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Travels in the South

Sometimes it’s hard to get out for a quick dinner especially when one is saving money.  But this night, mom/dad found the perfect place.  It was the Sam’s Warehouse – snorts with piggy laughter.  Daddy went in and asked for a table for two – rolls piggy eyes.  He’s the romantic isn’t he?

Well mom enjoyed her fine dining experience.  They got hot dogs with the works.  By the works I mean sauerkraut, onions and mustard.  Dad also went the extra mile with a bag of chips.  Now you are probably asking yourself was this really awesome?  Nods head.  Mom said YES.  For a whopping $5.00 – they had dinner for two.  Big spenders huh?

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Moral of the Story

A pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. He was so pleased with his donkey that he entered it a 2nd time and it won again. The local paper read: “PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.” The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read: “BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTORS ASS.” This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, upon hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: “NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.” The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read: “NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.” This was too much for the bishop so he ordered the nun to buy back her donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:”NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.”

The bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is – being concerned about public opinion can bring you grief and misery and even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life..  You’ll be a lot happier and live longer.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on 08/13/2018 in Bacon

 

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Book Lovers Day

Journalist Rocky the Squirrel here –

Keeping my paws on the nuts of the world!

Hello dear friends.  Today is the official Book Lovers Day.  Don’t you just love a great book.  Something that takes you away from the every day ordinary life that you have.  Something romantic – something exciting – something spy or a great mystery.  Anything that you can read to put you in another life or another space in time.  Reading can be for fun, educational, relaxing or research.  Reading can make us laugh, smile or even cry.

Today, I encourage you to find that interesting book – of any topic that intrigues you.  Open the book and start your journey anywhere – in the house, on your bed, in the grass, on a hammock.  Go away, even for a couple of hours, to a place that you don’t need a passport to travel.

I myself will be researching some recipes.  There are a couple of chickens and roosters that don’t know what time it is in our hood.  I’m researching ways to help them – even chitter chatter.  No really, just researching some interesting recipes.  Now my friends, go find your book!

 
5 Comments

Posted by on 08/09/2018 in Journalist Rocky the Squirrel

 

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Travels in the South

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I’ve told you before my friends.  My mom and dad have lost it. Totally.  This past weekend was one of “those” adventures – snorts.  They were looking for some adventure and wanted to try a place they had never been to before.  So they took off in Albert, mom’s little Smart car, and hit the highway.  Almost sounds like a song huh – snorts.

They ended up at this place called Mellow Mushroom – it’s a pizza joint which was right up dad’s alley.  He ❤ pizza.  Mom was somewhat reluctant.  First off because they sat right beside exhibit A to the left.  Pardon me while I say this but does that ‘mushroom’ look psychedelic?  It was kind of disturbing in a weird sense of direction.  Mom couldn’t take her eyes off of it.  There was just something about it that was just plain weird.

 That’s when mom got up to take a closer look at the psychedelic mushroom.   20140716-201449-72889500.jpg

It’s not all its cracked up to be – double snorts.  You get it – cracked up.  It really is around the head area.  What kind of restaurant is this place?  Mom shook her head, snapped a couple of pictures and sat down preparing herself for a psychedelic adventure.

P.S.  If you are ever out and about and see some crazy lady taking pictures at a restaurant, just call her mom.  That will probably be my crazy mom – she takes pictures of *everything* as you will soon see in this post.

Shakes piggy head.  At least it’s not all about me now.

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20140716-201448-72888070.jpgMom has been on this DIEt thing lately.  It’s going okay. As she says, it’s all about choices.  So today she choose a Greek salad to start her meal.

Exhibit B to the left here.  She says if she starts with a good salad, it fills her so she doesn’t eat too much of a bad thing.

Which is good – I guess if you are living a DIEt kind of life.  Mom did say that this salad was delicious!  It had everything she loves – lettuce, mushrooms (which didn’t look scary like exhibit A), olives, peppers and feta cheese.

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20140716-201454-72894404.jpgDad on the other hoof, went with a cheese covered pretzel.  See exhibit C here to the right.  Not only was it delicious and cheesy, they served it with a beer cheese dipping sauce.  It must have been great because daddy licked the cheese sauce dry and there were no crumbs left from the pretzel.

 Which is good because mommy kept watching him waiting for something to drop.  So much for eating a nice decent sensible salad huh?

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Now cam20140716-201452-72892352.jpge the main course.  Mom and dad can never agree upon toppings for their pizza.  There solution is to always get a pie 1/2 and 1/2.  That way mom can have what she wants and dad can have what he wants.  May I present to you exhibit D to the left.  Drum roll – tongue hanging out – deliciousness.

Mom got the top side.  She ❤ white pizza with cheese, garlic and tomatoes – what’s not to love right?

Dad on the other hoof got the bottom side.  He gets the works… something this little piggy can’t discuss and think about.  But it looks good.  Of course a lot of pizza made it’s way home for lunch the next day.

You have to admit though, mom had hesitation at first with seeing the psychedelic mushroom – or maybe it was because of the psychedelic mushroom – the food was delicious!

