853.jpg

 
19 Comments

Posted by on December 7, 2017 in Bacon

 

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25 Days of Christmas

 
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Posted by on December 6, 2017 in 25 Days of Christmas

 

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Okay – Now the Freak is Pushing It

  I am not amused – meows.  There I was minding my own business and that pesky little elf freak jumped on my back.  It wasn’t bad enough that mom dressed me up.  She must think I’m Houdini with these clothes – and trust me friends – she would be so very wrong.

I’m a man cat… a Hemingway if you will.  We don’t do clothes or pesky elves.  Don Juan does realize that my claws are out. now.

I’m putting you on notice freak adventure.  It will be pay back time soon.  This may be the year you go down.

Signed Hemi

 
15 Comments

Posted by on December 5, 2017 in 25 Days of Christmas, Bacon

 

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