Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m a clown in the circus.  I love working in the circus except for one thing – I don’t like when people squeeze my red nose.  Other than that, it’s a blast.  Signed Pancho the Donkey Clown

Dear Pancho the Donkey Clown – That’s *all* you worry about?  People squeezing your red nose?  Not your clothes, the hat or the make-up.

Just the people squeezing your nose?  Dude, go with it!  Have fun at a job you love and earn your money while you can.

Maybe one day you can move to that donkey retirement community you’ve been looking into.

---

Dear Bacon – I’m a happy pooch now.  I had some problems with my teeth and my master took me to the dentist.

I am so happy with the results!  AND he put in a little bling for me.  What do you think?  Signed Smiling Pooch

❤

Dear Smiling Pooch – Well, your smile brought a smile to my face – it must be working.  You do look really happy in that picture.

And, I kind of like the bling.  Your master must really love you my friend!

---

Dear Bacon – Sometimes in life, we just have to stop and smell the roses.  You know, take each day one day at a time and focus in on the moment.  I’m a lot more relaxed these days doing that.  Signed Goat of Leisure.

❤

Dear Goat of Leisure – Yes my friend.  You do look really relaxed in that floatie.  I think I may have to take some time today to enjoy the moment.  Thanks for sharing your deep thoughts.

---

Dear Bacon – We have a game in the house where us purr things get into the boxes that are attached by the string.  The string is attached to the barky thing that pulls us around the house.  It’s really kind of fun.

Maybe you can use this traveling method for your purr things?  Signed Sliding Kitties

❤

Dear Sliding Kitties – Yes I think that would be perfect for the purr things here.  *I* can get in a box and *they* can pull me around the house.

Perhaps they can bow down to me as well – snort.  It does look like a fun way to travel through the house!

---

 

Dear Bacon – It’s cold outside in this weather.  Betsy and I have been knitting and this is what we came up with.  It’s quite the hit on the farm.  It did take us a while to knit it though – it’s hard knitting with your beaks.  What do you think?  Signed Two Cold Chicks

Dear Two Cold Chicks – That is very creative.  I’m kind of digging it.  Do you think you ladies can create something for me?  I would cherish it and wear it forever!

 

Are You Ready for Some Bowl Games??

 First off, let’s talk about the most important bowl game today – Puppy Bowl. The show starts promptly at 3PM on the Animal Planet.  If you’ve never seen the Puppy Bowl, you really need to watch it today.  It is totally awesome and keeps me busy cheering for hours.  Daddy has his game later today (which I’ll tell you about in a minute) and I have my game with the Puppy Bowl.

And don’t think that the Puppy Bowl is just about a lot of puppies on the screen doing nothing.  There’s actually a referee, puppy touchdowns, penalties, timeouts and substitutions.  That’s right – it’s a Puppy Bowl to see!

The rules are easy.  Puppies go on the field and when a puppy drags one of the football shaped toys into the end zone, a puppy touchdown is declared.  If a puppy has an accident on the field by ‘going to the bathroom’, a penalty is called.  If the water bowls need to be refilled or puppies get into a fight, timeouts are called.  And, you know what they call it when the puppies get into squabbles?  Unnecessary rrruuufffness.  Snorts.  And if the puppies fall asleep, substitutions are sent in to play.

Over the years, they’ve had different ‘cheerleaders’.  In the past, I’ve seen hedgehogs, bunny cheerleaders, chicken cheerleaders and my favorite in 2012 was the Piggy Pep Squad.  Personally, I think they need to bring the Piggy Pep Squad back.  I would *so* want to try out  for the team.  I think I have what it takes.  I have the look.  I have the chemistry.  I have the personality.  I can dance.

But if the Puppy Bowl doesn’t it do it for you, you can always wait for dad’s game later today at 6:30PM.  THE Super Bowl.  Two really good teams will be going head to head – New England Patriots vs Philadelphia Eagles.

And don’t forget the half time show on the Super Bowl either.  This year they are going to have Justin Timberlake performing.

And the other thing about the Super Bowl, you *have* to watch the commercials.  They are usually the most hilarious commercials to remember for the night.  So my friends, get your snacks and drinks ready.  Go to the potty early so you can enjoy all of the fun today.  Get comfy on the couch.  I’m going to be watching the shows all day long.  And hopefully, mom will pop me some popcorn.

Are you ready for some football!?

