Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I think my face may freeze this way.  I saw my humans naked again – the horrors!  I’m not sure if I can ever face them again.  Have you ever felt this way?  Signed Bub

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Dear Bub – That is really the look.  Thankfully, my humans don’t change clothes in front of me.  I think if they did, I would probably look the same!  I mean once something is seen, it can not be unseen and erased from our memory.  I’m so sorry pal!  Maybe ya’ll can come up with a code of some sorts or tell them to shut their door when they change or when they are in the bathroom.  Nobody wants to see a naked human – shivers.

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Dear Bacon – It’s embarrassing some of the things I see in the zoo.  Humans only see things from their perspective.  I on the other hand see things that the humans don’t think other people are watching.  It’s really bad.  I’ve got some stories to tell!  Signed Blushing Bear

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Dear Blushing Bear – I think you have a future there.  Perhaps you should write a novel – Stories from the Other Side of the Fence; or You’re Not Alone; or better yet Those Crazy Humans.  I would definitely get it and have mom read it to me at night!

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Dear Bacon – I guess the secret is out.  This is how we nip and tuck in the doggy world.  Sigh – it was bound to make the news sooner or later.  Signed Wrinkles R Us

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Dear Wrinkles R Us – I wonder if that would help with my rolls of extra skin?  I’m thinking I’m going to have to try that.  Thanks for the ideas and by the way – you’re beautiful regardless!

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Dear Bacon – Yeah, you pay the time for the crime and so do I.  My humans make me sit in time out on the couch in the living room.  So humiliating.  At least you get the santuary of your room.  Signed Dog Pound

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Dear Dog Pound – WOW – you do look like you’re in a bit of trouble there my friend.  I have to ask though because I don’t know what you did.  Was it worth it?  Try to stay on the right side of the law my friend.

 

Texts from Bacon

What can I say?  Sometimes this sweet Bacon has an alternative side that comes out that mom refers to as deviled ham.  I know – those days are tough.  Last night, we went to a local carnival.  Mom called before hand to ask if I could go.  They were all for it.  Me, mom and dad went and was having a really good time.  I’ve never been petted so much in my entire life!  Things got a little carried away though towards the end and deviled ham came out.  Shuffles hooves and puts head down – it happened and I can’t take it back.  So you know when we got back to the Hotel Thompson, I had to serve time for the crime.  Here’s a text between me and mom.  My texts are in blue and moms are in gray.  Enjoy my friends.

 

 

 

Happy Dance – Happy Dance

Guess who my mom/dad talked to this morning – go ahead guess.  I bet you can’t guess.. can you?  Do you know?

They got to talk to my brother Easy’s  parents across the pond.  So cool!  They absolutely LOVED it.  This isn’t the first time they have spoken but it’s like its the first time every time – why?  Because they are so cool!  We just love it!  But hey – now that I think of – why didn’t *I* get a chance to snort at Easy?  Why were mom/dad hogging the phone?  Bad mom/dad.  I think ya’ll should go to your room for some punishment.  Yeah that’s it.  Time off for you two.  Don’t worry.  I’ll be in charge of the other anipals.  Snorts with evil piggy laughter.

Hope everyone has an awesome Saturday – piggy out!

 

“What are you Five?!”

Snorts.  Daddy is serving time out today.  (Which is nice because it’s usually this little oinker).  That’s right.  Mommy knew this picture would come in handy when she took it.  He’s finally went over the deep end this past weekend.  Mommy told him quote, “What are you five?  Act your age not your shoe size.”  Which that last part didn’t make sense cause daddy wears a size 10 – shakes piggy head in confusion.

You see it started like this.  Mommy and me were watching one of our shows on television yesterday.  Daddy kept talking like the Duracell bunny and would not shutty.  For those that don’t speak mom, shutty means stop talking.  So, mom did what she always does to daddy.  She told him, “Ssshhh”.

That’s when it happened.  Daddy said, “It”.  What?  I don’t get it.  But mom gave him the best stink eye that I have ever seen come from that lady.  It was the topper of all stink eyes.  Then she told him it wasn’t funny.  What wasn’t funny?  Then we started watching television again and Mr. Yackity-Yack started talking again. Can you believe that man?  Mom told him again, “Ssshhh”.  Daddy said, “It” again.

That’s when mom almost lost her religion but at the last minute she got saved and started laughing.  I still don’t get it.  Do you?

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
Daddy was holding my head and kept making funny faces at me.  I thought it was only fair play that I returned at least a funny face too.  What do you think?  Signed Twisted

Dear Twisted,
OMP (Oh my pig!)  I love that face.  Humans can be so silly with us, can’t they?  They make all these goo goo gaa gaa sounds and twist their faces up.  I think it’s only time that we turn it around and do it back to them.  Fortunately, your dad had the camera on.  Great face my friend.  Thank you so much for sharing the fun!

