Moral of the Story

A pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. He was so pleased with his donkey that he entered it a 2nd time and it won again. The local paper read: “PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.” The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read: “BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTORS ASS.” This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, upon hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: “NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.” The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read: “NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.” This was too much for the bishop so he ordered the nun to buy back her donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:”NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.”

The bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is – being concerned about public opinion can bring you grief and misery and even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life..  You’ll be a lot happier and live longer.

 

Deep Thoughts Monday

This morning after my breakfast of piggy chow and Cheerios I was reading the newspaper… You know catching up on the current events. While reading the paper, I had a cup of coffee that looked kind of like this.  That started me thinking. Wouldn’t you love to go to your neighborhood coffee shop and order a cup of joe like this? Wouldn’t it make you smile? You would think of me, wouldn’t you? It takes a very talented barista to pull this off and make coffee look this good. Maybe Starbucks needs to add it to their menu. Mom would definitely order it.

Having this cup of coffee made me think of the different changes in the world. What if… Let me stop laughing… What if the roles were reversed and mommy stayed at home and I went to her worky place? I think being a pig I could fit right into the mix. It might work. Let’s really think about it shall we.

Mommys computer has dual monitors. I’m not sure what that actually means but it sounds exciting. Mom says she types a lot all day long and plays with numbers. Now I can’t type the 100 plus words a minute that she does cause you know she has 10 fingers and I only have 2 hooves but I can try. And playing with numbers, well I’m not so good at that but it should be interesting in payroll and monthly STATs that she does. Ok well maybe going to work wouldn’t be a good idea.

Then I started thinking about the animal store called Petco. Have you been there? They have a cat and dog buffet bar that the humans can fix for them. Petco, I have a complaint with that. Why can’t you make a piggy buffet bar? Just saying.

 

 

Barks!  Now that I have your attention my friends, I must share something fabulous with you.  Something that is so exciting – something that I have been keeping a secret for two entire weeks.  And you know for a terrier to keep something a secret – that just blows your little doggy mind!  Okay – Okay – let me *try* to calm down for a minute and give you some back up information.  Some of you may remember reading about DOGtv on my weekly Paw Time with Houdini series.  If you missed it, you can check out my postings here and here.

I absolutely ❤ DOGtv.  I wrote them an email straight from my puppy heart.  And they extended all of my friends here two months of on-line subscription free when they sign up for one month at DOGtv using the code PIGLOVE at checkout.  It’s really a cool channel just made for us pooches.  I watch it every night before I go to bed.  It’s kind of like my nightly routine here at the Hotel Thompson.

Well friends, I want you to check out something that came out today on-line with the newspaper USA Today.  You will absolutely not believe who made it in the paper – coughs, barks, grunts and then smiles with happiness.  I’ve even copied the article below for your convenience.  Guess who is doing the happy dance at the Hotel Thompson?

I want to take this point to give a shout out to USA Today and Jueun Choi – barks you’re the best!

 

31 Days of Spook – The Ghost and Mr. Chicken

Today is one that is close to our hearts here at the Hotel Thompson.  Today, we focus on one of the all time greatest movies, “The Ghost and Mr. Chicken”.  What, you don’t believe me when I say it’s scary?  Let’s discuss shall we.  What is a hero – snorts.

This movie came out in 1966 and starred Don Knotts as Luther Heggs.  It starts off with Luther driving down the street and hearing screams of, “Murder, murder” from a neighbor.  He takes pictures, gets the story from the neighbor and then goes to the local police station to report the crime.  While he’s reporting the crime, who walks in but the local ‘victim’.   The town thinks he’s a laughing joke.  And to top everything off, the full time writer for the paper, Ollie Weaver, lives in the same boarding house as he does and tells everyone over breakfast the next morning about what Luther did the night before.  This is also the time that you get to meet Ollie’s girlfriend, Alma Parker, who Luther has a secret crush with.

Poor Luther.  He works as a newspaper typesetter and wants to be a reporter so bad.  The staff of the newspaper want to increase sales and sees an opportunity for Luther to help out…even if it’s a joke  Ollie challenges Luther to spend the night in the local haunted Simmons mansion on the 20th anniversary of the murders that took place in the home.  The story was that Mr. Simmons murdered his wife and then jumped to his death from the organ loft of the home.  Legend says that you can still hear the ghost of Mr. Simmons still playing the organ at night, a haunting macabre tune.  Luther takes the bait and accepts the challenge of staying in the haunted house all by himself.

