Something wicked has happened to me. I’m not sure what to think about this. It started out like usual and then it went far left really quick. I’m getting ahead of myself like I normally do so let me start from the beginning. This is what happened:
Yawn and stretch. Hhhmm – eyebrows straight up – that felt different. My stretch was more… well stretchy. Strange. It felt like I had long and fluid legs… not my usual short and stout ones. Maybe I’m losing weight – yeah that has to be it. Opens eyes and looks around my room. What is that insistent chirping noise? It’s coming from beyond the window in my bedroom. I stand up and stretch again. Man, I must be really losing weight. I felt my back, my legs and even my tail stretch on that one. There goes that chirping again. Dude, that’s got to stop.
I walked over to the window and that was another strange thing. My hooves on my bedroom floor didn’t make the regular clickety-clack sound. Strange but okay. I gotta eat some more. I looked up at the window ledge and didn’t think twice before I jumped up on it. WOW – I can jump! Wonder why I never did that before? I looked out the window and spotted those singing creatures outside. Those would so make a wonderful two piece snack. Snap, did I say that? And oh looky – there is Mr. Parson’s furry things. HISS! Double HISS! What in the world?! Where did that come from? Shakes head – things are weird this Friday.
I hear mom in the kitchen and the next thing I knew she was saying, “Frühstück”. I immediately jumped down and went down the hallway. Hey, I’m hungry for some breakfast. I hope she made tuna. I then stopped immediately in my tracks. What?! How did I know German? And tuna for breakfast? Today is strange.
I continued to the kitchen and that’s when weird became super weird. I walked up to mom and swished my body against her legs and bit her ankle. What in the world?! Mom started fussing at me and I started talking back to her. What? I don’t do that. I ate my breakfast and then spied an empty box in the living room. Oh squeal – this is my lucky day! I looked at mom and made one last meow at her and went in the front room jumping in the box. What in the heck just happened? I meowed and jumped in a box. WHAT?! Something is definitely wrong. I ran to my bedroom and looked in the mirror. Blinked several times and shook myself. I must still be dreaming. There is no way this can be real. I’m Tigerlino?! Oh dear, that must have been some bad strawberries I had last night. I can’t be a boy kitty. No way! No wonder I could jump. This can’t be happening. A nap. That’s what I need – a power nap.
So Diary. I thought it was just a dream. All I had to do was go back to sleep and finish this dream. That’s it. I’m a pig. I’m not a cat. No way! So the power nap commenced. I woke up after an hour or so and just *knew* it would be better… so I thought. This is what happened then:
Slowly I started to wake. It felt funny. It didn’t feel like my soft bed. This felt like paper. I looked underneath me and somehow I had fell asleep on the newspapers. Ha – I guess that was my way of keeping on top of the current events. I went to stand and tripped over my two front feet – clumsy me. I stretched and then I was off to look for the ladies room. I found it and chattered until I got some privacy. That’s when I smelled the coffee from mom. She was at the fridge getting some of that delicious evaporated milk for her warm cup. I walked over and pleaded by going in and out of her legs and talking to her until she caved. She fixed me a little bowl and it was pure heaven! The only thing that could have made this better was some strawberry yogurt. Licks lips and starts to clean myself. Oh snap! I didn’t know I could bring my back leg up over my head?! Oh dear heavens – call Circus Soleil – this she kitty has skills!
What? What did I just say?! Oh my, something is very wrong. What is mommy doing now? Oh Himmel! Here comes that monster in the closet. Screech! and runs off to the bedroom to hide under the bed. I’m shaking. I’m scared. That monster in the closet is like a scary movie waiting to happen!
But wait a minute. Why am I hiding under the bed and still speaking German?! I keep repeating to myself, “This can’t be real. This can’t be real.” I slowly crawl out from underneath the bed and look in the mirror. Holy bat kitty – look at that sexy purr thing – wolf whistles. Wait a minute, that sexy purr thing whistled back at me. I move my arm and she moved her arm. Oh no. Oh no. I finally looked down at my feet. Oh.good.Lord. I’m Roxy now? What in the world have we done? What happened?
Diary, I’m trying to remember last night. I remember talking to Tigerlino and Roxy before going to bed. We were talking about how each of us live throughout the day at our homes. Uh-oh… is this Freaky Friday?! I lay down and close my eyes trying to concentrate. When I open them, I’ll be fine. This is just a dream. You know like how when mom sleep walks. Yeah, that’s it. It has to be it. I’m going to count to 10, open my eyes and look down. Everything will be fine. Really. I *just* know it.
OH DEAR HEAVENS – Call Dr. Phil. Call Oprah. Call the Vet. I’m A CAT!?!