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Dear Bacon

20131113-093216.jpg Dear Bacon,

Leash training.  Well, it sucks.  I can’t go too far without the human deciding that I shouldn’t be that far.  A pig has to have his freedom!  That’s what I say.  What about you?  Signed Gotta Run

Dear Gotta Run,

Poor little guy.  Mommy *tried* to leash train me.  Let’s just say that I wasn’t a leash kind of pig either.  I’m sure with more practice, I would have adjusted but she didn’t have the will power – snorts.  Look on the other hand my little friend, they are just trying to watch after your safety.  Consider it a gesture of love. 🙂


20131113-093238.jpgDear Bacon,

HA!  This will make you think twice about stomping in that puddle outside again won’t it?  I just had to share.  You never know where my kind might jump out at you.  Consider us like clowns.  We’ll make you laugh but we are scary as heck to look at sometimes.  Signed Hide N Seek

Dear Hide N Seek,

Shivers to murgatroid!  I will never stomp my little hooves in the puddle outside in my magical backyard EVER again.  Heck, I close my eyes and still see you.  EEWW – you are like clowns – scary!!  I gotta get in therapy.  Thanks.


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Dear Bacon,

You’re not the only cute thing that rides around in your mom’s moving thingy.  I love to settle in the back seat and go for a spin.  It kind of relaxes me and helps me to go to sleep.  I think it helps my mom too to hear me go bbaaww.  Signed Tiny

Dear Tiny,

OMP (oh my pig).  Yes you are so right my friend.  You are the most adorable little thing.  I just want to pick you up and cuddle with you!  If my mom saw you, oh goodness, we would so have to adopt you here at the Hotel Thompson!!  Stay safe my little friend.


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Dear Bacon,

I turn my back for one minute and my tail hit my nuts off of the pole.  I think my face tells you everything.  I got make every nut count during these winter months!  Signed Flabbergasted

Dear Flabbergasted,

I’m sorry my friend for laughing but that look is priceless!  Hit me up, I’ll give you some nuts 🙂


 

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Dear Bacon,

No matter what you do in life, never give up and never surrender.  You don’t know what strengths you have until you try.  Stay strong my friend.  Signed Adam Ant

Dear Adam Ant,

Those are some powerful words my little buddy.  So true and spot on.  I will never give up and never surrender with anything in my life.  Thank you!.

 

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10 Comments

Posted by on December 5, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20130724-232059.jpg
Dear Bacon,
Daddy was holding my head and kept making funny faces at me.  I thought it was only fair play that I returned at least a funny face too.  What do you think?  Signed Twisted

Dear Twisted,
OMP (Oh my pig!)  I love that face.  Humans can be so silly with us, can’t they?  They make all these goo goo gaa gaa sounds and twist their faces up.  I think it’s only time that we turn it around and do it back to them.  Fortunately, your dad had the camera on.  Great face my friend.  Thank you so much for sharing the fun!


20130724-232119.jpgDear Bacon,
Oh rawr and barks.  I read your blog and see that you are ‘trained’.  I can’t believe you let your humans do that to you.  A trained pig – barks.  Who has ever heard of that.  Signed Jolly

Dear Jolly,
Really?  Are you done now laughing at me.  Tell me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that harness around your neck?  Who’s trained now barky thing?  snorts.  PLOL (Pig laughing out loud).


20130724-232145.jpgDear Bacon,
They say admission is the first step and I admit it.  I attacked the vacuum cleaner.  Well, I really don’t think it was so much of an attack as it was a jump while it wasn’t looking.  Heck, it was making way too much noise.  And to think mom yells at me when I bark!  I was just trying to get it to be quiet.  You can’t really blame me, can you?  Signed Pupattack

Dear Pupattack,
Well, what you say is true.  How can the humans get on to us and make us walk a certain line of rules and other things can’t.  Just like at the Hotel Thompson.  How come I can bark and squeal but daddy can sing off key loudly in the shower?  I think it is all in fair play.  I back you my friend.  Get the petition started.  I would sign it to get you out of that basket.  By all means – let me sign it to get you out of the cobra basket. 🙂


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Dear Bacon,
Hey, what’s up my friend?  Just chilling here in the sun.  I think you should come down under and see me.  We could have a lot of fun together.  Heck, I would even let you ride in my pouch good looking.  Signed Roolove

Dear Roolove,
You do look awfully comfortable there my friend.  So relaxed, sleepy looking from the sun actually.  Although I would love to visit and ride in your ‘pouch’, I’m afraid it might be bit of a trip for me.  Although, Bashful my pet rock is down under visiting.  Maybe you can look him up and give him a little ride.  Just be sure to please return him to his host family.


