Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Sometimes I smell things.  And then I see things.  No, i’m not a ghost.  You see it seems like the yard next to me has it going on with Stacy’s mom.  She’s always grilling and hanging out near the pool.  I just want to go over and play.  The other day, the laughter and the smells were so wonderful.  I stuck my head under the gate to see what was taking place.  I wasn’t really stuck but I acted like it to get everyone’s attention.  They came to the gate and invited me over.  What a party!  Signed Pup of the Party

Dear Pup of the Party – Hey dude, it sounds like you had the plan for the party.  You got an invite – I knew you would with that cute little grin.  Now go and play like a good fellow – tell Stacy’s mom I said hey.

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Dear Bacon – My master likes to play in the yard and work the ground for a garden.  Rolls my doggy eyes.  I’ll help to a certain point – especially when he is planting the watermelon.  Who doesn’t love watermelon, right?  This is me helping my master out by holding his tools.  And I always say safety first – wear a hat to keep the sun out of your face.  Signed Garden Patch

Dear Garden Patch – Hey my friend I like the way you think.  Maybe your master should give my mom some lessons on growing watermelons.  I love those big balls of wonder.  They are so tasty – I even like eating the rind.  Licks piggy lips.  Now look what you have done.  My miniature pot-belly is rumbling for the hungry of a watermelon.  Maybe its not too late in the stores for mom to pick me up one?  I love you being a helping paw.  I think the humans could use more of them.  Take care my friend – happy gardening.

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Dear Bacon – You *always* have that one sibling that can’t keep their tongue out of your ear.  Purrs in aggravation.  Dory has been ‘grooming’ my ear now for twenty minutes.  Can you please make her go away?  If I screech at her, she’ll run to mommy that I’m not playing nice.  Girls – eeww.  Signed Marlin

Dear Marlin – Girls.  That’s all you had to say my friend.  You can’t live with them and you definitely can’t live without them.  You have nerves of steel to let your sister Dory bother you for that long.  Hopefully, it will be over soon.  If not, perhaps you can stretch and tell her you need a bathroom break.  Just a thought!

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Dear Bacon – I am not amused.  Really, I’m not.  The human insisted that I needed a bath.  I could have done my own thank you very much.  But no – the human wanted to give me one.  Help me.  That’s all I gotta say and I’m thinking my look says it all.  Signed Cat in a Shower Cap

Dear Cat in a Shower Cap – Well, wait a minute I need to get a straight face for this, you look all nice and clean.  How ironical that your mom picked out a Tweety Bird towel for you.  It’s kind of fitting.  And that shower cap – OMP – perfect.  No sense in getting water in those cute little perky ears.  Go with it my friend.

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Dear Bacon –  Some people use dowsing rods to find paranormal activity.  I don’t need those.  Some people even use a sixth sense to find paranormal activity.  I don’t need those either.  Heck, I don’t need to find anything paranormal.  I just need to find food.  And let me tell you, with these ears of mine I can find all of the food I want.  They lead me and I follow.  There’s much to appreciate in letting your ears lead you.  Signed Food on the Run

Dear Food on the Run – I say let it be my friend – let it be!  Lead on to the food and pig out!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – What are friends?  Friends let you have the soft spot so that you can snuggle down and sleep.  This is my pal Henry.  He is the bestest friend in the entire world.  I was so tired and he didn’t want me to sleep on the hard ground so he offered his back just like a perfect gentleman.  I want your readers to take note – always put your friends first.  Signed Betsy

Dear Betsy – That is absolutely wonderful and delightful to see.  Friendship is so important and that my friend is awesome to see in today’s time and day.  I know that if someone wanted a soft place to sleep, I would gladly give up my back for a couple of hours or so.  I say spread the news – more love and less hate!

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  Dear Bacon – Hey pal.  This is me at the spa.  I love the spa treatments but I hate water in my ears.  So my spa lady, she came up with the best idea – a shower cap.  Might I say this is genius!  And yeah, if you look closely in m picture you will also see my spa buddy – my rubber ducky – hanging out with me.  Do you have this much at the spa?  Signed Dewey

Dear Dewey – WOW – No my friend.  I can’t say that I personally have that much fun at the spa.  Now my little brother Houdini, he might.  Last time he went to the spa, mom walked in on him chatting up with a cute little poodle that he met.  I’ve heard that the spa is the next best thing to Animal Harmony in meeting other anipals.  Let me know – have you found love there at your spa?

