Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Sometimes I smell things.  And then I see things.  No, i’m not a ghost.  You see it seems like the yard next to me has it going on with Stacy’s mom.  She’s always grilling and hanging out near the pool.  I just want to go over and play.  The other day, the laughter and the smells were so wonderful.  I stuck my head under the gate to see what was taking place.  I wasn’t really stuck but I acted like it to get everyone’s attention.  They came to the gate and invited me over.  What a party!  Signed Pup of the Party

Dear Pup of the Party – Hey dude, it sounds like you had the plan for the party.  You got an invite – I knew you would with that cute little grin.  Now go and play like a good fellow – tell Stacy’s mom I said hey.

---

Dear Bacon – My master likes to play in the yard and work the ground for a garden.  Rolls my doggy eyes.  I’ll help to a certain point – especially when he is planting the watermelon.  Who doesn’t love watermelon, right?  This is me helping my master out by holding his tools.  And I always say safety first – wear a hat to keep the sun out of your face.  Signed Garden Patch

Dear Garden Patch – Hey my friend I like the way you think.  Maybe your master should give my mom some lessons on growing watermelons.  I love those big balls of wonder.  They are so tasty – I even like eating the rind.  Licks piggy lips.  Now look what you have done.  My miniature pot-belly is rumbling for the hungry of a watermelon.  Maybe its not too late in the stores for mom to pick me up one?  I love you being a helping paw.  I think the humans could use more of them.  Take care my friend – happy gardening.

---

Dear Bacon – You *always* have that one sibling that can’t keep their tongue out of your ear.  Purrs in aggravation.  Dory has been ‘grooming’ my ear now for twenty minutes.  Can you please make her go away?  If I screech at her, she’ll run to mommy that I’m not playing nice.  Girls – eeww.  Signed Marlin

Dear Marlin – Girls.  That’s all you had to say my friend.  You can’t live with them and you definitely can’t live without them.  You have nerves of steel to let your sister Dory bother you for that long.  Hopefully, it will be over soon.  If not, perhaps you can stretch and tell her you need a bathroom break.  Just a thought!

---

Dear Bacon – I am not amused.  Really, I’m not.  The human insisted that I needed a bath.  I could have done my own thank you very much.  But no – the human wanted to give me one.  Help me.  That’s all I gotta say and I’m thinking my look says it all.  Signed Cat in a Shower Cap

Dear Cat in a Shower Cap – Well, wait a minute I need to get a straight face for this, you look all nice and clean.  How ironical that your mom picked out a Tweety Bird towel for you.  It’s kind of fitting.  And that shower cap – OMP – perfect.  No sense in getting water in those cute little perky ears.  Go with it my friend.

.

---

Dear Bacon –  Some people use dowsing rods to find paranormal activity.  I don’t need those.  Some people even use a sixth sense to find paranormal activity.  I don’t need those either.  Heck, I don’t need to find anything paranormal.  I just need to find food.  And let me tell you, with these ears of mine I can find all of the food I want.  They lead me and I follow.  There’s much to appreciate in letting your ears lead you.  Signed Food on the Run

Dear Food on the Run – I say let it be my friend – let it be!  Lead on to the food and pig out!

---

REMEMBER friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your pictures and questions via email.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mom/Dad You Have Some Explaining To Do

  If you don’t know much about anything else about me by this point, you have to know that my humans are strange… unpredictable if you will. They are *always* getting into some type of trouble.  They are always going out and about unchaperoned.  And there is no telling what chaos they cause anywhere they go.  You don’t believe me still?

  Let’s take a look at example 1 to the left here.   Okay let’s assume I was snooping and found this on mom’s iPhone under pictures.  What?  I didn’t say that I did it.  I said just assume… looks innocent.  Let’s get back to the point shall we.  Tell me this my friends.  Have you ever been in a restaurant where there was such ‘stuff’ hanging around?  I mean is it me or a skull riding a motorcycle kind of eccentric or pushing the envelope just a bit?  Let alone mom/dad told me that this place was adults only and you had to be 21 years of age to enter and eat.  Now I understand why.  This restaurant is called the Vortex Bar and Grill and mom even did a blog about it on her food blog here.  It has great food… not that this oinker got a piggy bag to go or anything.  Snorts – way to go mom/dad.

When I saw this picture above, I was like cool a skull.  Then I looked further and longer at the picture.  Then I was like – what the pig is that?!  And more importantly – why is it hanging on the wall wearing Mardi Gras beads?  What the heck did it do to get those beads?  Of course seeing one of my ancestors ‘mounted’ on a wall got me squealing to the high heavens above and mom had to come to my bedroom to see what the problem was.  I mean heck, it’s not every day you see this, right?

Mom saw what I was squealing about and sat down on my toddler bed with me for ‘a talk’.  First up was the talk about not snooping… hey I said assume but I guess I just got busted huh?  Mom mentioned something about privacy and some things I shouldn’t see – blah blah blah – and sometimes things seen or heard can not be now unseen or unheard – blah blah blah.

Okay mom got it.  Please explain why one of my ancestors is on the wall wearing beads.  Honestly, she didn’t know why but she explained to me that this animal was called a boar.  There are several different classes of boars and mostly run wild.  We are related through the ancestry leaves.  He is kind of a mascot of sorts at this restaurant.  Okay that’s cool.  He lives on in fame still kind of smiling if you look at the grin on his face.  I wonder if that is because of the lack of somewhat clothing the waitresses wear in this alternative bar?  Or is because of the different people he sees throughout the day from lawyers to bikers?  But I still have to ask. Why is he wearing beads?  What do you think is the story behind that my friends?  You know this piggy has an inquiring mind.

