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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m getting too old to be the party dog in the crowd.  My friends are trying to have an intervention with me and took this picture.  I really didn’t think I had gotten that bad but pictures don’t lie, right?  Between the beer and the shots of tequila, I was out for the night.  I guess it’s time for me to reach out for help.  What do you suggest?  Signed Boozer

Dear Boozer – You are right my little friend.  Admission is the first step and you have taken that step in the right direction.  There are group meetings that you can attend in your area with AAA (Anipal Alcoholic Anonymous).  Make that phone call my friend and good luck with your recovery.


Dear Bacon – The big thing right now is to Netflix and chill.  I’m all for it.  This is me watching my favorite movie Willard.  If you haven’t seen it, you must watch it.  It’s amazing.  And of course no movie is perfect without the snack of some cheese.  What’s your favorite movie to chill?  Signed Will Jr

Dear Will Jr – Well my friend.  I looked up your movie.  It is what shall I say intriguing for sure.  My favorite movie lately is My Brother the Pig.  This is also an amazing movie.  And I like to watch it with snacks as well – my favorite is popcorn.  You keep chilling little guy!

 

 


Dear Bacon – Cheap labor.  That’s what I call this.  Our human has a lawn service and dude he puts us to work for kibbles.  We all have our assigned duties from leaf blower, raking and working the riding lawn mower.  It’s unheard of but it does make for some interesting looks when the humans drive by.  I’m hoping that one of the neighborhood ladies will take notice of our skills.  What do you think – we got a chance?  Signed Canine Lawn Care

Dear Canine Lawn Care – Hey, if you were in my hood, I would definitely hire you for sure my friends.  However you get the job done, that’s key in my book.  And once the ladies notice your working skills and the kibbles that you are bringing in, they will have to take numbers at your front door.  Be safe!


 Dear Bacon –  Look dude, it was a spider on the ground.  I don’t do spiders.  Nope, not at all.  And it was gigantic.  There was no way I was staying on the ground with that monster.  And those humans – they just walked around it like it was nothing.  They are the strangest people.  You afraid of those creepy crawlers too, right?  Signed Spastic

Dear Spastic – Let me get this right.  You are afraid of spiders but not height.  That’s amazing.  And what’s more amazing is that the humans are just walking by without a care not even paying you any attention.  WOW.  Too bad you can’t act like a bird and drop a little something if you know what I mean – snorts with piggy laughter.  I do understand your arachnophobia.  I myself don’t like the little pests with all of those legs either.  No one blames you for that.  Just be careful getting down off that limb okay bro.

 


Dear Bacon – Look at me – I’m a turtle.  Barks!  Okay maybe not a turtle.  Maybe a cute little pooch. Yep that’s who I am – a cute little pooch.  My human is always dressing me up different ways.  I say go for it because they always give me great treats in return.  Do your humans make you do anything stupid for treats?  Signed Michaelangelo

Dear Michaelangelo – Once my mom put me near a carton of eggs and took my picture.  She said I was the bacon and eggs in its original form.  I don’t get it but mom/dad got a great laugh out of it.  And like you as well – I got great treats.  So hey, if it doesn’t hurt us then I say wear it with pride.

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10 Comments

Posted by on 07/17/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20130601-011521.jpgDear Bacon – Just the facts little guy.  Nothing but the facts.  We’ve been watching too many repeats of the movies Men in Black.  Don’t ask me which is which.  We just like to dress like Kay and Jay.  You know, just for fun and giggles.  The neighborhood doesn’t know how to act when we roll into it – bark.  What do you think?  Do you like to dress up like any of your favorite guys?  Signed Kay/Jay

Dear Kay and Jay – Oh dudes – I love the look!  That is so neat.  I’ve seen those movies and ya’ll kind of look just like the two.  I think it’s the ties and sunglasses.  I would love to roam around in my costume too.  I secretly want to be a piggy super hero.  I keep asking mom to make me a cape.  I know with a cape, this little piggy would have special powers and be able to fly.  Stay cool barky things!


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Dear Bacon – This little pup couldn’t take it and fell asleep.  When I woke up, there was the hunny jar near me and I was passed out.  I don’t know what happened and I don’t know why it’s so funny.  The humans keep laughing.  Can you explain?  Signed Pup Dog

Dear Pup Dog – Snorts – it is kind of funny little man.  Your humans are really playing with you.  It’s cute.  You need to ask the humans to read you the story of Winnie the Pooh.  You look like Pooh.  He liked his hunny.  No, that’s wrong.  He LOVED his hunny.  Hey, I would keep the costume for Halloween.  You’ll get lots of candy!