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  Dear Bacon – I admit it.  I didn’t jump hard or far enough.  I was shooting for the table where there was some food.  I may have underestimated and hit the garbage can.  Yep the humans heard.  Nope they didn’t help.  Of course they had to take a picture of my unfortunate landing for Facebook before rescuing me.  Isn’t that some kind of goat abuse or something?  Signed Merlin

Dear Merlin – Really?  Your humans took a picture of your unfortunate landing huh?  Well, might I suggest the next time your humans get – what does my mommy call it – tossed, take their picture.  What?  You don’t know what tossed is?  That’s when the humans drink that alcohol stuff too much and act whacky.  My mom calls it tossed.  Apparently they act worse then some anipals we know when they do this.  Have your camera aimed and ready to shoot their pictures my friends.  Karma is payback – snorts.

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Dear Bacon – What?  The humans left me alone all day long in this tiny little area to entertain myself while they went to work.  First up, no toys.  Therefore I had to find my own.  I can’t help it that those paper towels decided to blow up during our adventures together.  At least I didn’t destroy what the humans call their crap paper.  See, I’ve read on your Dear Bacon issues how important those rolls are to humans.  I still don’t get it.  We just crap and kick over it – done.  End of discussion.  Second up, there were lots of interesting wires and tube looking things behind the so called washer and dryer.  At least they didn’t start anything with me to finish.  So basically, I was a good dog, right?  So where’s my treat?  Signed Jinx

Dear Jinx – I like the way you think my friend.  If those towels had not talked back, they would still be worthy opponents this day.  I find no fault with that whatsoever.  And I do agree with you on the other.  I myself find the “crap and kick over” method worthy of moving along.  I mean heck I think if more humans did that, they would be a lot less stressed.  Maybe we can start a campaign or something?

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  Dear Bacon – Get in the car and let’s go!  I heard that Petsmart is giving out free cat treats to the first 100 customers.  They didn’t say those customers had to be humans.  We can do this – I can drive this car – sure I can.  BEEP BEEP Get out of the way humans.  Signed Felix

Dear Felix – You know I think I’m with you.  That’s honesty in advertising.  If they didn’t say humans, why not?  I wonder if I can pick up a few treats and toys while we are there.  I’ll grab dad’s credit card just in case.  I’ll be ready in five minutes!

.

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REMEMBER my friends, Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your letters and pictures via email. ❤ 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Sometimes I smell things.  And then I see things.  No, i’m not a ghost.  You see it seems like the yard next to me has it going on with Stacy’s mom.  She’s always grilling and hanging out near the pool.  I just want to go over and play.  The other day, the laughter and the smells were so wonderful.  I stuck my head under the gate to see what was taking place.  I wasn’t really stuck but I acted like it to get everyone’s attention.  They came to the gate and invited me over.  What a party!  Signed Pup of the Party

Dear Pup of the Party – Hey dude, it sounds like you had the plan for the party.  You got an invite – I knew you would with that cute little grin.  Now go and play like a good fellow – tell Stacy’s mom I said hey.

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Dear Bacon – My master likes to play in the yard and work the ground for a garden.  Rolls my doggy eyes.  I’ll help to a certain point – especially when he is planting the watermelon.  Who doesn’t love watermelon, right?  This is me helping my master out by holding his tools.  And I always say safety first – wear a hat to keep the sun out of your face.  Signed Garden Patch

Dear Garden Patch – Hey my friend I like the way you think.  Maybe your master should give my mom some lessons on growing watermelons.  I love those big balls of wonder.  They are so tasty – I even like eating the rind.  Licks piggy lips.  Now look what you have done.  My miniature pot-belly is rumbling for the hungry of a watermelon.  Maybe its not too late in the stores for mom to pick me up one?  I love you being a helping paw.  I think the humans could use more of them.  Take care my friend – happy gardening.

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Dear Bacon – You *always* have that one sibling that can’t keep their tongue out of your ear.  Purrs in aggravation.  Dory has been ‘grooming’ my ear now for twenty minutes.  Can you please make her go away?  If I screech at her, she’ll run to mommy that I’m not playing nice.  Girls – eeww.  Signed Marlin

Dear Marlin – Girls.  That’s all you had to say my friend.  You can’t live with them and you definitely can’t live without them.  You have nerves of steel to let your sister Dory bother you for that long.  Hopefully, it will be over soon.  If not, perhaps you can stretch and tell her you need a bathroom break.  Just a thought!

