Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

After reading your column last week about a cat that does yoga, I thought what the heck. My master has a room for meditation so I tried it.

This position is called my sitting dog pose. I really does work on calming your nerves. Thanks little pig. Signed Peaceful Pal

Dear Peaceful Pal,
I’m glad it worked out for you. You do look really grounded in that picture. Keep up the great work!

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Dear Bacon – hiccup,

My humans tell me that – slurred – I’m spending too much time with my close friend Jose. Hiccup. They don’t complain about me catting around on the streets anymore. They just don’t like my choice of friends. Hiccup. What should I do. Can they pick my friends? Signed Frisky Fiesta

Dear Frisky Fiesta,
You do understand that your friend Jose is not really ‘real’, right? Instead of having a problem with your choice of ‘friends’, you’re humans might want to look into some classes for you… With TAA (Tomcats Alcohol Anonymous). Perhaps you should lose the hat, get a new friend and start listening to the humans. Take care my friend.

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Dear Bacon,

Are baths really necessary? They freak me out. Signed Wet Purrbie

Dear Wet Purrbie,
I love baths. They’re very relaxing. Especially when mom puts bubbles in the water. Instead of fighting it, embrace it. My purr things here love the water. We all do. After a bath, we all get our hair done – that is heaven. Find your happy place during bath time and learn to enjoy it.

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Dear Bacon,

Just wanted to let you know man that we enjoy your posts. Happy Friday. Signed Don’t Worry Be Happy

Dear Don’t Worry Be Happy,
Thanks so much. It takes support and encouragement from fans like you to keep it going. I appreciate that. Happy Friday back to you.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I overheard my dad telling mom last night that he was going camping this weekend.  I love camping.  There’s just something about the woods with all of those trees and marking my territory.  I get excited just thinking about it – oops I almost wet myself.  Anyway, I wanted to be ready when my dad got up this morning.  Do you think I’m dressed appropriately for the woods?  Signed Camper in Training

Dear Camper in Training – Oh my friend.  I think you will have  a blast in the woods with all of those trees.  And look at you!  I think you are more than appropriate.  You look like you belong in the woods making trails.  Yes you do.  I hope you have a blast and one thing.  Be careful of the sticks on the ground that wiggle.

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Dear Bacon – This  has been a huge day for me!  First I met my new parents who seem pretty cool to tell you the truth.  Then they took me to this awesome store where they had everything… and I do mean everything!  They bought me food and treats and even fitted me for a cute little jacket in case it gets cold outside.  I didn’t think it fit too good in my arms but my humans said that I would grow into it.  Have you ever been to this store that has everything?  Signed Barks and Cuddles

Dear Barks and Cuddles – Look at you!!  Squeals with cuteness.  Never fear, you will grow into your little jacket.  And hey that jacket looks adorable on you.  I just love seeing your little tail peeking out below the bottom – too cute!  And this store you speak of, yes we have one close by the Hotel Thompson.  Mom/dad have taken me in the past as well as Houdini. It has everything that any anipal can imagine.  It’s such a fun place to explore for sure.  Now you take care of yourself little guy and keep us posted on your growing rate.

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Dear Bacon – It’s a hard job keeping one’s self in kibbles and treats.  You see I’m a fashion pup model.  I advertise a lot of times for doggy products.  On this date, I was pushing shampoo products as well as supporting dogs who bathe.  Can you believe that there are dogs out there that never take a bath?  The horror in that!  I just can’t imagine not taking care of one’s personal hygiene.  So, I have to ask my friend.  What kind of shampoo do you use?  Signed Pup Model

Dear Pup Model – Now that is a career!  Look at you my friend.  You do have the legs to be an awesome model for sure.  I use a shampoo made specifically for farm anipals.  I know it doesn’t sound wonderful but it’s awesome on my piggy Mohawk and keeps my bristles less irritating to mom’s bare skin around her ankles.  What we do for our humans, right?  You keep on being the star you are sweet friend.  Happy Bubble Bath!