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – These chickens are forever pestering the heck out of me when I’m in the yard.  I don’t care where I go, they follow me around like pesky dogs pecking at everything.  I can’t even use the giant scratch box outside anywhere in private without them being there to disturb me.  Well I think I finally got one up on them.  They can’t get through the front door.  The can look like like peeping chickens but not get in.  So I did something just to tick them off.  I stretched out on the floor and was blowing butt biscuits their way.  Eventually the smell hit them.  Rolls and purrs with kitty laughter.  Maybe they will leave me alone now.  You think?  Signed Butt Biscuits

Dear Butt Biscuits – OMP!  I usually call them food ghosts but I think I like butt biscuits from now on.  Those chickens need to understand there is  a line to be drawn of leaving fellow anipals alone.  We have some chicks next door to us.  They fly everywhere – even in my magical backyard.  They drive me nuts too.  Just wait until the next time I’m out there.  I’m going to throw them a butt biscuit – snorts and rolls with piggy laughter!

---

Dear Bacon – Sometimes one just knows when their humans are not having a great day.  It could be from the sighs they make when they come through the doorway, the dismantled look they have with their clothes or it could be the fact that they kick their shoes off – or already have them off – by the time they come through the threshold.  Whatever the reason it is, sometimes us anipals need to make sure we step up and have the home front ready for them.  Take for instance this case, my human daddy had a very rough day.  I put on my finest attire and had a glass of wine waiting for him.  I think it brightened his day.  So much so that he didn’t notice my new jewels on my neck.  We’ll save that part of telling him when he gets the credit card bill.  Barks! Signed Tiffany

Dear Tiffany – I like the way you think.  I need to do this for mom the next time she comes home all disheveled from doing monthly statistics.  Sometimes when she does this, she can’t even remember her name.   Your awesome!  And when your dad gets the credit card bill, blame it on the poodle next door.

---

Dear Bacon – It’s embarrassing.  Really it is.  No it’s not the scarf or the clothes.  It’s not even the hair.  It’s embarrassing that my human can’t pick a better place to take my picture than leaning against this tree.  I mean dude, look there is a rink behind me.  I could be ice skating and showing off my skills for a picture of a lifetime.  But no… the human thinks this trees adds to my dimension.  What an idiot.  Signed Much More

Dear Much More – I believe it!  I really do.  I know you are much more than just a gorgeous face.  Maybe hire someone on the side to help you out with your photo shoots.  Just think of the money you could make showing off those awesome skills!  Get to work.  I can’t wait to see them.

---

Dear Bacon – My humans love me so much that they had me a special blanket made just for me.  And everyone should know that this blanket is mine and only mine.  What do you think about it?  You want one too, don’t you?  Signed Sexy and I Know It

Dear Sexy and I Know It – YES! YES! YES!  I want one too.  I think it is absolutely gorgeous.  It just shows how special you are and nobody can say it’s not your blanket.  Use it with pride sweet friend!

 

Are You Ready for Some Bowl Games??

 First off, let’s talk about the most important bowl game today – Puppy Bowl. The show starts promptly at 3PM on the Animal Planet.  If you’ve never seen the Puppy Bowl, you really need to watch it today.  It is totally awesome and keeps me busy cheering for hours.  Daddy has his game later today (which I’ll tell you about in a minute) and I have my game with the Puppy Bowl.

And don’t think that the Puppy Bowl is just about a lot of puppies on the screen doing nothing.  There’s actually a referee, puppy touchdowns, penalties, timeouts and substitutions.  That’s right – it’s a Puppy Bowl to see!

The rules are easy.  Puppies go on the field and when a puppy drags one of the football shaped toys into the end zone, a puppy touchdown is declared.  If a puppy has an accident on the field by ‘going to the bathroom’, a penalty is called.  If the water bowls need to be refilled or puppies get into a fight, timeouts are called.  And, you know what they call it when the puppies get into squabbles?  Unnecessary rrruuufffness.  Snorts.  And if the puppies fall asleep, substitutions are sent in to play.

Over the years, they’ve had different ‘cheerleaders’.  In the past, I’ve seen hedgehogs, bunny cheerleaders, chicken cheerleaders and my favorite in 2012 was the Piggy Pep Squad.  Personally, I think they need to bring the Piggy Pep Squad back.  I would *so* want to try out  for the team.  I think I have what it takes.  I have the look.  I have the chemistry.  I have the personality.  I can dance.

And you can’t miss the Kitty half time show!  It’s going to be a blast for sure!

But if the Puppy Bowl doesn’t it do it for you, you can always wait for dad’s game later today at 6:30PM.  THE Super Bowl.  Two really good teams will be going head to head – New England Patriots vs Atlanta Falcons.

This year, we have extra shout outs for the Atlanta Falcons since they are our home team.  Rise Up!!  Who will you be cheering for?  Are you pulling for Tom Brady or Matt Ryan?

