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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon – Listen the water is fine my four legged pot bellied piggy.  Why don’t you come for a swim with me.  I’ll even teach you how to swim under the water.  I’m sure you will catch on fast.  What do you think?  Signed Mr. Friendly

Dear Mr. Friendly – Not that I don’t appreciate your well… friendness but I think I’ll pass.  For some reason, I think it’s better for this little oinker to stay on dry land, far away from the water and far, far away from your swimming lessons. Call it a premonition if you will.

But, carry on my friend and thank you… really.


20140330-183825.jpgDear Bacon – The nerve of our family vet.  Can you believe that (A) they had the nerve to come near my captains quarters with that proby thing and (B) they told my humans that *I* needed to go on a DIET?!  What in the world was he thinking?  Don’t my humans pay for his sound advice?  What kind of crap advice is this?  I think the look on my face tells you everything I think.  Signed Tiny

Dear Tiny – Oh dear.  That proby thing is awful.  It must be a torture device from centuries long ago.  Yep, that’s what I think.  And that look on your face.  Oh my.  You are certainly not happy.  And well… looks down at my pot belly.  I am one NOT to give any advice to you on that four lettered dirty word – D.I.E.T.  Shakes head – nope.

Not the one to do that at all my friend.


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Dear Bacon – I see you – purr snicker.  I have my eyes on your activities good or bad.  I’m reporting back to that Evil Elf of yours Don Juan.  You just wait.  You’re going to get it when he comes out in November.  Signed The Watcher

Dear The Watcher – Really?!  It’s not bad enough that I have rogue elf that watches my every move, you’re going to as well?  Rolls piggy eyes and walks away.  This is so not fair in this oinker’s life.  Can’t we all just get along?  Snorts


20140330-183847.jpgDear Bacon – I hate it when I get into trouble here at my casa.  Can you believe that my humans make me face the couch and sit here in time out?  It’s so humiliating.  Signed Unhappy Pooch

Dear Unhappy Pooch – WOW my friend.  That is some look you have there facing your tomb of doom.  It’s just not right.  And to put you in this time out right in the middle of the living room where you can hear and see all of the fun activities going on around you.  Shakes piggy head and clicks tongue.  Nope, just not right.  I’m sorry pal.  Maybe when you come out of serving your time, you just ignore those humans.  Show them who is getting timeout there.  Don’t give them any affection.

None whatsoever… can you last like what five seconds?  Hang in there my bud!


Dear Bacon – 20140330-183858.jpgI double kitty dare you to try this maneuver.  Heck, I triple meow dare you.  I dare you to put your back legs up over your head.  In fact if you can do this position, I will personally come over every day and give you a piggy massage – heck I’ll even clean up your room for you.  Signed Fear Factor Feline

Dear Fear Factor Feline – Really?!  That’s okay my furry friend.  That’s what I have my mommy for – massages and cleaning – snorts.  Let’s hope that cannon of yours doesn’t go off while you are bent legs over head.

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12 Comments

Posted by on 06/19/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20130531-230700.jpgDear Bacon – Summer really stinks.  It’s totally hot and uncomfortable.  All I can do is stand in front of the fan and let the breeze overtake me.  I just have to do something to cool me down.  Signed Flappy

Dear Flappy – Hey pal, whatever you need to do to keep you cool I say go for it!  Momma is a firm believer in her fan in this hot summer.  Can’t we just skip over that season?  I’m all for it.  Let’s start a petition.  What do you think?


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Dear Bacon – Hubba hubba little man.  I find you so fascinating.  I can’t believe a pig like you is still single.  What do you say we fix that problem?  Signed I Do

Dear I Do Don’t – Not that I’m totally not appreciative or anything but I’m just not ready to settle down like that.  You’re totally beautiful and I think you will find the perfect pig one day.  Don’t give up my friend.


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Dear Bacon – You talk about Houdini at the Hotel Thompson a lot of different times.  I just want you to know that I think I’m more spoiled than he is.  My humans actually dresses me too.  It’s a pain in the rump area but hey it makes them laugh.  You ever think about dressing up?  Signed Prissy

Dear Prissy – First off – you look adorable in your little outfit.  Your face doesn’t *look* like you’re enjoying it but hey if the humans are happy, right?  Second off – I can be a fussy little character.  I’m not too proud to say that.  I just don’t see me as a ‘dress’ up kind of guy.  Buy hey if the mom wanted too, I would let her.  Like you said, it makes the humans happy and smile.  That’s our jobs!