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Dear Bacon – I think I’ve made a grave mistake.  You see my dad was taking some medicine and dropped a pill.  I thought it was cool to play with the pill but accidentally swallowed it.  I then saw this snake on the floor and have been holding it for hours watching it to make sure it doesn’t get loose in the hacienda.  The things we do to protect our humans.  Who knows how long this snake has been wiggling around here.  It could have bit someone!  Signed Snake Watcher

Dear Snake Watcher – Oh no my friend!  You might want to not swallow any more pills in the future.  Hopefully this pill will wear off really soon.  I’m not sure what it was – hopefully nothing too much harmful than what it already is.  I mean, catching live snakes in your house – that pill had to be something wicked.  You might just want to go chill for a while.  Perhaps take a nap and it’s okay to let that snake go.  I bet you won’t even find that snake when you wake up.  It’s okay – you’re safe.  Not walk away from the snake and sleep my friend.

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Dear Bacon – I don’t get it.  It was raining outside so my dad put my raincoat on before I went outside.  My raincoat is new and I love it because nothing on me gets wet – you can’t see my rain boots underneath it.  Well me and dad are walking outside and people keep looking, pointing and laughing.  I don’t get it.  What’s so funny?  Signed Sluggo

Dear Sluggo – First up, tell me that’s not your name.  Really? Second up, I don’t think they are laughing or pointing at you.  Nope.  No way.  You are way too cute my friend.  I think they are looking, pointing and laughing at your human.  Humans are weird like that.  You just keep on walking and don’t mind them at all.  Just be careful of salt on the streets okay.

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❤ Don’t forget my friends to keep emailing me your letters/pictures coming for Dear Bacon submissions.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU! ❤

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
Do you ever question yourself to as whether you’re coming or going? Me and my brother have asked ourselves that a lot these days. So much so, that the master thought it would be fun to take this picture. Signed Running Circles

Dear Running Circles,
That’s a great visual. I do run in circles very often. Usually mom helps me out though and puts me in the right direction.  That is an awesome picture of you two together.  You are so lucky to have a brother.  Sometimes I wish I had a biological brother besides the purr things.  Could you imagine what life would be like with two of us?!  We would rule the world!

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Dear Bacon,
You’re not the only one a little spoiled by the humans.  Every night, we all get ready for bed and hang out. Aren’t my humans the best? I set up the camera and took this shot last night.  Signed Three’s a Party

Dear Three’s a Party,
Snort laughing. That is so hilarious! Yes humans are the best if they allow that nightly. I on the other hand appreciates my independence of my own room…with my own television and my own bed. Not that I’m spoiled or anything like you.  And, I think you got your signature wrong.  I think it should be Three’s a Crowd.  Snort.  Happy sleeps!

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Dear Bacon,
The humans told me that I had to take a bath.  They also told me that I didn’t have to get in the tub. I never thought the alternative would be a tub in the sink. How humiliating!  Have you ever? Signed Suds

Dear Suds,
WOW. I haven’t seen that much bubble action since mom took her last bubble bath in the big tub. That’s a lot of suds. Baths aren’t that bad.  You need to live up all of that attention.  Enjoy the sauna experience little guy.  Don’t fight something that is going to happen with or without your participation.

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Dear Bacon,
Maybe you are or maybe you’re not familiar with this look. I like to do it when there is a lot of people in the house. That makes me the center of attention. Wink – Signed, Splitsville

Dear Spiltsville,
That is really an accomplishment. I think I have done the split in the kitchen on the linoleum several times. Not that I was trying to but these hooves have a tendency to slide on slippery surfaces. I’m sliding so bad in the kitchen that mom finally put a huge sheet on the floor for me to waddle in to help her cook.  That way that move doesn’t happen to me.  Way to go with the thinking of attention. Two hooves up partner!

