Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon –  When they humans are away, the Kung Fu Fighting comes out to play.  This kitty was “Kung Fu Fighting” – go ahead you can sing and dance with me.  I won’t tell anyone.  “Those kicks were fast as lighting.  In fact, it was a little bit frightening – But they fought with expert timing.”  Signed Funky Chinatown

Dear Funky Chinatown – Awesome!  What a way to start a Dear Bacon issue.  Love that song.  It’s one of mine and dad’s favorites.  Heck, you should see dad put on his headband and go to town – he’s got the moves like Jagger!  But don’t worry, you’re moves are tops!

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Dear Bacon –  I may look like a super dog but really I’m not.  I’m waiting at the driveway for my super hero to get home from school.  When he gets off the bus, I give him the cape.  In my eyes, he will *always* be my super hero regardless of how old.  Do you have a super hero Bacon?  Signed Side Kick

Dear Side Kick – Let me tell you something my friend, you are not only the bestest Side Kick ever – you are my hero. ❤

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Dear Bacon –  Make it stop.  Why.  Why do we have to be punished like this and given these drownings?  Why can’t I just stay dirty?  Signed Soaking Wet

Dear Soaking Wet –  Aaaww – little guy.  I’m sorry you feel this way.  Let me explain something to you.  Your humans love you.  They really do and it doesn’t seem like it but me trust on this okay.  If they didn’t love you, they would’t bathe you and take care of you.  You know – you wouldn’t have your forever home.  And here at the Hotel Thompson, if your clean guess what.  You get to snuggle in the big bed.  Is that the rule there too?  If so, go ahead and get it over with so you can get some bonding time.  Baths don’t take forever.  Close those puppy dog eyes and roll in some water my friend!

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Dear Bacon – My human.  All mine.  I don’t share.  This is my human’s hand.  I will hold it and hug it and call it mine.  All mine.  Signed George

Dear George –  I say go for it my furry friend.  I would gladly give you my hoof as well – you look way too cuddly!  That’s one lucky human for sure!

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Dear Bacon –  The shock!  It was amazing!  We couldn’t believe it!  It was like a train wreck and we couldn’t move away from the window.  What we saw Old Man McDonald doing to Mrs. McDonald – WOW!  He is one lucky man.  Oh, you’re asking what?  Come closer and we will whisper it to you.  He was doing the dishes for her!  I know!  Shocking huh?  A man in the kitchen doing the dishes.  We all almost passed out too!  Signed the Farm Hands

Dear Farm Hands –  What the pig!?  I’m so showing this to daddy.  WOW!  Yes you are right.  That Mrs. McDonald is one lucky lady for sure!!  Let me know if you see anything else.

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Remember my friends, Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Keep your letters and pictures coming – sent them to me on my email 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

REMEMBER FRIENDS – We can’t have Dear Bacon issues without YOU.  Keep your pictures and questions coming to me via email 🙂

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

I read your weekly issues all of the time.  I was being bullied in the neighborhood and I took the advice you gave in one of your letters, “Tell someone.”  This is my big brother Chance.  I told him about some cats in the hood that were picking on me because I was small and they wouldn’t let me play ball.  He shadowed me everywhere I went for a whole week.  Isn’t he the best!  And nope, not one mean cat wanted to take a chance with him in not letting me playing ball.  Signed Felix

Dear Felix,

Bravo to you little guy!  I’m so glad my advice paid off.  I don’t think those other cats will be picking on you anytime soon.  Pat Chance on the back and tell him job well done for sticking up for family!

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Dear Bacon,

I’m thinking of trying out for American Idol this coming up season.  Do you think I have a shot.  I can sing!  I mean I can really sing.  I bet you are wondering what will I sing aren’t you?  cough cough – sing with me now my friend:

“In the Jungle, the mighty jungle, the lions sleeps tonight.
In the jungle, the quiet jungle, the lions sleeps tonight.

Near the village, the peaceful village, the lions sleeps tonight.
Near the village, the quiet village, the lions sleeps tonight.

Hush my darling, don’t fear my darling, the lions sleeps tonight.
Hush my darling, don’t fear my darling, the lions sleeps tonight.”

What do you think?  Signed Jagger

Dear Jagger,

Go for it my friend.  I was singing along there with you the entire time.  You’ve definitely got the spirit.  I’ll tell you another thing.  I haven’t seen a zebra try out so you might have one hoove in the door already.

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Dear Bacon,

I know it’s wrong but I can’t help myself.  Sometimes I just want to have a little fun.  On those days, I put on my fin and go into the water.  You should hear the screams!  Who says turtles aren’t bad to the bone!  Signed George

Dear George,

Snorts – that is funny.  I bet you would be a hoot in the bathtub during mom’s 1 hour bubble bath.  That would definitely be a way to get her out of the bathroom.  Oops – did I say that out loud?  snorts.

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Dear Bacon,

My dream one day is to become a comedian.  I just feel it in my bones that I can make humans laugh.  I’ve been working my routine with the animals at Old McDonald’s farm and it has been a riot.  Lots of my get togethers have been standing room only.  Let me try a few on you.

Question:  What did the waiter say to the horse?  Answer:  I can’t take your order. That’s not my stable.

Question:  What did the horse say when it fell?  Answer:  “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”

Question: What did the teacher say when the horse walked into her classroom?  Answer:  “Why the long face?”

And one of my best ones –

Question:  What do you call a horse that lives next door?  Answer:  A neigh-bor!

Did it work?  Did I make you laugh – or at least smile?  Did I?  Signed Rodney

Dear Rodney,

Snorts my friend.  Those were some good ones.  Keep up the great work and remember me when you go famous!

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Dear Bacon,

Do you think this spot makes my butt or tail look big?  I don’t want to have any hang ups on it in the future.  You think?  Signed Babe

Dear Babe,

Not at all my friend.  In fact, I think it brings something to the table.  Mom oohheed and aawweeed over it.  I don’t think you have anything to worry about at all.

Remember friends, keep your questions and pictures coming.  Send them to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com