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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon – Who says that the natural order of things in nature have to be that we don’t get along?  My name is Gull and this is my close pal Gator.

We’re like two peas in a pod.  We often play in the water like this.  Gator protects me from other things in the water and we have fun.  Can you believe that it actually blows peoples minds when they see us like this?  Signed Born to be Different

Dear Born to be Different – Hey my friends.  I think that is absolutely wonderful to have that kind of friendship.

I’m sure the other animals in the water look at you like a two piece snack from KFC but as long Gator is there to protect you – awesomesauce!


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Dear Bacon – The humans.  They will pay for this get up.  I feel totally ridiculous.  The nerve to dress me up as some kind of twisted frog.  I think the look on my face tells you everything you need to know.  Do you have any ideas on how I can get the humans back?  Signed Feeling Froggy

Dear Feeling Froggy – WOW!  Now that is some sort of predicament my friend.  I feel you 100%.  Your humans really did have some nerve in dressing you like a Kermit want to be.  I don’t know whether to laugh or cry with you on that get up.  As far as pay back – evil piggy snorts.

The humans they do have to sleep at some point.  I’m sure you can think of so many different ways to bring down the wrath of Froggy upon them.  Just act innocent in whatever you decide.

P.S.  Can I borrow that outfit for Halloween?  Maybe I can snatch Miss Piggy with it.


Dear Bacon – 20131208-211436.jpgTalk about animal labor laws.  I often read about your life at the Hotel Thompson and how they make you ‘work for your food’ in a way.  Never complain again my friend.  My humans put me to work out in nature in concrete.  It’s a hard and tedious job… especially in this get up.  Help me please.  Signed Mason

Dear Mason – Oh snap.  Your humans weren’t playing any games were they my friend?  Bless your little heart.  Not only did they dress you but you have to wear those indestructible construction boots.  Shakes piggy head.  I’m so sorry pal.  I will *never* again complain about having to bring my dirty stuff to the laundry room.  Ever.

P.S.  Dad needs some help expanding the driveway.  When you get done with that project, can you help a human out?


Dear Bacon – 20131208-211508.jpgWhat?  Haven’t you ever seen a hamster with his lady working the pole?  Blondie is one of the best pole dancers out there.  I suggest this kind of get up for your bedroom pig.  You might get some girlfriends then.  HA!  Signed Boris

Dear Boris – OMP (oh my pig!)  My eyes!  What has been seen can not be unseen.  We really don’t need to see this my friend.  Although daddy was interested in that pole action, me and mom are not – snorts.  Ya’ll carry on in the privacy of your bedroom.  And don’t worry about me and girlfriends.  I have one 🙂

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11 Comments

Posted by on April 25, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,

My master thinks he is so smart – bark bark.  He put things on the couch in order to make sure “I” wouldn’t get on the couch.  He forgot one thing though.  There is always the back of the couch – HA!  I’m not sure who was more surprised when he found me there – his face was priceless!  Signed One Smart K9

Dear One Smart K9,

That is too funny.  You are really smart.  I don’t know why the humans just don’t cater to us.  They know we are going to figure out the ways – You go pooch!


20130415-093732.jpgDear Bacon,

Does this look pitiful enough on my face?  This is my plead for, “Can you spare a cup of nuts my friend?”  It seems to work at times.  What do you think?  Signed Nut Collector

Dear Nut Collector,

AAWW that look is precious.  I know if you came to my door, my mom would let you have a cup of nuts… possible a safe dry place as well.  Bashful my pet rock gets that look sometimes when he wants things.  There’s just no way you can say no.


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Dear Bacon,

A lot of people are scared of me and I can’t understand why.  Don’t I have a likeable face?  I even try to smile more to make myself more personable.  Signed Smiling Liz

Dear Smiling Liz,

Your beautiful my friend.  It’s their loss if they can’t see that inner and outer beauty.  Keep smiling and doing your thing my friend!


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Dear Bacon,

Do you ever spend time in front of the mirror after you brush your teeth checking yourself out?  I just can’t help it.  This is my time when I practice my smile and winking my eyes.  Signed Vanity the Cat

Dear Vanity the Cat,

You know I do spend some time in front of the mirror.  I think we all need to at times.  I like to personally watch how I move my tail up and down and sideways.  You know cats move their tails with such elegance and I try to practice that to impress the purr things here.  Carry on!


