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Dear Evil Squirrel – Special Edition

27 May

This week we have a Special Edition of Dear Bacon.  This week my good friend Evil Squirrel is going to fill in for me.  Be sure to visit him and let him know what a wonderful job he did my friends!

 

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Dear Evil Squirrel,
Sshh – don’t tell the owner. She hasn’t had her eyes checked in some time and still thinks I’m her kitty. I have it made until she gets new glasses. Any suggestions on how to maintain this trick? Signed Kitty in Disguise

Dear Kitty in Disguise,  I have to commend you for pulling the wool over the human’s eyes using nothing more than a cheap eye mask.  I thought that stuff only worked in Bugs Bunny cartoons.  If you’ve managed to fool her for this long, I think you can probably succeed over the long haul.  Just remember to keep sulking and taking 23 hour long naps like every other kitteh does so she doesn’t get suspicious.  Oh, and keep the rabies to yourself… you may be able to fool your owner, but I don’t think your local animal control officers are gonna buy that disguise.

.

.

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Dear Evil Squirrel,
Hey when the humans are away the snake will play. I got hungry for a hot pocket. What I learned though was I need some fingers. Any suggestions? Signed Hotss Pocketss

Dear Hotss Pocketss,  I will personally unwrap and microwave all of the Hot Pockets you want at your request.  All I ask in return is that you don’t get hungry for something exotic like…. oh… squirrel.  You’re not a tree climbing snake, are you?  That picture is going to give me nightmares for the rest of my life!

.

.

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Dear Evil Squirrel,
You may enter and use my throne. Make it quick though. I have plans to make and households to overtake. Signed King George

Dear King George,  Bad kitteh!  Bad!  Do your humans perch themselves on top of your litter box and watch as you do your business?  The bathroom is the most important room in the house to two-footers, and I fear that is one throne you are going to be forced to abdicate.  Besides, you don’t really want to be hanging around when your subjects are parting with that chili they had for dinner.

.

.

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Dear Evil Squirrel,
Me up to no good? Surely you are joking. What would give you that kind of idea that I’m into trouble? Signed Smirky

Dear Smirky,  Up to no good?  Ha!  We squirrels know a thing or two about being up to no good, and I can assure you, the perfect “up to no good” face looks a lot more dastardly than that.  No, I just assumed you found your human’s bottle of Prozac and helped yourself to some happiness.  I know saying a dog looks happy seems to be pretty redundant, but you seem to be what my good pal George Carlin liked to call “more than happy”.  When Edie Brickell sung about a “smile on a dog,” she had to be thinking of you!  Keep smiling, Smirky.  Keep smiling…

.

.

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Dear Evil Squirrel,
Darn those ghosts! I’m so close to getting a high score on Pac Man. I know I can do it. Have you played? Signed Wonka Cat

Dear Wonka Cat,  I was quite the video gaming expert back in my day.  I spent more acorns than I care to think about outrunning ghosts, leaping barrels, shooting aliens, and blasting centipedes.  At least you have the luxury of unlimited continues, so all I can say is keep practicing.  And if Pac Man gets too frustrating, switch to Super Mario Brothers and take it out on the turtles.

.

.

**************************************************************************************

Thank you so much to my good friend Evil Squirrel  for stepping in for me this week.

Remember my friends – this Dear Bacon issue can’t happen without YOU.  Keep sending your pictures and questions to me at baconthompson@gmail.com

 
77 Comments

Posted by on 05/27/2014 in Dear Bacon

 

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77 responses to “Dear Evil Squirrel – Special Edition

  1. sunsetdragon

    05/27/2014 at 1:42 am

    Great job mr or mrs or mz. squirrel

     
    • evilsquirrel13

      05/27/2014 at 8:31 am

      Thank you very much! Mr. is just fine, though I respond to a wide variety of other names…. some of which can’t be mentioned on a family blog like this…

       
  2. wallaceandsamuel

    05/27/2014 at 2:29 am

    O…M…D!!! Did you SEE the SIZE of Hotss Pocketss!!!!!!! Excellent job Evil Squirrel, we have little first hand experience of your species, as you don’t live in our neck of the woods butt we’re starting to think that maybe you’re not as bad as all our furends make you out to be!
    Wally & Sammy

     
    • evilsquirrel13

      05/27/2014 at 8:32 am

      Thank you! We squirrels are only evil to those who deserve it. Squirrels don’t mind being chased around by doggies, so long as it is agreed the teeth stay in the mouth…

       
      • dezizworld

        05/27/2014 at 9:37 am

        Yous be vewy cute Evil Squirrel. MOL and sum purretty good advice.