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Dear Bacon,
I love – just LOVE – doing this to Jed.  I walk up behind him and disguise my voice saying, “Guess who?”  Has anyone ever done that to you?  It’s a fun little game we play.  Do you know he still never guesses its me.  He’s a hoot.  I fool him every single time.  Do it to one of your purr things and see what happens.  Go ahead.  Signed Fool You

Dear Fool You,
That is a cute little game my friend.  I think I will tell Houdini about this and have him do it to Hemi.  That should be hilarious to see how that goes down.  I can almost picture in my mind.  I’ll be sure to try and have the camera ready for a photo opportunity.  Thanks my friend for the game.

 
13 Comments

Posted by on November 28, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Thanksgiving Prep

20131125-095902.jpgSomething went seriously wrong at the Hotel Thompson.  Mommy asked daddy to dress the bird and prep it for cooking.  I’m not so sure this is what mommy meant for daddy to do.  Although it does look more interesting.  I have to admit that.

Or does this ‘dressing’ the bird equate to playing with your food?  Mommy always fusses at me when I play with my food.  hhmm – interesting how grown up humans get away with these things.

So much for ‘dressing’ the bird.  He’s kind of too cute to eat now.

 
19 Comments

Posted by on November 21, 2017 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20121106-070748.jpgDear Bacon,

This is my scary pose.  Does it work?  I’m trying it out on different people but all they do is laugh.  What am I doing wrong?  Signed Vicious

Dear Vicious,

I hate to say it little fellow but that is so not scary.  The only thing scary in that pose are those huge claws – now that’s scary.  You doing that pose – I just want to tickle that little belly.  I’m sure as you get older, that pose may have more of an impact.  Right now though, you’re just a cute little thing… especially with that sunlight shining on you.  Maybe lose the pose and learn to bristle up that fur a bit.  That might be scary.  Let me know my friend.


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Dear Bacon,

I need some help.  I’m not sure what is going on.  Everyone that sees me starts singing some theme song of Star Wars.  I don’t get it.  Signed Ewok

Dear Ewok,

You don’t get out much do you?  You  need to go through your master’s video collection and find one marked Star Wars.  Watch it.  Watch it closely my friend and see if you notice anything in that movie that you’ve seen before…anything that looks familiar…. anything that maybe has the same name as you.  Love the look!


 

20121106-070855.jpgDear Bacon,

I get picked on all of the time.  You’re slow they say.  I can run faster than you they say.  You’re slower than creek water running down stream they say.  Well, I have found the light and the answer!  These days, I just use my handy dandy skate board.  What do you think?  Signed Tony “Tortoise” Hawk

Dear Tony “Tortoise” Hawk

I think you look fantastic little man!  What an awesome idea that you came up with.  Can’t wait to see you television racing the big guys!  Be safe!


20121106-070939.jpgDear Bacon,

Those pesky cats in the neighborhood were running through the trees.  I thought I would chase them.  You know, just to keep up their exercise.  They got me stuck between two trees.  Have you ever seen such misery?  Signed Woody

Dear Woody,

I would not have believed it if you didn’t send a picture to me.  WOW – you are stuck between two trunks and a hard place.  Hope you got unstuck fast.  Don’t be too hard on those purr things.


20121106-071118.jpgDear Bacon,

This is us, the TMNT, in the early days.  Even then we had style.  Never give up man and always dream big – it can happen to you like it did to us.  Signed Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello

Dear TMNT,

Love you guys!  Mom said that you are making another come back.  I’ve watched some shows from the past.  I would love to be like ya’ll – can you use a pig in the mix?  I want a cool name too – just like ya’lls.  Keep safe and live prosper my new friends!

