Rocky’s Nut Brunch

Hello dear friends.  I have a great one for you today.  If you are like Bacon’s mom, she is always forgetting what side of her car has the gas tank.  I’m going to show you today how you can tell without getting out of your car.  It’s really easy.  Look at your gas gauge.  Do you see the little gas pump image?  Whatever side the arrow is pointing at, that is the side of your gas tank.  For example, in this picture the gas tank has the arrow to the left.  The gas tank is on the left side.  If the arrow was pointing to the right, the gas tank would be on the right side.  Did you know that?  Now you do!

 

Boo! Rear-Ended

 

31 Days of Spook – Rear Ended – Oops

 

Pee-Pee Dance Anyone?

My mom and dad – shakes piggy head.  Sometimes they act five – yep I said that out loud.  It’s the truth.  I can’t believe I let them leave the Hotel Thompson together to venture out and get in trouble.  I will never learn.  But I have to admit, the trouble this time happened once they got back to the Hotel Thompson.

You see, they out for dinner last night.  Nothing wrong with that.  They went to one of their favorite spots and were greeted from the owners with, “Hey, that’s Bacon’s parents”.  Snorts – I ❤ how they have no identity anymore.  They talked to the owners, ate dinner and left.  Upon leaving, they go through the same routine with each other.  I’m sure you know the one.  It goes something like this with dad asking, “Hey, you need to go potty?  It’s a long ride home.”  Followed by mom saying, “No, I’m good.”  Famous last words huh?

So they get into the Jeep for the ride home.  About mid way home, mom can be seen behind the wheel starting the dance.  Oh you know what I’m talking about.  The pee-pee dance.  The one where it hits you from out of the blue with such a wham and you start shifting and moving around – thus called the pee-pee dance – logical thinking is that the ‘dance’ will stop the rush.  Yeah right – it never does.  This is when mom challenges the hamsters in the motor to go faster and tries to get through all of the green lights while you pray to the Gods above that you can ‘hold it’.  All the time, daddy is sitting in the passenger seat doing the, “I asked you if you needed to go” repeat statement.  Yeah thanks dad, that makes every thing seem so much better.

Then daddy goes to the next step to irritate make mom feel better in her circumstance.  He starts telling mom some of the following statements, “That wine sure tasted good huh?” or “Don’t think of running water.” or “Are you ready to go to the ocean?”  See, daddy’s silly or should I say dumb like that.  All the time he is saying these things, mom keeps cutting him the eye.

So they finally pull up at the Hotel Thompson. Mommy is now to the point of struggling.  Raise your hands my friends if you have seen your humans at this point.  Rocking back and forth on their legs, twining their legs together doing the two step, wobbling at the door and trying to put the key into the key hole that at this point looks as big as an eye on a needle – all trying to “hold” it.  Snorts – I told you before that humans are weird.

By this time, I’m on the other side of the door and I can hear mom trying to come in.  So I do what I do best.  I get excited and start squealing.  What?  It’s what I do – snorts.  Mom finally gets the door open but yet she can’t step into the Hotel Thompson.  Why?  Because she really, REALLY has to go now.  If she moves, well you know what will happen.  And of course by this time, Houdini is on play mode intertwining around both of mom’s legs.  Way to go bro!

So she stands there.  I stand there looking at her like, “Hey wazzup mom?”  Then I jumped on her.  Not good.  Not good at all in her situation – snorts.  Then she walks in the Hotel Thompson like she’s a mummy not a mommy.  It looks as if there are invisible bands keeping her knees together and she seems to be walking on her tippy toes.  Now my friends – that is a visual.  She does this magnificent two step down the hall to the powder room.  I go to the door to listen.

So you see my friends, mom and dad don’t have to really leave the Hotel Thompson to get into trouble.  They do just fine here at home – snorts.  And who wants to admit that the next time they see their parents in distress over ‘holding’ it and going to the bathroom, that you will think of my poor pitiful mummy – I mean mommy 🙂

 

A Message From My Mom

Women – I have something to discuss with you today.  I just know this is going to touch your hearts as much as it touches mine.  Are you ready for the topic?  Car problems.  There you go – I heard your sighs all the way here at the Hotel Thompson.  Why do car problems bother us so much?

As a younger woman, I tinkered with cars.  Can you believe that?  But coming from a large family where I have seven older brothers, my dad made sure I knew my way around a car.  I have a fond memory of when me and Jim first started dating.  I had a Dodge Omni at the time that was unreliable as a Dollar Store pregnancy test.  One time, I was going home from his house.  His mom/dad followed us because they knew my car was unreliable.  About half way home, sure enough my car stopped running.  I pulled over to the side of the road and got the flash light out of the glove box.  I handed it to Jim where he proceeded to look at me like a deer in the headlights.  He said, “What do you want me to do?”  Without missing a beat, I opened my door and said, “Hold the flashlight for me.”  So there we were outside of the car, hood up, Jim holding the flashlight and me tinkering underneath it with the carburetor.  That’s how Jim’s mom/dad found us when they rolled up beside us… of course they were laughing hysterically and yes I got it running again.

So, I’m not a stranger to the makings of a car; however, with all of the newer electronics in cars these days, I’m not as good as I once was.  That’s when last week on Thursday my check engine light came on and I squealed like Bacon.  Really?  It’s already a tough time of the year.  I’m closing the year 2015 at work and I can’t begin to tell you that my mind is mush from all of the number crunching.  I had so many errands to run last weekend – grocery shopping, pharmacy, plasma donations, Houdini needed a bath, Bacon needed piggy chow and the purr things were about to abandon the Hotel Thompson if they didn’t get some treats and fresh litter.  So my hands were full as well as my calendar and wallet.

Being resourceful though and Jim still to this day not having a mechanically inclined touch in his entire body, I did what any solid mind girl would do.  I sat down and had me a cry.  You know one of those gut sucking the world is coming to an end cries.  Of course this was outside of the Hotel Thompson.  Had it been and the anipals heard me, I would have been licked to death 🙂

And do you know what else doesn’t work when your Check Engine light is on?  Take a guess – your remote start.  Now, remote start is one of those things that I didn’t think I would use all that often if ever and I never thought I would miss it.  Let me tell you something.  I missed it totally!  I use it to turn on the Jeep in the mornings to get the frost off the windows.  I use it running to the car in the evenings to turn on the heat before I get in.  Gosh, I was missing this!

After my cry, I hit the internet and researched the problem with the Jeep.  That’s when I learned two things.  The Jeep has a lot of extras that I didn’t know about (which is good) and I found the problem (which is better.)  You see, if the check engine light comes on and flashes – then you have an engine problem – good to know huh?  But if the check engine light comes on solid, then more than likely it’s a gas problem.  It could be either you got cheap gas, the gas cap is dirty or the gas cap is not tight.  Looking back at where I got gas the last time, I think it was dirty.  So with a paper towel in hand, I took the gas cap off, cleaned it and then put it back on tight.  Now it says in the manual that you may have to crank, drive around and park it 4-5 times before the light goes off – if you fixed the problem.

For the entire weekend, it never went off.  Really karma?  Can’t you throw me a curve?  So there I was running errands and with every re-crank begging to the Gods to fix it but it didn’t.  I had enough Sunday night so I went to bed early.  I was tired, cranky and frustrated.  I get up to go to work Monday, walk to the car, crank it and oh my glory heavens – the light was gone.  I swear I heard angels singing.  Really I did.

So my question women – why do car problems frustrate us??

 

31 Days of Spook – Rear Ended – Oops

 

Houdini is Behind the Wheel – OH NO!

So Houdini gets to drive the new Jeep and I can’t?  How wrong is that picture might I ask?  Look mom, his paws don’t touch the gas pedals either.  I want my turn!  See, I found these pictures.  Nope, I wasn’t snooping on mom’s iPhone either.  See mom forgot about this called the Cloud.  It holds everything – snorts with piggy laughter.  Her pictures get saved to the Cloud therefore I don’t *need* her iPhone anymore – ha!  Just don’t tell her okay my friends.

So I see this picture of the little guy driving the Jeep.  I’m like so that’s what he gets to do when he goes out with mom.  Boogers – I want to drive too!  Then I’m like why are they stopped?  And is Houdini’s paw on the horn – why?  Then I saw the next picture and went that’s why!  There was a geese crossing in downtown Jonesboro.  I guess that would stop traffic… as if a dog driving wouldn’t stop it before that – snorts with piggy laughter!

And I wonder where these geese were going?  To get to the other side of the railroad tracks?

 

 

Mommy Smartypants

My mom.  She can be really sneaky when she wants to be.  We all know that.  But no one here was more surprised than daddy when she told him something that she wanted to do.  Something that was new and adventurous.  Between me and you, personally I was done with being adventurous since being at Summer Camp last week – snorts.

Well when sneaky mommy smartypants gets a bird up your hiney (what dad likes to call it), she doesn’t play.  You know how much that woman loves Albert her Smart car.  She would zip and zap all over town in it.  The only down side to Albert was that he didn’t have much support in the suspension department.  I know this first hoof.  When mom would roll over the smallest bump, you would feel it.  The small bump could be the size of a penny, you would know about it.  And let’s not even talk about railroad tracks or bumps in the road.  One time, I thought mom was going to literally fall into the hole – shivers – that was so scary!

And of course,  the Smart car only held two humans and a pig… maybe a dog too at times.  That’s why we also had Tank the Equinox.  Mom used Tank when we had family outings with Nana or vacation.  But being that mom was the only that drives here, the economical sense of having and maintaining two cars just didn’t make sense… so she told me when she picked me up from camp.

So this is where she got the bird up her hiney.  She wanted to trade both cars into the dealership and get an awesome car that she (1) she always wanted; (2) would hold all of us anipals and Nana and (3) would financial be more beneficial to the family.  So what does she do?  She buys a new car.

 She went to the dealership, told them what she wanted and after much paperwork and running around for titles and standing her own for what she wanted, she got what she wanted.  Now do you know where I get my pig-headiness from – snorts?  And of course, mom gets things while still smiling like the Southern gal she is.  She was able to cash in 7 years of extended warranty that she didn’t use on Albert.  She also stood firm for what she wanted for Albert.  AND she was able to stand firm on what she wanted for Tank.  And of course cutting back to only one car in the family, she was able to cut her insurance in half.  AND, she was able to pocket some money for the offer on the vehicles.  That’s the best part cause she can buy me some more Animal Crackers that Scout ate at Summer Camp 🙂

So let me introduce you to our new ride – a Jeep Patriot Latitude.  Mom has named him Casper.

I know – I know Casper is white.  But she says that the blue in the car reminds her of Casper’s beautiful blue eyes.  Shakes piggy head.  My mom is so crazy!

.

 

 

 

 

31 Days of Spook – Rear Ended – Oops

 

31 Days of Spook – 666

Oh dear piggy heavens!?  Should we be afraid?  Should we call an exorcist? Mommy got into Albert, her Smart car, this morning and she was greeted with this on her trip odometer. Is it a sign of what’s to come for the day?

Oh my friends – say a little prayer for my mom and send her good vibes.  666 is not a great way to start the day.

Happy Spooky Day my friends!