Let’s Reflect Shall We

Let’s take a moment on this last day of May 2014 and do some reflections shall we:

• October will be here before I know it.  I love October.  It’s when I do my 31 Days of Spook.  Every day I post something spooky, strange and/or weird.

• Speaking of strange and/or weird… now that I think about it I really don’t have to wait until October.  My blog is already strange and/or weird.  Think about it – I’m a pig that blogs – snorts.

• Summer will officially be here very soon.  Hhmm… which reminds me.  I still need to make mom get me that pool she promised last year if I went outside into nature.  Making note to work on that.

• Yep.  You read that right.  This little oinker doesn’t care much for the great outdoors.  I’ll go on the deck and sun myself.  But I’ll tell you a secret.  Come closer – I don’t like the way the grass feels on my hooves.  Shocking huh?  It’s just weird.  Maybe I need some boots or something.

• Mom’s 29th birthday is coming up again in a couple of months.  I wonder what I can get her?  Suggestions?

• There’s 207 days left to do some Christmas shopping 🙂  I know some of you were wondering about that.

So friends, anything you want to ponder today on this last day of the month?  I’m all ears.

 

 

Important Message About This Weekend

Have a great and awesome weekend my friends.  Mommy is taking today off for another LONG weekend.  I’m happier well… than a pig in mud!  Have a splash of a greet weekend!  See you on the upside.

 

Freaky Friday Mix Up

Dear Diary,

Something wicked has happened to me. I’m not sure what to think about this. It started out like usual and then it went far left really quick. I’m getting ahead of myself like I normally do so let me start from the beginning. This is what happened:

Yawn and stretch. Hhhmm – eyebrows straight up – that felt different. My stretch was more… well stretchy. Strange. It felt like I had long and fluid legs… not my usual short and stout ones. Maybe I’m losing weight – yeah that has to be it. Opens eyes and looks around my room. What is that insistent chirping noise? It’s coming from beyond the window in my bedroom. I stand up and stretch again. Man, I must be really losing weight. I felt my back, my legs and even my tail stretch on that one. There goes that chirping again. Dude, that’s got to stop.

I walked over to the window and that was another strange thing. My hooves on my bedroom floor didn’t make the regular clickety-clack sound. Strange but okay. I gotta eat some more. I looked up at the window ledge and didn’t think twice before I jumped up on it. WOW – I can jump! Wonder why I never did that before? I looked out the window and spotted those singing creatures outside. Those would so make a wonderful two piece snack. Snap, did I say that? And oh looky – there is Mr. Parson’s furry things. HISS! Double HISS! What in the world?! Where did that come from? Shakes head – things are weird this Friday.

I hear mom in the kitchen and the next thing I knew she was saying, “Frühstück”. I immediately jumped down and went down the hallway. Hey, I’m hungry for some breakfast. I hope she made tuna. I then stopped immediately in my tracks. What?! How did I know German? And tuna for breakfast? Today is strange.

I continued to the kitchen and that’s when weird became super weird. I walked up to mom and swished my body against her legs and bit her ankle. What in the world?! Mom started fussing at me and I started talking back to her. What? I don’t do that. I ate my breakfast and then spied an empty box in the living room. Oh squeal – this is my lucky day! I looked at mom and made one last meow at her and went in the front room jumping in the box. What in the heck just happened? I meowed and jumped in a box. WHAT?! Something is definitely wrong. I ran to my bedroom and looked in the mirror. Blinked several times and shook myself. I must still be dreaming. There is no way this can be real. I’m Tigerlino?! Oh dear, that must have been some bad strawberries I had last night. I can’t be a boy kitty. No way! No wonder I could jump. This can’t be happening. A nap. That’s what I need – a power nap.

So Diary. I thought it was just a dream. All I had to do was go back to sleep and finish this dream. That’s it. I’m a pig. I’m not a cat. No way! So the power nap commenced. I woke up after an hour or so and just *knew* it would be better… so I thought. This is what happened then:

Slowly I started to wake. It felt funny. It didn’t feel like my soft bed. This felt like paper. I looked underneath me and somehow I had fell asleep on the newspapers. Ha – I guess that was my way of keeping on top of the current events. I went to stand and tripped over my two front feet – clumsy me. I stretched and then I was off to look for the ladies room. I found it and chattered until I got some privacy. That’s when I smelled the coffee from mom. She was at the fridge getting some of that delicious evaporated milk for her warm cup. I walked over and pleaded by going in and out of her legs and talking to her until she caved. She fixed me a little bowl and it was pure heaven! The only thing that could have made this better was some strawberry yogurt. Licks lips and starts to clean myself. Oh snap! I didn’t know I could bring my back leg up over my head?! Oh dear heavens – call Circus Soleil – this she kitty has skills!

