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It’s NANA’s Birthday!!

 

Do a little dance – get down tonight.  Shake it to the left…. shake it to the right… shake it to the side that’s all the best!  Today is a most important day.  What is it you ask?

It’s Nana’s birthday!! ❤

This little piggy will be seeing her later in the day to give her plenty of hogs and snout kisses… and of course I’ll help her blow her candles out too.  So my friends – here’s wishing Nana the happiest birthday of them all!

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30 Comments

Posted by on 02/18/2018 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon, See there’s this place called the GYM that humans and animals work out at all of the time.  You should find it.  You’re starting to look a little porky – bark – ha.  Signed  Stud Muffin

Dear Mutt Stud, You want to go there huh? This exquisite body is 45 pounds of lean shapely pig.  I’m called a pot bellied pig for a reason.  It takes a lot of work to maintain this exquisite physique.  You should only inspire to have this high performance body one day my friend.  That is all.


Dear Bacon, I do not know why you insist on calling those bubbly things in water a spa adventure.  They are not and I will not abide.  You and the humans can not make me.

I will not partake in that watery death sentence.  Signed Cornered

Dear Cornered, WOW – I commend you on the nose in the corner situation.  Is it really all that bad?  I would think that you for one would love to play with the bubbles.

I know the purr things here do when mom is in bubble land.  Did you even stick a paw in the suds?


Dear Bacon, I’ve heard in your Netflix que you have a lot of ghost and life after death shows.  HA – I think I’m right up your alley little man.  Any time you want to take the challenge, you just let me know.  I think I can accommodate you.  Signed Precious

Dear Precious, Who you been talking to about my private Netflix account?  I’m good.  Really I am.  I do find it intriguing but not so much to take a challenge physically to find out.  I thank you very much though for the offer.  It was awfully nice of you and I appreciate the thoughts.  You just take it easy and try not hurt yourself okay.  Thanks anyhow!

 

 

 


Dear Bacon, Sing with me little oinker –

You put your right foot in,
You put your right foot out,
You put your right foot in
And you shake it all about.
You do the Hokey Pokey
And you turn yourself around,
That’s what it’s all about.

Signed Dancing and Singing Elephant

Dear DAS Elephant, I absolutely loved it and needed that snort.  Thanks so much my friend.  Keep up the fabulous work!


❤ Remember friends, Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to email me your pictures and letters. ❤

 
17 Comments

Posted by on 12/06/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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31 Days of Spook – Jokes and Monster Mash

Hello dear friends. Today I want to gently ease into my 31 Days of Spook.  So today, let’s see how smart you are with things of fun.

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?  Bamboo

When do ghosts usually appear?  Just before someone usually screams

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?  Hoblin Goblin

What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet?  A holy terror

Three vampires walk into a bar.  One vampire says, “I’ll have a pint of blood”.  The second one says, “I’ll have the same”.  The third one says, “I’ll have a pint of plasma”.  The bartendar says, “So, that’ll be two bloods and one blood lite.”

How can you tell if a vampire has been in a bakery?  All of the jelly has been sucked out of the doughnuts.

What type of dog does every vampire have?  A bloodhound

 

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Pee-Pee Dance Anyone?

My mom and dad – shakes piggy head.  Sometimes they act five – yep I said that out loud.  It’s the truth.  I can’t believe I let them leave the Hotel Thompson together to venture out and get in trouble.  I will never learn.  But I have to admit, the trouble this time happened once they got back to the Hotel Thompson.

You see, they out for dinner last night.  Nothing wrong with that.  They went to one of their favorite spots and were greeted from the owners with, “Hey, that’s Bacon’s parents”.  Snorts – I ❤ how they have no identity anymore.  They talked to the owners, ate dinner and left.  Upon leaving, they go through the same routine with each other.  I’m sure you know the one.  It goes something like this with dad asking, “Hey, you need to go potty?  It’s a long ride home.”  Followed by mom saying, “No, I’m good.”  Famous last words huh?

So they get into the Jeep for the ride home.  About mid way home, mom can be seen behind the wheel starting the dance.  Oh you know what I’m talking about.  The pee-pee dance.  The one where it hits you from out of the blue with such a wham and you start shifting and moving around – thus called the pee-pee dance – logical thinking is that the ‘dance’ will stop the rush.  Yeah right – it never does.  This is when mom challenges the hamsters in the motor to go faster and tries to get through all of the green lights while you pray to the Gods above that you can ‘hold it’.  All the time, daddy is sitting in the passenger seat doing the, “I asked you if you needed to go” repeat statement.  Yeah thanks dad, that makes every thing seem so much better.

Then daddy goes to the next step to irritate make mom feel better in her circumstance.  He starts telling mom some of the following statements, “That wine sure tasted good huh?” or “Don’t think of running water.” or “Are you ready to go to the ocean?”  See, daddy’s silly or should I say dumb like that.  All the time he is saying these things, mom keeps cutting him the eye.

So they finally pull up at the Hotel Thompson. Mommy is now to the point of struggling.  Raise your hands my friends if you have seen your humans at this point.  Rocking back and forth on their legs, twining their legs together doing the two step, wobbling at the door and trying to put the key into the key hole that at this point looks as big as an eye on a needle – all trying to “hold” it.  Snorts – I told you before that humans are weird.

By this time, I’m on the other side of the door and I can hear mom trying to come in.  So I do what I do best.  I get excited and start squealing.  What?  It’s what I do – snorts.  Mom finally gets the door open but yet she can’t step into the Hotel Thompson.  Why?  Because she really, REALLY has to go now.  If she moves, well you know what will happen.  And of course by this time, Houdini is on play mode intertwining around both of mom’s legs.  Way to go bro!