 

 

Instant Therapy Kit

 Snorts with piggy laughter!  My mom and dad they are *always* getting into some type of trouble somewhere doing something.  They went to a local bar and grill and picked up these matchsticks.  Mom didn’t think anything of them when she put them on the counter.  I walked over to investigate because it’s what I do.  It was something new in the house and frankly I’ve never seen this thing called matchsticks before.

So I picked the pack up with my mouth and read the package.  Oh my piggy heavens.  Where do my parents go and hang out without me?

 

Hot Dog Eating Contest – YAY!

What better way to celebrate a holiday then to have an awesome eating competition.  I saw the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest last year on television and have been pigstruck every since.  I live for this competition!  Every year, this competition is held on Coney Island in Brookyln, New York on July 4th.  And, what better month to celebrate but in July when it is National Hot Dog month.  I would just *love* to be there to watch in person… and maybe compete.

Twenty competitors stand behind a 30 foot long table and chow down against each other.  They have a short ten minutes (which I’m sure seems like forever to them!) to eat as many hot dogs and buns as they possibly can.  A designated score keeper stands behind each competitor and keeps up with how many hot dogs/buns each person is eating by holding up a sign for each person showing the number of dogs consumed.

Over the past several years, Joey Chestnut has won for the United States.  Last year, he ate a total of 69 hot dogs/buns.  The year before in 2012, he ate a total of 68 hot dogs/buns.

And, did you know that women are also in this competition?  Over the past several years, Sonya Thomas – AKA Black Widow – has also won for the United States.  Last year, she ate a total of 36 3/4 quarters of  hot dogs/buns.  The year before in 2012, she ate a total of 45 hot dogs/buns.

Here’s a picture of both of them –

Now I understand that competitor eaters are trained. But I have to tell you, I’m a natural born competitor eater.  Look at this body – I am *made* for this competition… of course with beef hot dogs.  I bet you I could do a big hurt on some of those dogs and at least tie Joey Chestnut.

I may have to venture outside into nature in the backyard when mom/dad grill our hot dogs this afternoon.  You know, just to see if any of them just ‘happen’ to fall off the grill.  Perhaps I can start my very own neighborhood eating competition for my four legged friends.  Who’s in with me?

XOXO – Bacon

Note:  picture taken from Internet

 

Spring is Here – YAY!

So I saw this little jingle with the cute little kitty doing a dance and I thought, why not?  It is finally Spring and I am feeling so frisky – in a good way.  I don’t want you to start thinking of me like that.  Nope, no way, not going to happen.  I’m talking frisky as in wanting to run.  You see during the winter months, I have a tendency to just want to sleep and eat… kind of like a hibernation of sorts.  I just don’t feel like running – it’s way too cold for me.

So this weekend, I was on a roll.  I ran around the back yard in my magical kingdom.  I played with mom and we rolled around in the clovers.  We sat for a long time and basked in the sun.  We just ‘hung out’ together and had a great time.

Later in the day, daddy even got the grill out to cook some dinner.  I might have or might have not begged for some chicken.  Hey, it’s what I do.  And by the way, it was delicious.

But then later, we all went inside of the Hotel Thompson.

I remembered the picture of the kitty singing his song so I ran through the front room singing it too.. well what I thought was the words.  Can you believe when I did it, mom and dad almost fell off the sofa because they were laughing so hard?  The nerve of them, huh?  I can’t help it that I resemble my song.  You want to hear it too?  Okay, don’t laugh – pinky promise okay.  Here it goes:

.

 

“I’m a little teapot short and stout;

Here is my handle, here is my … handle

Darn, I’m a sugar bowl.”.

 

Hot Dog Eating Contest – YAY!

What better way to celebrate a holiday then to have an awesome eating competition.  I saw the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest last year on television and was pigstruck!  Every year, this competition is held on Coney Island in Brookyln, New York on July 4th.  And, what better month to celebrate but in July when it is National Hot Dog month.  I would just *love* to be there to watch in person… and maybe compete.

Twenty competitors stand behind a 30 foot long table and chow down against each other.  They have a short ten minutes (which I’m sure seems like forever to them!) to eat as many hot dogs and buns as they possibly can.  A designated score keeper stands behind each competitor and keeps up with how many hot dogs/buns each person is eating by holding up a sign for each person showing the number of dogs consumed. 

Over the past several years, Joey Chestnut has won for the United States.  Last year, he ate a total of 68 hot dogs/buns.  The year before in 2011, he ate a total of 62 hot dogs/buns.

And, did you know that women are also in this competition?  Over the past several years, Sonya Thomas – AKA Black Widow – has also won for the United States.  Last year, she ate a total of 45 hot dogs/buns.  The year before in 2011, she ate a total of 40 hot dogs/buns.

Here’s a picture of both of them –

 

Now I understand that competitor eaters are trained. But I have to tell you, I’m a natural born competitor eater.  Look at this body – I am *made* for this competition… of course with beef hot dogs.  I bet you I could do a big hurt on some of those dogs and at least tie Joey Chestnut.

I may have to venture outside into nature in the backyard when mom/dad grill our hot dogs this afternoon.  You know, just to see if any of them just ‘happen’ to fall off the grill.  Perhaps I can start my very own neighborhood eating competition for my four legged friends.  Who’s in with me?

XOXO – Bacon

 

Note:  picture taken from Internet