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❤ Remember friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please send me your letters and pictures to my email ❤

 

Dear Bacon

   Dear Bacon – What the cream cheese is going on here?  My master – he gave me this cute little contraption that had me playing with it for hours at a time.  Then one day, a crack in its matter happened.  The next thing I knew, the toy jumped on my face and wrapped around it.  What the heck?  Signed Clash of the Toy

Dear Clash of the Toy – Well, on one hoof my friend you look like a character for the new Star Wars movie.  🙂 That’s gotta be kind of creative and fun right there alone.  Maybe your owner could take you to opening day and show you off – you would probably get lots of cuddles, pets and perhaps some popcorn?  And what do they say… if it fits you must commit – snorts with piggy laughter.

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 Dear Bacon – I just want to show you that with the presidential elections coming up, I’m putting my paws out for a front man that I can stand beside.  Someone that just screams my name.  Someone that has maybe a better come over than I do.  Someone that you can mention their name by just looking at me.  What do you say little pig – can we count on your vote?  Signed Make America Great Again

Dear Make America Great Again – You know my friend, I’ve heard of that motto before.  Okay maybe not personally but I’ve heard it on presidential breakdowns from the past.  For some reason, I just don’t think it means the same as what you are making it out to be.  But hey what am I to say, right?  When you stand behind your candidate, you really go all out!

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Dear Bacon – I am not amused.  There i said it.  NOT AMUSED. There I was just swimming minding my own business.  Believe it or not, I wasn’t even bothering the humans who were by the way in my water.  I just kept swimming.  Then one of the blokes whose leg I was swimming in/out of had the nerve to reach down and pick me up like I was a mere puppy.  For real?  Doesn’t he have anything to do besides pick on us little folks?  And just as a reminder to him, I will remember his scent.  Cause you know when I get bigger, it might be ME picking him UP out of my waters if you know what I mean.  Signed Bruce

Dear Bruce – I think I would have passed.  I mean really.  You are nearly as long as me and way bigger than the little guy here Houdini.  And you are right.  He was in your waters – in your backyard if you will.  He should have known better.  Don’t take what he did out on all humans.  There are some really good ones out there.  You just go and be nice to peeps okay.  No hard feelings right?

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Dear Bacon –  Bath time is always awesome at my crib.  I go back and forth in/out of the tub getting all of my minions lined up around the tub.  Then my mom gets my bubble bath ready.  That’s when I get in the tub and have my meeting with my minions just letting them know how they have been doing and what is expected of them as my ‘toys’.  It’s a great meeting that I highly recommend every couple of weeks – you know to keep everyone in line.  Signed Minion Master

Dear Minion Master – Hey dude, that is an awesome idea.  Having meetings with your toys to let them know what you expect of them.  Brilliance.  I never thought about that.  I think I will put that into plan here at the Hotel Thompson STAT and let my toys know exactly who is in charge and of their play schedule.  Thanks my friend – happy bubble bath!

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  Dear Bacon – Sometimes when days get you down and it seems like life is on one continuous downfall, you have to take matters into your own paws.  I had one of those *weeks*.  I went to my favorite bar and told the bartender to hit me with a double shot of leche on the rocks.  Then I sat there and purred my problems out for the guy.  I tell you something oinker – those bartenders, they know how to listen.  After getting it out and off my chest, I felt so much better.  Signed Puss in Boots

Dear Puss in Boots – Hey my friend, sometimes you just gotta let it go – get it off your chest – sing to your people and let things go.  It sounds like you did all of that and you are on the right pathway to enlightenment now.  Don’t keep it in my friend.  That leads to bigger problems down the road.  Now I’m thinking a double shot of leche sounds awesome myself.  Cheers!

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REMEMBER my friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your pictures and letters via my email.  

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Sometimes I smell things.  And then I see things.  No, i’m not a ghost.  You see it seems like the yard next to me has it going on with Stacy’s mom.  She’s always grilling and hanging out near the pool.  I just want to go over and play.  The other day, the laughter and the smells were so wonderful.  I stuck my head under the gate to see what was taking place.  I wasn’t really stuck but I acted like it to get everyone’s attention.  They came to the gate and invited me over.  What a party!  Signed Pup of the Party

Dear Pup of the Party – Hey dude, it sounds like you had the plan for the party.  You got an invite – I knew you would with that cute little grin.  Now go and play like a good fellow – tell Stacy’s mom I said hey.