And don’t forget the half time show on the Super Bowl either.  This year they are going to have Lady Gaga performing.

And the other thing about the Super Bowl, you *have* to watch the commercials.  They are usually the most hilarious commercials to remember for the night.  So my friends, get your snacks and drinks ready.  Go to the potty early so you can enjoy all of the fun today.  Get comfy on the couch.  I’m going to be watching the shows all day long.  And hopefully, mom will pop me some popcorn.

Are you ready for some football!?

 

Busted and Miscellaneous Adventures

Hello sweet friends – I hope you had a wonderful LONG weekend with Labor Day.  Labor Day the unofficial last day of Summer.  I only wish it was true in the weather department as well.  Because why?  Because it’s still hotter than you know what here in the South.  Don’t get me wrong.  This past weekend was absolutely beautiful – cooler weather, lower humidity and slight winds.  It was *almost* like a wonderful fall day.  In fact, mom even slipped some Pumpkin Spice coffee in there in places.  That just screams fall, right?

Then there was yesterday with daddy.  When we have leftover bread – you know when the bread becomes a rock and you can almost kill someone with it – (snorts with piggy laughter) dad will throw it out in the front yard for birds and other night creature anipals to eat.  You know they have to eat too.  Well yesterday he and mom were fixing to go off so he throws the bread out.  That’s when mom says things got out of control.  It was like the movie Jurassic Park where all of those little pesky velociraptors came running across the fields at people.

That’s right – Chicken Run was back in the hood.  They came running from next door (of course) and tackled the leftover bread like there was no tomorrow.  At one point, mom said she counted EIGHT of them.  Shakes piggy head.  I lost count at two… that is two for a chicken snack on the run – HA!  Nah, I couldn’t hurt the chicks.  I’ve kind of gotten attached to them.  And of course the neighbor stills insists, “I don’t have chickens”.  Okay then.  I guess they just ‘hang out’ in your backyard every day/night.  I guess this brings new meaning to free range chickens.  Snorts with piggy laughter – I kill myself!

Now I want to share a story with you.  A story from the heart.  I know I talk about my humans going off unattended all of the time and them getting into trouble.  But sometimes their adventures don’t end up in trouble.  You see over the long weekend, daddy had a craving for these things called Krystals.  The are little petite hamburgers that are square and wonderful.  Kind of similar (I’m told) to White Castles but mom says they’re better.  I wouldn’t know because I’ve not tried the comparison.

So mom takes daddy to the restaurant and they decide to eat there which they normally don’t.  But mom just had a ‘feeling’ they needed to eat there and she had a coupon for a gazillion Krystals.  Okay maybe not a gazillion but quite a few.  She told dad that it was an excellent buy and she was going to get that many because he could eat them during the week.  Now we all know that women get these feelings called women’s intuition.  You should always go with that feeling – and your first instincts.  So mom/dad are eating their meal and they are done.  They have leftovers, of course.  That’s when a man came into the restaurant that got mom’s attention.

You could tell this man had been through some tough times by his attire.  He went to the counter and they turned him away.  That’s when the light bulbs went off in mom’s head and she starting shaking her head.  She knew now why she needed to eat at the restaurant and order so much food.  The man looked defeated from being turned away at the counter.  Mom got up, walked up front and got another french fry order and large drink.  During this time, the staff at the restaurant had told the man that he had to leave.  Mom said, “No, he’s a paying patron and he’s eating.”  She then invited the man over to dine with her and dad.

You learn so much about people just with a single act of kindness.  This meal made this man’s day.  Mom/dad sat with him and talked with him and laughed with him.  At the end of the meal, he asked how much he owed.  Mom said, “Nothing.  It’s paid in full just by you joining us and making our day with your company.”

 

 

Cats Rule – Pigs Drool!

 Hello blogville – Hemi here.  Can you say busted little piggy?  I told you I could get better pictures of the roaming chickens.  I set up the situation Saturday afternoon.  I then sat a few feet away from the door… just waiting.  Cause you know, us lions are good at waiting.  I must have sat there for hours… okay maybe it was 30 minutes.  Who could sit longer with that pig and dog running around here at the Hotel Thompson.

Then it happened.  I heard them first but I waited patiently.  I saw a couple of these 2 piece snacks walk in front of my door.  That’s when I silently stalked up to the door and peering over the threshold.  If you wait, more will come and that’s what I did.  At one time, I counted five babies… then the mom showed up.   Look closely at the picture to the right above where I am standing – you can see her head.