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Dear Bacon – It doesn’t matter what kind of cat you are, we love boxes.  It’s that simple.  We will get in them and play with them.  I just wanted to let you know.  Signed Kitty Box

Dear Kitty Box – I’m not hating you on that.  I know the purr things here at the Hotel Thompson love to play with their boxes all of the time.  Mom/dad area always asking them why buy little purr thing presents when you can just give them the box.  Shrugs shoulders.  It’s a kitty thing.  I completely understand.  I tried to do the box thing too.  I didn’t get it.  I destroyed the box in less than five minutes.  Now that’s my fun time!  Enjoy the box my friend!


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Dear Bacon – I know the purr things like their boxes buy I prefer daddy’s guitar case.  While he plays, I crawl in there and the music puts me to sleep.  It’s actually more comfortable than it looks.  Does your human have a guitar case for you to try this?  Signed Squishy

Dear Squishy – You do look most uncomfortable.  I think I’m going to let you call this one and let you crawl in.  Dad does have a couple of cases but looking at this body, there is no way I will fit in there.  I don’t care how much I try.  Sleep on my friend!


20130601-011634.jpgDear Bacon – With summer comes doggy camp.  I thought I would snap this picture of all of us on the bus headed to camp for the week.  It’s a ball!  We get to do lots of neat things and have fun.  There really isn’t any time to miss the humans.  Do you get to go to camp?  Signed Campdoggers

Dear Campdoggers – That looks like so much fun!  As far as I get to camp is when I go to nana’s for a couple of days.  She always fattens me up so I can’t oink. 🙂  It’s fun and you know what they say.  What happens at nana’s, stays at nana’s!  Have fun at camp!

 

 
13 Comments

Posted by on 07/10/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon – I need some help.  My master continues to dress me in this silly outfit.  I’m not a big fan.  When I wear it and we go out on the town, everyone is really sociable though.

They always say, “Hello Kitty”.  They’re really nice about it.  I on the other hand just can’t stand the outfit and I don’t get it.  What can I do?  Signed – Purr in Distress

Dear Purr in Distress – You don’t get it do you… Hello Kitty?  Do you ever surf the net?  Do you ever google Hello Kitty?

You know what – go for it.  Wear it with pride.  You look really darling and I caught myself saying, “Hheelloo Kkiittyy.”


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Dear Bacon – See, I have talent too.  I love to ride my bicycle around our little village.  People see me rolling – they know I’m hip.  So it’s got training wheels – you gotta start somewhere and I love this thing.

You ever thought about riding a bicycle little pig?  Signed – Hip to the Hop

Dear Hip to the Hop – Have you looked at me lately?  My legs are a little challenged.  My front legs are shorter than my back legs.

My tushy is made for comfort not speed.  I’m not into exercise unless it involves putting food into my mouth.  But, hey more to you dude.  Ride it with pride!


20120722-211345.jpgDear Bacon – Every morning we get up and look at the window.  It’s our time to sit and reflect with each other.  Here lately, this stupid bird gets right in the window and puts his tail feathers in our faces.  What is up with that?!  What is this birds gone wild or something.  We are minding our own business and this chick has to do this?  What can we do?  Signed – Purr Things of Reflection

Dear Purr Things of Reflection –  You have to admit that’s kind of funny.  You know, I’m not saying ya’ll do, but a lot of purr things chase after birds.  Maybe this bird is “pigeonholing” ya’ll into one little category.  Thank you – I thought that was funny too.  Maybe try a different window in the house.  Maybe try ignoring the bird.  Reflect on my purr things and be the better kitty!


Dear Bacon – Every morning my adopted father comes out of the shower naked.  I can’t help to look like this every time I see him.  I mean, why would you shower naked?  I don’t take my fur off, do you?  Will this shocked look ever stop?  Signed – My Face May Freeze

Dear  My Face May Freeze – Hang in there little man.  Humans do weird things like that.  My mother likes to sit in the water full of bubbles in the dark with candles.  Now that is strange to me!  Seeing your parent without clothes is natural to them.  Be tough little guy.  It’ll become second nature to you soon.

