Today, August 16th, is National Tell a Joke Day. YAY! Today should be filled with chuckles and laughs all around. Participate in this laughable day and tell some jokes. Do it in person, pass it along in a few emails or blog about it. The more jokes you tell today, the more fun today will be. Start the laughter and keep it flowing.
In honor of this day, Bacon has decided to tell a few jokes that he has heard. Get ready to laugh friends.
Joke 1 –
One of my neighbors owns several cats. On a recent visit, she introduced them to me. “That’s Astrophe, that’s Erpillar, that’s Aract and that’s Alogue.”
“Where on earth did you get such unusual names?” I asked
“Oh, those are their last names,” she explained. “Their first names are Cat.”
Joke 2 –
Why are sharks mostly salt water creatures?
– Because pepper would make them sneeze.
Joke 3 –
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
– Because if they flew over the bay they’d be bagels.
Joke 4 –
What do you get when you cross a flower and a dog?
Now friends – this is a holiday that we can ALL be involved in and celebrate. Today is Wiggle Your Toes Day. But let us not forget the ones that have paws or hooves. So we shall change it just a bit to include ALL.
For humans, they cramp their toes into sneakers or Lord forbid heels all day. Can you imagine that my fellow anipals? Thankfully, us anipals are smarter than the average human. We let our paws and hooves be free to wiggle everywhere all day long. In the grass, in the water, in the sand – it doesn’t matter where.
And did you know that all toes are different in come in different sizes and shapes. Some humans have less toes and some have more. Some of us anipals even have webbed paws or toes. All of us different. But one thing is sure – We are *all* unique.
So mom went out Saturday to get the mail from the mailbox. There she was somewhat still in her pajamas and barefooted. Us animals know because we were all watching her from the front door. Me, Houdini, Hemi and Mouse Girl all bundled together with the heat from the sun coming through the storm door looking out for our mom. You know just in case something happened we would all be there for her.
She made it to the mailbox. We saw. We were so proud of her. Then she started back. That’s when it happened. Mom squealed higher than me, jumped higher than the purr things and then ran faster than Houdini to the front door. We didn’t know what happened. All we heard was hysterics and heavy breathing. Daddy went outside with his magnifying glass in one hand and mom’s iPhone camera in the other. All he could make out from mom was on the house in the corner.
He came back in snorting a bit. He asked mom to look at the gazillion pictures he took to see if he got the guy that made her try out for a triathlon. Much to mom’s amazement, he did. Not so bad for a guy with limited vision – he got the cute little guy. I wonder if he wants to come in and help us out when mom is running late for work? Snorts with piggy laughter.
OMP! I have laughed and laughed and laughed after reading this. This so sounds like something my daddy would have done – snorts. Don’t you think? The poor guy. Too funny!
What the cream cheese?! I’m serious. My mom and dad do not find trouble. Trouble finds them. I’m serious. You don’t believe me? Okay. Let me show you.
This is exhibit A. This is a real book in the book store written by Ira Alterman. You see it was all innocent. Mom and dad went to a vintage book store to find us anipals some new reading material for our bedtime stories. That is when dad found this book. Mom and dad had a fit and laughed like little kids. I mean I don’t know what the big deal is really. We did have a fat pussy here at the Hotel Thompson and her name was Mouse Girl. Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter.
And no they didn’t buy the book. Can you believe it was $100.00?! Mom said they could keep the fat pussy. Snorts!
What at is the craziest book title you have ever seen?
Dearest Mother Nature – Really? This weather you are throwing at us is outrageous. One day it’s in the 70’s and the next day it’s in the 30’s. Daddy says you are going through – what did he call it? – menopause. He says that’s the only way to explain the vast difference in temperatures. I can’t tell you what mommy called it – it was a bad word.
Yesterday here it was beautiful. It was the first day it hasn’t rained. Which by the way it has rained so much that I think I’m sprouting feathers and quacking now instead of oinking. Today when mom went to work, it was so dark I thought it was night. Nope, it was the same time that she usually leaves. It was dark because it looked like the sky was fixing to fall out with thunderstorms. Lovely.
You know there are medicines that you can take for these mood swings. If they don’t help, maybe you need to see a professional instead of taking this out on everyone in the world. I’m just sayin’.
Really? Mom can’t be serious about this new shirt of mine. Shaking my puppy head. I finally got to the spa this past weekend. When mom picked me up, she told me she had me a new shirt. I got excited because well we all know I love my clothes. That is until mom put my shirt on and read it to me. How could she? “Mommy’s Trouble Maker”. Really mom? I do not find the humor in this shirt whatsoever. Giving mom the stern look. You must have bought this for Hemi – he deserves it way more than me. For sure!
So pardon me my friends for keeping our chat time short this week. I need to go have another prayer meeting with mom and let her know exactly what kind of trouble maker I can be – evil barks.
All I can say is that you can’t take my mom/dad anywhere. Trouble doesn’t find them. *They* find trouble. It’s true. I piggy swear it. They are always up to no good. Throw in daddy and his wicked sense of humor and all plans of behaving are out of the window. Take the other day for example. Both of them decided to go out to eat. Heck, that’s nothing new – snorts with piggy laughter. So leave it to my dad to find trouble at the restaurant.
They went to a restaurant that is predominantly known for selling chicken. Yeah – we all like that for sure. But mom sees this sign at the entrance… of course after she made daddy walk through the kids door – shaking my head. So she tells daddy to put his head in the hole of the cut out. That’s my daddy – never asking questions but jumping right in to do what mom tells him. Maybe he should stop that… you think? Mom snaps the picture laughing… and oh yes other customers were laughing too on how trained daddy is.
Then mom sits down and sends the picture to someone on her phone. That person replies back with this meme. Shaking my head. Those two. Please friends – don’t enable those two. Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter.
Shakes head side to side. Welcome to living here at the Hotel Thompson my friends. This is what daddy woke up to this morning in the bathroom. And trust me, he fell for it. I’ve never heard a man scream so loud before. Don Juan is in deep trouble when dad gets a hold of him!
I know Fridays. I live for them every week. Fridays mean that mommy will be home for the next couple of days. Fridays mean I get to stay up late and watch television with mom and dad. Fridays sometimes even mean popcorn while watching b-rated movies on the Sy-Fy channel.
But, I’ve never heard of this Black Friday. It has to be bad. I say this for a couple of reasons. First, when mommy told daddy he would have to “survive” this day, daddy stopped laughing. Heck, for a minute I thought he was going to cry. He kept saying, “But, but, but”. Mommy didn’t listen to him. Second of all, you know something is bad when mommy laughs like the wicked witch from the east. Ooh shivers just hearing that in my head.
So this Black Friday thing, what can it be? Is it dark as black outside all day and it’s a Friday this Black Friday? Is it a plague or disease? Did someone not pay the light bill? Is it the end of days? Should I start stock piling my piggy chow in my bedroom? I’ll admit that this little piggy was scared.
I did what I do best. I squealed, ran to my bedroom and slammed my door. I then immediately started doing some research on my laptop.
ODP (oh dear piggies). It’s worse than what I thought! Did you know that the day after Thanksgiving in the USA, they call it Black Friday? Here’s the scary part. People get up voluntarily at 0400 hours to camp outside of stores to go shopping!. Thud – piggy down! 0400 hours is like way before even Old McDonald gets up at the farm. It’s before the birds start chirping. It’s before they even make the doughnuts at the Krispy Kreme. Heck, it’s before *I* even stir in my toddler bed. That’s early!
Mommy is going to make daddy go shopping with her on Black Friday at 0400 hours. Two words mom. How uncivilized. I can’t believe mom is going to get up before the break of dawn. But friends, don’t feel too sorry for daddy. I saw him the garage laughing and getting “ready” for Black Friday. He was pulling out his old pads from his football days. I think I even saw him with a hockey stick and a helmet. Oohh mommy – who is punishing who now? Snorts.
Miniature pot bellied pig and friends - Bacon, Houdini, Hemi and all of the Rock Clan with Journalist Rocky the Squirrel all out looking for adventures from the Hotel Thompson.
Dearest Mother Nature – Really? This weather you are throwing at us is outrageous. One day it’s in the 70’s and the next day it’s in the 30’s. Daddy says you are going through – what did he call it? – menopause. He says that’s the only way to explain the vast difference in temperatures. I can’t tell you what mommy called it – it was a bad word.
All I can say is that you can’t take my mom/dad anywhere. Trouble doesn’t find them. *They* find trouble. It’s true. I piggy swear it. They are always up to no good. Throw in daddy and his wicked sense of humor and all plans of behaving are out of the window. Take the other day for example. Both of them decided to go out to eat. Heck, that’s nothing new – snorts with piggy laughter. So leave it to my dad to find trouble at the restaurant.
Piglove 