 
14 Comments

Posted by on 08/08/2018 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,
What? Don’t hate. You know you want a hat just like mine so you can play outside with it. Right? Signed Scooter

Dear Scooter,

Yeah, sure. I would absolutely LOVE to have a hat like yours to wear outside and make the funny thing on top go around and around Maybe if it was real windy, I could fly. I like the sound of that! So, yes two please my friend 🙂


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Dear Bacon,
This is just me telling my friends on how to get more seed and nuts from the humans. Any suggestions for us? Signed Cute as Can Be

Dear Cute as Can Be,

Well you can also take tips from Journalist Rocky the Squirrel. He knocks on our back door frequently asking for a cup of nuts for him and his family. Mom even throws leftover bread out to them to help them out. You know, you do what you have to do. This economy has hit us all! Take care my friends. If you are ever near the Hotel Thompson, knock on the back door. 🙂


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Dear Bacon,
I’ve read about your adventures in your magical back yard. Now this is what *I* consider a magical back yard… with drink in hand! You’re mom promised you a pool. Make her pay up pal. Signed Simple Puss

Dear Simple Puss,

I like the way you think my friend! My mommy made a lot of promises to get me outside. Although its only happened once so far, I think I need to make her pay up with one of the promises being a pool. Do you think I would be pushing it to be able to lay in a chair with a drink and food like you have?


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Dear Bacon,
I love to play music. I can bang that keyboard with the best of them. This is me practicing, “Unleashed Melody”. It’s a sad and soothing song to us pooches. Have you ever heard of it? Do you play any musical instruments? Signed Wolfgang Pooch

Dear Wolfgang Pooch,

You do have some talent – way to go my talented young friend. I haven’t heard of that song yet but I will be sure to Google it on the internet and listen to it. I know it has to be amazing! As for this little piglet’s talent. Let me see…. I’m thinking…. mommy says I rip some good ones… but I don’t think she’s referring to a musical instrument for some reason 🙂 I’ll keep thinking about that answer. Take care and maybe we shall see you soon in the Hollywood lights!


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Dear Bacon,

Don’t even say it. I know – I know. Yo Quiero Taco Bell. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s really funny. Ha Ha. My humans think it’s funny to dress me up as a taco. How would they like it if I dressed them up like a hot dog? BOL (Barking out loud)! Signed TB

Dear TB,

First off, tell me they didn’t name you Taco Bell – TB for short. Now that would be funny. Oh, I’m sorry. But look on the other hand. You are cute. AND, I bet if they took you to a Taco Bell in the drive thru, you would get free food. Free food – that’s good, isn’t it? Be proud little guy. Wear it with pride.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on 08/07/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Texts from Bacon

How do you make the day go by faster?  Of course by texting mommy at the worky place – snorts.  My texts are in blue and moms are in gray.  Hey what can I say?  There’s never a dull moment here at the Hotel Thompson.  Enjoy my friends!

 
10 Comments

Posted by on 08/02/2018 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20140330-184102.jpgDear Bacon – If it’s good enough to put the crying thing in to settle them down, why can’t I get in it too?  It seems like the screaming miniature human gets a lot of attention in this contraption.  I don’t seem to be getting the same kind.  Why?  Can you explain that to me?  Signed Dogsad

Dear Dogsad – Aaww – you poor thing.  I’m really sorry that you feel left out.  I really am.  Right now though, your humans are going through a lot with the small human.  This will pass when they don’t have to be so fussy with them.  You just be patient and stay cute my friend.


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 Dear Bacon – This means WAR!  There I was hanging out on the sofa after a really rough day of chasing the mailman and squirrels.  I was minding my own business, had my feet popped up and was enjoying a nice glass of 2012 Francis Ford Coppola Pinot Noir.  Then the lights started flashing.  My dad took this picture of me and put it all over the internet – he’s even talking about Christmas cards?!  I will be ruined!  What can I do?  Signed Sparky

Dear Sparky – Give me a second friend… snorts and squeals ridiculously loud in a paper bag.  Okay, I’m back.  Breathes in to get my bearing.  What you need to do Sparky is get a hold of that camera.  Delete the picture is tops.  Then you need to get on the human’s computer and start deleting.  I would wait until the humans all asleep and then pounce into action.


20140330-184124.jpgDear Bacon –

If you’re happy and you know it, throw your hooves in the air.  If you’re happy and you know it, look so cute.  If you’re happy and you know it then your face will surely show it.  If you’re happy and you know it, throw your hooves in the air!  Signed Cute as a Lamb

Dear Cute as a Lamb –

 I’m off now to throw my hooves up in the air!  You look as adorable as well me!  Have a great one my friend and thanks for sharing!


20140330-184139.jpgDear Bacon – When the humans asked me if I wanted a pancake and I said yes, this is not what I meant.  I wanted a pancake to eat not wear.  What in the world were they thinking?!  Signed Panbunny

Dear Panbunny – I could teach you a trick with that pancake sitting on your head my friend.  My daddy taught me how to flip it off of my head and into my mouth.  You can do it – I know you can!

Happy eats.


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Dear Bacon – SQUEAL!  Look what I made!  Mini-me’s!  Aren’t they just too cute?!  Signed Surprised

 

Dear Surprised – They are totally adorable my friend!!  So very cute.  They look just like you… well except for the bright eyed, bushy tailed, surprise look – snorts.

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9 Comments

Posted by on 07/31/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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