What? What did I just say?! Oh my, something is very wrong. What is mommy doing now? Oh Himmel! Here comes that monster in the closet. Screech! and runs off to the bedroom to hide under the bed. I’m shaking. I’m scared. That monster in the closet is like a scary movie waiting to happen!

But wait a minute. Why am I hiding under the bed and still speaking German?! I keep repeating to myself, “This can’t be real. This can’t be real.” I slowly crawl out from underneath the bed and look in the mirror. Holy bat kitty – look at that sexy purr thing – wolf whistles. Wait a minute, that sexy purr thing whistled back at me. I move my arm and she moved her arm. Oh no. Oh no. I finally looked down at my feet. Oh.good.Lord. I’m Roxy now? What in the world have we done? What happened?

Diary, I’m trying to remember last night. I remember talking to Tigerlino and Roxy before going to bed. We were talking about how each of us live throughout the day at our homes. Uh-oh… is this Freaky Friday?! I lay down and close my eyes trying to concentrate. When I open them, I’ll be fine. This is just a dream. You know like how when mom sleep walks. Yeah, that’s it. It has to be it. I’m going to count to 10, open my eyes and look down. Everything will be fine. Really. I *just* know it.

OH DEAR HEAVENS – Call Dr. Phil. Call Oprah. Call the Vet. I’m A CAT!?!

 

I’m a Spam Expert

 

A HUGE Thank You to everyone that participated in my Shopping Around the World yesterday.  It was so interesting to see the different prices from all over the world.  Keep checking back to my blog to get the items for next months shopping which will be scheduled June 25, 2014.

 

Inner Peace Award

Squeal! Happy piggy dance – shake it to the left – shake it to the right – I’m so excited!! Angel Whisper gave me this award last week on 05/20/2014.  Isn’t it awesome?!  So unique and lovely!!  Thank you so much my kind sweet friends!

The only ‘rule’ for this award is to write a short piece on why you are accepting it.  That’s easy enough so here I go.

Life is too short.  Life is too short to be stressed…to be worried… to be depressed.  There’s one way to overcome all of that.  Laugh.  Laughter brings inner peace and smile to your face.  If I make one person smile… or pee in their pants a little with laughter… then my job is well done.

For those that do not have this award, please accept it.  I’m giving this award to ALL of my friends here on my blog.  You deserve a little inner peace today 🙂  Much love to all of you – XOXO – Bacon

 

An Ode to High Blood Pressure, in 6 Words

Oh friends – you must check out this posting!! My great friend asked me to participate in six words again (I’m #35 today). Today’s theme is an ode to high blood pressure in six words. Of course, mine is “Being invited to the barbeque dinner”. Shivers – that can be dangerous for a little piggy… especially one that is say well endowed in the pot belly – double snorts. Be sure to check this out today my friends. AND many thanks to Eli for inviting me again – you’re the man! XOXO – Bacon

Just a dad ...

photo credit: oleg.skl via photopincc

All signs point to summertime.

The pollen has subsided. Baby geese are now awkward goslings. The Cubs and Astros have clinched last place, and LeBron is one of the last men standing in the NBA playoffs. There’s more spaghetti straps and short shorts, I’ve noticed.

And of course – High-Blood Pressure Awareness month is winding down.

And not a moment too soon, I might add. I’ve wanted to blow my top at least 30 times in May – that’s an average of once a day. That’s a lot, y’all, for a guy like me. Things keep pissing me off. Like, when we run out of graham crackers, and it’s 3 a.m.

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Shopping Around the World

My friend Fozzie and I have scheduled a group posting today of Shopping Around the World.   We thought it would be interesting to see the differences between different countries all over.

Here are our prices for the following from our area – Georgia USA:

• Price of internet for one month.  We are pretty fortunate here at the Hotel Thompson.  Our monthly internet service runs us around $15.00 a month.  We run my laptop, dad’s i-pad, mom’s computer and mom’s i-phone off of it.
• A pint of Ben & Jerry’s.  If you don’t have Ben & Jerry’s, post what you do have.  Ben & Jerry’s is right up there with Häägen Dazs here.  It runs about $4.00 a pint.
• A six pack of Coca Cola.  Mom just bought some at the market last week on sale.  On sale, they run about $1.99 – off sale $2.99 each
• Coffee.  Whatever brand you buy, just be sure to list the brand and size.  Mom and dad usually get Eight O’Clock coffee.  It runs $6.00 for a 12 ounce bag.  If they are lucky, sometimes they can get it buy one get one free.
• A regular sized Snickers candy bar.  $0.80 each
• Grooming.  🙂 Most of us anipals get groomed.  How much does it normally cost you to go to the spa?  Snorts.  The last time Mouse Girl (one of the purr things here) went, it cost $40.00 – :O  This was for a wash, cut, groom and dry.  She’s girly like that – PLOL (piggy laughing out loud).  The last time I went, I cost $25.00.  There’s not much to fluffing a pig – snorts.

Are you surprised at any of the prices above?  Do tell.  If you have suggestions for the next Shopping Around the World – please email them to me at baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Dear Evil Squirrel – Special Edition

This week we have a Special Edition of Dear Bacon.  This week my good friend Evil Squirrel is going to fill in for me.  Be sure to visit him and let him know what a wonderful job he did my friends!

 

Dear Evil Squirrel,
Sshh – don’t tell the owner. She hasn’t had her eyes checked in some time and still thinks I’m her kitty. I have it made until she gets new glasses. Any suggestions on how to maintain this trick? Signed Kitty in Disguise

Dear Kitty in Disguise,  I have to commend you for pulling the wool over the human’s eyes using nothing more than a cheap eye mask.  I thought that stuff only worked in Bugs Bunny cartoons.  If you’ve managed to fool her for this long, I think you can probably succeed over the long haul.  Just remember to keep sulking and taking 23 hour long naps like every other kitteh does so she doesn’t get suspicious.  Oh, and keep the rabies to yourself… you may be able to fool your owner, but I don’t think your local animal control officers are gonna buy that disguise.

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Dear Evil Squirrel,
Hey when the humans are away the snake will play. I got hungry for a hot pocket. What I learned though was I need some fingers. Any suggestions? Signed Hotss Pocketss

Dear Hotss Pocketss,  I will personally unwrap and microwave all of the Hot Pockets you want at your request.  All I ask in return is that you don’t get hungry for something exotic like…. oh… squirrel.  You’re not a tree climbing snake, are you?  That picture is going to give me nightmares for the rest of my life!

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Dear Evil Squirrel,
You may enter and use my throne. Make it quick though. I have plans to make and households to overtake. Signed King George

Dear King George,  Bad kitteh!  Bad!  Do your humans perch themselves on top of your litter box and watch as you do your business?  The bathroom is the most important room in the house to two-footers, and I fear that is one throne you are going to be forced to abdicate.  Besides, you don’t really want to be hanging around when your subjects are parting with that chili they had for dinner.

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Dear Evil Squirrel,
Me up to no good? Surely you are joking. What would give you that kind of idea that I’m into trouble? Signed Smirky

Dear Smirky,  Up to no good?  Ha!  We squirrels know a thing or two about being up to no good, and I can assure you, the perfect “up to no good” face looks a lot more dastardly than that.  No, I just assumed you found your human’s bottle of Prozac and helped yourself to some happiness.  I know saying a dog looks happy seems to be pretty redundant, but you seem to be what my good pal George Carlin liked to call “more than happy”.  When Edie Brickell sung about a “smile on a dog,” she had to be thinking of you!  Keep smiling, Smirky.  Keep smiling…

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Dear Evil Squirrel,
Darn those ghosts! I’m so close to getting a high score on Pac Man. I know I can do it. Have you played? Signed Wonka Cat

Dear Wonka Cat,  I was quite the video gaming expert back in my day.  I spent more acorns than I care to think about outrunning ghosts, leaping barrels, shooting aliens, and blasting centipedes.  At least you have the luxury of unlimited continues, so all I can say is keep practicing.  And if Pac Man gets too frustrating, switch to Super Mario Brothers and take it out on the turtles.

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Thank you so much to my good friend Evil Squirrel  for stepping in for me this week.

Remember my friends – this Dear Bacon issue can’t happen without YOU.  Keep sending your pictures and questions to me at baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Memorial Day

Memorial Day is Monday, May 26, 2014.  It is a federal holiday in the United States.

On this day, which occurs every year on the last Monday of May, we remember the men and women who have died while serving our country.

Many people on this day will visit cemeteries and memorials placing an American flag at graves to honor our fallen heros. Let’s remember that appreciation is not only one day out of the year – it’s year round.

Thank you to all of those who have died while serving our great country! I think this picture says it all.

 

Rest in Pizza Doughboy