And we are right.  As soon as the pig and dog spotted them and started making enough noise to wake the dead – rolls kitty eyes – they ran back to the neighbors house and went into their backyard.  They so live there!  Can you say busted?

 

 

I Have Proof!

 Can you say busted?!  I knew there were chickens living near me.  I’ve heard them.  I’ve seen them.  But of course when anyone of importance comes by for a visit, they can’t be found or heard.  Well there they are.  The proof is in the picture… or my front yard.  Mom was going to the car the other day and saw them.  She took this picture.  And although it is fuzzy (she’s not as good as me taking pictures), you can see them!  There is a mom and babies.  See the little balls in the middle – babies!

These are what I’ve been hearing right near my bedroom window.  They belong to the neighbor next door.  When mom tried to get closer, they ran in their backyard.  So there you go – PROOF of the ‘farm’ next door.

Now, I’m off to make lunch plans.  For some reason, I’m craving a two piece snack with not so many feathers – snorts with piggy laughter.

Oh and P.S.  I’ve now turned this investigation over to Hemi here at the Hotel Thompson.  He told me he could get ‘clearer’ pictures.  Shaking my head.  He always has to try to ‘up me’ on one.  Let’s see if he can this time.

 

 

Dear Bacon

 

Dear Bacon – Me and my friend Hazel were just out running around the hood minding our own business.  We crossed the street.  There I said it!  We crossed the street!  Humans went all weird on us and started snapping pictures.  I don’t get it.  What’s the big deal?  Signed Two Chicks

Dear Two Chicks – I don’t get it either my friend.  Shakes piggy head.  I look forward to that day where the motives are not questioned of two chicks out for a good time crossing the road and humans not going all wild laughing and pointing.  I do feel for you.  Just chill and carry on is what I say my friends…. oh and stay out of traffic might be more advice 🙂

---

Dear Bacon,  I don’t get it.  I honestly don’t get it.  You see I work in a conservatory park.  Humans come by on boat rides to see us gators out in the wild.  There was this one guy that was leaning a little too far over the boat and his sunglasses fell off his head.  I was just trying to do the right thing.  I got them and was swimming closer to the boat for him to get them.  Do you know he wouldn’t reach out and get them?  What a thank you huh?  Signed The Manners of a Gator

Dear The Manners of a Gator – How ungrateful. You mean to tell me the human would not reach over the boat, into the river, onto your head and get his glasses?  What was he thinking?  Oh doh!  Maybe – and this is just a stretch here – maybe he thought you might be like one of those other gators.  You know the ones who like to bite the hand that touches them.  I’m just guessing that.  Maybe you can leave the sunglasses on the bank of the river for him to retrieve after the trip.  I’m sure he will appreciate that. Awesome job my friend!

---

Dear Bacon – HA!  You see I’m there in the front – the white pooch.  We were all standing around at my buddies house telling jokes.  Who would have thought the guys would take one of my jokes so personal.  You know how us guys can be with the boys.  Someone happened to say that I wasn’t the great lover like they were.  When I told them that their mother didn’t think the same thing, they all got personal and started chasing me.  Who would have thought huh?  Signed Who Let the Dogs Out

Dear  Who Let the Dogs Out – Shakes piggy head.  Boys will be boys talking smack and getting into trouble.  You know what I say my friend?  If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.  Some people just have no room for jokes and having fun.  Keep running out first though – 🙂

---

Dear Bacon – You should have been here pal!  We all planned our weekly play date at the beach with our humans.  While they talked and drunk their Starbucks coffee, we sat on the sand.  We held hands, sung kumbaya and talked about our humans.  It was great fun.  We would have loved if you could have joined us!  Signed The Great Foursome

Dear The Great Foursome – oh WOW!  That looks like so much fun my friends.  The next time I’m out your way, count me in!

 

---

REMEMBER FRIENDS – Dear Bacon issues can’t happen without YOUR pictures and letters.  Remember to email them to me for my weekly Tuesday Dear Bacon issues.  Snorts and thanks!

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon –  When they humans are away, the Kung Fu Fighting comes out to play.  This kitty was “Kung Fu Fighting” – go ahead you can sing and dance with me.  I won’t tell anyone.  “Those kicks were fast as lighting.  In fact, it was a little bit frightening – But they fought with expert timing.”  Signed Funky Chinatown

Dear Funky Chinatown – Awesome!  What a way to start a Dear Bacon issue.  Love that song.  It’s one of mine and dad’s favorites.  Heck, you should see dad put on his headband and go to town – he’s got the moves like Jagger!  But don’t worry, you’re moves are tops!