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Dear Bacon – I am not amused.  Really, I’m not.  The human insisted that I needed a bath.  I could have done my own thank you very much.  But no – the human wanted to give me one.  Help me.  That’s all I gotta say and I’m thinking my look says it all.  Signed Cat in a Shower Cap

Dear Cat in a Shower Cap – Well, wait a minute I need to get a straight face for this, you look all nice and clean.  How ironical that your mom picked out a Tweety Bird towel for you.  It’s kind of fitting.  And that shower cap – OMP – perfect.  No sense in getting water in those cute little perky ears.  Go with it my friend.

.

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Dear Bacon –  Some people use dowsing rods to find paranormal activity.  I don’t need those.  Some people even use a sixth sense to find paranormal activity.  I don’t need those either.  Heck, I don’t need to find anything paranormal.  I just need to find food.  And let me tell you, with these ears of mine I can find all of the food I want.  They lead me and I follow.  There’s much to appreciate in letting your ears lead you.  Signed Food on the Run

Dear Food on the Run – I say let it be my friend – let it be!  Lead on to the food and pig out!

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REMEMBER friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your pictures and questions via email.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Uh-Oh’s

Last week, I was reading my friends blog at Evil Squirrel’s Nest about doing little projects around the house and how sometimes there are other issues that come from them. This made me think about things here at my crib and how we do little projects, etc.

When mom and dad first started dating – many, many, MANY moons ago – she learned really quickly that dad was not mechanically inclined.  Of course, she learned this the hard way.  You see, she had just gotten her first apartment and she bought a new hand held shower hose for the tub.  She asked daddy to exchange it with the current on the wall nozzle.  It sounded like a simple project.  Where that’s where you would be wrong.  Mom went into the front room and was talking on the phone to her dad while daddy exchanged out the nozzles.  A few minutes went by and mom heard some noise.  No biggy.  That’s when dad walked out of the bathroom, into the living room with his hands behind his back.  He said there was a problem.  Mom told her dad she had to go and daddy showed her what was behind her back.  The old nozzle and part of the wall – so much for being such a ‘simple project’.  Try explaining that situation to the apartment maintenance guy with a bigger project now.  Snorts – LOL

So mom learned early daddy was not the ‘go to’ guy.  Where mom on the other hoof was the project master.  Years later after they were married, mom got a wild hair that they needed to tile the bathtub area.  Mom went out to the local project store, talked with the men, got the supplies and came home telling dad that they were doing this project that weekend – which happened to be the long Thanksgiving holidays.  Daddy was scared while mom was it should be easy. And guess what.  Mom did it with flying colors and it still stands today.  Daddy was shocked that a project came together.  Of course it did – mom was in charge – double snorts.

And over the years, mom has initiated other projects that dad has ‘helped’ on with her that have surpassed what dad thought could actually happen.

So my friends here is the question for the day.  Are your parents do it themselves project makers or disasters in the making?  Do tell and share.

 

A Grapevine to Friendship?

Okay my friends – I have to ask.  Do you think I should buy this for the little guy here at the Hotel Thompson – Houdini?  Don’t you think that he would just look absolutely cute as heck wearing this?  Snorts – too much?  Not enough?

He’s an alright kind of guy – don’t tell him I said that.  You know we share a bedroom.  Do you know that he snores?  For a little six pound pup, he can shake the rafters.  Really, pig’s honor.  I’m not lying.

I just thought if I bought him a shirt – since he likes to dress up – it might show him that I do kind of like him… for a puppy.

So what do you think – yes or no for the shirt?  Snorts – happy Saturday!

 

Contest Time! – REMINDER

C O N T E S T     T I M E 

Don’t forget about our contest my friends. YAY!

Shake your tail feathers.  Do a little dance.  Have some fun – it’s contest time!  It’s so exciting.  We’ve been thinking about a contest here at the Hotel Thompson and I think we have a winner!

Every year at the Hotel Thompson the day after Thanksgiving our friend Don Juan comes out to play.  You remember Don Juan don’t you?  He’s our special little Elf on a Shelf that is *always* up to no good in so many different ways.   If you forgot about Don Juan, you can read about that little fellow here .  And we all have to remember when Don Juan filled in for me on a special Dear Bacon edition.  Oh dear piggy heavens.   Thank goodness he only sneaks out once a year.

I think we ALL remember this little surprise he left mommy last year under the Christmas tree.  Rolls piggy eyes.  He was bad.  I mean really bad.  He even liked to sneak in the bathroom and watch mommy take a shower.  He would throw skittles at her.  Unreal that fellow.

This year we thought we would share the fun.  That’s it.  Share the fun.  You can have your very own Evil Little Elf on a Shelf.  A friend of Don Juan has come to visit us here early.  He’s still boxed up because you know those elves don’t have secret powers until the day after Thanksgiving.

