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Dear Bacon

  Dear Bacon – Okay I admit it.  I’m in a predicament… some would say stuck between a limb and another limb.  I blame it on these pesky squirrels that seem to have taken over my yard.  I was chasing showing one how to get out and he jumped in the tree.  I followed.  I know you have Journalist Rocky the Squirrel that lives in your backyard.  Any suggestions on keeping the little rats squirrels out of my kingdom?  Signed  Hanging

Dear Hanging – Well you do look kind of uncomfortable there my friend.  The first thing is to get to know those squirrels.  I assure you they are not as pesky as you think.  Really – I assure you.  Make friends – you will be surprised what they will do for you think.  Journalist Rocky the Squirrel and his clan keep out the other unwanted dogs and purr things from my kingdom 🙂


Dear Bacon – Honestly this is *not* what it looks like.  I wasn’t kicking anyone.  I wasn’t having a momentarily lapse of judgement.  I wasn’t going crazy.  You’re going to laugh when I tell you what I was doing.  Really – are you ready?  I was learning how to swing dance.  Yep, swing dance.  It works much better with a partner but I was practicing my moves.  What do you think about that little pig?  Signed Swinger

Dear Swinger – I am highly impressed my friend.  Really I am.  That is such a hard dance to learn and I’m impressed that you are doing it.  If my hips could move like that, I would so join up for lessons with you.


Dear Bacon –  I’m sitting in a pan I am.  It’s the pan for the dog who is a hog (no offense).  He chases me and tries to sting me like a bee.  He no eat until he kisses my feet.  Signed Seuss Without a Rhyme

Dear Seuss Without a Rhyme – Snorts!  No offense taken.  I get it.  You and the dog are frenemies.  You keep your enemies close to you to know what they are up to – usually no good.  Instead of sitting in his bowl, perhaps hide that huge bowl.  No bowl to fill, no food to eat and you can act all innocent like you don’t know what they are talking about when they ask what happened to his bowl.  See where I’m going with this?  Cause you know after a while, it’s going to get boring sitting in an empty bowl.  Unless nature calls… then you have something to fill.


Dear Bacon – I’m telling you, I’m innocent!  I got this pillow off of the master’s bed.  He uses it every night and I thought it would help me sleep too.  I went to sleep and then the next thing I knew the master was home asking me what I did.  Really, I did nothing but sleep.  The pillow must have exploded all by itself!  Signed Innocent

Dear Innocent – I can see by the look on your face that you are not guilty at all.  Nope.  That is not the look of guilt.  I do believe you.  I think you were sleeping and minding your own business.  What probably happened is that maybe your inner dog came out while you were sleeping during one of your dreams.  I know this first hoof because I have a deviled ham side that comes out from time to time.  Shivers – and trust me my friend.  He is a little stinker.  So, off you go now to explain that to your master.  I know he will just have to understand.


Dear Bacon –  Oh dear mercy to the heavens.  Please help me.  My humans have went over the deep end.  Signed Fill in for Nicki Minaji

Dear Fill in for Nicki Minaji – Hubba – Hubba.  Look at you my sweet friend.  I think you got the looks and the skills to pull this off.  I wouldn’t be upset with your humans – I would tell them that if they are going to dress you up like Ms. Minaji, then they have to treat you like the star she is!

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REMEMBER FRIENDS – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please remember to send me your pictures and letters to my email ❤

 
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Posted by on 02/02/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’ve made a grave mistake here.  I thought I could jump over the little seat thing that kids swing on… I really did.  I jumped and mean old Mr. Gravity said, “Nope, not today”.  I really hate that guy.  So I guess you can say I’m stuck between a swing and hard place.. .namely the ground.  Any suggestions cause apparently my human who thinks it is hilarious is too busy taking my picture to lend me a paw.  Crazy human.  Signed Swinger