20130415-093913.jpgDear Bacon,

Trouble in 3, 2 and 1.  The master caught us playing on the bed and thought it was hilarious.  You see, I’m not the one that initiates the trouble in this household – it’s the cat.  Always has been.  Do your cats cause this much trouble at the Hotel Thompson?  Signed Innocent Pooch

Dear Innocent Pooch,

Well, yes they do.  They are definitely the little instigators here at the Hotel Thompson.  They like to wiggle those long tails right in front of me to get my attention and then whine if I pull it.  And that Hemi with his extra digits, he likes to run by me and slap my little pig hiney.  Oh yeah, I can definitely relate to the trouble makers – snort.

 
14 Comments

Posted by on April 18, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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What can I say? I’m a chick magnet. Every time I go through the park, the chicks follow me around. It kind of makes me feel like the Pied Piper but with chicks – bark. Signed The Dog

Dear The Dog,
Snorts. I have to admit that you are the dog my friend. Not only one or two chicks – you got the entire clan. Way to go. Don’t walk – strut – you are the dog!


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Oh surprise. Do you think the kids here will be able to guess what their new toy is? Rolls kitty eyes. This is only the beginning of the torture I’m in for. It’s time to get the nails out. Signed Surprise

Dear Surprised,

Let me start by saying yes it is awful that they ‘wrapped’ the kids new toy. But then again on the other hoof, that is so funny and cute. Just think how surprised the kids will be! Snorts. But I have to tell you, you have the patience unknown to me. They even wrapped your tail! You can’t really blame the humans. I mean, you did sit still long enough and allowed them to do this to you. Snorts


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Dear Bacon,
Meow. The humans have this game called Twister. They are in awe of it. What’s funny is the woman human bought this rug from the front room thinking it was just darling and it is. But all I can do is think of their Twister game. Purr thing on blue. Just wait until I stretch to the yellow or red dots. Insert evil purr. Signed Cat Twister

Dear Cat Twister,
OMP (Oh my pig!) You are so right. That rug does look like Twister in an off strange way. That is so cool. I think you should call in the dog, the humans and others in the neighborhood to play with you. It would be outrageous!


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Dear Bacon,
You’re really not the only one with skills my friend. Sometimes when the humans leave up their laptop, I jump on for a few. These humans are twisted. I saw a picture of them on line and I guess my face shows you what I think. My eyes are burning. Signed Shocker

Dear Shocker,

Snorts. Sometimes my friends you should just simply leave things alone when the humans are involved. What is seen can not be unseen.

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7 Comments

Posted by on April 11, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I overheard my dad telling mom last night that he was going camping this weekend.  I love camping.  There’s just something about the woods with all of those trees and marking my territory.  I get excited just thinking about it – oops I almost wet myself.  Anyway, I wanted to be ready when my dad got up this morning.  Do you think I’m dressed appropriately for the woods?  Signed Camper in Training

Dear Camper in Training – Oh my friend.  I think you will have  a blast in the woods with all of those trees.  And look at you!  I think you are more than appropriate.  You look like you belong in the woods making trails.  Yes you do.  I hope you have a blast and one thing.  Be careful of the sticks on the ground that wiggle.


Dear Bacon – This  has been a huge day for me!  First I met my new parents who seem pretty cool to tell you the truth.  Then they took me to this awesome store where they had everything… and I do mean everything!  They bought me food and treats and even fitted me for a cute little jacket in case it gets cold outside.  I didn’t think it fit too good in my arms but my humans said that I would grow into it.  Have you ever been to this store that has everything?  Signed Barks and Cuddles

Dear Barks and Cuddles – Look at you!!  Squeals with cuteness.  Never fear, you will grow into your little jacket.  And hey that jacket looks adorable on you.  I just love seeing your little tail peeking out below the bottom – too cute!  And this store you speak of, yes we have one close by the Hotel Thompson.  Mom/dad have taken me in the past as well as Houdini. It has everything that any anipal can imagine.  It’s such a fun place to explore for sure.  Now you take care of yourself little guy and keep us posted on your growing rate.


Dear Bacon – It’s a hard job keeping one’s self in kibbles and treats.  You see I’m a fashion pup model.  I advertise a lot of times for doggy products.  On this date, I was pushing shampoo products as well as supporting dogs who bathe.  Can you believe that there are dogs out there that never take a bath?  The horror in that!  I just can’t imagine not taking care of one’s personal hygiene.  So, I have to ask my friend.  What kind of shampoo do you use?  Signed Pup Model

Dear Pup Model – Now that is a career!  Look at you my friend.  You do have the legs to be an awesome model for sure.  I use a shampoo made specifically for farm anipals.  I know it doesn’t sound wonderful but it’s awesome on my piggy Mohawk and keeps my bristles less irritating to mom’s bare skin around her ankles.  What we do for our humans, right?  You keep on being the star you are sweet friend.  Happy Bubble Bath!