So the night comes and Luther goes into the haunted Simmons mansion.  He looks around and you visibly see that he’s scared by his shaking.  He settles down on the sofa in his sleeping bag for the night.  At midnight, it starts.  Luther hears the old organ begin to play from the loft.  He goes up to the loft area and sees the organ playing the haunting melody by itself.  He runs down the stairs and sees the painting of Mrs Simmons on the wall with hedge clippers sticking in it and ‘blood’ like material dripping out of it.  The newspaper starts flying off the shelves of Luther’s story of his night in the haunted Simmons mansion.  So much so that Nicholas Simmons (the nephew of the deceased couple) sues Luther for libel.  When it goes to court, the judge orders the courtroom to the Simmons mansion at midnight to prove Luther’s story.  Nothing happens and Luther looks like a fool.

Everyone leaves the house except for Luther who is moping around feeling sorry for himself.  Soon after, the organ begins to play the haunting macabre tune from the loft area again.  Luther runs upstairs and behold he sees Mr. Kelsey (who is the newspaper janitor) playing the old organ.

Mr. Kelsey and Luther talk about what happened and guess what?  They confront Nicholas Simmons and we learn that he was the one that killed his aunt and uncle and have been trying to cover the story all of these years.  How did he get away with the murders you ask?  There was a secret passage from the study up to the organ loft that had been his alibi.  Mr. Kelsey knew the secret and wanted Luther to be the one to open the case wide open.  Just by luck, Luther knocks out Nicholas Simmons with a body slam and becomes the local hero.

And yes.  Luther even got a girl out of the ordeal.  He marries his secret crush, Alma Parker.  As they say their “I do’s”, the organ starts playing all by itself the haunting macabre tune that was being played in the Simmons mansion.

It’s a great movie, one that is watched many times here at the Hotel Thompson.

 

Riddle with Daddy – The Answer

 

Moral of the Story

A pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. He was so pleased with his donkey that he entered it a 2nd time and it won again. The local paper read: “PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.” The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read: “BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTORS ASS.” This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, upon hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: “NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.” The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read: “NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.” This was too much for the bishop so he ordered the nun to buy back her donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:”NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.”

The bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is – being concerned about public opinion can bring you grief and misery and even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life..  You’ll be a lot happier and live longer.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m not sure about you but my accountant really bites.  He’s got a bad attitude and is always thinking numbers.  I don’t get it.  Why can’t accountants have pleasant personalities – maybe joke around a bit.  I think that would really show a better enthusiasm for their job.  I mean we are talking about my money, it may not be a lot but it is mine.  I thought I would show you a pic of my guy.  I have to admit though, he’s good.  He chomps down and sets to work on that keyboard.  He looks for everything he can find to deduct.  If you ever need a good accountant, let me know okay.  Signed Frogger

Dear Frogger – Well my, my, my.  Your ‘guy’ does look very – how can I say it – professional in what he does. I see what you mean by his serious look.  He does have a stern don’t mess with me kind of disposition.  Maybe the numbers bring it out in him?  Maybe bring him a gift next time – some swamp water or some Lubriderm lotion.  I’ve heard that lotion does wonders for tough skin.

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Dear Bacon –  My favorite time of the day is in this picture.  It’s early morning and it’s breakfast time!  They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.  Trust me.  It is.  And you know what.  Milk does a body good.  My little legs will grow strong and my ‘moo’ will be coming out soon.  Cause you know what they say?  You got to moo-moo it.  HA!  I made a funny.  I told you breakfast is important – it starts my day like awesome.  Signed Tina

Dear Tina – Shaking my head.  You are right.  Breakfast is very important not to miss in starting your day.  That’s why every day, I start off with my piggy chow and Cheerios.  I gotta keep my figure in check and my cholesterol down.  This piggy has places to travel!

 

 

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Dear Bacon  – Don’t you hate it when uninvited solicitors show up at your door?  Take for instance, I was settled down reading my magazines and newspaper.  You know the typical Sunday leisure day.  Then Bob showed up selling God only knows what.  I told him I wasn’t interested in and he kept on roaring.  How rude!  I finally just had to turn and walk away.  Maybe he got the hint then.  Geez, some anipals huh?  Signed Tigger

Dear Tigger – Please don’t send Bob my way.  It’s bad enough when solicitors come into our hood.  They don’t even come to our crib anymore.  Too many times they have showed up and after seeing moi answer the door, they got scared and turned away.  I don’t get it.  I was just in the doorway with daddy answering the door.  Who cares that he was wearing his Sponge Bob underwear.  Shakes head.