Dear Swinger – You know that’s the problem these days.  When anything happens, humans want to pull out their cell phones and take videos or pictures instead of lending a helping hand.  I don’t get it?  Burning car on the highway – no problems let me video tape it first before checking for survivors.  House on fire – oh yeah this will be good on my Facebook before putting the fire out.  Dog caught with his kibbles and bits up in the air – no worries.  Let’s get this picture first before the pooch passes out or by all means gets unlatched himself.  I definitely feel you my friend.  Can you bounce up with your front paws to get your back paws back on the ground and then wiggle out from that contraption?  Let me know if I need to call someone…. I’m hoping you are free like the wind now 🙂


Dear Bacon – I *know* I saw that darned squirrel on this tree.  I know I did.  He was running around on the ground taunting me.  I know he’s here somewhere.  If you see him, let me know okay.  Signed Hunter

Dear Hunter – Oh my friend, I’ve seen him alright.  He’s a sneaky sly little fellow.  I would go as far as to say that he has skills of unnatural means.  Put your paws down on the ground silently.  Now just as silently and be careful of the crunch of the leaves, slowly walk around the trunk of that massive tree.  Quiet now.  You don’t want to scare the little fellow.  You may find him around on the other side watching you… waiting for you to leave.  Smart little guy huh?  Enjoy playing tag my friend.


Dear Bacon – I don’t get it.  I found this wonderful food on the ground.  It’s awesome!  So much chocolate.  There I was sitting in my tree enjoying it.  That’s when the weird stuff happened that I don’t get.  My friends kept walking by and saying, “Georgia eat a Snickers bar.  You know you’re not you when you’re hungry”.  Shakes head in confusion.  I don’t get it.  Do you?  Between you and me though, that Snickers bar did hit the spot.  Signed George

Dear George – Snorts with piggy laughter.  You don’t watch television much do you my friend?  You see there were some wonderful Snickers commercials out some time ago that had the saying, “You’re not you when you’re hungry”.  Okay, maybe the better thing to do here is to show you one of them…. one of my favorites.  Then it will ALL make sense.  Enjoy my friend.


Dear Bacon – I think the purr things here are pranking me.  They said they had a surprise for me.  They then told me I had to put my paws over my eyes and stay that way until they came back.  That was three days ago.  Do you think it’s save to go to the bathroom.  I really, REALLY need to go now?  Signed Waiting

Dear Waiting – Shakes head.  Oh my friend.  Don’t you know yet that purr things are horrific for doing such things to us?  The two here try to do these things to me as well.  But I don’t fall for it.  You can never trust a purr thing – sorry my cat friends.  But you know it’s true to.  Ya’ll are beyond devious and you have so much training from years and years of taking care of yourselves.  I bow down to you.  I really do.  So why don’t ya’ll do all of us a favor and leave us alone.  And Waiting – by all means go to the potty before you explode like a balloon.


Dear Bacon – My humans are wickedly bad at this torture.  They really are.  There we were watching some superheros on our television.  I was minding my own business and just enjoying the company on the couch.  My dad said that all superheros need a mask.  He was eating a sandwich so well you can see what he did.  Why?  That’s all I really need to say, right?  Why?  Signed Masked Bandit

Dear Masked Bandit – Oh my friend.  You have to give your dad something on creativity.  And you have to admit that it is pretty cute.  No one would ever guess that’s you behind the bread.  Nope not at all!

 

 


REMEMBER friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your pictures and questions via email.

 

 
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Posted by on 08/11/2015 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Special Post About My Bestie!

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Today is a very special posting for me. I want to introduce all of my friends to one of my besties. His name is Stevie Hamilton Sykes and he is also a miniature pot bellied pig – like me!

I met Stevie a while back and it was an instant friendship. We have similar likes, get in trouble in the same way, we both have great personalities, charisma and we look strikingly similar.

Daddy explained it to me perfectly. He said we were piggy brothers from a different piggy mother. I mean really we look that alike. To the right, this is a picture of me. Handsome huh?

I wanted to show you my picture so you can see the similarities between us two handsome pig studs.

