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Pee-Pee Dance Anyone?

My mom and dad – shakes piggy head.  Sometimes they act five – yep I said that out loud.  It’s the truth.  I can’t believe I let them leave the Hotel Thompson together to venture out and get in trouble.  I will never learn.  But I have to admit, the trouble this time happened once they got back to the Hotel Thompson.

You see, they out for dinner last night.  Nothing wrong with that.  They went to one of their favorite spots and were greeted from the owners with, “Hey, that’s Bacon’s parents”.  Snorts – I ❤ how they have no identity anymore.  They talked to the owners, ate dinner and left.  Upon leaving, they go through the same routine with each other.  I’m sure you know the one.  It goes something like this with dad asking, “Hey, you need to go potty?  It’s a long ride home.”  Followed by mom saying, “No, I’m good.”  Famous last words huh?

So they get into the Jeep for the ride home.  About mid way home, mom can be seen behind the wheel starting the dance.  Oh you know what I’m talking about.  The pee-pee dance.  The one where it hits you from out of the blue with such a wham and you start shifting and moving around – thus called the pee-pee dance – logical thinking is that the ‘dance’ will stop the rush.  Yeah right – it never does.  This is when mom challenges the hamsters in the motor to go faster and tries to get through all of the green lights while you pray to the Gods above that you can ‘hold it’.  All the time, daddy is sitting in the passenger seat doing the, “I asked you if you needed to go” repeat statement.  Yeah thanks dad, that makes every thing seem so much better.

Then daddy goes to the next step to irritate make mom feel better in her circumstance.  He starts telling mom some of the following statements, “That wine sure tasted good huh?” or “Don’t think of running water.” or “Are you ready to go to the ocean?”  See, daddy’s silly or should I say dumb like that.  All the time he is saying these things, mom keeps cutting him the eye.

So they finally pull up at the Hotel Thompson. Mommy is now to the point of struggling.  Raise your hands my friends if you have seen your humans at this point.  Rocking back and forth on their legs, twining their legs together doing the two step, wobbling at the door and trying to put the key into the key hole that at this point looks as big as an eye on a needle – all trying to “hold” it.  Snorts – I told you before that humans are weird.

By this time, I’m on the other side of the door and I can hear mom trying to come in.  So I do what I do best.  I get excited and start squealing.  What?  It’s what I do – snorts.  Mom finally gets the door open but yet she can’t step into the Hotel Thompson.  Why?  Because she really, REALLY has to go now.  If she moves, well you know what will happen.  And of course by this time, Houdini is on play mode intertwining around both of mom’s legs.  Way to go bro!

So she stands there.  I stand there looking at her like, “Hey wazzup mom?”  Then I jumped on her.  Not good.  Not good at all in her situation – snorts.  Then she walks in the Hotel Thompson like she’s a mummy not a mommy.  It looks as if there are invisible bands keeping her knees together and she seems to be walking on her tippy toes.  Now my friends – that is a visual.  She does this magnificent two step down the hall to the powder room.  I go to the door to listen.

So you see my friends, mom and dad don’t have to really leave the Hotel Thompson to get into trouble.  They do just fine here at home – snorts.  And who wants to admit that the next time they see their parents in distress over ‘holding’ it and going to the bathroom, that you will think of my poor pitiful mummy – I mean mommy 🙂

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19 Comments

Posted by on 09/02/2016 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon –  No.  That’s right No.  Our doorbell rung in the middle of the day.  We weren’t expecting anyone so mom looked out the peep hole.  She didn’t see anyone.  We all sat back down and again the doorbell rung once again.  Mom went to the door, looked out the peep hole and nothing.  So she opened the door… of course keeping the security chain on the door.  Then mom squealed – I’m sure she squealed louder than you.  This is what she saw.  What in the world?  He wanted to borrow a cup of chicken – as if.  Mom told him that she wasn’t the local Kroger and to take a hike.  Have you ever had guests like this wanting to borrow food?  Signed Uninvited Guests

Dear Uninvited Guests – Oh dear piggy heavens have mercy!  Now we all believe in neighborly hospitality here at the Hotel Thompson.  Journalist Rocky the Squirrel often knocks on our back door asking for a cup of nuts.  And once, the neighbor asked to borrow a cup of milk.  But *never* have we had such a guest wanting a cup of chicken.  Did your friend leave?  I mean who you goin’ to call in this circumstance?  Be safe my friend – and keep that door LOCKED.


