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Friends I Need Your Help

This is me over the weekend.  Yep believe it or not I’m digging the backyard at times.  There’s all kinds of adventures to be held out there.  I look at this picture and it screams to me that I’m too skinny.  Really!  Look at those ribs.  I think I need to ‘fatten’ up a bit.  Dad agrees but I think for an entirely different reason if you know what I mean – shivers to mergatroid.

Mom says I’m just fine and that she has to watch my weight because a heavy piggy is a sick piggy.  I hear her.  I really do.  But when she starts talking diet stuff all I hear is blah, blah, blah.  I mean, what’s a couple of more bananas and another cut of animal crackers a day.  Piggy starving here…. snorts with piggy laughter.

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22 Comments

Posted by on 07/05/2018 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m a Himalayan Marmot.  I like to hang out at high elevations.  It helps me to destress and meditate.  I find a happy spot on some rocks, look over my kingdom and focus on being a better marmot.  What makes you feel good little man?  Signed Deep Thoughts

Dear Deep Thoughts – You already have me in deep thoughts with that picture my friend.  I myself don’t like the higher elevations or looking over anything with that height.  I think I would panic.  I do however try to meditate in my room after my dinner.  I focus on happy things over my kingdom at the Hotel Thompson.


Dear Bacon – There is nothing like laying around after a good meal.  I like to put on my little sweater to keep me warm.  Do you wear clothes?  Signed Petite Sweets

Dear Petite Sweets – That is a real look there my friend.  You do look like your ‘full’.  And, I do like the sweater.  I’m not much of a sweater person myself.  I do wear t-shirts though.  Mom has a couple of pictures.  I’ll have to find them and post them later.


Dear Bacon – You know that happy feeling you get when the human loves on you, you’re tired from playing and things are right in life?  I have here.  Can you tell?  Signed Happy Pooch

Dear Happy Pooch – I would have never guessed you were happy in that picture my friend – snort.  I think it’s the grin that gives it away.  It looks like you ate the mailman or something and got away with it.  Stay happy my fellow four legged friend.


Dear Bacon – Be honest with me my friend.  Are my ears big?  I kind of have a complex with them.  They worry me.  The humans don’t say anything but they look at me with that pitiful look in their eyes like something is wrong.  What do you think, be honest.  Signed Tiny

Dear Tiny – I’m a firm believer in loving what God gave you.  God gave me a pot belly.  It’s there.  I can’t help it.  The only thing I can do is love what I got.  When you are happy with yourself – you will be happy pooch.  It shouldn’t matter what others think.  Make the best of what God gave you and go with it.  I know I am!  Hogs and kisses my little buddy.

 

 
15 Comments

Posted by on 03/13/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Health Warning!!

20140112-001151.jpgDo NOT wash your hair in the shower!  I found this warning on line for mom and it explains everything my friends.  It’s so good to finally get a health warning that is totally useful!

Mom is always shampooing her hair in the shower and now this explains what has happened to her.  When she washes her hair, the shampoo runs down her entire body and printed very clearly on the bottle it says:

FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME

No wonder she has gained weight!  From now on, she is going to use Dawn Dishwashing Soap.  It’s label reads:

DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE.

 
14 Comments

Posted by on 03/03/2018 in Bacon

 

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Texts from Bacon

Sometimes you just get hungry.  What can this oinker say?  I have to maintain this gorgeous pot belly somehow – right?  My posts are white and moms are green this time.  Enjoy –

 
12 Comments

Posted by on 11/06/2017 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon – Listen the water is fine my four legged pot bellied piggy.  Why don’t you come for a swim with me.  I’ll even teach you how to swim under the water.  I’m sure you will catch on fast.  What do you think?  Signed Mr. Friendly

Dear Mr. Friendly – Not that I don’t appreciate your well… friendness but I think I’ll pass.  For some reason, I think it’s better for this little oinker to stay on dry land, far away from the water and far, far away from your swimming lessons. Call it a premonition if you will.  But, carry on my friend and thank you… really.


20140330-183833.jpgDear Bacon – I see you – purr snicker.  I have my eyes on your activities good or bad.  I’m reporting back to that Evil Elf of yours Don Juan.  You just wait.  You’re going to get it when he comes out in November.  Signed The Watcher

Dear The Watcher – Really?!  It’s not bad enough that I have rogue elf that watches my every move, you’re going to as well?  Rolls piggy eyes and walks away.  This is so not fair in this oinker’s life.  Can’t we all just get along?  Snorts


 

20140330-183825.jpgDear Bacon – The nerve of our family vet.  Can you believe that (A) they had the nerve to come near my captains quarters with that proby thing and (B) they told my humans that *I* needed to go on a DIET?!  What in the world was he thinking?  Don’t my humans pay for his sound advice?  What kind of crap advice is this?  I think the look on my face tells you everything I think.  Signed Tiny

Dear Tiny – Oh dear.  That proby thing is awful.  It must be a torture device from centuries long ago.  Yep, that’s what I think.  And that look on your face.  Oh my.  You are certainly not happy.  And well… looks down at my pot belly.  I am one NOT to give any advice to you on that four lettered dirty word – D.I.E.T.  Shakes head – nope.  Not the one to do that at all my friend.