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Dear Bacon – Be glad that you don’t have a desk job little piggy.  In this picture, it was a Friday at 4:45 pm – almost time for the weekend to start.  The head guy showed up in my doorway and wanted a report that was going to take at least an hour to finish and he needed it that night.  WTD?  Really?  You waited all day to tell me this at 4:45 pm?  Shakes dog head – some people have no tact.  Signed Bruiser

Dear Bruiser – OMP!  I so understand.  Mom has been done this way a time or two.  I’ll tell you what I tell her when she calls and tells us she is going to be late.  It sucks and it’s unfair!  I hope you got some overtime for staying over my friend.

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Remember my friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without *you*.  Please continue to email me your letters and pictures ❤ 

 

31 Days of Spook – The Ghost and Mr. Chicken

Today is one that is close to our hearts here at the Hotel Thompson.  Today, we focus on one of the all time greatest movies, “The Ghost and Mr. Chicken”.  What, you don’t believe me when I say it’s scary?  Let’s discuss shall we.  What is a hero – snorts.

This movie came out in 1966 and starred Don Knotts as Luther Heggs.  It starts off with Luther driving down the street and hearing screams of, “Murder, murder” from a neighbor.  He takes pictures, gets the story from the neighbor and then goes to the local police station to report the crime.  While he’s reporting the crime, who walks in but the local ‘victim’.   The town thinks he’s a laughing joke.  And to top everything off, the full time writer for the paper, Ollie Weaver, lives in the same boarding house as he does and tells everyone over breakfast the next morning about what Luther did the night before.  This is also the time that you get to meet Ollie’s girlfriend, Alma Parker, who Luther has a secret crush with.

Poor Luther.  He works as a newspaper typesetter and wants to be a reporter so bad.  The staff of the newspaper want to increase sales and sees an opportunity for Luther to help out…even if it’s a joke  Ollie challenges Luther to spend the night in the local haunted Simmons mansion on the 20th anniversary of the murders that took place in the home.  The story was that Mr. Simmons murdered his wife and then jumped to his death from the organ loft of the home.  Legend says that you can still hear the ghost of Mr. Simmons still playing the organ at night, a haunting macabre tune.  Luther takes the bait and accepts the challenge of staying in the haunted house all by himself.

So the night comes and Luther goes into the haunted Simmons mansion.  He looks around and you visibly see that he’s scared by his shaking.  He settles down on the sofa in his sleeping bag for the night.  At midnight, it starts.  Luther hears the old organ begin to play from the loft.  He goes up to the loft area and sees the organ playing the haunting melody by itself.  He runs down the stairs and sees the painting of Mrs Simmons on the wall with hedge clippers sticking in it and ‘blood’ like material dripping out of it.  The newspaper starts flying off the shelves of Luther’s story of his night in the haunted Simmons mansion.  So much so that Nicholas Simmons (the nephew of the deceased couple) sues Luther for libel.  When it goes to court, the judge orders the courtroom to the Simmons mansion at midnight to prove Luther’s story.  Nothing happens and Luther looks like a fool.

Everyone leaves the house except for Luther who is moping around feeling sorry for himself.  Soon after, the organ begins to play the haunting macabre tune from the loft area again.  Luther runs upstairs and behold he sees Mr. Kelsey (who is the newspaper janitor) playing the old organ.

Mr. Kelsey and Luther talk about what happened and guess what?  They confront Nicholas Simmons and we learn that he was the one that killed his aunt and uncle and have been trying to cover the story all of these years.  How did he get away with the murders you ask?  There was a secret passage from the study up to the organ loft that had been his alibi.  Mr. Kelsey knew the secret and wanted Luther to be the one to open the case wide open.  Just by luck, Luther knocks out Nicholas Simmons with a body slam and becomes the local hero.

And yes.  Luther even got a girl out of the ordeal.  He marries his secret crush, Alma Parker.  As they say their “I do’s”, the organ starts playing all by itself the haunting macabre tune that was being played in the Simmons mansion.

It’s a great movie, one that is watched many times here at the Hotel Thompson.

 

Start Spreading the News

 

Singles Ad

You know everyone in the world is looking for love – some in the wrong places for sure – snorts.  This weekend I came across the most perfect singles ad that was posted in our local newspaper, The Atlanta Journal.  Why do you ask?  Read on to see what it said:

“Single black female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.  I’m a very good looking girl that loves to play.  I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pick up truck, hunting, camping, fishing trips and cozy winter nights lying by the fire.  Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand.  I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work wearing only what nature gave me.  Call XXX-XXXX and ask for Daisy.”

Sounds sexy enough huh?  Over 15,000 men found themselves calling the number and talking to the Atlanta Humane Society abut an 8 week old black Labrador Retriever.  Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter.