Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – What kind of joke is this?  Do you see these mysterious copy dog’s on my bed?  Please – there is only *one* king cat in this family.  End of discussion.  These have got to be imposters! Signed Lord Kitty

Dear Lord Kitty – How dare them try to get in on your royalty.  I say push them off the bed.  Show them who’s boss.  I don’t think it will hurt them – snorts.

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Dear Bacon – I’m really practicing on my please look.  I think I *almost* have it down pact.  What do you think?  Would you give in and give me what I was begging for?  Signed Please Sir

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Dear Please Sir – Oh my!  Oliver Twist has nothing on you my friend.  I think you have the “please sir may I have another look” down to a T.  Really I do.  Perhaps, I a mere piggy should take lessons from you.  With that pose, you are certainly going to get anything you beg for!

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Dear Bacon – Just me hanging out with my lady love on a Saturday night watching some television.  The humans think we look funny.  What say you our pal?  Signed Two in Love

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Dear Two in Love  – I say you two look hopelessly in love with all of your hearts.  You don’t look funny at all.  Maybe the humans are jealous?

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 Dear Bacon – If there is a box, we must fit.  You know how us purr things can be.  Who cares what came in the box, we want to be in the box.  This is me and my brother doing what we do best.  Do you like boxes as much as we do?  Signed Twin Kitties

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Dear Twin Kitties – That is adorable my friends.  It really is.  You got you a condo going on right there in that picture – snorts.  Me, I don’t like ‘sleeping’ in boxes but I do love destroying boxes.  Just give me five minutes alone with a box.  That’s all I ask.  I will have the bestest of all times!

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Dear Bacon – What?  You know at Old McDonald’s farm, it gets hot during the summer months.  This is a picture of what the old man himself helped us out with last year.  He gave us all tubes and let us sit and relax down our little lake on the property.  It was a ball!  You come visit and I’m sure Old McDonald will be glad to do the same for you.  Signed Billy the Kid

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Dear Billy the Kid – OMP (oh my pig!)  That looks like so much fun!  I will definitely get with mom and see if I can come over for a visit this summer.  Heck, I want to tube down the lake myself for some fun… as long as there are no alligators, crocodiles, anacondas, piranhas or sea monsters.  Other than that, I’m so there 🙂

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* Remember friends, keep your questions/pictures coming *

 

Dear Bacon

 Dear Bacon – What can I say?  I’m a happy camper.  I know your dislike for a certain frog but hey can’t we be buds?  Not all of us frogs are all green and taking your woman.  I understand completely.  Does this look like a face of a frog that would take your Miss Piggy?  I think not.  Signed Can’t We Be Friends

Dear Can’t We Be Friends –  Aaaww my new pal.  I would love to be your friend.  And you are right.  I only dislike one certain green frog who thinks he is God’s gift to my woman… Kermit.  When he decides to leave my Goddess alone, then we might possibly be friends as well.  Kermit if you are listening – call me okay.

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Dear Bacon – I know how your mom loves the mouse with white gloves, Mickey Mouse.  I’m a fan of the other one – Minnie Mouse.  My humans know how much I love her so they bought me this head gear to wear so I could be her.  What do you think?  Am I missing anything?  Signed The New Minnie Mouse Dog

Dear The New Minnie Mouse Dog – You look amazing my friend.  I absolutely ❤ it!  My mom would be so envious in all of your glory.  Do you know what would really set off your outfit?  White gloves.  Oh squeals.  That would have all of the Mickey Mouse Club knocking on your door.  You rock my new friend!  Wear those ears with pride!

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Dear Bacon –  Don’t fear.  This is not a scary movie or a remake of Jurassic Park.  We are real.  We live and roam in the Galapagos Islands in Ecuador.  Wouldn’t it be a hoot to play together?  Of course, you might run a smidgen faster than us but we would enjoy the company.  If you are ever in these parts, call us okay.  Signed Aldi and Gang

Dear Aldi and Gang –  WOW!  Ya’ll are awesome.  I bet we would have a heck of a great time playing together.  Do you think I could piggy back on one of ya’ll?  Instead of the tortoise and the hare stories, we could make the tortoise and the Bacon stories – snorts and rolls with laughter.

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Dear Bacon – Sure, pick on the cow.  My so called friends dared me to get up here on this contraption.  Said it would be fun and exciting.  Yeah, it’s fun and exciting alright.  Can you get me off of this thing pig?  Signed Betsy

Dear Betsy, Oh dear piggy heavens my friend.  You are in a pickle.  I’ll call Farmer McDonald to come save you.  Just don’t bounce okay.  It might be a few minutes.

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Dear Bacon – The humans they are fickle.  I bought my human a gift.  Something I worked hard on getting to repay them for their kindness in giving me my forever home.  What do I get in return?  A screech so loud that I think they heard it on the other side of the world.  I really think I heard glass breaking somewhere in the house.  Then the human did something even weirder.  They jumped on the table and wouldn’t come off until I took their gift outside.  Really?  Fickle humans.  Signed The Great Hunter

Dear The Great Hunter – Snorts.  You see my friend.  Humans like their food cooked… and only certain kinds of food.  I don’t think mice are on their listed foods they eat.  Yet, it was such a wonderful gift to give to them.  You are the great hunter, so gifted. Maybe the next time though hunt some cow.  I’ve heard they like cow…. a LOT.  Carry on and safe hunting.

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REMEMBER FRIENDS – We can’t have Dear Bacon issues without YOU.  Keep your pictures and questions coming to me via email 🙂

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon –  When they humans are away, the Kung Fu Fighting comes out to play.  This kitty was “Kung Fu Fighting” – go ahead you can sing and dance with me.  I won’t tell anyone.  “Those kicks were fast as lighting.  In fact, it was a little bit frightening – But they fought with expert timing.”  Signed Funky Chinatown

Dear Funky Chinatown – Awesome!  What a way to start a Dear Bacon issue.  Love that song.  It’s one of mine and dad’s favorites.  Heck, you should see dad put on his headband and go to town – he’s got the moves like Jagger!  But don’t worry, you’re moves are tops!

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Dear Bacon –  I may look like a super dog but really I’m not.  I’m waiting at the driveway for my super hero to get home from school.  When he gets off the bus, I give him the cape.  In my eyes, he will *always* be my super hero regardless of how old.  Do you have a super hero Bacon?  Signed Side Kick

Dear Side Kick – Let me tell you something my friend, you are not only the bestest Side Kick ever – you are my hero. ❤

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Dear Bacon –  Make it stop.  Why.  Why do we have to be punished like this and given these drownings?  Why can’t I just stay dirty?  Signed Soaking Wet

Dear Soaking Wet –  Aaaww – little guy.  I’m sorry you feel this way.  Let me explain something to you.  Your humans love you.  They really do and it doesn’t seem like it but me trust on this okay.  If they didn’t love you, they would’t bathe you and take care of you.  You know – you wouldn’t have your forever home.  And here at the Hotel Thompson, if your clean guess what.  You get to snuggle in the big bed.  Is that the rule there too?  If so, go ahead and get it over with so you can get some bonding time.  Baths don’t take forever.  Close those puppy dog eyes and roll in some water my friend!

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Dear Bacon – My human.  All mine.  I don’t share.  This is my human’s hand.  I will hold it and hug it and call it mine.  All mine.  Signed George

Dear George –  I say go for it my furry friend.  I would gladly give you my hoof as well – you look way too cuddly!  That’s one lucky human for sure!

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Dear Bacon –  The shock!  It was amazing!  We couldn’t believe it!  It was like a train wreck and we couldn’t move away from the window.  What we saw Old Man McDonald doing to Mrs. McDonald – WOW!  He is one lucky man.  Oh, you’re asking what?  Come closer and we will whisper it to you.  He was doing the dishes for her!  I know!  Shocking huh?  A man in the kitchen doing the dishes.  We all almost passed out too!  Signed the Farm Hands

Dear Farm Hands –  What the pig!?  I’m so showing this to daddy.  WOW!  Yes you are right.  That Mrs. McDonald is one lucky lady for sure!!  Let me know if you see anything else.

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Remember my friends, Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Keep your letters and pictures coming – sent them to me on my email 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

REMEMBER FRIENDS – We can’t have Dear Bacon issues without YOU.  Keep your pictures and questions coming to me via email 🙂

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Dear Chloe – Special Edition

This week we have a great special edition of Dear Bacon.  This week my friend Chloe is stepping in to help me out.   Be sure to check out Chloe’s blog and tell her what a wonderful job she did this week.  I’m telling you – that cow has skills!  Snorts

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Dear Chloe,
HELP! The human thinks it is funny to dress me in between two buns. I feel the need to eat my way out. Can you help a chick out? What can I do? Signed NOT a Chicken Sandwich

Dear NOT a Chicken Sandwich,  I promise I am not trying to lecture you, but have you ever heard something about the color of grass, depending on which side of the fence you are on (I hope that’s not just a cow phrase)? This might be one of those cases…I don’t think they are looking at this as clothing; merely a blanket…cuz you are cold without all your official feathers. So nestle in, little chickie, and enjoy the love.

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Dear Chloe,
The master of the house doesn’t believe me but I got it on film finally! This is how my brother treats me when no one is looking. He’s such a bully. Can you help me out? Signed Tongue Twister.

Dear Tongue Twister,  Eeek! I can tell by the look on your face that your brother’s actions really hurt you. Three words, Twister. Ghost Pepper Powder (ghostpepper.com). Because I can tell you are sensitive, retreat to backyard after you pop some on that outstretched tongue; you don’t want to witness his pain learning curve. I did this once to my sister and we had no further problems. Best thing? She couldn’t tell on me without hanging herself in the process. #ThePerfectCrime

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Dear Chloe,
Did someone say pool time? I’m ready. Went to the pool and the other animals here at Old McDonalds farm said I couldn’t get in. Stomps hooves – why can’t I? Signed Horse Dive

Dear Horse Dive,  You certainly look geared up with all the proper safety equipment! I am flummoxed as to why you wouldn’t be allowed in? It must be one of two reasons. 1) The rules of physics aren’t conducive–the size of the pool must exceed the size of your rear or 2) You have behaved like a donkey. Donkeys are never ever ever allowed in pools, even if the physics work out. Cows, however, always get in.  ;oP

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Dear Chloe,
I think I’ve been had by the stupid dog again. The dog told me there was something good on top of the stove in the pot. I checked. There was nothing. Do you think the dog set me up? Signed Boiling Cat

Dear Boiling Cat,  Uuuum. I don’t even know where to start. You are oh-so-cute, but you have GOT to stop trusting that dog. I would dare say, do the opposite of what he says as a general rule. Also? If he tells you he has Ocean-front property in Arizona, PLEASE tell him you’ve heard that song, already. Please. In fact, if he ever wants you to fork over your allowance or savings, let me know BEFORE your money leaves your precious paw! One last thing, you adorable cuss, you? Move, quick! That nasty smell is called burning hair and it’s YOURS!

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Dear Chloe,
There I was floating on the water minding my own business when this bird thought he was going to pick on me. What he didn’t know was that my mom was underneath me. Ha. That’ll teach him. Have you ever had these problems when you were small? Signed Tiny but Dangerous

Dear Tiny but Dangerous,  Woah! That is one clever trick. I ALMOST feel bad for the bird. Almost. I look at you and wonder exactly at what point you turn from a cutsie little thing to that monster you are riding on? When I was small, my mom did not let me ride on her back (I was not nearly as cute as you!). She did, however, teach me not to eat the rocks, which is probably just as valuable for a cow.

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Thank you so much my friend Chloe!  

REMEMBER friends we can’t have a Dear Bacon issue without YOU.  Please continue to send me your pictures and questions at baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

What kind of joke is this?  Do you see these mysterious copy dog’s on my bed?  Please – there is only *one* king cat in this family.  End of discussion.  These have got to be imposters! Signed Lord Kitty

Dear Lord Kitty,

How dare them try to get in on your royalty.  I say push them off the bed.  Show them who’s boss.  I don’t think it will hurt them – snorts.

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Dear Bacon,

I’m really practicing on my please look.  I think I *almost* have it down pact.  What do you think?  Would you give in and give me what I was begging for?  Signed Please Sir

Dear Please Sir,

Oh my!  Oliver Twist has nothing on you my friend.  I think you have the “please sir may I have another look” down to a T.  Really I do.  Perhaps, I a mere piggy should take lessons from you.  With that pose, you are certainly going to get anything you beg for!

