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Hokey Pokey Crime 

 
10 Comments

Posted by on 06/11/2017 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Nothing to see here.  Really there’s not.  I was just having a prayer meeting with Mr. Kitty.  That’s all.  Doggy Scouts Honor.  Signed Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Dear Innocent Until Proven Guilty – Oh wow my friend.  How could anyone think anything other than just a prayer meeting was going on in that picture?  I mean Mr. Kitty just would normally be cornered standing up straight with his hands down.  Now to think of though – if it was a prayer meeting, why wasn’t his hands up?  You gotta think about these questions that might come up.  And the look on his face – well that doesn’t say Amen to me.  I’m just telling you like I see it.


 

   Dear Bacon – The humans came home early.  How dare them.  Don’t they know that once the leave for work, this crib is mine for eight hours or more?  Here I was taking a little dip in the inside pool.  They walked in like I was killing the pet bird or something.  Honestly, some people.  If they didn’t want me to swim in the pool, don’t leave the lid up.  Signed Skinny Dipping

Dear Skinny Dipping – Remind me not to get to close to your snuggles when I visit.  I don’t think that contraption is made for your swimming convenience.  I’ve seen what my daddy does in it.  It’s not pretty.  Trust me on that.  Shivers.


 

  Dear Bacon – Can you believe my owner accused me of getting into her so called make up?  I did not touch her war paint.  No I didn’t.  You can’t prove these things.  She didn’t see me in it.  Hhummphh – I think I’ll go take a walk outside now.  Signed Painted Lady

Dear Painted Lady –  Uumm, you might want to rethink your stand on the no touchy of the war paint.  Go look in the mirror.  I think you will ‘see’ what is giving you away.  Although I do like the color of your paws and mouth, it looks like that lipstick didn’t get away.  One shade darker and it would look like a crime scene happened at your crib with you being the victim.  Of course on the other hoof, that would make an awesome Halloween costume.  Crime Scene or Street Walker – you make the call – snorts with piggy laughter.

 


 

 Dear Bacon – This may look like shredded paper all over the floor but it’s not.  I have a perfectly good excuse for this.  You see my humans leave me in the kitchen while they go to make the money to keep me in the life I’ve grown accustomed.  Well, I’ve watched my mom clip her so called coupons all the time.  If you look closer at these papers, they are coupons.  I was just trying to lend a helping paw and help her out.  You know, to give her more time to pet and play with me.  You understand, right?  Signed Coupon Clipper

Dear Coupon Clipper – I give you one for helping and participating in the household budget my friend.  Unfortunately though, I don’t think those coupons will work the way you cut them.  I’m sure your mom understood your willing to help.  Maybe next time, you let her do the clipping with one hand while she pets you with the other.


 

REMEMBER my friends – Dear Bacon can’t help without your participation. Keep sending your letters and pictures to my email address.  Snorts and Oinks!

 
8 Comments

Posted by on 10/13/2015 in Dear Bacon

 

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Happy Birthday

Today is a special day.  Today is my human daddy’s birthday. If it wasn’t for him and mom, I wouldn’t be living at the Hotel Thompson and writing a blog.  I can only imagine where my little oinker life would have ended up.

So today dad, I want to take a minute to be serious.  I want to thank you for adopting me.  I want to thank you for keeping me safe and a roof over my head.  I want to thank you for feeding me and slipping me things when mommy isn’t looking.  I want to thank you for cleaning my room.  I want to thank you for the snuggles.  I want to thank you for your love.  I want to thank you for keeping that purr thing Hemi from swiping my hiney.  I want to thank you for doing my laundry.  I want to thank you for cooking and preparing my meals.

Okay, that’s enough gushy love and seriousness – snorts.  Here’s daddy doing what daddy does best – acting silly.

Happy birthday daddy!

 
39 Comments

Posted by on 01/06/2015 in Bacon

 

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Snorts – That Should Give Mom a Heart Attack

Poor mom.  I think daddy is actually trying to throw her over the edge.  I wonder if he’s taking out an insurance policy on her lately?  I must check this.  What?  I watch enough of crime television.  Snorts – I just joke.  We are looking for a new shower curtain for the bathroom.

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Is it bad enough that he found this shower curtain on line? Can you imagine taking a shower and seeing this?  Or better yet, I can see mommy getting up in the middle of the night, going to the bathroom and seeing this.  I just *know* she would squeal louder than me.  Would you?

I mean it does have character – snorts – and it would be fun.  Daddy saw it and laughed like a little hyena.  Of course, he showed it to me.  I told him not to do it.  I gently reminder him of what happened a couple of weeks ago when he said “BOO” to mom.  We don’t want that to happen again now do we?

20140330-185106.jpgBut dad, he doesn’t learn.  He kept surfing the net and came across a floormat for the bathroom as well.  Shakes piggy head.  Daddy is so going to get in trouble.  This floor mat turns ‘red’ when you get out of the shower and water hits it.  Of course, thus it looks like blood… a crime scene if you will.

Between the shower curtain and the floor mat, I can see daddy getting knocked into the middle of next week – snorts.  But I have to admit, that floormat does look fun.

Have a great day my friends!

 
34 Comments

Posted by on 04/11/2014 in Bacon

 

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Happy Birthday

Today is a special day.  Today is my adopted daddy’s birthday. If it wasn’t for him and mom, I wouldn’t be living at the Hotel Thompson and writing a blog.  I can only imagine where my little oinker life would have ended up.

So today dad, I want to take a minute to be serious.  I want to thank you for adopting me.  I want to thank you for keeping me safe and a roof over my head.  I want to thank you for feeding me and slipping me things when mommy isn’t looking.  I want to thank you for cleaning my room.  I want to thank you for the snuggles.  I want to thank you for your love.  I want to thank you for keeping that purr thing Hemi from swiping my hiney.  I want to thank you for doing my laundry.  I want to thank you for cooking and preparing my meals.

Okay, that’s enough gushy love and seriousness – snorts.  Now, here is your birthday card – Happy birthday daddy!

 
51 Comments

Posted by on 01/06/2014 in Bacon

 

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Crime Scene Photographs

20121116-070309.jpgAll I can say is that my mom works with a bunch of sickos.  They thought this shirt was funny.  Yes it might be in a way if I wasn’t on there!

 

 

LOL

 
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Posted by on 11/16/2012 in Uncategorized

 

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