Dear Bacon – 20130531-230749.jpgHave you ever heard of the Red Hat Society?  I’m a member and they have monthly meetings.  I think you need to look it up in your area and do a posting on it.  I think it would be fascinating.  Signed  Fun Times

Dear Fun Times – I’ll do that!  I’ve heard mom talk about it with her friends.  There’s also purple hats, right?  🙂 See, I do pay attention even though sometimes mom doesn’t think so.  You wear that hat with pride and look forward to a posting in the future my friend.

 
14 Comments

Posted by on 06/12/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – What’s happening pig?  So like here is the problem dude.  I think like I’m a happening cat.  I got the moves like Jagger.  I wear my hoodie.  My parents still want to treat me like a kitty – what’s up with that? Signed Rap Cat

Dear Rap Cat – Slow your roll purr thing.  You are still a babe.  You’re not a member of the group Stray Cats.

I’m not sure if you been told this but you are pussy cat, not a rap cat.  I hate to be the bearer of the bad news.

Quit trying to go all jive in front of your parents.  Save the rap when they go to bed at night.  I bet they would love to hear that in the middle of the night.


Dear Bacon – I have a small problem.  As  you can see, my parents think I’m their personal marshmallow holder.  I can’t help that my fur is thorny.  What am I to do? – Signed Thorny

Dear Thorny – Give me a minute to pick myself up from off the floor.  I’m sorry dude.  That’s the funniest picture I’ve seen in some time.  You’re parents are really original.  I know it may seem like a pain in your side – HA – but go with it.  They can rent you out to parties and such – you can make money and save for your retirement.  I say go with it and make the best out of it little guy.


Dear Bacon – Finally I have proof with this picture!  When I get in trouble, my parents put me in a corner and point their fingers at me.  What’s a kitty to do? Signed – Hands Up in the Air

Dear Hands Up in the Air – Take your hands down from the air.  Use those paws that you have and swat those fingers.  They won’t be putting baby in the corner anymore.


 

Dear Bacon – I’ve read your blogs.  You talk about bed head.  Come on pig – look at this picture.  I think I have you down on bed head.  Signed – Bed Head Extraordinaire

Dear Bed Head – You got me.  Now please go shower and fix yourself up.  You’re scaring the viewers.

 
15 Comments

Posted by on 06/05/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon – I’ve been hiding most of the day from my brother.  I ate his breakfast.  There I admit it.  I ate his breakfast.  So what.  He snoozed and he lost.  Now though, I feel like he’s been stalking me all day.  Every time I turn around, I can feel him watching me.  He’s watching me right now isn’t he?  Signed Big Trouble

Dear Big Trouble – Oh my friend.  There are just certain things in life that we don’t do.  Eating your brother’s food is one of them.  There will be something to pay for this.  You might as well just push your bowl of kibbles his way tonight to make up for it.  Trust me, with the evil look he is giving you, it might be the right move.


 20131208-205614.jpgDear Bacon – There’s a standing rule in this house whether your are anipal or human, when one is sleeping you do not wake them.  I have to go wizzle.  I’ve had this strange feeling for a LONG time.  But, as you can see kitty is sleeping on me.  If I move, she will wake.  If I wake her, she will be in a bad mood.  So I wait with this pained look on my face.  Signed Helpless.

Dear Signed Helpless – I know the feeling my friend.  Well personally I don’t know the feeling but my mom knows the feeling.  She has been in your position numerous times with one of us in her arms.  Just keep your head up and those legs tight.


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Dear Bacon – Who says that humans can be the only ones with teddy bears.  Here is mine.  He’s my buddy.  We go every where together.  We are playing patty cakes here in the picture.  He’s slow in catching the patterns but he will learn.  Signed Bear Times Two

Dear Bear Times Two – Hey my friend.  Nobody can say anything bad about this.  It’s totally cute!  You always have a friend with you.  Keep teaching him the patty cake song – he might just catch on soon.  Did you see the movie Ted?  It could happen!

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Dear Bacon – What?  It was Curious George and I am Curious too.  I want to know what made George so Curious.  He was totally full of fluff – I knew it.  Nothing between those ears but white fluff.  Guess he won’t be curious much longer huh?  Signed Curious Too

Dear Curious Too – Now the world knows.  White fluff is what put Curious George together.  Hilarious.  Looks like he might need some reconstruction surgery there.  Does your house have a BooBoo Facility like here at the Hotel Thompson?  If so, get him in surgery STAT.


  Dear Bacon – Am I the only dog that has a snake for a sister? I mean, I know we both have the same body type but this doesn’t seem natural to me.  I don’t think we look alike at all.  I’m so confused and a little scared.  Signed Confused Dog Brother to a Snake

Dear Confused Dog Brother to a Snake – WOW!  First off, we need to talk about you my friend.  Wipe that scared look right off of your face.  Dude up right now.  You are a MAN doggy.  Ssnnaakkee – is a girl.  You need to set up your area – start marking your territory.  Don’t let her know that you are scared of her… because personally I would be too but we are men anipals.  Show no fear.  Then work your sister to your advantage.  Treat her as such.  Most men take care of their sisters.  And in turn, they take care of YOU.  Who in the neighborhood is going to mess with YOU now?  If they do, bring your sister along.  I can assure you, you will be king of your hood.  Now, off you go to make nice with your ssiisstteerr.  Let me know how things work out for you okay.

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REMEMBER my friends – these weekly Dear Bacon issues can’t happen without YOU.  Please email me your letters and pictures – thanks!  ❤

 
18 Comments

Posted by on 05/29/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon – I’m just being friendly.  That’s it.  Really I am.  He looked so lonely in the cage.  I just thought I would pop in to say hey and you know give him a reassuring pat of assurance from me.  That’s it.  Really.  Signed Felix the Friendly Kitty

Dear Felix the Friendly Kitty – Sure buddy.  Whatever you say.  Just remember though that the proof is now in pictures.  That means no mistakes in your friendly ‘pats of assurance’.  Just sayin’ my friend.


 20140111-200419.jpgDear Bacon – I’ve heard you come from a long line of football players.  We know not players per say but footballs themselves – Barks!  Well, we gotta game going in our hood all of the time.  Next time you are in the area, join us.  And don’t worry, we won’t deflate the ball at all.  Signed Peyton, Tom, Eli and Brady

 Dear Peyton, Tom, Eli and Brady – What guys you are.  Thanks for the invite and I will definitely keep that in mind.  Can’t wait for the football season to start this year!.


 20140111-200430.jpgDear Bacon – There was this pot that mom had on the porch.  She grows beautiful things in it.  So I was thinking that I’m a puppy and maybe for me to grow into something beautiful, I would pot myself.  I jumped in and added water.  Is it working yet?  Signed Puppy Flower

Dear Puppy Flower – I don’t really think that is how it happens my friend.  But on the other hoof, you look really cute in that bucket.  And hey you got a bath out of it too.  I say just be you.  You are going to grow up soon enough.  And remember one final thought buddy.  You are already beautiful.

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 20140111-200439.jpgDear Bacon – Sometimes no matter how small you are, one needs to draw the line.  The humans put me in a wine glass.  What.were.they.thinking?  A wine glass.  I’m not a wine glass kind of pup.  I think I’m more of an oversized coffee cup kind of pooch.  What do you think?  Signed Small Barks

Dear Small Barks – I have to say my friend, either way I think you are cute in either a wine glass or a coffee cup.  I think you should play it for everything it’s worth.  Make the humans pay in so many different ways – extra treats, extra puppy chow. .


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Dear Bacon – I have to say a puppy power nap is sometimes the best thing you can do.  I highly recommend them any time during the day or night.  Take notes from me pal.  Don’t forget your blankie and pillow.  Signed Sleepy Town

Dear Sleepy Town – WOW!  You are the posted child for a puppy power nap my friend.  I love it and trust me.  I am so taking notes!

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REMEMBER my friends – Dear Bacon issues can’t happen without YOU. Please remember to email me your picture and letters. 


 
12 Comments

Posted by on 05/22/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon – I gotta share my most funniest thing in the entire house to do.  Hang off of this magical roll of fluff!  Meows – it’s the bestest!  Have you ever tried this?  Signed Kitty Roll

Dear Kitty Roll – Snorts!  Looks down at my pot belly.  Nope.  Can’t say that I’ve ever done that before in my life.  For some reason, I don’t think this pot belly would allow it.  But you are right about one thing my friend.  That is a magical roll for the humans.  They love it!

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 20140111-200303.jpgDear Bacon – I think everyone should show their colors and heritage.  This is me and my garb.  What do you think?  Signed Scotty

Dear Scotty – Dude, I think you look righteous in your outfit!  In fact, I could say that you rock!  I’ve gotta research my history and see what my ancestry is like.  Of course, whatever I find will look nothing like you.  You are gorgeous!