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Dear Bacon,
Oh rawr and barks.  I read your blog and see that you are ‘trained’.  I can’t believe you let your humans do that to you.  A trained pig – barks.  Who has ever heard of that.  Signed Jolly

Dear Jolly,
Really?  Are you done now laughing at me.  Tell me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that harness around your neck?  Who’s trained now barky thing?  snorts.  PLOL (Pig laughing out loud).

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Dear Bacon,
They say admission is the first step and I admit it.  I attacked the vacuum cleaner.  Well, I really don’t think it was so much of an attack as it was a jump while it wasn’t looking.  Heck, it was making way too much noise.  And to think mom yells at me when I bark!  I was just trying to get it to be quiet.  You can’t really blame me, can you?  Signed Pupattack

Dear Pupattack,
Well, what you say is true.  How can the humans get on to us and make us walk a certain line of rules and other things can’t.  Just like at the Hotel Thompson.  How come I can bark and squeal but daddy can sing off key loudly in the shower?  I think it is all in fair play.  I back you my friend.  Get the petition started.  I would sign it to get you out of that basket.  By all means – let me sign it to get you out of the cobra basket. 🙂

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Dear Bacon,
Hey, what’s up my friend?  Just chilling here in the sun.  I think you should come down under and see me.  We could have a lot of fun together.  Heck, I would even let you ride in my pouch good looking.  Signed Roolove

Dear Roolove,
You do look awfully comfortable there my friend.  So relaxed, sleepy looking from the sun actually.  Although I would love to visit and ride in your ‘pouch’, I’m afraid it might be bit of a trip for me.  Although, Bashful my pet rock is down under visiting.  Maybe you can look him up and give him a little ride.  Just be sure to please return him to his host family.

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Dear Bacon,
I love – just LOVE – doing this to Jed.  I walk up behind him and disguise my voice saying, “Guess who?”  Has anyone ever done that to you?  It’s a fun little game we play.  Do you know he still never guesses its me.  He’s a hoot.  I fool him every single time.  Do it to one of your purr things and see what happens.  Go ahead.  Signed Fool You

Dear Fool You,
That is a cute little game my friend.  I think I will tell Mouse Girl about this and have her do it to Hemi.  That should be hilarious to see how that goes down.  I can almost picture in my mind.  I’ll be sure to try and have the camera ready for a photo opportunity.  Thanks my friend for the game.

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Remember my friends, send your pictures and questions to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com

Keep them coming and have a great Tuesday!

 

How I Got Back on Mom’s Good Side

Just imagine you are on a date with your spouse and then your cell phone goes off with a text message.  You know by the sound of the ring that it’s from one of your kids.  You go to look at it and WOW – it’s a text from ME – Bacon.  Who could stay mad at this little oinker for long?  Especially when I’m giving you a heads up about free coffee!  Mommy is a sucker for coffee.

After mom and dad’s date they did go to Dunkin Donuts.  Mommy didn’t get the free coffee.  She got the pumpkin white chocolate latte.  She said it was delicious.  I wouldn’t know because she didn’t give me a taste of it… BUT, she did bring me some donut holes. 🙂

So, that is how you get back on mommy’s good list.  She drunk her coffee while I was in her lap getting snuggles.  Everything is back to being good at the Hotel Thompson.

Oh, and what?  Doesn’t every pig have an iPhone?  It’s only the 3G that mom used to have but it still works for these emergency type situations – snorts.

 

Mommy Time Out

Usually I am the one getting into trouble at the Hotel Thompson and serving the time for the crime. But this time, it was mommy – snorts.

Apparently driving home last night from the worky place mommy got all worked up and frustrated. What takes her normally 15 minutes to get home took her 35 minutes tonight. When she got home, she went off like a firecracker on the Fourth of July. It’s very rare to see mommy like this. In fact, I really can’t remember mom having a time out. But, she did last night. Daddy sent her to her room for a time out. I’m not sure who was more shocked. Me or mommy – snorts. But it was all in good fun.

She served her time and came out after a while. Finally we all listened to mommy ramble and get everything off of her chest. I have to admit, some of it was funny. See how many of these traffic situations you’ve been against while you’ve been behind the wheel.

1. Car signals. Mommy said that they are on the car for a reason. It lets the people behind you know of your intentions when driving. I guess some people don’t understand that simple notion. They go left or right without a signal or immediately stop for no reason out of the blue. Then there are the people that turn a right signal on and then turn left or vice versa.

2. I admit this next one cracked me up. Mommy said sometimes when you are driving, people need to get in front of you for a number of different reasons. You know, coming out of a lane, a business, etc. But when you let them, the nice thing to do is to wave as a little thank you. Mommy says it totally frustrates her that a lot of times people don’t thank you. She said she would even take ‘that’ hand gesture to acknowledge her gesture of kindness. And we all know what “that” hand gesture is – snorts.

3. What’s the rush? Mommy says it is totally frustrating to have someone behind you riding your bumper. They are in such a hurry that they go around you and get in front of you just to turn at the next exit. Really? What is the rush? You saved what – 2 seconds?

Have you ever experienced these types of driving frustrations? Can you relate to mommy?

 

Daddy Piggy Love

After my bad behavior last night, my prayer meeting with mom and my time out, I had a long time to reflect on my evil ways. This behavior is totally unaccepted here

 at the Hotel Thompson. Going to bed early last night gave me plenty of time to think about my situation.

Bullying at the Hotel Thompson is totally against the rules. I had a momentarily lapse in sound judgment. Mom explained to me that dad was just trying to give me some loving. I explained to mom that me eating and the way dad was scratching me made me think he was trying to get me away from my food. He is after all the alpha male in this establishment. Bottom line, I lost my mind.

Things are fine now. Me and dad have made up. Just to proof it, mom caught this picture of us last night. Can’t you see the love in my face?

 

 

Sorry Dad

I was a bad piggy. I mean a really naughty piggy. Do you understand when I say a Deviled ham, lost my mind, had an out of body experience, went stupid for a moment kind of bad oinker?

Last night every thing was going just fine. Mom fed me my evening snack of an apple and I was eating it. Well, dad started scratching my hind quarters. I didn’t like it. Not the apple, the scratching. I turned around and went all ninja pig on poor unexpecting daddy.

It wasn’t just a bark or a snort. It was full ninja pig running up the side of the couch, biting dad shirt and pulling on it. I’m not really sure who was more surprised. Me, dad or mom.

We all kind of freaked out for a minute. Then mom jumped into action telling me no and to go to my room. I knew I was in trouble with the tone in moms voice. I felt like Kevin in the movie Home Alone when he gets sent to the third floor to sleep for time out. Mom was ticked.

I served time for my crime and then mom came to my room and we had a little prayer meeting. I went and apologized to daddy and made up with him. Afterwards, I got on the couch with mom for a few minutes for snuggles. Just enough snuggles to know that mommy loves me and was not mad at me.

Don’t think I got off that easily though. I had to go to bed early without a bed time story and without a carrot on my pillow. That bites.

 

Trouble at Hotel Thompson – Time for the Crime

Sometimes it’s not all glitter and sparkles at Hotel Thompson.  Believe it or not, sometimes I get into trouble.  Mom believes whole heartedly that if you do the crime – you serve the time.  And trust me, I have served the time at the Hotel Thompson. 

Sometimes all you hear is the good things and for the most part I am sweet Bacon.  But there are the times that I can be deviled Ham.  Usually in the winter time, I hibernate and don’t cause trouble.  Living in the south though, you don’t know what season it is.  Although it says it suppose to be Winter, sometimes it feels like Spring or Fall.  Then, you throw in the elements of rain and you might as well call it a day. 

My biggest problem at the Hotel Thompson is that I “know” what is right and what is wrong.  Mom compares me at times to a two year old.  I have to push my boundaries.  I need to know how far I can go without getting in trouble.  Usually though, when mom says NO and then starts counting, uh oh you’re in trouble and it’s too late.  And if she makes it to three when counting, you’re going to serve some time for the crime.

Take last night.  I was in the kitchen with mom supervising her dinner preparations.  I went over to the garbage can and butted it with my snout.  I was looking straight at mom when I did it and heard her say no.  It’s kind of like the movie Finding Nemo where Nemo touches the boat when his dad says no.  You’re going to do it anyway.  One time butting the garbage can, I was forgiven but scornfully told no. 

The second time I butted in, mom fussed at me and said I was pushing it and there better not be a third time.  Well, you see that is moms fault there.  She challenged me.  I have to accept that challenge.  She’s cooking dinner.  What could she possibly do in the middle of that if I did it again, right?

The third time I butted it, it was over.  Now remember there was nothing in the garbage can I wanted.  I just wanted to see how much I could push mom.  I just had a wild hair in me.  I’ve never seen mom move so fast!  She had me corralled and in no time I was in my room being ignored by mom.  I cried.  I yelled.  I snorted.  I barked.  Nothing.  Mom completely ignored me.  No treats.  No loving.  No nothing.

Being ignored by mommy is the worse!  After dinner when I came back out, she still ignored me.  I hate that.  I changed my rotten ways really quick and got back on track.  I snuggled with her and loved on her.  When mom put me to bed that night, we had a little prayer meeting about my behavior.  I knew I was wrong.  Sometimes I just need a little direction and correction… you know just like a regular kid.

That’s why it doesn’t happen often but when it does I’m almost piggy evil about it.  But you don’t do that, do you?  Tell me I’m not the only one that pushes the limits with their parents.