---

Dear Bacon –  I may look like a super dog but really I’m not.  I’m waiting at the driveway for my super hero to get home from school.  When he gets off the bus, I give him the cape.  In my eyes, he will *always* be my super hero regardless of how old.  Do you have a super hero Bacon?  Signed Side Kick

Dear Side Kick – Let me tell you something my friend, you are not only the bestest Side Kick ever – you are my hero. ❤

---

Dear Bacon –  Make it stop.  Why.  Why do we have to be punished like this and given these drownings?  Why can’t I just stay dirty?  Signed Soaking Wet

Dear Soaking Wet –  Aaaww – little guy.  I’m sorry you feel this way.  Let me explain something to you.  Your humans love you.  They really do and it doesn’t seem like it but me trust on this okay.  If they didn’t love you, they would’t bathe you and take care of you.  You know – you wouldn’t have your forever home.  And here at the Hotel Thompson, if your clean guess what.  You get to snuggle in the big bed.  Is that the rule there too?  If so, go ahead and get it over with so you can get some bonding time.  Baths don’t take forever.  Close those puppy dog eyes and roll in some water my friend!

---

Dear Bacon – My human.  All mine.  I don’t share.  This is my human’s hand.  I will hold it and hug it and call it mine.  All mine.  Signed George

Dear George –  I say go for it my furry friend.  I would gladly give you my hoof as well – you look way too cuddly!  That’s one lucky human for sure!

---

Dear Bacon –  The shock!  It was amazing!  We couldn’t believe it!  It was like a train wreck and we couldn’t move away from the window.  What we saw Old Man McDonald doing to Mrs. McDonald – WOW!  He is one lucky man.  Oh, you’re asking what?  Come closer and we will whisper it to you.  He was doing the dishes for her!  I know!  Shocking huh?  A man in the kitchen doing the dishes.  We all almost passed out too!  Signed the Farm Hands

Dear Farm Hands –  What the pig!?  I’m so showing this to daddy.  WOW!  Yes you are right.  That Mrs. McDonald is one lucky lady for sure!!  Let me know if you see anything else.

---

Remember my friends, Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Keep your letters and pictures coming – sent them to me on my email 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

REMEMBER FRIENDS – We can’t have Dear Bacon issues without YOU.  Keep your pictures and questions coming to me via email 🙂

---

 

Are You Ready for Some Bowl Games??

 First off, let’s talk about the most important bowl game today – Puppy Bowl X. The show starts promptly at 3PM on the Animal Planet.  If you’ve never seen the Puppy Bowl, you really need to watch it today.  It is totally awesome and keeps me busy cheering for hours.  Daddy has his game later today (which I’ll tell you about in a minute) and I have my game with the Puppy Bowl.

And don’t think that the Puppy Bowl is just about a lot of puppies on the screen doing nothing.  There’s actually a referee, puppy touchdowns, penalties, timeouts and substitutions.  That’s right – it’s a Puppy Bowl to see!

.

The rules are easy.  Puppies go on the field and when a puppy drags one of the football shaped toys into the end zone, a puppy touchdown is declared.  If a puppy has an accident on the field by ‘going to the bathroom’, a penalty is called.  If the water bowls need to be refilled or puppies get into a fight, timeouts are called.  And, you know what they call it when the puppies get into squabbles?  Unnecessary rrruuufffness.  Snorts.  And if the puppies fall asleep, substitutions are sent in to play.

Over the years, they’ve had different ‘cheerleaders’.  These little cute hedgehogs holding pom-poms were a huge hit last year.  I’m kind of hoping they make a comeback this year.  Aren’t they just adorably cute?!  In the past, they’ve also had bunny cheerleaders, chicken cheerleaders and my favorite in 2012 was the Piggy Pep Squad.  Personally, I think they need to bring the Piggy Pep Squad back.  I would *so* want to try out  for the team.  I think I have what it takes.  I have the look.  I have the chemistry.  I have the personality.  I can dance.

And you can’t miss the Kitty half time show!  It’s going to be a blast for sure!

But if the Puppy Bowl doesn’t it do it for you, you can always wait for dad’s game later today – THE Super Bowl.  Two really good teams will be going head to head – New England Patriots vs Seattle Seahawks.

And don’t forget the half time show on the Super Bowl either.  This year they are going to have Katy Perry performing.

And the other thing about the Super Bowl, you *have* to watch the commercials.  They are usually the most hilarious commercials to remember for the night.  So my friends, get your snacks and drinks ready.  Go to the potty early so you can enjoy all of the fun today.  Get comfy on the couch.  I’m going to be watching the shows all day long.  And hopefully, mom will pop me some popcorn.

Are you ready for some football!?