Dear Bacon – I think I’ve made a grave mistake.  You see my dad was taking some medicine and dropped a pill.  I thought it was cool to play with the pill but accidentally swallowed it.  I then saw this snake on the floor and have been holding it for hours watching it to make sure it doesn’t get loose in the hacienda.  The things we do to protect our humans.  Who knows how long this snake has been wiggling around here.  It could have bit someone!  Signed Snake Watcher

Dear Snake Watcher – Oh no my friend!  You might want to not swallow any more pills in the future.  Hopefully this pill will wear off really soon.  I’m not sure what it was – hopefully nothing too much harmful than what it already is.  I mean, catching live snakes in your house – that pill had to be something wicked.  You might just want to go chill for a while.  Perhaps take a nap and it’s okay to let that snake go.  I bet you won’t even find that snake when you wake up.  It’s okay – you’re safe.  Not walk away from the snake and sleep my friend.


Dear Bacon – I don’t get it.  It was raining outside so my dad put my raincoat on before I went outside.  My raincoat is new and I love it because nothing on me gets wet – you can’t see my rain boots underneath it.  Well me and dad are walking outside and people keep looking, pointing and laughing.  I don’t get it.  What’s so funny?  Signed Sluggo

Dear Sluggo – First up, tell me that’s not your name.  Really? Second up, I don’t think they are laughing or pointing at you.  Nope.  No way.  You are way too cute my friend.  I think they are looking, pointing and laughing at your human.  Humans are weird like that.  You just keep on walking and don’t mind them at all.  Just be careful of salt on the streets okay.


❤ Don’t forget my friends to keep emailing me your letters/pictures coming for Dear Bacon submissions.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU! ❤

 
15 Comments

Posted by on April 4, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

 

20130214-082832.jpgDear Bacon – I think my face may freeze this way.  I saw my humans naked again – the horrors!  I’m not sure if I can ever face them again.

Have you ever felt this way?  Signed Bub

Dear Bub – That is really the look.  Thankfully, my humans don’t change clothes in front of me.  I think if they did, I would probably look the same!

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Dear Bacon – It’s embarrassing some of the things I see in the zoo.  Humans only see things from their perspective.  I on the other hand see things that the humans don’t think other people are watching.  It’s really bad.  I’ve got some stories to tell!  Signed Blushing Bear

Dear Blushing Bear – I think you have a future there.  Perhaps you should write a novel – Stories from the Other Side of the Fence; or You’re Not Alone; or better yet Those Crazy Humans.  I would definitely get it and have mom read it to me at night!


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Dear Bacon – I guess the secret is out.  This is how we nip and tuck in the doggy world.  Sigh – it was bound to make the news sooner or later.  Signed Wrinkles R Us

Dear Wrinkles R Us – I wonder if that would help with my rolls of extra skin?  I’m thinking I’m going to have to try that.  Thanks for the ideas and by the way – you’re beautiful regardless!


20130214-082908.jpgDear Bacon – Yeah, you pay the time for the crime and so do I.  My humans make me sit in time out on the couch in the living room.  So humiliating.  At least you get the sanctuary of your room.  Signed Dog Pound

Dear Dog Pound  – WOW – you do look like you’re in a bit of trouble there my friend.  I have to ask though because I don’t know what you did.  Was it worth it?  Try to stay on the right side of the law my friend.

 
15 Comments

Posted by on March 28, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon – I have the subject locked and loaded. It’s just a matter of seconds now before this powerful machine takes off, leaps and catches his prey. I have the skills of a ninja. I’m silent and deadly. You’ll never see me coming. Do you have this kind of talent pig? Signed Sniper One

Dear Sniper One – I’m shaking here at the Hotel Thompson in my hooves. WOW – that is some talent you have there. I’m amazed. I’m almost speechless. What was your prey? A fly? Oh I know… a piece of dust? Snorts. I don’t need to have ninja skills, or be silent to be deadly. I just need cuteness. Insert evil deviled ham snort. Carry on my friend..


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Dear Bacon – I think my wife has some explaining to do. You see we got married, I had to leave for some business. I came home and there was our “baby”. I think the baby *looks* like us but is not us in some way, fashion or form. I don’t think it’s his coloring – that matches. I don’t think it’s that cute little nose – that matches. I can’t put my paw on it but I don’t think he’s mine. I think I may need to call Maury Povich for a DNA analysis. You think? Signed Mr. Rabbit

Dear Mr. Rabbit – All that matters is love my friend. So he’s different, so what? I’m different than my mommy and daddy too. Doesn’t mean they don’t love me just the same. What’s done is done. That’s why the past is in the past. Just because something doesn’t look like us doesn’t mean we can’t love them with all of our heart.