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Dear Bacon – My master likes to play in the yard and work the ground for a garden.  Rolls my doggy eyes.  I’ll help to a certain point – especially when he is planting the watermelon.  Who doesn’t love watermelon, right?  This is me helping my master out by holding his tools.  And I always say safety first – wear a hat to keep the sun out of your face.  Signed Garden Patch

Dear Garden Patch – Hey my friend I like the way you think.  Maybe your master should give my mom some lessons on growing watermelons.  I love those big balls of wonder.  They are so tasty – I even like eating the rind.  Licks piggy lips.  Now look what you have done.  My miniature pot-belly is rumbling for the hungry of a watermelon.  Maybe its not too late in the stores for mom to pick me up one?  I love you being a helping paw.  I think the humans could use more of them.  Take care my friend – happy gardening.

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Dear Bacon – You *always* have that one sibling that can’t keep their tongue out of your ear.  Purrs in aggravation.  Dory has been ‘grooming’ my ear now for twenty minutes.  Can you please make her go away?  If I screech at her, she’ll run to mommy that I’m not playing nice.  Girls – eeww.  Signed Marlin

Dear Marlin – Girls.  That’s all you had to say my friend.  You can’t live with them and you definitely can’t live without them.  You have nerves of steel to let your sister Dory bother you for that long.  Hopefully, it will be over soon.  If not, perhaps you can stretch and tell her you need a bathroom break.  Just a thought!

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Dear Bacon – I am not amused.  Really, I’m not.  The human insisted that I needed a bath.  I could have done my own thank you very much.  But no – the human wanted to give me one.  Help me.  That’s all I gotta say and I’m thinking my look says it all.  Signed Cat in a Shower Cap

Dear Cat in a Shower Cap – Well, wait a minute I need to get a straight face for this, you look all nice and clean.  How ironical that your mom picked out a Tweety Bird towel for you.  It’s kind of fitting.  And that shower cap – OMP – perfect.  No sense in getting water in those cute little perky ears.  Go with it my friend.

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Dear Bacon –  Some people use dowsing rods to find paranormal activity.  I don’t need those.  Some people even use a sixth sense to find paranormal activity.  I don’t need those either.  Heck, I don’t need to find anything paranormal.  I just need to find food.  And let me tell you, with these ears of mine I can find all of the food I want.  They lead me and I follow.  There’s much to appreciate in letting your ears lead you.  Signed Food on the Run

Dear Food on the Run – I say let it be my friend – let it be!  Lead on to the food and pig out!

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REMEMBER friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your pictures and questions via email.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Doggy Instructions

 Snorts – you see this is a funny story. There comes a time in a little doggie’s life that he needs a bath.  Some things are instilled in a pet’s mind that he knows what is coming.  This is one of those times.  I got to watch from the sidelines and took some pictures… and of course snorted a couple of times here and there.  You know because of the little guys antics.  He can really be funny when he wants to be.

See first there was the, “Houdini come here it’s bath time.”  As soon as I heard those words, I knew it was on for some fun times.  See, I don’t run from bath time.  I enjoy bath time.  I think it’s fun to stomp my feet and blow bubbles in the water.  Houdini on the other hand, he likes to be a clown.

He ran around the front room hiding.  In fact, you can see him in this picture.  He thinks since you can’t see his face, you can’t see him… regardless of the point that his wahoo is in the air – snorts with piggy laughter.  What a clown huh?

 But it gets better.  I ran into the bathroom where mommy was headed once Houdini was caught.  Once caught, he was fine.  He cuddled and played and licked mommy. That’s when I noticed it in the bathroom.  You are asking what pig – what did you notice?

Look at this bottle and what is marked – here you go:

“Remember to eliminate all escape routes and in advance (a tip: once your pet is slippery wet he or she is suddenly smarter and faster than you are.)”

Oh my goodness – who writes these instructions?  I want to high hoof them – it’s great!  It’s fantastic.  It made me oink!  It made mom oink…. okay maybe laugh or chuckle or maybe snort.