Here are the rules for the contest: 

1. Send me an email at baconthompson@gmail.com why you think you should adopt the boxed up Elf on the Shelf.  Explain what makes your family special and what you have to give.  Words, pictures or videos.  Whatever you think will give you the edge.

2. We are taking submissions until August 30th, 2014 at midnight.

3. We will randomly pick the top three submissions and post them for everyone to vote on in September.

4. The winner gets their very own boxed up Elf on the Shelf.  Now remember, this is a friend of our Don Juan.  Who knows if he is evil or good.  That’s between the winner and the boxed up Elf on the Shelf.

So put on your thinking hats my friends and get started with the emails.  It should be a blast!

 P.S.  Here’s a heads up sneak preview of the captured Elf.  He doesn’t look that evil – or does he?

 

Contest Time!

YAY!  Shake your tail feathers.  Do a little dance.  Have some fun – it’s contest time!  It’s so exciting.  We’ve been thinking about a contest here at the Hotel Thompson and I think we have a winner!

Every year at the Hotel Thompson the day after Thanksgiving our friend Don Juan comes out to play.  You remember Don Juan don’t you?  He’s our special little Elf on a Shelf that is *always* up to no good in so many different ways.   If you forgot about Don Juan, you can read about that little fellow here .  And we all have to remember when Don Juan filled in for me on a special Dear Bacon edition.  Oh dear piggy heavens.   Thank goodness he only sneaks out once a year.

I think we ALL remember this little surprise he left mommy last year under the Christmas tree.  Rolls piggy eyes.  He was bad.  I mean really bad.  He even liked to sneak in the bathroom and watch mommy take a shower.  He would throw skittles at her.  Unreal that fellow.

This year we thought we would share the fun.  That’s it.  Share the fun.  You can have your very own Evil Little Elf on a Shelf.  A friend of Don Juan has come to visit us here early.  He’s still boxed up because you know those elves don’t have secret powers until the day after Thanksgiving.

Here are the rules for the contest: 

1. Send me an email at baconthompson@gmail.com why you think you should adopt the boxed up Elf on the Shelf.  Explain what makes your family special and what you have to give.  Words, pictures or videos.  Whatever you think will give you the edge.  (Remember to give your blog address – thanks)

2. We are taking submissions until August 30th, 2014 at midnight.

3. We will randomly pick the top three submissions and post them for everyone to vote on in September.

4. The winner gets their very own boxed up Elf on the Shelf.  Now remember, this is a friend of our Don Juan.  Who knows if he is evil or good.  That’s between the winner and the boxed up Elf on the Shelf.

So put on your thinking hats my friends and get started with the emails.  It should be a blast!

 

 

 

Humans are Weird

That’s right.  I said it out loud.  Humans are weird.  Mine have *got* to be at the top of the list.  Rolls piggy eyes.  I think this sign, “Beware All Ye Who Enter” should be on our front door. It was a strange Sunday yesterday.  Mom and dad got up and piddled around the Hotel Thompson.  Then mom sat on her sofa and looked at dad across from her sitting on his sofa playing what of course – Angry Birds.  That’s when it started.  I wanted to know what was going on so I jumped on the sofa with mom.  It kind of went like this:

MOM:  “Whatcha doing?”

DAD:  “Nothing much.”

Oh poor daddy of mine – when will you ever learn NOT to say those words to mom – snorts

MOM:  “Good, we need to clean the bathroom today”.

DAD:  “I’m busy.”

MOM:  “No you’re not.  You just said you were doing nothing.”

Mom wins every battle this way – snorts.  Daddy mumbled something about when he found this “WE” fellow he was going to beat him up bad.  But he was a good man, he got up and followed mom down the hall.  You’re probably saying, “What’s the big deal?  It’s just cleaning the bathroom”.  That’s where you would be wrong – snorts.  Mom was wanting to CLEAN the entire bathroom – as in walls, tub, sink, floor, cabinets, changing shower curtain – the entire works.  And of course with mom’s arthritis, she can’t get in and grove like she once did.  That’s where daddy comes in – she needed his quote “Brute strength”.

They went in and shut the door.  They wouldn’t let any of us anipals inside with them.  We heard a lot of giggles.  A lot of laughter.  Something about WE was going to have to die from daddy.  Things got thrown in the hallway.  The laundry basket, trash, clothes – what *WERE* they doing in there?  They were in the bathroom for over an hour!