 
13 Comments

Posted by on November 21, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20121120-062013.jpg
Dear Bacon,
Spiders eeww.  Nobody likes them man.  I’m sorry little dude.  I saw one on the floor.  It was huge.  There was no other place to go.  The evil thing was in the doorway threatening my manhood.  I jumped on the first thing I could to get away from it.  Sink be it.  This is how my master found me.  This doesn’t make me less of a dog does it?  My fear of spiders?  Signed Sweetness

Dear Sweetness,

Well, it might take you down a couple of notches.  You’re name my take you down a few more.  You are my fellow friend are a dog.  A big dog at that.  You could have easily walked over that little spider and saved you some grace.  Unless that spider is as big as you, you are the bigger person.  Start dogging up.


 

20121120-062145.jpgDear Bacon,
Hey dude.  I read your blog all of the time.  I see people talking about yoga and I’ve seen some of the positions.  I gotta lot of stress in my life.  I thought I would try it.  WOW – it works great!  This is my zen trunk position.  It took me a long time to get the balancing together but it’s great now.  Have you tried it yet??  Signed Stingphant

Dear Stingphant,

That’s amazing!  I’m going to have to try some of these positions in my room when no one is looking, especially that Hemi.  It helps out in stress huh?  I really don’t have that much stress but I think over the holidays I’m going to try it.  I’ll keep you posted.


 

20121120-062543.jpgDear Bacon,
Who says zebras can’t be fast?  I’m tired of being the underzebra in the bush getting chased all of the time. I bought me a bike and it is the bomb!  Those pesky little cats can’t catch me anymore.  Whatcha think?  Signed Einstein

Dear Einstein,

I’m amazed!  First of all, you have the talent to ride a bike.  Second of all, I would have never thought about doing that to escape the cat.  But I do have a question.  How are you going to feel that thing up with gas when it runs out?  Just a thought to think about.  Stay safe my striped friend!


20121120-062701.jpgDear Bacon,
I love the water.  I just can’t get enough of it.  My favorite sport is water skiing.  Everyone said that due to my size that I would never be able to participate.  Well, I proofed them wrong.  Don’t let anyone say that you can’t do something.  You can.  Signed Geoffrey

Dear Geoffrey,

I’ve got to admit that if you can do that, I can do some of the things that I want to do in my life.  There’s nothing that can hold us back.  Thank you so much for the inspiration!


20121120-062807.jpgOkay pig –

You think *you* have problems with those pesky purr things.  I have problems.  My master has pet mice.  You know where I’m going.  You can’t eat the pets.  But this, this is taking things a little too far and asking me too much.  What am I to do?  Signed Heathcliff

Dear Heathcliff,

WOW – mom does walk around telling me not to eat the cats.  I don’t.  I may tug on their tails a little but it’s all out of love.  But mice hanging around the head.  Oh buddy, there’s got to be a line somewhere and that’s pushing it.  You might need to leave the room when the master has those play things out wondering around.  I can hold back a lot but that – no way!  Be strong!

 
5 Comments

Posted by on November 14, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20130601-001516.jpg
Dear Bacon,
Hello my friend.  I see you have a squirrel for a friend – thank you for liking our kind.  And, I know you secretly want to be a super pig hero and wear a cape.  Anytime you want, you can be my sidekick!  Signed Super Squirrel

Dear Super Squirrel,

You are so on!  I love the thoughts of being your sidekick.  I’ve been trying to convince mom for a while now that I need a cape.  You think you can help me a little and talk to her?


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Dear Bacon,
I don’t think my friends have any clue whatsoever that I’m not really ‘one’ of them if you know what I mean.  I love this spy stuff – what about you?  Signed RacCat Bandit

Dear RacCat Bandit,

OMP (Oh my pig!)  That is so funny.  I fell off of the couch I was laughing so hard at that picture.  You are a little spy, aren’t you?  I can only imagine some of the information you have obtained with that disguise.  Maybe I need to get a mask for Halloween this year.  It would be a hoot!


20130601-001537.jpgDear Bacon,
It’s really not as hard as it looks.  I’ve been hanging out with some ladies all week and it’s been great fun!  My next step is to see if one of them will marry me.  Do you think I have a shot?  Signed RooFlam

Dear RooFlam,

Well, first of all I think you look great and you have some amazing talent for walking on sticks. I myself could never do that.  I just don’t have the balance.  Second off, you might want to rethink your mission.  It’s bound to come out eventually that you are not what you seem.