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Dear Bacon – I double kitty dare you to try this maneuver.  Heck, I triple meow dare you.  I dare you to put your back legs up over your head.  In fact if you can do this position, I will personally come over every day and give you a piggy massage – heck I’ll even clean up your room for you.  Signed Fear Factor Feline

Dear Fear Factor Feline – Really?!  That’s okay my furry friend.  That’s what I have my mommy for – massages and cleaning – snorts.  Let’s hope that cannon of yours doesn’t go off while you are bent legs over head.


 

20140330-183847.jpgDear Bacon – I hate it when I get into trouble here at my casa.  Can you believe that my humans make me face the couch and sit here in time out?  It’s so humiliating.  Signed Unhappy Pooch

Dear Unhappy Pooch – WOW my friend.  That is some look you have there facing your tomb of doom.  It’s just not right.  And to put you in this time out right in the middle of the living room where you can hear and see all of the fun activities going on around you.  Shakes piggy head and clicks tongue.  Nope, just not right.  I’m sorry pal.  Maybe when you come out of serving your time, you just ignore those humans.  Show them who is getting timeout there.  Don’t give them any affection.  None whatsoever… can you last like what five seconds?  Hang in there my bud!

 
14 Comments

Posted by on 06/06/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Panchetta,
I am an artist!  Do not think twice of me on my drinking.  It inspires my inner soul.  I would like to paint you – all of you since you are a plus size piggy.  Would you pose for me?  Signed Raphael Chickatello

Dear Raphael Chickatello,

WOW – I am honored… I think.  I really don’t think that I am old enough to pose in any of your paintings.  I think you should move on to maybe cows.  That’s it – cows.  I think cows should be your muse.  They are so much more to work with than just me… a little pig.  Carry on my friend and paint to your hearts content.

 


Dear Bacon,
Insert spy music.  The humans think they are so smart in putting out these ‘traps’.  They hurt!  But never fear, this is how we really get the cheese without setting them off.  Now you know our secrets!  Signed Top Mouse

Dear Top Mouse,

I love that move!  I wonder if there is enough wire to suspend me over something delicious.  It looks like a hoot!  You definitely have the moves my friend.  Keep it up my secret friend!


Dear Bacon,
I read about you watching television all of the time. I love to watch my shows too – especially the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They fascinate me for some reason. Do you like them? Signed Raffie

Dear Raffie,
I just can’t understand why you would like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. . I mean really, they’re turtles. It blows my mind to figure that one out. And yes, I do like to watch the show as well my friend.

 


Dear Bacon,

Just the facts little guy.  Nothing but the facts.  We’ve been watching too many repeats of the movies Men in Black.  Don’t ask me which is which.  We just like to dress like Kay and Jay.  You know, just for fun and giggles.  The neighborhood doesn’t know how to act when we roll into it – bark.  What do you think?  Do you like to dress up like any of your favorite guys?  Signed Kay/Jay

Dear Kay and Jay,

Oh dudes – I love the look!  That is so neat.  I’ve seen those movies and ya’ll kind of look just like the two.  I think it’s the ties and sunglasses.  I would love to roam around in my costume too.  I secretly want to be a piggy super hero.  I keep asking mom to make me a cape.  I know with a cape, this little piggy would have special powers and be able to fly.  Stay cool barky things!


❤ Remember friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to email me your letters/pictures ❤

 
12 Comments

Posted by on 12/20/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon, See there’s this place called the GYM that humans and animals work out at all of the time.  You should find it.  You’re starting to look a little porky – bark – ha.  Signed  Stud Muffin

Dear Mutt Stud, You want to go there huh? This exquisite body is 45 pounds of lean shapely pig.  I’m called a pot bellied pig for a reason.  It takes a lot of work to maintain this exquisite physique.  You should only inspire to have this high performance body one day my friend.  That is all.


Dear Bacon, I do not know why you insist on calling those bubbly things in water a spa adventure.  They are not and I will not abide.  You and the humans can not make me.

I will not partake in that watery death sentence.  Signed Cornered

Dear Cornered, WOW – I commend you on the nose in the corner situation.  Is it really all that bad?  I would think that you for one would love to play with the bubbles.

I know the purr things here do when mom is in bubble land.  Did you even stick a paw in the suds?


Dear Bacon, I’ve heard in your Netflix que you have a lot of ghost and life after death shows.  HA – I think I’m right up your alley little man.  Any time you want to take the challenge, you just let me know.  I think I can accommodate you.  Signed Precious

Dear Precious, Who you been talking to about my private Netflix account?  I’m good.  Really I am.  I do find it intriguing but not so much to take a challenge physically to find out.  I thank you very much though for the offer.  It was awfully nice of you and I appreciate the thoughts.  You just take it easy and try not hurt yourself okay.  Thanks anyhow!

 

 

 


Dear Bacon, Sing with me little oinker –

You put your right foot in,
You put your right foot out,
You put your right foot in
And you shake it all about.
You do the Hokey Pokey
And you turn yourself around,
That’s what it’s all about.

Signed Dancing and Singing Elephant

Dear DAS Elephant, I absolutely loved it and needed that snort.  Thanks so much my friend.  Keep up the fabulous work!


❤ Remember friends, Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to email me your pictures and letters. ❤

 
17 Comments

Posted by on 12/06/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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