 But all is good afterwards.  Look at the cute little poochie now.  All squeaky clean.  Sparkly if you will.

And if you look a long time at the picture, it starts to look like Houdini is smiling.  So maybe… just maybe… I’m not the only one who enjoys a nice bath.

What do you think?  You think he enjoyed the bath?

Oh and I have to give it to the little guy – excellent choice in hide and go seek.  Butts up anyone?  Snorts with piggy laughter.

 

Bacon’s Tales of Terror

Welcome my friends to my monthly Bacon’s Tales of Terror.  

Today we have a great one for you.  You see this is something that I saw.  Me and mom were going through some neighborhoods in her Smart car.  You know just driving around hoping that the flow of the car would make us sleepy.  What?  Yes we do that.  Mommy needs help sleeping sometimes – snorts.

So there we were on a back street and that’s when I saw this.  I started snorting… of course after I ducked down from being scared.  What the heck was that?  Mom had to make a circle and come back for a second look.  That’s when she saw it.  She would have ducked too but being in the Smart car there wasn’t much room.  So then we had to make a third circle.  You know to get it on camera.

What the heck were these people thinking?  What the heck is that?  A bird bath?  A head?  A head in a bird bath? Who lives at the house – Satan?  The Munster family?  The Adams Family?  Do birds really “drink” from that fountain?  All great questions.  What would YOU do or feel if that was in your neighborhood?  Would you walk by the house during the day?  What about night?  Would you be brave enough to walk to the door on Halloween?

 

Bacon’s Show and Tell

For Bacon’s Show and Tell for March we are focusing on another great toy you had from childhood.  Mom and dad both had this toy.  They played with it for hours – you could mess things up, redo the picture, write stuff and draw beautiful pictures… if you were talented – snorts.  What was this awesome toy you are asking.

 An Etch-A-Sketch.  Do you remember them now?  Oh my pigs.  Mommy got a dreamy look on her face as she reminisced about her memories.  One of her favorite things was going line by line only moving inches at a time to the left to make the entire screen blacked out.  What a thrill that was when you couldn’t see any part of the screen – snorts – mom was so easily amused for sure.  She said that hers got broken because one of her brothers stepped on the glass part.  Another toy that had a brief life expectancy but was fun while she had it.

Dad remembers playing with his as well.  He had more talent… I guess you could call it that… and he would draw on his.  Now, I’m not saying that you would recognize the pictures – snorts – but he would attempt at it.  And then write messages on it and erase them to keep them secret.  He doesn’t remember what happened to his childhood inspiration.  It’s probably a good thing.

Can’t wait to visit other blogs and see what they had as one of their cherished toys from childhood.  Hope you had fun this month my friends!

 

Bacon’s Show and Tell – REMINDER

Thanks to everyone that participated in my Bacon’s Show and Tell for February- did you have fun learning about everyone’s birth?  I know we did here at the Hotel Thompson.  

For Bacon’s Show and Tell for March we are going to focus on another great toy you had from childhood.  Was there a special doll that you carried around everywhere you went?  Was there a favorite GI Joe or Barbie?  Was there a favorite bathtub toy you had to have to get clean?  Was there a toy you had to have to go to sleep at night?

Mark your calendars for  Tuesday, March 31, 2015 to join Bacon’s Show and Tell.  See you here!

 

 

Bacon’s Show and Tell – MARK YOUR CALENDARS

Thanks to everyone that participated in my Bacon’s Show and Tell for February- did you have fun learning about everyone’s birth?  I know we did here at the Hotel Thompson.  

For Bacon’s Show and Tell for March we are going to focus on another great toy you had from childhood.  Was there a special doll that you carried around everywhere you went?  Was there a favorite GI Joe or Barbie?  Was there a favorite bathtub toy you had to have to get clean?  Was there a toy you had to have to go to sleep at night?

Mark your calendars for  Tuesday, March 31, 2015 to join Bacon’s Show and Tell.  See you here!