RSS

Tag Archives: Bad

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m getting too old to be the party dog in the crowd.  My friends are trying to have an intervention with me and took this picture.  I really didn’t think I had gotten that bad but pictures don’t lie, right?  Between the beer and the shots of tequila, I was out for the night.  I guess it’s time for me to reach out for help.  What do you suggest?  Signed Boozer

Dear Boozer – You are right my little friend.  Admission is the first step and you have taken that step in the right direction.  There are group meetings that you can attend in your area with AAA (Anipal Alcoholic Anonymous).  Make that phone call my friend and good luck with your recovery.


Dear Bacon – The big thing right now is to Netflix and chill.  I’m all for it.  This is me watching my favorite movie Willard.  If you haven’t seen it, you must watch it.  It’s amazing.  And of course no movie is perfect without the snack of some cheese.  What’s your favorite movie to chill?  Signed Will Jr

Dear Will Jr – Well my friend.  I looked up your movie.  It is what shall I say intriguing for sure.  My favorite movie lately is My Brother the Pig.  This is also an amazing movie.  And I like to watch it with snacks as well – my favorite is popcorn.  You keep chilling little guy!

 

 


Dear Bacon – Cheap labor.  That’s what I call this.  Our human has a lawn service and dude he puts us to work for kibbles.  We all have our assigned duties from leaf blower, raking and working the riding lawn mower.  It’s unheard of but it does make for some interesting looks when the humans drive by.  I’m hoping that one of the neighborhood ladies will take notice of our skills.  What do you think – we got a chance?  Signed Canine Lawn Care

Dear Canine Lawn Care – Hey, if you were in my hood, I would definitely hire you for sure my friends.  However you get the job done, that’s key in my book.  And once the ladies notice your working skills and the kibbles that you are bringing in, they will have to take numbers at your front door.  Be safe!


 Dear Bacon –  Look dude, it was a spider on the ground.  I don’t do spiders.  Nope, not at all.  And it was gigantic.  There was no way I was staying on the ground with that monster.  And those humans – they just walked around it like it was nothing.  They are the strangest people.  You afraid of those creepy crawlers too, right?  Signed Spastic

Dear Spastic – Let me get this right.  You are afraid of spiders but not height.  That’s amazing.  And what’s more amazing is that the humans are just walking by without a care not even paying you any attention.  WOW.  Too bad you can’t act like a bird and drop a little something if you know what I mean – snorts with piggy laughter.  I do understand your arachnophobia.  I myself don’t like the little pests with all of those legs either.  No one blames you for that.  Just be careful getting down off that limb okay bro.

 


Dear Bacon – Look at me – I’m a turtle.  Barks!  Okay maybe not a turtle.  Maybe a cute little pooch. Yep that’s who I am – a cute little pooch.  My human is always dressing me up different ways.  I say go for it because they always give me great treats in return.  Do your humans make you do anything stupid for treats?  Signed Michaelangelo

Dear Michaelangelo – Once my mom put me near a carton of eggs and took my picture.  She said I was the bacon and eggs in its original form.  I don’t get it but mom/dad got a great laugh out of it.  And like you as well – I got great treats.  So hey, if it doesn’t hurt us then I say wear it with pride.

Advertisements
 
1 Comment

Posted by on 07/17/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Breaking News – Bashful has GONE WILD!

Journalist Rocky the Squirrel here – Keeping my paws on the nuts of the world!

Information has been received over the afternoon wire reports that the juvenile rolling stone has yet been caught again in another act of mischief.  This time, the act took place in a local Toys R Us department store in McDonough, Georgia.  Unlike the other two times, the juvenile rolling store was caught in a ‘toy’ buggy rolling down a store aisle singing Joan Jett’s famous song I Love Rock N Roll.

Authorities believe that this is the same juvenile rolling stone that was caught in May at a local Wal-mart store and then again in June at a local Target store.  In both of these instances, the juvenile rolling stone was video taped riding a skateboard unlike the current sighting.  When authorities were questioned as to thy they think it is the same juvenile stone and why, they replied, “It’s all in his itty bitty shaky eyes.  He has the look of a rock gone bad.”

Authorities are also advising the public not to try and apprehend this juvenile delinquent rock by themselves but to please call your local police station.  If you have any information on this juvenile rolling stone, please leave a comment here.

 

 

 
15 Comments

Posted by on 07/12/2018 in Bashful Field Trip, Pet Rocks

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Admission is the First Step

Go ahead my friends.  Follow the instructions on this nice man’s shirt.  Snorts with piggy laughter.  I told it to my dad and he followed the instructions.  Hilarious I’m telling you.  I know – I know – piggy payback will be big time – snorts

 
7 Comments

Posted by on 07/08/2018 in Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Friends I Need Your Help

This is me over the weekend.  Yep believe it or not I’m digging the backyard at times.  There’s all kinds of adventures to be held out there.  I look at this picture and it screams to me that I’m too skinny.  Really!  Look at those ribs.  I think I need to ‘fatten’ up a bit.  Dad agrees but I think for an entirely different reason if you know what I mean – shivers to mergatroid.

