Dear Innocent Until Proven Guilty – Oh wow my friend. How could anyone think anything other than just a prayer meeting was going on in that picture? I mean Mr. Kitty just would normally be cornered standing up straight with his hands down. Now to think of though – if it was a prayer meeting, why wasn’t his hands up? You gotta think about these questions that might come up. And the look on his face – well that doesn’t say Amen to me. I’m just telling you like I see it.
Dear Bacon – The humans came home early. How dare them. Don’t they know that once the leave for work, this crib is mine for eight hours or more? Here I was taking a little dip in the inside pool. They walked in like I was killing the pet bird or something. Honestly, some people. If they didn’t want me to swim in the pool, don’t leave the lid up. Signed Skinny Dipping
Dear Skinny Dipping – Remind me not to get to close to your snuggles when I visit. I don’t think that contraption is made for your swimming convenience. I’ve seen what my daddy does in it. It’s not pretty. Trust me on that. Shivers.
Dear Bacon – Can you believe my owner accused me of getting into her so called make up? I did not touch her war paint. No I didn’t. You can’t prove these things. She didn’t see me in it. Hhummphh – I think I’ll go take a walk outside now. Signed Painted Lady
Dear Painted Lady – Uumm, you might want to rethink your stand on the no touchy of the war paint. Go look in the mirror. I think you will ‘see’ what is giving you away. Although I do like the color of your paws and mouth, it looks like that lipstick didn’t get away. One shade darker and it would look like a crime scene happened at your crib with you being the victim. Of course on the other hoof, that would make an awesome Halloween costume. Crime Scene or Street Walker – you make the call – snorts with piggy laughter.
Dear Bacon – This may look like shredded paper all over the floor but it’s not. I have a perfectly good excuse for this. You see my humans leave me in the kitchen while they go to make the money to keep me in the life I’ve grown accustomed. Well, I’ve watched my mom clip her so called coupons all the time. If you look closer at these papers, they are coupons. I was just trying to lend a helping paw and help her out. You know, to give her more time to pet and play with me. You understand, right? Signed Coupon Clipper
Dear Coupon Clipper – I give you one for helping and participating in the household budget my friend. Unfortunately though, I don’t think those coupons will work the way you cut them. I’m sure your mom understood your willing to help. Maybe next time, you let her do the clipping with one hand while she pets you with the other.
REMEMBER my friends – Dear Bacon can’t help without your participation. Keep sending your letters and pictures to my email address. Snorts and Oinks!