20130601-001548.jpgDear Bacon,
Sometimes I think a picture says a thousand words.  I think this is one of those occasions.  What do you think?  Signed Pom the Comedian

Dear Pom the Comedian,

Your picture is so wrong on so many different levels but I have to admit that I laughed… hard!  And, daddy laughed… hard!  Your poor brother – I’m not so sure he thought it was so funny.  All I gotta say, it was a good one but watch out.  I’m sure I’ll be getting a picture and email from your brother in the very near future!

 

 
17 Comments

Posted by on August 1, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – 20131208-210953.jpgLife is so not fair dude.  Life has become so politically correct lately that no wants to do the things they were doing before because they feel they don’t have to.  Do you know what I mean?  This is me.  I told my human I needed to go for a walk.  What do they do?  They give me the pan and sweeper, told me to walk myself and to clean up after myself.  What?  Isn’t that what the humans are suppose to do?  Not anymore they said.  They said that it wasn’t their poop and I needed to clean it myself.  Enough with this politically correct stuff already.  What do you say?  Signed Swifter

Dear Swifter – Oh pal, I so get you.  People are taking life way too serious and need to lighten up a bit.  Life is too short to be in a constant battle of being politically correct.  I say give back that pan and sweeper to the humans.  You are not playing that game.  If they don’t agree, I think a few strategic poop bombs will work – snorts.  Let me know how it works out for you okay.


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Dear Bacon – I don’t get it.  Everyday at the zoo, I come out to greet the humans.  They all make Batman jokes.  I just don’t get and understand it.  My name is Ben not Batman.  Do you get it and if you do can you please explain this to me.  Shakes bear head.  Signed Ben

Dear Ben – Smiles and oinks.  You see my friend there is the superhero called Batman.  Batman’s symbol is like the one here to the right.  I wanted to show you this picture because I need you to see what it looks like.  Now, I need you to go look in the mirror at your handsome chest.  Do you see the resemblance?  That’s right – nods head.  You are Batbear!  Snorts with piggy laughter.

I think personally that is a HUGE compliment.  You have the same markings as a superhero.  That makes *you* a superhero my friend.  Think about that.  You have talent.  I say work it up for all it’s worth and have fun with your markings.

.


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Dear Bacon – squeaks!  For my birthday, all I asked for was one little thing. I wanted a Radio Flyer.  The small human here has one and they play with theirs all of the time.  It looks like so much fun.  I wanted one too.  That way the little human could pull me around the house and have fun.  The day of my birthday, I woke up and guess what?!  I had my Radio Flyer!  Have you ever been in one?  I feel like I can fly!  What do you think?  Do I make this Radio Flyer?  Signed Pig on Wheels

Dear Pig on Wheels – Awesome my friend.  You totally rock that look and look like you are having the time of your life.  I’ve never been in a Radio Flyer.  I think I may need to add one to my Christmas list this year.  I think  could get use to sitting in it and having people pull me all around.  Squeals with delight – carry on and have fun!

.


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Dear Bacon – Is it working?  I saw the hunk of my dreams walk by.  I’ve heard on television that one way the humans attract their mates is to flip their hair.  I thought I would give it try.  What do you think? Yes or no?  Signed Fluffy

Dear Fluffy – hubba hubba my sweet.  I think it is so working.  You flipped that hair so seductively.  If you flipped it my way, I would be so taken with your beauty and wonder.  If your friend doesn’t catch on, let me know.  Call me okay.

.


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Dear Bacon – That stinking purr thing has ticked me off for the last time.  Every time I turn around, Mr. Giggles does something to *me* and then blames me for anything and everything when the humans are looking.  Mr. Giggles steals my puppy food, drinks my water and sleeps in my masters bed near his head.  Enough of this.  I’m a dog in charge.  Mr. Giggles is going to get it in three, two, one – BOOM.  Signed Mr. Pooky

Dear Pooky – Shakes piggy head.  First off my friend, I thought your humans were a little eccentric naming the kitty Mr. Giggles.  Then I saw your name, Mr. Pooky.  Not like there is anything wrong with that, it’s just unique.  Have you thought this through all of the way?  If you scare the giggles out of Mr. Giggles, rolls eyes, can you imagine what he is going to do to you for payback?  Cause you know it’s going to happen my friend.  I’d say rethink the situation and see possibly how you can set him up like he does to you.  Maybe take one of Mr. