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Rocky’s Nut Brunch

Here is an interesting fact for you.  Often I hear mom/dad go to bed and when they settle I always notice they are holding hands.  I’ve often wondered about this and the reasoning behind it.  I finally asked and they told me.  They are lifetime otters.  Really no joking.

Otters hold hands when they go to sleep so that they don’t drift away from each other.  aaww – now isn’t that cute?  Now I know why mom/dad hold hands when they sleep.

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Posted by on February 11, 2018 in Rocky's Nut Brunch

 

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Are You Ready for Some Bowl Games??

 First off, let’s talk about the most important bowl game today – Puppy Bowl. The show starts promptly at 3PM on the Animal Planet.  If you’ve never seen the Puppy Bowl, you really need to watch it today.  It is totally awesome and keeps me busy cheering for hours.  Daddy has his game later today (which I’ll tell you about in a minute) and I have my game with the Puppy Bowl.

And don’t think that the Puppy Bowl is just about a lot of puppies on the screen doing nothing.  There’s actually a referee, puppy touchdowns, penalties, timeouts and substitutions.  That’s right – it’s a Puppy Bowl to see!

The rules are easy.  Puppies go on the field and when a puppy drags one of the football shaped toys into the end zone, a puppy touchdown is declared.  If a puppy has an accident on the field by ‘going to the bathroom’, a penalty is called.  If the water bowls need to be refilled or puppies get into a fight, timeouts are called.  And, you know what they call it when the puppies get into squabbles?  Unnecessary rrruuufffness.  Snorts.  And if the puppies fall asleep, substitutions are sent in to play.

Over the years, they’ve had different ‘cheerleaders’.  In the past, I’ve seen hedgehogs, bunny cheerleaders, chicken cheerleaders and my favorite in 2012 was the Piggy Pep Squad.  Personally, I think they need to bring the Piggy Pep Squad back.  I would *so* want to try out  for the team.  I think I have what it takes.  I have the look.  I have the chemistry.  I have the personality.  I can dance.

But if the Puppy Bowl doesn’t it do it for you, you can always wait for dad’s game later today at 6:30PM.  THE Super Bowl.  Two really good teams will be going head to head – New England Patriots vs Philadelphia Eagles.

And don’t forget the half time show on the Super Bowl either.  This year they are going to have Justin Timberlake performing.

And the other thing about the Super Bowl, you *have* to watch the commercials.  They are usually the most hilarious commercials to remember for the night.  So my friends, get your snacks and drinks ready.  Go to the potty early so you can enjoy all of the fun today.  Get comfy on the couch.  I’m going to be watching the shows all day long.  And hopefully, mom will pop me some popcorn.

Are you ready for some football!?

 
21 Comments

Posted by on February 4, 2018 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon


Dear Bacon – These chickens are forever pestering the heck out of me when I’m in the yard.  I don’t care where I go, they follow me around like pesky dogs pecking at everything.  I can’t even use the giant scratch box outside anywhere in private without them being there to disturb me.  Well I think I finally got one up on them.  They can’t get through the front door.  The can look like like peeping chickens but not get in.  So I did something just to tick them off.  I stretched out on the floor and was blowing butt biscuits their way.  Eventually the smell hit them.  Rolls and purrs with kitty laughter.  Maybe they will leave me alone now.  You think?  Signed Butt Biscuits

Dear Butt Biscuits – OMP!  I usually call them food ghosts but I think I like butt biscuits from now on.  Those chickens need to understand there is  a line to be drawn of leaving fellow anipals alone.  We have some chicks next door to us.  They fly everywhere – even in my magical backyard.  They drive me nuts too.  Just wait until the next time I’m out there.  I’m going to throw them a butt biscuit – snorts and rolls with piggy laughter!


Dear Bacon – Sometimes one just knows when their humans are not having a great day.  It could be from the sighs they make when they come through the doorway, the dismantled look they have with their clothes or it could be the fact that they kick their shoes off – or already have them off – by the time they come through the threshold.  Whatever the reason it is, sometimes us anipals need to make sure we step up and have the home front ready for them.  Take for instance this case, my human daddy had a very rough day.  I put on my finest attire and had a glass of wine waiting for him.  I think it brightened his day.  So much so that he didn’t notice my new jewels on my neck.  We’ll save that part of telling him when he gets the credit card bill.  Barks! Signed Tiffany

Dear Tiffany – I like the way you think.  I need to do this for mom the next time she comes home all disheveled from doing monthly statistics.  Sometimes when she does this, she can’t even remember her name.   Your awesome!  And when your dad gets the credit card bill, blame it on the poodle next door.


Dear Bacon – It’s embarrassing.  Really it is.  No it’s not the scarf or the clothes.  It’s not even the hair.  It’s embarrassing that my human can’t pick a better place to take my picture than leaning against this tree.  I mean dude, look there is a rink behind me.  I could be ice skating and showing off my skills for a picture of a lifetime.  But no… the human thinks this trees adds to my dimension.  What an idiot.  Signed Much More

Dear Much More – I believe it!  I really do.  I know you are much more than just a gorgeous face.  Maybe hire someone on the side to help you out with your photo shoots.  Just think of the money you could make showing off those awesome skills!  Get to work.  I can’t wait to see them.


Dear Bacon – My humans love me so much that they had me a special blanket made just for me.  And everyone should know that this blanket is mine and only mine.  What do you think about it?  You want one too, don’t you?  Signed Sexy and I Know It

Dear Sexy and I Know It – YES! YES! YES!  I want one too.  I think it is absolutely gorgeous.  It just shows how special you are and nobody can say it’s not your blanket.  Use it with pride sweet friend!

 
10 Comments

Posted by on January 23, 2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Baconsss – My humansss say sssafety first.  I’m a truess believer in that.  Whenever we goesss out for a ride, I alwaysss buckle up.  You never knowss when you might have to make a quick stopsss.  Do you wearsss a sssafety belt during your travelsss?  Signed Seymour

Dear Seymour – Gulps.  Yes.  I do practice safety first.  But I have to say if I was traveling down the street and you pulled up next to me, I would probably also pee on myself.  I’m just being truthful.  Double Gulps.

.


Dear Bacon – The human must suffer.  It’s not bad enough that they dressed me up in cardboard but to dress me up as a cat as well.  Shaking my doggy head.  No.  They will suffer.  I foresee chewed up slippers and/or poop in said slippers in their future.  And of course this ridiculous cardboard box will be torn to shreds upon me getting it off.  That’s a promise.  Signed Pissed Pooch

Dear Pissed Pooch – Shaking my head.  OMP – I so feel you my friend.  What was your humans thinking?  Honestly – were they eating mushrooms?  Who dresses their dog up as a cat?  Looks at my mother – don’t even dare!


Dear Bacon – Okay I admit it.  Maybe – and that’s stretching maybe a long way – I watch too many war movies.  But really, who doesn’t?  It’s usually what’s on television when the humans leave to go make money to keep me in nibbles.  Some of these movies are totally awesome.  I’ll also admit that some of them can be like really scary with all of that blowing up things and loud noises.  But I digress.  So maybe I take it a little too far these days with my outfit.  But hey, why can’t us hamsters dress up too, right?  Signed Rambo

Dear Rambo – Dude, now *that* is a picture that is priceless.  I love it!  Look at you in all of your combat.  You are like the happening hamster ever!  I say there is nothing wrong with watching war movies.  And hey, if you get a little scared, there’s always crawling under a blanket or jumping on the mute button.


Dear Bacon – Humans play doctor.  Why can’t I?  That’s what I thought so I did something about it.  I put on my scrubs and got out my doggy and went to town playing.  He has a tibial shaft fracture but it is stable.  He he will survive.  Healing will take some time but he will be up and running in no time for sure.  Hey if you got it, you got it.  Do you ever play doctor Bacon?  Signed Dr. Hottie Pants

Dear Dr. Hottie Pants – Well you go there my friend.  You look better than any doctor I know for sure.  You have skills.  Everyone plays doctor.  Sometimes I still hear daddy playing doctor with mom.  It’s weird at their age though.  Keep that in mind.

 

 
14 Comments

Posted by on January 16, 2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Merry Christmas

Last night, I made a deal with Hemi and Houdini.  We were going to hang out near the Mickey Mouse lamp pole all night in hopes of seeing the mysterious Santa Claus.  Mom/dad told us all that he wouldn’t come as long as our eyes were open.  So in preparation, we taped them open just in case Mr. Sandman came first.  We waited and waited to no avail.  Hemi and Houdini got frustrated and went to mom/dad’s room to sleep on the Select Comfort.  I myself was determined.  I mean hey, they don’t call me pig headed for nothing, right?  Snorts.

So I waited and waited – no snow – no reindeers – no fatman in red.  I was having a hard time trying to stay awake.  I jumped on the sofa and that was a big mistake.  Before I knew it, my eyes were droopy, my breathing had slowed and I had drifted off to peace on earth.

I’m not sure how much time had passed but something awakened me and it wasn’t my gas.  I kept one eye closed and barely opened the other.  To my surprise I saw a big fat guy all in red.  He was quietly putting pretty wrapped presents around the pole that he had first mistaken as a stripper pole – oh dear Lord.  But hold everything and wait a minute what is that caught my attention?  A woman was beside him wearing next to nothing.  No wonder for his confusion on the pole.  The next thing that happened scarred me for life when Santa grabbed said woman and gave her a kiss to last.  OMP (oh my pig).  What was that?  She turned and grinned and I saw it wasn’t a woman – it was my mom!  What will daddy think – what will daddy say.  I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus.  THUD – piggy down.

I shut my eyes so very fast.  This is not something that a pig wants to last.  When I reopened my eyes much to my amazement, everyone was gone but the presents were still there – all decorated – all wrapped – tucked in neatly around the Mickey Mouse pole lamp.  But something caught my eye in the corner near one box.  It was green and waving, “Come take a look”.  I quietly exited off my sofa and softly hooved my way across the floor.  Oh dear Lord – it was a $20.00 bill – I guess Santa did get a dance from the lap pole after all.

I squealed and ran down to my room in a hurry and tucked myself in to my toddler bed.  When then what did I hear?  Soft taps on the roof, a jingle of bells and in a loud bellow I heard a man say, “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”

 

 
23 Comments

Posted by on December 25, 2017 in Bacon

 

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That’ll Teach The Little Elf Freak

Meow our fellow followers.  Hemi here for your amusement.  We told you the little freak Don Juan would go down.  We may have pushed him over the edge last night.  Talk about getting even.

We waited until everyone here at the Hotel Thompson went to sleep.  In fact, we even acted like we were sleeping.  Then when darkness came down and the snoring from the humans started, me and Houdini crept into the living room to wait for the creep.. I mean Don Juan to make his nightly visit.

That’s when we heard him.  He was in the liquor cabinet.  That is strictly off limits.  You have to be over five feet to enter that zone and trust me guys – he is not.  He barely makes it over 10 inches.  He crawled up into the cabinet and made himself a Bloody Mary – one of mom’s precious favorites.

When he wasn’t looking, I put some Tabasco sauce in the drink.  Have you heard of the book Fifty Shades of Grey?  Well, that little rascal turned fifty shades of various red after choking down the hot sauce.  Meows and rolls around laughing.  Score for the ninja kitty!

 
9 Comments

Posted by on December 20, 2017 in 25 Days of Christmas, Bacon

 

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NO HE DIDN’T!

  I. hate. Don. Juan.

There you go.  That elf needs to be stopped NOW… like yesterday.  He is evil pure and simple.  I woke up this morning all bright eyed and bushy tailed.  I stretched my hooves, yawned and tooted.  What?  You don’t do that in the mornings?  I then rolled over to look at my picture of Miss Piggy on my night stand and got the shock of my little piggy life.  My Miss Piggy picture was gone and in it’s place was this hideous, nightmarish joke from Don Juan.  I squealed so loudly that I think Nana heard me all the way up the street.  The nerve of this so called elf for Santa.  I’m writing the head elf of the Union.  This can’t go on anymore.  Shivers and looks in every corner of my bedroom.

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19 Comments

Posted by on December 18, 2017 in 25 Days of Christmas, Bacon

 

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