 Dear Bacon – I scored BIG time for Christmas.  I asked Jolly St. Nick for a cool pair of bunny slippers.  And let me tell you something, he delivered!!  I am jumping all over my crib in bun-bun delight.  Aren’t they the cutest things you have ever seen my friend?  Signed Bunny Times Two

Dear Bunny Times Two – You are *almost* right my sweet dear friend.  Those slippers are *almost* as cute as you.  I think you are pretty darn cute to begin with and YOU make those slippers even cuter.  Wear them with pride and stay warm my little friend!

 


 Dear Bacon – I’m sorry.  I couldn’t wait and had to go.  And I hear my mom tell my dad all of the time, “Better out than in.”  I think this is what she was meaning.  I’m sorry.  But what better way says I’m sorry than to leave my poo in a heart shape, right?  Surely mom wouldn’t be upset over that on your new rug… you know of course add in my pleading don’t-be-made look.  What do you think?  Signed You Gotta Go – You Gotta Go

Dear You Gotta Go – Well dear, my mom says there is no way she would be mad if I made that mistake and left something in a heart shape.  Like you said, sometimes crap happens.  Keep being cute and give mom extra snuggles today – she will forgive you.


 Dear Bacon – You see, we got new neighbors over the weekend.  We heard that she’s a cute little poodle.  We were just trying to take a peak and see.  That’s when our master caught us.  Can you say busted?  Signed Caught in the Act

Dear Caught in the Act – One question my friends.  Did you see her?  Was it worth it?  Why have you not gone over with some biscuits and welcomed her to the hood.  I think that would be a grand gesture from the both of you.  You know, meet her first before anyone else does.  Let me know how it works.


 Dear Bacon –  No one and I mean no one will ever be this cool.  How cool?  Me a mere lizard standing on some good stuff in a posture that just screams, “I’m the lacertilia!”  Ha!  Now, I need to pour me another and get this party started!  Signed Fred

Dear Fred – Well I must say you do know how to party my friend.  And well I have to admit.  I did have to look up the word lacertilia to see what it meant – snorts with piggy laughter.  You are one of few words.  Loved it my friend.  Now remember something important.  Don’t drink and drive.  Stay home to party and keep it at home.  Have a great time and oh – don’t forget my invitation.  But I’ll take some koolaid on ice – no alcohol in mine okay.

.


REMEMBER my friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please remember to keep sending me your letters and pictures via my email.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on 12/29/2015 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Pee-Pee Dance Anyone?

My mom and dad – shakes piggy head.  Sometimes they act five – yep I said that out loud.  It’s the truth.  I can’t believe I let them leave the Hotel Thompson together to venture out and get in trouble.  I will never learn.  But I have to admit, the trouble this time happened once they got back to the Hotel Thompson.

You see, they out for dinner last night.  Nothing wrong with that.  They went to one of their favorite spots and were greeted from the owners with, “Hey, that’s Bacon’s parents”.  Snorts – I ❤ how they have no identity anymore.  They talked to the owners, ate dinner and left.  Upon leaving, they go through the same routine with each other.  I’m sure you know the one.  It goes something like this with dad asking, “Hey, you need to go potty?  It’s a long ride home.”  Followed by mom saying, “No, I’m good.”  Famous last words huh?

So they get into Albert, mom’s little Smart car, for the ride home.  About mid way home, mom can be seen behind the wheel starting the dance.  Oh you know what I’m talking about.  The pee-pee dance.  The one where it hits you from out of the blue with such a wham and you start shifting and moving around – thus called the pee-pee dance – logical thinking is that the ‘dance’ will stop the rush.  Yeah right – it never does.  This is when Albert pumps up the volume and makes the hamsters in the engine go faster and tries to get through all of the green lights while you pray to the Gods above that you can ‘hold it’.  All the time, daddy is sitting in the passenger seat doing the, “I asked you if you needed to go” repeat statement.  Yeah thanks dad, that makes every thing seem so much better.

Then daddy goes to the next step to irritate make mom feel better in her circumstance.  He starts telling mom some of the following statements, “That wine sure tasted good huh?” or “Don’t think of running water.” or “Are you ready to go to the ocean?”  See, daddy’s silly or should I say dumb like that.  All the time he is saying these things, mom keeps cutting him the eye.

So they finally pull up at the Hotel Thompson. Mommy is now to the point of struggling.  Raise your hands my friends if you have seen your humans at this point.  Rocking back and forth on their legs, twining their legs together doing the two step, wobbling at the door and trying to put the key into the key hole that at this point looks as big as an eye on a needle – all trying to “hold” it.  Snorts – I told you before that humans are weird.