Mom says I’m just fine and that she has to watch my weight because a heavy piggy is a sick piggy.  I hear her.  I really do.  But when she starts talking diet stuff all I hear is blah, blah, blah.  I mean, what’s a couple of more bananas and another cut of animal crackers a day.  Piggy starving here…. snorts with piggy laughter.

 
22 Comments

Posted by on 07/05/2018 in Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dear Bacon

20120722-211100.jpg

Dear Bacon – I need some help.  My master continues to dress me in this silly outfit.  I’m not a big fan.  When I wear it and we go out on the town, everyone is really sociable though.

They always say, “Hello Kitty”.  They’re really nice about it.  I on the other hand just can’t stand the outfit and I don’t get it.  What can I do?  Signed – Purr in Distress

Dear Purr in Distress – You don’t get it do you… Hello Kitty?  Do you ever surf the net?  Do you ever google Hello Kitty?

You know what – go for it.  Wear it with pride.  You look really darling and I caught myself saying, “Hheelloo Kkiittyy.”


20120722-211117.jpg

Dear Bacon – See, I have talent too.  I love to ride my bicycle around our little village.  People see me rolling – they know I’m hip.  So it’s got training wheels – you gotta start somewhere and I love this thing.

You ever thought about riding a bicycle little pig?  Signed – Hip to the Hop

Dear Hip to the Hop – Have you looked at me lately?  My legs are a little challenged.  My front legs are shorter than my back legs.

My tushy is made for comfort not speed.  I’m not into exercise unless it involves putting food into my mouth.  But, hey more to you dude.  Ride it with pride!


20120722-211345.jpgDear Bacon – Every morning we get up and look at the window.  It’s our time to sit and reflect with each other.  Here lately, this stupid bird gets right in the window and puts his tail feathers in our faces.  What is up with that?!  What is this birds gone wild or something.  We are minding our own business and this chick has to do this?  What can we do?  Signed – Purr Things of Reflection

Dear Purr Things of Reflection –  You have to admit that’s kind of funny.  You know, I’m not saying ya’ll do, but a lot of purr things chase after birds.  Maybe this bird is “pigeonholing” ya’ll into one little category.  Thank you – I thought that was funny too.  Maybe try a different window in the house.  Maybe try ignoring the bird.  Reflect on my purr things and be the better kitty!


Dear Bacon – Every morning my adopted father comes out of the shower naked.  I can’t help to look like this every time I see him.  I mean, why would you shower naked?  I don’t take my fur off, do you?  Will this shocked look ever stop?  Signed – My Face May Freeze

Dear  My Face May Freeze – Hang in there little man.  Humans do weird things like that.  My mother likes to sit in the water full of bubbles in the dark with candles.  Now that is strange to me!  Seeing your parent without clothes is natural to them.  Be tough little guy.  It’ll become second nature to you soon.

 
9 Comments

Posted by on 07/03/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I’m an Official Southern Pig – Snort

In some parts of the south, they tell you that your not officially a southern until you’ve had the basics.  The basics could be many things but some of them are collard greens, grits, sweet tea, fried chicken, sweet potato pie, macaroni and cheese and boiled peanuts.  I’ve had several of these things.  It makes sense.  My mom was born and raised in the south.  You know just between you and me they call people like my momma GRITS – Girls Raised in the South.  Snort

Well, let me tell you about one of these things that I absolutely LOVE…boiled peanuts.  Oh goodness – they are simply delicious.  And no, I didn’t have them in a RC Cola and no I didn’t have them on ice cream which is common here.  I had them straight up out of the shell.  mmm.  Boiling them just brings out a different flavor.  First of all, they’re soft so there is no crunch.  You boiled them in seasoned water right over an open flame.  Mom knows a guy that knows a guy that fixes them – LOL.  You break open a shell and juice goes everywhere.  Then you see the tasty little morsel.  You pop it in your mouth and it’s still hot from the flame – SHUT THE FRONT DOOR – the taste explodes in your  mouth.  It’s a little salty, sometimes it can be a little spicy according to the seasoning, and they are God’s tasty little morsels.

If you haven’t tried any yet, what are you waiting for?  Try them now and let me know what you think.  Dad never ate any until mom introduced him.  Now he can’t stay out of them.  They are that good!

 
14 Comments

Posted by on 07/01/2018 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Let’s Make a Mix Tape


What’s one song you will add to our Mix Tape?  Ours is listed below.  Add yours – let’s pawty!

Bacon –  Born to be Wild by Steppenwolf

Houdini – Hound Dog by Elvis

Hemi – Cat Scratch Fever by Ted Nugent

Mom – Every Breathe You Take by Police

Dad – Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

 
17 Comments

Posted by on 06/30/2018 in Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,