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Dear Bacon – There we were in the parking lot of the local Petsmart.  Mavis bet me that I wouldn’t go in the store.  Well, I showed her.  I went into the store, said hey to the cashier who gave me a biscuit and left.  Easy as pie.  Okay, maybe not.  Maybe I took more than one cookie and maybe I left a little drizzle from the excitement.  Regardless I’m a bad boy.  Signed Bad Boy

Dear Bad Boy – WOW!  So that was you I heard squealing out of the local Petsmart parking lot.  Next time remember – sometimes one has to look like a regular guy to get away.  No speeding my friend.  You may hurt someone..


 20140111-200325.jpgDear Bacon – I’m the top champion of the hide and go seek series in our area.  I thought I would share this picture that made me top dog.  Signed See Me if You Can

Dear See Me if You Can –  Oh my goodness my friend. You are the world’s best at hide and go seek.  I wonder if you can teach me some of your tricks.  They are awesome!

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Dear Bacon – My humans will get pay back from this outrageously stupid shirt they have placed on me.  I am not fat.  I am fluffy.  There is a difference.  Oh wait – is that food I hear hitting my bowl… gotta walk fast to it.  Talk Later.  Signed Puss in Shirt

Dear Puss in Shirt – Oh my.  Fat – nah.  Fluffy – sure.  Houdini goes through that all of time.  Extra fur well it does make you fluffy.  I see that.  Now you enjoying a little too much food – looks down at my pot belly – I can see that too from my prospective.  All of the time.  I say hey if it’s not broken, there’s no need to fix it.  As far as your human goes, pay back can be made… I’m sure you can come up with something.  A strategically placed fur ball in one’s human shoe comes to mind 🙂

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REMEMBER friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please be sure to email me your letters and pictures.

 
7 Comments

Posted by on 05/15/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon – You see sometimes when a mommy and daddy get together, something as cute as me comes out between them.  They said that a little stork brought me to them.  I think it’s kind of cool and they look very much in love.  What say you my friend?  Signed Tiny

Dear Tiny – I have to agree 100% my little friend.  You are a special little tyke made up of your mom and dad who look totally in love.  Make them proud and grow up to be a wonderful kitty with lots to give.


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Dear Bacon – This is my life.  I was raised with these two purr things and they have been so very good to me.  I know I’m not a kitty but does that really have anything to do with the bigger picture when you’re full of love in your life?  Signed Bun Bun

Dear Bun Bun – I think you have it right on target my smart little friend.  As long as there is love, nothing else much matters.  You are one very lucky little fellow.

 


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Dear Bacon – I just thought I would share my picture with you of me, my brother and dad.  We are little guys.  Sometimes you just need to climb up on pop and let him carry you, right?  I read about your love/hate relationship with your human daddy.  Perhaps you should take our advice and climb on his lap and let him love you for a while?  Signed Koala Travels

Dear Koala Travels – You are so very right my friends.  Sometimes out of the mouth of babes comes the most valuable advice.

I shall take the time today and crawl on dad’s lap for some loving.  I don’t know which one will be more surprised – me, mom or dad!  Snorts.


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Dear Bacon – Okay I admit it.  I got a little carried away last night when the humans turned in for the night.  Somehow, the Makers Mark liquor came out, it got dressed and I wore a night cap.  I’m not sure what the order was but this is how my humans found me this morning.  Do you think I need help?  Signed Rin Tin Drunk

Dear Rin Tin Drunk – Friend, the first thing in life is admitting you have a problem.  I think we all can figure out which came first… the bottle, the sweater and possibly the night cap.  At least you got out the good stuff in Maker’s Mark – snorts.  Maybe you should contact a DAA (Doggy Alcoholics Anonymous) in your area for a little chat.


Dear Bacon – 20131208-170730.jpgI know you can’t tell from this picture, but I’m the one that runs this house.  Yep, that’s right.  All three pounds of fur reaching up from the pooch – I’m the one in charge here.  What?  You thought it was the barky thing?  Really?  What would give you that idea?  Signed Fluffy

Dear Fluffy – Snorts!  You are small, brave and in charge with a sense of humor.  I love that my little furry purr friend.  I’m a firm believer that if it’s not broke, don’t fix it.  Carry on in charge!

 

 
8 Comments

Posted by on 05/08/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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