Dear Bacon – This is called *the* look. You know the one that your parents do between themselves when they get all gooey eyed with each other. I wanted to send it to you so you can practice. Cause you know love day is coming and you need to market this look to get a date for Valentine’s. I know you have it in you. Who could ever resist that little pot belly of yours. Practice – practice and more practice my friend. You’re welcomed. Signed Stud
Dear Stud – OMP. Thanks my friend!! I am so going to start practicing this look and marketing it. I need all of the help I can get with the ladies. And thank you for calling my pot belly little. I appreciate that so very much buddy! I just knew that this pot belly would come in handy one day. Look at dad. He has one and he got lucky with mom! Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter.
Dear Bacon – I double pig bet you that you can’t do this. In fact, I just *know* you can’t. See sometimes I try to mess with my humans and stand on my back paws. Meows. It keeps them guessing what I will do next. I just want to see them doing this too. Signed Twinkle Toes
Dear Twinkle Toes – That is a given talent my sweet dear friend. There is no way this little piglet could do that for sure. Heck with this pot belly, I can barely see my back feet.
Dear Bacon – Wassup!?! Never fear if you see me hanging under your fence. Just wanted to see wassup and whatcha parents cooking on that grill. It smells good from here. Can I have a bite or dozen? Signed Voyeur
Dear Voyeur – Hilarious bro! I love the way you think of hanging out to see what’s going on in the hood. Pop over anytime…. or should I say pop under? Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter. And hey, mom/dad were grilling hamburgers on the grill. If one falls, it’s free game to us anipals. Come on over. I’ll share.
Dear Bacon – Come on dude. Let’s “fly” some air outside and do some jumps. It’s a happening thing and you will love the air in your hair… or wings. I’ve heard some oinkers have wings. Call me and we will have a skate date. Signed Hawk Fly
Dear Hawk Fly – Dude, I think it would be fly to soar through the air weighless. I just don’t think (A) there’s a skateboard big enough for my pot belly and (B) my pot belly could ever take flight unless someone shoved me off of a cliff or the top of the house. On second thought, forget I said that. Dad might read it and get ideas. Have fun Hawk Fly!
Dear Bacon – The New York City subway is a strict bus service. Dogs can’t walk on buses. They have to be carried, in strollers, etc. My human created me a good one – a skateboard. Hey, I put on a hat and headset and nobody even knows I’m a pooch. Really! And hey, we are not breaking any rules whatsoever. So go us, right? Signed Disguised Celebrity
Dear Disguised Celebrity – My friend, do I have someone you need to get in touch with! See Hawk Fly above. Ya’ll could fly around the bus services like you wouldn’t believe together. Just think of the possibilities of fun! Just remember – safety first!
Tags: adventure, advice, advice column, animal, appreciation, bacon, bus, cat, column, comedy, cute, daddy, Dear Abby, Dear Bacon, dog, entertainment, fly, freedom, Friends, fun, funny, games, growing up, happy, Hotel Thompson, humor, kid, Love, miniature pot bellied pig, New York, pet, pets, pig, play, playful, priceless, smart, snorts, spoiled, Tony Hawk, trouble, twinkletoes, Valentines Day, wassup
Dear Bacon – When they humans are away, the Kung Fu Fighting comes out to play. This kitty was “Kung Fu Fighting” – go ahead you can sing and dance with me. I won’t tell anyone. “Those kicks were fast as lighting. In fact, it was a little bit frightening – But they fought with expert timing.” Signed Funky Chinatown
Dear Funky Chinatown – Awesome! What a way to start a Dear Bacon issue. Love that song. It’s one of mine and dad’s favorites. Heck, you should see dad put on his headband and go to town – he’s got the moves like Jagger! But don’t worry, you’re moves are tops!
Dear Bacon – I may look like a super dog but really I’m not. I’m waiting at the driveway for my super hero to get home from school. When he gets off the bus, I give him the cape. In my eyes, he will *always* be my super hero regardless of how old. Do you have a super hero Bacon? Signed Side Kick
Dear Side Kick – Let me tell you something my friend, you are not only the bestest Side Kick ever – you are my hero. ❤
Dear Bacon – Make it stop. Why. Why do we have to be punished like this and given these drownings? Why can’t I just stay dirty? Signed Soaking Wet
Dear Soaking Wet – Aaaww – little guy. I’m sorry you feel this way. Let me explain something to you. Your humans love you. They really do and it doesn’t seem like it but me trust on this okay. If they didn’t love you, they would’t bathe you and take care of you. You know – you wouldn’t have your forever home. And here at the Hotel Thompson, if your clean guess what. You get to snuggle in the big bed. Is that the rule there too? If so, go ahead and get it over with so you can get some bonding time. Baths don’t take forever. Close those puppy dog eyes and roll in some water my friend!
Dear Bacon – My human. All mine. I don’t share. This is my human’s hand. I will hold it and hug it and call it mine. All mine. Signed George
Dear George – I say go for it my furry friend. I would gladly give you my hoof as well – you look way too cuddly! That’s one lucky human for sure!
Dear Bacon – The shock! It was amazing! We couldn’t believe it! It was like a train wreck and we couldn’t move away from the window. What we saw Old Man McDonald doing to Mrs. McDonald – WOW! He is one lucky man. Oh, you’re asking what? Come closer and we will whisper it to you. He was doing the dishes for her! I know! Shocking huh? A man in the kitchen doing the dishes. We all almost passed out too! Signed the Farm Hands
Dear Farm Hands – What the pig!? I’m so showing this to daddy. WOW! Yes you are right. That Mrs. McDonald is one lucky lady for sure!! Let me know if you see anything else.
Remember my friends, Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU. Keep your letters and pictures coming – sent them to me on my email 🙂
REMEMBER FRIENDS – We can’t have Dear Bacon issues without YOU. Keep your pictures and questions coming to me via email 🙂
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