Then the door opened – WOW – you could hear the angels singing it was that sparkly.  I was in piggy awe.  And then mom did the thing she said she “deserved” after all of that – she took the smelliest bubble bath I’ve ever seen.

Do your parents do weird things like this?

 

Snorts – That Should Give Mom a Heart Attack

Poor mom.  I think daddy is actually trying to throw her over the edge.  I wonder if he’s taking out an insurance policy on her lately?  I must check this.  What?  I watch enough of crime television.  Snorts – I just joke.  We are looking for a new shower curtain for the bathroom.

Is it bad enough that he found this shower curtain on line? Can you imagine taking a shower and seeing this?  Or better yet, I can see mommy getting up in the middle of the night, going to the bathroom and seeing this.  I just *know* she would squeal louder than me.  Would you?

I mean it does have character – snorts – and it would be fun.  Daddy saw it and laughed like a little hyena.  Of course, he showed it to me.  I told him not to do it.  I gently reminder him of what happened a couple of weeks ago when he said “BOO” to mom.  We don’t want that to happen again now do we?

But dad, he doesn’t learn.  He kept surfing the net and came across a floormat for the bathroom as well.  Shakes piggy head.  Daddy is so going to get in trouble.  This floor mat turns ‘red’ when you get out of the shower and water hits it.  Of course, thus it looks like blood… a crime scene if you will.

Between the shower curtain and the floor mat, I can see daddy getting knocked into the middle of next week – snorts.  But I have to admit, that floormat does look fun.

Have a great day my friends!

 

That Evil Elf on the Shelf

Go ahead, you can admit it.  That little Elf on the Shelf is evil looking.  You just *know* he’s up to trouble.  What?  You don’t know who he is?  Well my friend, you might just be one of the lucky ones during this holiday season.

The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition came out in 2005 in a children’s book.  The little Elf that comes with the book has a job between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve.  His main job is to watch over the household and report back to the North Pole nightly on if the people are naughty or nice.  He comes back to the household by morning.  There’s one important thing about the Elf.  You don’t touch him as doing so will erase any Christmas magic that has been blessed upon him.  Every morning that he comes back from the North Pole, people in the household find him in different places.  But remember, it’s all magic!

.

Cute story idea huh?  Sure it is.  But, have you seen this Elf?  Look to the left.  Shivers – he’s kind of a got a look in those eyes that makes you not want to turn your back to him.  And the idea of having him watching ‘over’ your household and reporting back to Santa every night, that’s kind of eerie.  It’s great on one hand when small children are in the home.  They walk the line with this little guy around.  I’m not sure if they are afraid of getting caught being naughty or if they are just plain scared of the psycho Elf.  He kind of reminds me of clowns… and that makes me want to run to my bedroom and hide under my toddler bed.

But I digress.  We have a Elf on the Shelf at the Hotel Thompson. Mom insists on dragging him out of the attic (great place for him all year) for Christmas.  There’s no kids here unless you count us anipals and daddy.  But mom insists. Every Thanksgiving, Elffie comes out and the story book is read.  And the good thing about these elves, you get to name yours.  Don’t ask me why because I believe it has to be a twist on a twist but ours is named Don Juan.  How ironic huh?

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m afraid of that little six inch freak and so are the purr things.  We have had our moments of trying to ‘kidnap’ him and finish him off to no avail.  And supposedly Santa Claus has bestowed Christmas magic on him so he moves around the Hotel Thompson.  Yesterday morning, I woke up in my toddler bed and he was sleeping beside me looking at me with that mystic face.  I squealed so loudly that I think I woke up our neighbors.  That little misfit needs to stay out of my room thank you very much.  And, it’s not just me he’s doing stuff with.  Hemi, one of the purr things here, woke up the day before with that little creature asleep on his back.  Hemi hissed to the high heavens and swatted at it with his big paw.

And, our friends – snorts.  They are going through the same thing this time of the year with their ‘magical’ elves.  One of dad’s buddies got up one morning, stumbled to the bathroom and took a shower.  When he looked up, their little voyeur elf was watching him over the shower curtain.  Talk about a psycho moment.

The same household as the shower episode, the next day the man’s wife found their little elf in her lingerie drawer.  WTP (what the pig!)  No wonder people walk on eggshells around the holidays with these little monsters running rampid.

So tell me, do you have a mischievous little elf in your house during the holidays?  Is he getting into trouble or is he behaving (which I would find very strange).  I’m thinking that all of these elves are cloned in the same factory of trouble.  Perhaps us anipals need to ban together and write a letter to the Elf Union.  These guys are trouble – I’m telling you TROUBLE.