I asked Stevie why his adopted momma pig adopted him. I was kind of curious because my mommy always wanted me and I wanted to see if it was similar. Stevie said the following:

“When momma pig was just a piglet aged girl herself she would volunteer at our local humane society in Pennsylvania. There was a giant pig named Elmer. Poor Elmer was soooo huge. He was the same size as his pen. He literally had no room to move. Momma fell in love with Elmer and all pigs at age 9. She would visit Elmer twice a week and give him attention. Eventually he got to go live on the farm. Ever since, Momma collected pig stuff. Up until Momma had her human piglets, she had a gigantic pig collection on display. For fear of the human piglets messing up her stuff, she had to box up most of it. Momma pig used to work a whole lot, up to 55-70 hours a week. But last year, she got to become a mostly stay at home momma and when she saw me available she jumped for the opportunity!”

Cool huh? Very similar to my mommy always wanting me and falling in love with pigs on her grandfather’s farm.

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To the left, this is a picture of Stevie sleeping on the bed. This is a move that I also like to make with mommy. Just FYI between us, I’m a 75 on the Sleep Number bed 🙂

Notice Stevie’s little white pouch on his forehead and his handsome little snout. See what I mean about looking the same – who would have ever thought there would be two handsome pigs like us in the world.  I’ll tell you a little secret.  At night time when I see shooting stars in the sky outside of my window, I wish for me and Stevie to live closer.  That way maybe we could hang out together and fun. 🙂

Stevie is a little younger than me but he is a happening pig! One day, I want to be just like him when I get over my anti-nature anxieties.

His first family adopted him as a tiny little piglet. His human momma pig adopted him when he was 5 months old on December 27th. He just turned a year old not too long ago.

I asked Stevie about his living arrangements. You know, where he hangs out, sleeps and has fun. This is what Stevie said:

“Well, I feel like I own the first floor of our house. Poppa pig would differ with that statement. When I first moved in, I got to claim the living room. Momma and Poppa used baby gates to keep me there but when I outsmarted those they used couches to confine me. Then I learned to jump over the couches. They started locking and closing doors but it still gave me free roam of the hall, kitchen and living room areas.
When Poppa pig isn’t home and is working, I get to sleep with Momma pig. That is my preference but Poppa says no piglets in the parents bedrooms. Since I don’t like stairs much, I usually stay away from my sister and brother piglets rooms.”

Oh Stevie. I’m not sure if you know how much this little oinker laughed at that. Baby gates are really a joke. Do our parents really think they can keep us out of rooms by mere baby gates? We are such smart little piggies and will figure out a way. Am I right? My mom and dad went through a six month ordeal with me and baby gates. It was really hilarious. They did eventually win but getting there was some fun times with me! I would literally knock them down and then stomp on them as if to tell them, “I WON!”

And yeah, my daddy is the same about pigs in the bedroom. He doesn’t like me sleeping in bed with him and mom either. Not that I’m not cuddly or anything. He doesn’t like it because I *always* steal his blankies – snorts. Poor daddy. He gets cold.

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See what I mean by happening pig – look at Stevie playing on a trampoline! He said that it felt very weird the first time and he wouldn’t budge at all until someone bounced him – snorts. Those little humans will do that every time!

Now, he doesn’t mind the trampoline whenever the others aren’t going jump crazy! But as he’s gotten heavier, he doesn’t like to be picked up as much. See, us pigs are like that. We like to have our hooves solid on the floor. That makes us comfortable. Being picked up can be scary and we are afraid of falling. Well actually, we’re not afraid of falling. We’re afraid of the impact – snorts.

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But, if our hooves can rest on something, we are okay. And see, I told you that Stevie likes the great outdoors. Here he is in the picture swinging with his Momma Pig. Stevie – you are really inspiring me to get outside, overcome my fears and live at large.

My mommy says that if I do, she will get me my very own pool, a possible swing and maybe – maybe a pig trampoline. Sounds like an awful lot of blackmail persuasion, doesn’t it? I wonder how much more I can get out of her before I try to venture outside? The ideas are endless!

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And look at these pictures – Stevie got to see and feel snow. I’m so pig jealous! I still have not seen this white stuff that mysteriously falls from the sky… or taste it for that matter. Stevie said his first time in the snow was this past January.