So she stands there.  I stand there looking at her like, “Hey wazzup mom?”  Then I jumped on her.  Not good.  Not good at all in her situation – snorts.  Then she walks in the Hotel Thompson like she’s a mummy not a mommy.  It looks as if there are invisible bands keeping her knees together and she seems to be walking on her tippy toes.  Now my friends – that is a visual.  She does this magnificent two step down the hall to the powder room.  I go to the door to listen.

So you see my friends, mom and dad don’t have to really leave the Hotel Thompson to get into trouble.  They do just fine here at home – snorts.  And who wants to admit that the next time they see their parents in distress over ‘holding’ it and going to the bathroom, that you will think of my poor pitiful mummy – I mean mommy 🙂

 
19 Comments

Posted by on 09/02/2016 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

  Dear Bacon – Okay I admit it.  I’m in a predicament… some would say stuck between a limb and another limb.  I blame it on these pesky squirrels that seem to have taken over my yard.  I was chasing showing one how to get out and he jumped in the tree.  I followed.  I know you have Journalist Rocky the Squirrel that lives in your backyard.  Any suggestions on keeping the little rats squirrels out of my kingdom?  Signed  Hanging

Dear Hanging – Well you do look kind of uncomfortable there my friend.  The first thing is to get to know those squirrels.  I assure you they are not as pesky as you think.  Really – I assure you.  Make friends – you will be surprised what they will do for you think.  Journalist Rocky the Squirrel and his clan keep out the other unwanted dogs and purr things from my kingdom 🙂


Dear Bacon – Honestly this is *not* what it looks like.  I wasn’t kicking anyone.  I wasn’t having a momentarily lapse of judgement.  I wasn’t going crazy.  You’re going to laugh when I tell you what I was doing.  Really – are you ready?  I was learning how to swing dance.  Yep, swing dance.  It works much better with a partner but I was practicing my moves.  What do you think about that little pig?  Signed Swinger

Dear Swinger – I am highly impressed my friend.  Really I am.  That is such a hard dance to learn and I’m impressed that you are doing it.  If my hips could move like that, I would so join up for lessons with you.


Dear Bacon –  I’m sitting in a pan I am.  It’s the pan for the dog who is a hog (no offense).  He chases me and tries to sting me like a bee.  He no eat until he kisses my feet.  Signed Seuss Without a Rhyme

Dear Seuss Without a Rhyme – Snorts!  No offense taken.  I get it.  You and the dog are frenemies.  You keep your enemies close to you to know what they are up to – usually no good.  Instead of sitting in his bowl, perhaps hide that huge bowl.  No bowl to fill, no food to eat and you can act all innocent like you don’t know what they are talking about when they ask what happened to his bowl.  See where I’m going with this?  Cause you know after a while, it’s going to get boring sitting in an empty bowl.  Unless nature calls… then you have something to fill.


Dear Bacon – I’m telling you, I’m innocent!  I got this pillow off of the master’s bed.  He uses it every night and I thought it would help me sleep too.  I went to sleep and then the next thing I knew the master was home asking me what I did.  Really, I did nothing but sleep.  The pillow must have exploded all by itself!  Signed Innocent

Dear Innocent – I can see by the look on your face that you are not guilty at all.  Nope.  That is not the look of guilt.  I do believe you.  I think you were sleeping and minding your own business.  What probably happened is that maybe your inner dog came out while you were sleeping during one of your dreams.  I know this first hoof because I have a deviled ham side that comes out from time to time.  Shivers – and trust me my friend.  He is a little stinker.  So, off you go now to explain that to your master.  I know he will just have to understand.


Dear Bacon –  Oh dear mercy to the heavens.  Please help me.  My humans have went over the deep end.  Signed Fill in for Nicki Minaji

Dear Fill in for Nicki Minaji – Hubba – Hubba.  Look at you my sweet friend.  I think you got the looks and the skills to pull this off.  I wouldn’t be upset with your humans – I would tell them that if they are going to dress you up like Ms. Minaji, then they have to treat you like the star she is!

.


REMEMBER FRIENDS – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please remember to send me your pictures and letters to my email ❤

 
16 Comments

Posted by on 02/02/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Happy Dance – Happy Dance

Guess who my mom/dad talked to this morning – go ahead guess.  I bet you can’t guess.. can you?  Do you know?

They got to talk to my brother Easy’s  parents across the pond.  So cool!  They absolutely LOVED it.  This isn’t the first time they have spoken but it’s like its the first time every time – why?  Because they are so cool!  We just love it!  But hey – now that I think of – why didn’t *I* get a chance to snort at Easy?  Why were mom/dad hogging the phone?  Bad mom/dad.  I think ya’ll should go to your room for some punishment.  Yeah that’s it.  Time off for you two.  Don’t worry.  I’ll be in charge of the other anipals.  Snorts with evil piggy laughter.

Hope everyone has an awesome Saturday – piggy out!

 
16 Comments

Posted by on 09/26/2015 in Bacon

 

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PPSSTT – I Have a Secret

Time to do some partying and dancing my friends.  Me and dad have a secret but you have to keep it to yourself okay.  Are you ready – pinky hoof/paw promise – you can’t tell – especially my mommy that I told you.  July 3rd is mom’s 29th birthday again.  We are throwing her a surprise birthday party here at the Hotel Thompson on July 3rd.  She doesn’t have a clue!

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ssshhh – you didn’t hear that from us okay.  I gotta go practice some twerking now for the party 🙂  Where is Fozzie – the twerk team captain?  Snorts!

 

 
30 Comments

Posted by on 07/01/2015 in Bacon

 

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