        Luv and Hugs and Kitty Kisses ♥♥♥

        Dezi

         
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 9:02 am

      Of course Evil Squirrel is special – very special my friends 🙂 XOXO – Bacon

       
  3. NotAPunkRocker

    05/27/2014 at 4:36 am

    The cat’s name is King George? Perfect.

    Hotss Pocketss made me literally LOL.

     
    • evilsquirrel13

      05/27/2014 at 8:34 am

      I’d LOL about Hotss Pocketss while keeping one eye open….

       
      • PigLove

        05/27/2014 at 9:08 am

        And perhaps at least three houses down if not one state over – snorts. XOXO – Bacon

         
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 9:03 am

      These were some great letters this week and Evil Squirrel was awesome! XOXO – Bacon

       
  4. Molly The Wally

    05/27/2014 at 5:07 am

    OMD nice one evil squirrel. Love Smirky. Have a terrific Tuesday.
    Best wishes Molly

     
    • evilsquirrel13

      05/27/2014 at 8:34 am

      Thank you!

       
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 9:04 am

      Thanks my friend. You have a wonderful Tuesday as well 🙂 XOXO – Bacon

       
  5. easyweimaraner

    05/27/2014 at 5:27 am

    hahahaha… my mom thought Hotss Pocketss is a dough ribbon :o)

     
    • evilsquirrel13

      05/27/2014 at 8:35 am

      I wish he was… that thing gives me the creeps!

       
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 9:04 am

      Snorts. I’m not sure what he is but he is NOT in my kitchen – double snorts. XOXO – Bacon

       
  6. gentlestitches

    05/27/2014 at 7:00 am

     
    • evilsquirrel13

      05/27/2014 at 8:36 am

      It doesn’t take much of a snake to rattle a squirrel’s cage!

       
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 9:05 am

      You win hands down with that one Auntie Sharon… shivers to mergatroid!! XOXO – Bacon

       
  7. onespoiledcat

    05/27/2014 at 7:07 am

    Well done Evil Squirrel! You certainly handed out some excellent advice to this week’s troubled souls……I must say that python picture makes me VERY nervous……and my Mom is BEYOND nervous…she’s afraid to open the door of our microwave in case an evil snakey snuck in during the night and curled up in there………I bet this yellow monster couldn’t cram himself in his microwave if he tried!!!!!

    Hugs, Sammy

     
    • evilsquirrel13

      05/27/2014 at 8:41 am

      Thanks! I won’t be going in the kitchen for several months after seeing that snake!

       
      • onespoiledcat

        05/27/2014 at 10:02 am

        I know snake lovers probably thought that thing was gorgeous…..I think it looked like a giant man-eating banana. YIKES

        Sam

         
      • PigLove

        05/27/2014 at 10:02 am

        Snorts. I won’t be going into the kitchen for some time now my cousin. Mom can just throw me my food over the piggy gate – snorts. XOXO – Bacon

         
      • onespoiledcat

        05/27/2014 at 10:23 am

        Amen to that……My Mom is hoping she doesn’t have nightmares about that banana python. 😦

         
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 9:06 am

      I don’t think so either Cousin Sammy. When I opened that letter here at the Hotel Thompson, I have to admit I squealed to the high heavens. Mommy thought I had hurt myself. I actually did from running far, far away from that letter – snorts. XOXO – Bacon

       
      • onespoiledcat

        05/27/2014 at 10:25 am

        It is a disturbingly LARGE snakey thing…..hard to imagine someone wanting to cuddle with it…..unless it was another python of course.

        Sam

         
      • PigLove

        05/27/2014 at 11:23 am

        oh shivers! Not in my hotel my friend – NOT in my hotel. We will ALL pass on the slithery long things here. XOXO – Bacon

         
  8. fozziemum

    05/27/2014 at 7:58 am

    Well done Evil Squirrel…great advice..i must I would rather a big Hotss Pocketss than the ones we get here….the bigger the better…and as for poor King George….a ruler has to do what a ruler hs to do bwahaahah hugs Fozziemum xxx

     
    • evilsquirrel13

      05/27/2014 at 8:42 am

      Thanks!

       
      • fozziemum

        05/27/2014 at 8:44 am

        So welcome 🙂 really I will take the python hahaah 🙂

         
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 9:07 am

      Snorts! Too funny huh? As daddy says, it’s not the amount in the size of the fight but the wallop the size has. XOXO – Bacon

       
      • fozziemum

        05/27/2014 at 9:11 am

        Hahahhahh I agree…I would rather wrassle python then be bitten by our nasty buggers…fancy my wrassling skills more ;0 hugs and loves Fozziemum xxxx

         
  9. katsrus

    05/27/2014 at 8:21 am

    That dog does look like he’s up to something. LOL. My cats sit in the bathroom and watch too. LOL.
    Sue B

     
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 9:07 am

      Snorts – Mouse Girl will also do that here IF daddy lets her. As mom says, “Who wants an audience?!” Snorts. XOXO – Bacon

       
  10. evilsquirrel13

    05/27/2014 at 8:29 am

    Reblogged this on Evil Squirrel's Nest and commented:
    My good friend Bacon over at PigLove allowed me to be the guest advice giver for his popular “Dear Bacon” column this week! Please visit Bacon’s most excellent blog to check out my contribution, as well as the other wide variety of interesting things Bacon writes about!

     
    • dezizworld

      05/27/2014 at 9:43 am

      Yous gav sum good advice Evil Squirrel. And yous so cute.

      Luv and Hugs and Kitty kisses ♥♥♥

      Dezi

       
      • evilsquirrel13

        05/27/2014 at 10:15 pm

        Awwww. Thank you! And you are quite cute yourself!

         
      • dezizworld

        05/27/2014 at 11:23 pm

        Fank yous.

        Luv and Hugs and Kitty Kisses ♥♥♥

        Dezi

         
  11. 1jaded1

    05/27/2014 at 8:40 am

    Hotss Pocketss…LMAO…so funneh…now let’s go have some chileh.

     
    • evilsquirrel13

      05/27/2014 at 10:11 pm

      Ha! I instinctively typed “chileh” for this post… then realized most of Bacon’s audience would have no idea what I was talking about!

       
  12. Lori Fontanes

    05/27/2014 at 9:45 am

    I think I just saw Evil Squirrel in my backyard digging up all the sunflower seeds I planted yesterday! Will pay for bus ticket to send him back pronto!!! 😉

     
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 9:50 am

      Snorticles! So very funny. XOXO – Bacon

       
    • evilsquirrel13

      05/27/2014 at 10:15 pm

      You can send me away, but I’ll always come back for more!

       
      • PigLove

        05/27/2014 at 10:21 pm

        Amen for that! XOXO – Bacon

         
      • Lori Fontanes

        05/28/2014 at 8:19 am

        Ah, I was afraid of that! 🙂

         
  13. merbear74

    05/27/2014 at 9:58 am

    This was great ES!

     
  14. Twindaddy

    05/27/2014 at 10:34 am

    If my dog gets into my prozac there will be hell to pay.

     
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 11:20 am

      Isn’t that the truth! XOXO – Bacon

       
  15. Jovina Coughlin

    05/27/2014 at 10:40 am

    Great photos

     
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 11:23 am

      These were some really good letter this week. Keep them coming my friends! XOXO – Bacon

       
  16. Boomdeeadda

    05/27/2014 at 10:43 am

    hehehehe. That was lot’s of fun! Well with the exception of the hot pocket loving snake. Phooey, who would ever want that in their house? Especially when a dog, kitty and piggy are so much cuter.

     
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 11:24 am

      aaww – you think I’m cute 🙂 I love you. XOXO – Bacon

       
  17. The Cutter

    05/27/2014 at 10:52 am

    It’s all fun and games until the “cat” gives you rabies.

     
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 11:20 am

      Snorticles! XOXO – Bacon

       
  18. katiebblogs

    05/27/2014 at 10:55 am

    Phew, Evil Squirrel did a great job. Not sure I like that snake picture, yuck! Let’s stay away from the snake, Bacon. That first picture was pretty great though! Who knew squirrels gave such great advice?

     
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 11:24 am

      I know! It’s wonderful news – that Evil has skills. We shall remember that for future letters 🙂 XOXO – Bacon

       
  19. sue ellen

    05/27/2014 at 12:31 pm

    SNAKE…. O M goodness !!! Ekkkk…. run squirrel…run Bacon….. run peeps !!!!!
    We wee doggies have already left !!!!!!! *%$#”?#! that scared the ‘poo’ outta us !!!!!
    ♪ L&M scotty dogs

     
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 12:44 pm

      You know I squealed and RAN! Mom doesn’t need to worry about me going in the kitchen unchaperoned now. Nope. Not at all. XOXO – Bacon

       
  20. Misaki

    05/27/2014 at 3:44 pm

    Daddy would love it if that snakey visited our kitchen!

     
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 4:18 pm

      Snorts! Really?! WOW – I’m still shaking just looking at the picture. XOXO – Bacon

       
  21. Genevieve Petrillo

    05/27/2014 at 3:58 pm

    Smirky! OMG! You don’t stand a chance, buddy. You’ll never get away with ANYTHING!

    Love and licks,
    Cupcake

     
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 4:19 pm

      That’s what I thought too! With a grin like that, I would just have guilty tattooed on my forehead – snorts. XOXO – Bacon

       
  22. purrfectkitties

    05/27/2014 at 4:22 pm

    Great job, Evil Squirrel! 😀 xoxo Roxy & Tigerlino

     
  23. Pink Ninjabi

    05/27/2014 at 7:20 pm

    Dastardly is a new word for me, hahah love the post!

     
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 8:28 pm

      Thank you my sweet friend. XOXO – Bacon

       
  24. Marilyn Armstrong

    05/27/2014 at 7:21 pm

    Love the masked bandit animal-who-is-not-a-raccoon. Good my husband didn’t see that snaky picture. He might never sleep again! You made me laugh, so you remain one of my favoritist bloggers 🙂

     
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 8:28 pm

      Aaww. Thank you my dear friend. I know I won’t be going in the kitchen anytime soon by myself. Snorts. XOXO – Bacon

       
  25. Nylabluesmum

    05/27/2014 at 9:20 pm

    Excellent Evil Squirrel…you did a great job! I love that Yellow Python…maybe I should get on for my place to protect from gossipers….hmmmmmm what a good idea 😉
    Sherri-Ellen & Nylablue (who prefers I adopt a raccoon, lol..)

     
    • PigLove

      05/27/2014 at 9:24 pm

      Snorts. Oh shivers my girl. Mr Hotss Pocketss sure would take care of those neighbors. Snorts. XOXO – Bacon

       
  26. Nylabluesmum

    05/28/2014 at 10:30 am

    😉 He shure wuud!!! Bee funny to see Mum ‘walkin her Python” fer shure!!
    **Snorticklez**
    Lub < Nylablue ❤

     
    • PigLove

      05/28/2014 at 10:57 am

      Snorts – can you see her doing that on a leash!? OMP (oh my pig!) I can’t breathe here. That is too funny my sweet purr thing!! XOXO – Bacon

       
  27. Nylabluesmum

    05/28/2014 at 2:18 pm

    MOL/PLOL…me haz guud eemaginashun don’t me Bacon?? 😉
    Mumm had guud talk wif one of da peepz in here n me finkz dere iz a bit of peece…if nott me gonna gett Mum dat Python fer shure….heheh!
    Lub yer *purr fing* Nylablue ❤

     
    • PigLove

      05/28/2014 at 2:44 pm

      Snorticles! That my love sounds like a plan. If you need that snake, will contact Fozzie. I think they have some good ones in Australia! Snorts. XOXO – Bacon

       
  28. Nylabluesmum

    05/28/2014 at 2:57 pm

    BWHAHAHAH!!! (evil laff)
    Grrrreat idea Bacon; yer a BERY clever piggieboy n if me needz help me will come to ya fer shure….
    Me iz shure Aunti Bev wuud lub to ship summ snakez away anyway 😉
    Lub Nylablue ❤

     

This piggy would love to snort with you :)

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