Remember what I said about picking pigs up and us not feeling safe that way?  Well, Stevie said he didn’t squeal at all during this picture where his Momma Pig was holding him. He said the big, wet, cold falling flakes caught him so off guard that he was silent.  That’s got to be some amazing snow if he didn’t make any sounds at all.  I gotta see this stuff in person!

 

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Stevie said that he absolutely wanted nothing to do with standing on the snow at that time. But by the next time, he was happily enjoying an all you can eat buffet of snow. I gotta ask though Stevie. What did it taste like? Was it cold? Was it sweet?

Stevie and his Momma Pig even made a snow pig together. How cool is that?! I so wished that it snowed here in the south in Georgia. We just don’t get that much. Maybe the next time, can you bottle it and send me some? 🙂  I would be most appreciative because it doesn’t look like we are going to get any here in Georgia.

 

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And Stevie has his very own Facebook account that he posts in about his adventures. I go on moms Facebook account all of the time and read his stories and look at his amazing pictures. Sometimes, I’ll even post comments under mom’s name.

If you get a chance and you have Facebook, it would be awesome if you befriended him. Tell him that Bacon sent you. I’m sure you will enjoy his stories and adventures as much as we do. I know you’ll have fun. Look at his profile – he’s a professional food taster and went to the Charlotte’s Web School in Lynchburg, Virginia. OMP! (Oh My Pig). That school sounds amazing. I wonder if they are accepting new students?

 

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This is also another great picture of Stevie. Sitting right in front of his laptop doing what he does best – social networking! This is also how I do my blogging on my laptop. It just fits.

I asked Stevie about his typing skills. You know what he said? He said he was great typist but was easily distracted. He can usually type 10 words a minute along with 5 mouths full of food. He said that he needed plenty to eat when he was exercising his hooves so much! I totally agree. I myself get hungry working on my blog and typing.

 

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This is also something that I have never done – play video games. But as you can see in this picture, Stevie is a pro! He said that he was playing Spiderman with his brother piglet here. PLOL (Pig Laughing Out Loud) You know his brother piglet got pouty because Stevie won – snorts.  You’re good Stevie – real good!

Stevie said that his mommy told him that it was a PS3 and doesn’t have any of the games from the “good ole days” like Tetris, Mario or Donkey Kong which are her favorites. But Stevie is a huge fan of Spiderman, Narnia and Sonic – with a little of Steeler’s Football! And if Stevie is like me, we come from a long history of liking and participating in football.  I think we could both look into our family trees and see that we have a lot of ancestors that got thrown around in a lot of the football games.  Amazing huh?

Some interesting tidbits I found out about my friend –

He had a major love for feet for several months. He absolutely LOVED daddy’s shoes more than any other shoes. He would steal his Reeboks and take them to bed with him! He loved his dads shoes what can I say? This is funny. I can just picture you doing this Stevie. I myself have been known to steal the different remotes from around the house, the purr things toys and moms high heels and hide them in my travel crate in my bedroom.  I learned real fast that mom’s high heels were also way off limits.  What is about a woman and her shoes?  I don’t get it.  Do you?

And I thought this was priceless. Stevie’s Granny pig thought it would be a great idea to give him a litter box when the rest of the family attended a funeral. When they came home, there was litter shavings all over the front room. What a great time he must have had redecorating the living room.  I’ve also been known to do this myself a time or three.

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I thought I would end this post on how Stevie got his name. When I read this to my mom and dad, dad literally was rolling around laughing so hard. This is what Stevie said about how he got his name – Stevie.

“When I first came home, I was very timid. Poppa pig had to force me out of the cage. Poppa pig is a computer guy and has lots of spare P.C.’s around the house. Although timid, I liked to go up to the spare computers and try to snack on them. Momma took it that I wasn’t a P.C. fan. I must be more of an apple guy. So I was named Stevie, after Steve Jobs the apple computer guy.”

I really hoped that you enjoyed meeting my new friend. If you get a chance, please check him out on Facebook and tell him that Bacon sent you. If we’re lucky, I’m hoping that he will check this post out later today. Let’s show him lots of love my friends. Thanks for reading my blog!

 
20 Comments

Posted by on 07/15/2013 in Bacon

 

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