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Dear Bacon – They say that grass is greener on the other side of the fence. I tried to see. I got stuck. Awesome huh – NOT. I don’t get it. I’m an alligator. I’m stuck half way up a fence. A human sees me. What do they do? You would think help but no – let’s pull out that camera phone and take a picture of the gator stuck on the fence. Dude, if I was off this fence, I’d show them where to put that camera phone. Signed Stuck in Mid Flight

Dear Stuck in Mid Flight – Snorticles. Really dude… I’m not snorting *at* you. I’m snorting at the situation. Let’s look at this for just a tiny minute. You said quote, “If I was off this fence, I’d show them where to put that camera phone.” That’s rich. That’s probably WHY they didn’t help you out. They were simply afraid of you. I know – I know. You can’t really blame them. They don’t see you as the cuddly, loveable snuggable type. They see teeth, nails, teeth, long tail, teeth and massive power strength. Shrugs piggy shoulders. That’s how it is dude. I do hope you got off the fence. I’m sure eventually someone did help, right? Stay strong my anipal.


20140507-085302.jpgDear Bacon – I’ve been holding back in writing to you but I have this huge mystery. See, my human took this picture of me back when it was Winter. I saw this cute poodle in the hood. I went up to say hey, but she didn’t *smell* like a regular pooch? It was weird. What do you think? Have you ever seen this chick before? Signed Pugalicious

Dear Pugalicious – Step back from the poodle my friend. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but that poodle is nothing but cold and made of ice – snorts. Really. She’s snow my friend. You know that white stuff that falls from the sky during Winter. Some human made a poodle chick to fool you. She is kind of cute though. Look at the tail on her – hubba hubba.


20140507-085323.jpgDear Bacon – It’s love. Simple as that. We have found our significant other and we are in love. We have read on your blog in the past about when two half hearts find each other and they melt together forming one it’s meant to be. We looked in each others eyes and it was like we knew all about each other and felt so at home. What can we say? Signed Two Kids in Love

Dear Two Kids in Love – aaww – That picture tells me *everything* I need to know. You two were MADE for each other in every way possible. Carry on and live long!


 
13 Comments

Posted by on March 21, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20140112-005551.jpgDear Bacon – What kind of joke is this?  Do you see these mysterious copy dog’s on my bed?  Please – there is only *one* king cat in this family.  End of discussion.  These have got to be imposters! Signed Lord Kitty

Dear Lord Kitty – How dare them try to get in on your royalty.  I say push them off the bed.  Show them who’s boss.  I don’t think it will hurt them – snorts.

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Dear Bacon – I’m really practicing on my please look.  I think I *almost* have it down pact.  What do you think?  Would you give in and give me what I was begging for?  Signed Please Sir

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Dear Please Sir – Oh my!  Oliver Twist has nothing on you my friend.  I think you have the “please sir may I have another look” down to a T.  Really I do.  Perhaps, I a mere piggy should take lessons from you.  With that pose, you are certainly going to get anything you beg for!

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20140112-005710.jpgDear Bacon – Just me hanging out with my lady love on a Saturday night watching some television.  The humans think we look funny.  What say you our pal?  Signed Two in Love

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Dear Two in Love  – I say you two look hopelessly in love with all of your hearts.  You don’t look funny at all.  Maybe the humans are jealous?

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20140112-005752.jpg Dear Bacon – If there is a box, we must fit.  You know how us purr things can be.  Who cares what came in the box, we want to be in the box.  This is me and my brother doing what we do best.  Do you like boxes as much as we do?  Signed Twin Kitties

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Dear Twin Kitties – That is adorable my friends.  It really is.  You got you a condo going on right there in that picture – snorts.  Me, I don’t like ‘sleeping’ in boxes but I do love destroying boxes.  Just give me five minutes alone with a box.  That’s all I ask.  I will have the bestest of all times!

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Dear Bacon – What?  You know at Old McDonald’s farm, it gets hot during the summer months.  This is a picture of what the old man himself helped us out with last year.  He gave us all tubes and let us sit and relax down our little lake on the property.  It was a ball!  You come visit and I’m sure Old McDonald will be glad to do the same for you.  Signed Billy the Kid

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Dear Billy the Kid – OMP (oh my pig!)  That looks like so much fun!  I will definitely get with mom and see if I can come over for a visit this summer.  Heck, I want to tube down the lake myself for some fun… as long as there are no alligators, crocodiles, anacondas, piranhas or sea monsters.  Other than that, I’m so there 🙂


* Remember friends, keep your questions/pictures coming *

 
10 Comments

Posted by on March 14, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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