 
9 Comments

Posted by on 07/03/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon – People come and see me at the zoo all of the time.  They take my picture and always say, “Smile”.  Well my friend, this is my happy face and I am actually smiling.  In fact in this picture that someone took of me, I am meditating.  I’m concentrating on thinking perhaps I am taking their pictures and they are posing.  What do you think?  Signed Happy Monkey

Dear Happy Monkey – I think you are thinking along the right path.  I tell you what.  I’m going to send you a camera so that you can do just that.  Take humans pictures when they try taking your picture. Can you imagine the look on their face when you tell them to smile?  Snorts!.


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Dear Bacon – Dude, what’s up?  I’m like feeling the nature man.  I’m rocking with the inspiration of Marley and others.  You know, keeping it real and much love to all.  Peace Bro.  Signed Bob

Dear Bob – WOW!  I feel the love all over my friend.  You keep rocking it and sharing it with everyone.  How could anyone not be happy with you?  You have to be the most even mannered pooch I’ve ever met – and the best dressed one to boot.  Peace, Love and Rock n Roll to you.  Keep it real and love to all.

.

.


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Dear Bacon – I have to admit that my ears usually are down but on this date I saw something so totally scary that those ears shot straight up and haven’t went back down yet.  I saw my humans naked… butt naked… without any clothes.  Oh my eyes!  Signed Pete

Dear Pete – I’m so sorry my friend.  I know it’s hard to get over that.  What has been seen can not be unseen now.  It does get better though.  After a while, it seems second nature and it doesn’t scare you as much.  I should know.  Daddy lives in naked world when mom is not here.  Rolls piggy eyes.  He says he cleans better.  Now that is a thought you can’t get out of your mind isn’t it?  Snorts with piggy laughter.


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Dear Bacon – I’m here to answer the ever lasting question – how do you make panda bears.  Well, as you can see from the picture you know have the answer – 🙂  You are so welcome.  Signed Pan Family

Dear Tongue – Oh my piggy heavens.  I have always wondered about that my friends and I’m sure others have as well.  Ya’ll are awesome to let us know the secret.  What a beautiful family you have there!

 
14 Comments

Posted by on 06/26/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon – Listen the water is fine my four legged pot bellied piggy.  Why don’t you come for a swim with me.  I’ll even teach you how to swim under the water.  I’m sure you will catch on fast.  What do you think?  Signed Mr. Friendly

Dear Mr. Friendly – Not that I don’t appreciate your well… friendness but I think I’ll pass.  For some reason, I think it’s better for this little oinker to stay on dry land, far away from the water and far, far away from your swimming lessons. Call it a premonition if you will.

But, carry on my friend and thank you… really.


20140330-183825.jpgDear Bacon – The nerve of our family vet.  Can you believe that (A) they had the nerve to come near my captains quarters with that proby thing and (B) they told my humans that *I* needed to go on a DIET?!  What in the world was he thinking?  Don’t my humans pay for his sound advice?  What kind of crap advice is this?  I think the look on my face tells you everything I think.  Signed Tiny

Dear Tiny – Oh dear.  That proby thing is awful.  It must be a torture device from centuries long ago.  Yep, that’s what I think.  And that look on your face.  Oh my.  You are certainly not happy.  And well… looks down at my pot belly.  I am one NOT to give any advice to you on that four lettered dirty word – D.I.E.T.  Shakes head – nope.

Not the one to do that at all my friend.


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Dear Bacon – I see you – purr snicker.  I have my eyes on your activities good or bad.  I’m reporting back to that Evil Elf of yours Don Juan.  You just wait.  You’re going to get it when he comes out in November.  Signed The Watcher

Dear The Watcher – Really?!  It’s not bad enough that I have rogue elf that watches my every move, you’re going to as well?  Rolls piggy eyes and walks away.  This is so not fair in this oinker’s life.  Can’t we all just get along?  Snorts


20140330-183847.jpgDear Bacon – I hate it when I get into trouble here at my casa.  Can you believe that my humans make me face the couch and sit here in time out?  It’s so humiliating.  Signed Unhappy Pooch

Dear Unhappy Pooch – WOW my friend.  That is some look you have there facing your tomb of doom.  It’s just not right.  And to put you in this time out right in the middle of the living room where you can hear and see all of the fun activities going on around you.  Shakes piggy head and clicks tongue.  Nope, just not right.  I’m sorry pal.  Maybe when you come out of serving your time, you just ignore those humans.  Show them who is getting timeout there.  Don’t give them any affection.