By this time, I’m on the other side of the door and I can hear mom trying to come in.  So I do what I do best.  I get excited and start squealing.  What?  It’s what I do – snorts.  Mom finally gets the door open but yet she can’t step into the Hotel Thompson.  Why?  Because she really, REALLY has to go now.  If she moves, well you know what will happen.

So she stands there.  I stand there looking at her like, “Hey wazzup mom?”  Then I jumped on her.  Not good.  Not good at all in her situation – snorts.  Then she walks in the Hotel Thompson like she’s a mummy not a mommy.  It looks as if there are invisible bands keeping her knees together and she seems to be walking on her tippy toes.  Now my friends – that is a visual.  She does this magnificent two step down the hall to the powder room.  I go to the door to listen.

So you see my friends, mom and dad don’t have to really leave the Hotel Thompson to get into trouble.  They do just fine here at home – snorts.  And who wants to admit that the next time they see their parents in distress over ‘holding’ it and going to the bathroom, that you will think of my poor pitiful mummy – I mean mommy 🙂

 
29 Comments

Posted by on 09/01/2014 in Bacon

 

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Dad’s New Doorbell Possibility?

Do you think mom will approve this doorbell possibility that dad is thinking about purchasing for the Hotel Thompson?  Snorts – I didn’t think so either.   Daddy is going to be in BIG trouble for this if he even *thinks* about it – PLOL (Piggy laughing out loud).

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34 Comments

Posted by on 04/14/2014 in Bacon

 

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Bacon’s Tales of Terror

Glad you could make it to this month’s edition of Bacon’s Tales of Terrors.  I was hoping that you would show up again… not be too afraid to read this month’s posting.  I bet you’re wondering what this graphic of a bunch of play mice has to do with todays Tales of Terror.

Do you remember a couple of months ago, I spoke about the mysterious ‘squeak’ here in the Hotel Thompson?  No?  There’s an unknown squeak.  It sounds like a pet toy that squeaks.  It goes off every once in a while, usually in the same room that everyone is in.  You don’t think that’s scary?  What if I told you that we don’t have any ‘squeaky’ toys inside of the Hotel Thompson.  That’s right – none, nada, zilch.

You see, several years ago we had a beautiful laborador here at the Hotel Thompson.  Her name was Honie Bear and she loved squeaky toys.  Not to play with but to destroy – snorts.  So mom/dad took up all of the squeaky toys throughout the house because they were afraid that Honie Bear would swallow the ‘squeak’.  Honie Bear went over the rainbow about four years ago.  Thus, mom/dad know for sure that there are no squeaky toys in this house.

But still, when things are quiet and everyone is in the same room together – even the purr things – they hear a squeak.  Usually it’s just one squeak.  It may go weeks or sometimes months without hearing it again.  It’s not a mouse squeak – it sounds like a real squeak.  And it gets the purr things attention.  They try to look around the room for it and they never find it.  Strange.  And it is still happening.  Mom/dad says that when Spring gets here, they are doing some major Spring cleaning to see if it shows up.  But until then, it’s a sound that everyone here finds mysterious.

And something else happened a couple of weeks ago here at the Hotel Thompson that makes you go hhmm.

We keep our bathroom door closed here due to the purr things wanting to get in there and play with the water.  Yep, you read that right.  The play things like to get into the bathroom and play WITH the water.  Shakes piggy head – we are a weird bunch here, huh?

Mouse Girl will go to the bathroom door, scratch on it and ‘call’ for daddy to come let her into the bathroom.  Daddy was busy this date and kept telling her not right now.  A few minutes of this went on and then it stopped.  Daddy thought that was strange.  So, he listened intently for a few minutes.  He heard what sounded like someone getting on the toilet in the bathroom.  If you have purr things, sometimes you will hear this.  It’s like a stepping stone for them to get on the sink where they can then play with the water.

Daddy shook his head.  Nah, the door was shut but yet he heard that noise.  He went down the hall to check on the bathroom.  The door was standing open, the light was on and Mouse Girl was on the sink playing with the water.  Daddy *might* have said WTF and I’m not sure what that means but he was a little shocked.  I mean, okay we can say that maybe the door wasn’t closed all of the way.  And we can say that Mouse Girl knows how to turn the water on.  But, the light.  How did the light get turned on?

Makes you go hhmmm doesn’t it?  Well, I hope you enjoyed my Tales of Terror on this 13th day of the month.  And today or tonight when you are home, make sure you pay close attention to the lights in your bathroom for fear of them turning on themselves 🙂

 
38 Comments

Posted by on 03/13/2014 in Bacons Tales of Terror

 

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