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Dear Bacon,

Just me hanging out with my lady love on a Saturday night watching some television.  The humans think we look funny.  What say you our pal?  Signed Two in Love

Dear Two in Love,

I say you two look hopelessly in love with all of your hearts.  You don’t look funny at all.  Maybe the humans are jealous?

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 Dear Bacon,

If there is a box, we must fit.  You know how us purr things can be.  Who cares what came in the box, we want to be in the box.  This is me and my brother doing what we do best.  Do you like boxes as much as we do?  Signed Twin Kitties

Dear Twin Kitties,

That is adorable my friends.  It really is.  You got you a condo going on right there in that picture – snorts.  Me, I don’t like ‘sleeping’ in boxes but I do love destroying boxes.  Just give me five minutes alone with a box.  That’s all I ask.  I will have the bestest of all times!

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Dear Bacon,

What?  You know at Old McDonald’s farm, it gets hot during the summer months.  This is a picture of what the old man himself helped us out with last year.  He gave us all tubes and let us sit and relax down our little lake on the property.  It was a ball!  You come visit and I’m sure Old McDonald will be glad to do the same for you.  Signed Billy the Kid

Dear Billy the Kid,

OMP (oh my pig!)  That looks like so much fun!  I will definitely get with mom and see if I can come over for a visit this summer.  Heck, I want to tube down the lake myself for some fun… as long as there are no alligators, crocodiles, anacondas, piranhas or sea monsters.  Other than that, I’m so there 🙂

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Remember friends, keep your questions coming.  Send me your question and picture to Baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
We just wanted you to see that you weren’t the only cute miniature.  Look at us – we rock this barn here at Old McDonald’s farm.  Signed Goat Twins

Dear Goat Twins,
OMP (oh my pig!)  You two are the most adorable things I’ve seen in some time.  How does your humans not just pick you up and squeeze you?  Rock on my friends.  Ya’ll are totally cute as buttons!

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Dear Bacon,
I’ve heard you talk about wanting a cape.  I always wanted one too so I thought I would share with you what my humans did for me.  They took an old sheet, cut it and tied it around my neck – there you go – instant cape.  I highly recommend it.  They made me two so when one is dirty I will always have a back up.  You gotta try it.  Signed Puppy Power

Dear Puppy Power
That is totally awesome!!  I doesn’t require any sewing – snorts – so I think mommy can do that for me.  I’ve gotta show this to her and see what she can do.  Thank you so much for sharing this with me.  I feel a cape coming my way very soon!  Piggy power!

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Dear Bacon,
I was on my walk the other day in the neighborhood minding my own business when I came across such a weird animal.  I’m not sure what it was.  It hopped and made little sounds.  We got nose to nose.  Do you know what this thing was?  Signed Boo

Dear Boo,
It’s a rabbit!  Look at those ears and that adorable little cotton tail.  WOW – I have rabbits in my magical backyard but nothing like that fancy one.  So cute!

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Dear Bacon,
It’s not what you think.  That pesky cat in the house dared me to stand upside down and then bet me I couldn’t put my paw in my mouth.  What I didn’t know at the time was that he had a camera and took my picture. Shakes my head.  I fall for it every time.  Suggestions?  Signed Pupbusted

Dear Pupbusted,
Give me a second to get myself together… snorts.  That sounds like something the purr things here would do to me – and have tried.  Sometimes you need to know when to walk away from a scam.  Hopefully, this is as far as the picture goes.  I would recommend finding it on the camera and deleting it.  You wouldn’t want it to show up on this years Christmas cards – snorts.

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Dear Bacon,
I’m a wild hog.  I live outside on my own.  I gather my own food.  I take care of myself.  This is a very rare picture of me in my freedom.  You ever thought about becoming a man pig?  I would teach you the ways of living like a real pig.  Signed Pumbaa

Dear Pumbaa
Shivers.  Why would I want to do that my friend?  I do appreciate the offer but even *I* know that I have it made here at the Hotel Thompson.  I’ve kind of grown accustomed to my bedroom, my toddler bed, my television, my laptop and room service.  Why would I want to live in the wild?  But hey, we all have different goals in life.  Mine is to stay spoiled treasured here with my human mommy.  You rock it though and take care of you!

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Remember to send your questions and pictures to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com