None whatsoever… can you last like what five seconds?  Hang in there my bud!


Dear Bacon – 20140330-183858.jpgI double kitty dare you to try this maneuver.  Heck, I triple meow dare you.  I dare you to put your back legs up over your head.  In fact if you can do this position, I will personally come over every day and give you a piggy massage – heck I’ll even clean up your room for you.  Signed Fear Factor Feline

Dear Fear Factor Feline – Really?!  That’s okay my furry friend.  That’s what I have my mommy for – massages and cleaning – snorts.  Let’s hope that cannon of yours doesn’t go off while you are bent legs over head.

 
13 Comments

Posted by on 06/19/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20130531-230700.jpgDear Bacon – Summer really stinks.  It’s totally hot and uncomfortable.  All I can do is stand in front of the fan and let the breeze overtake me.  I just have to do something to cool me down.  Signed Flappy

Dear Flappy – Hey pal, whatever you need to do to keep you cool I say go for it!  Momma is a firm believer in her fan in this hot summer.  Can’t we just skip over that season?  I’m all for it.  Let’s start a petition.  What do you think?


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Dear Bacon – Hubba hubba little man.  I find you so fascinating.  I can’t believe a pig like you is still single.  What do you say we fix that problem?  Signed I Do

Dear I Do Don’t – Not that I’m totally not appreciative or anything but I’m just not ready to settle down like that.  You’re totally beautiful and I think you will find the perfect pig one day.  Don’t give up my friend.


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Dear Bacon – You talk about Houdini at the Hotel Thompson a lot of different times.  I just want you to know that I think I’m more spoiled than he is.  My humans actually dresses me too.  It’s a pain in the rump area but hey it makes them laugh.  You ever think about dressing up?  Signed Prissy

Dear Prissy – First off – you look adorable in your little outfit.  Your face doesn’t *look* like you’re enjoying it but hey if the humans are happy, right?  Second off – I can be a fussy little character.  I’m not too proud to say that.  I just don’t see me as a ‘dress’ up kind of guy.  Buy hey if the mom wanted too, I would let her.  Like you said, it makes the humans happy and smile.  That’s our jobs!


Dear Bacon – 20130531-230749.jpgHave you ever heard of the Red Hat Society?  I’m a member and they have monthly meetings.  I think you need to look it up in your area and do a posting on it.  I think it would be fascinating.  Signed  Fun Times

Dear Fun Times – I’ll do that!  I’ve heard mom talk about it with her friends.  There’s also purple hats, right?  🙂 See, I do pay attention even though sometimes mom doesn’t think so.  You wear that hat with pride and look forward to a posting in the future my friend.

 
14 Comments

Posted by on 06/12/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – What’s happening pig?  So like here is the problem dude.  I think like I’m a happening cat.  I got the moves like Jagger.  I wear my hoodie.  My parents still want to treat me like a kitty – what’s up with that? Signed Rap Cat

Dear Rap Cat – Slow your roll purr thing.  You are still a babe.  You’re not a member of the group Stray Cats.

I’m not sure if you been told this but you are pussy cat, not a rap cat.  I hate to be the bearer of the bad news.

Quit trying to go all jive in front of your parents.  Save the rap when they go to bed at night.  I bet they would love to hear that in the middle of the night.


Dear Bacon – I have a small problem.  As  you can see, my parents think I’m their personal marshmallow holder.  I can’t help that my fur is thorny.  What am I to do? – Signed Thorny

Dear Thorny – Give me a minute to pick myself up from off the floor.  I’m sorry dude.  That’s the funniest picture I’ve seen in some time.  You’re parents are really original.  I know it may seem like a pain in your side – HA – but go with it.  They can rent you out to parties and such – you can make money and save for your retirement.  I say go with it and make the best out of it little guy.


Dear Bacon – Finally I have proof with this picture!  When I get in trouble, my parents put me in a corner and point their fingers at me.  What’s a kitty to do? Signed – Hands Up in the Air

Dear Hands Up in the Air – Take your hands down from the air.  Use those paws that you have and swat those fingers.  They won’t be putting baby in the corner anymore.


 

Dear Bacon – I’ve read your blogs.  You talk about bed head.  Come on pig – look at this picture.  I think I have you down on bed head.  Signed – Bed Head Extraordinaire

Dear Bed Head – You got me.  Now please go shower and fix yourself up.  You’re scaring the viewers.

 
15 Comments

Posted by on 06/05/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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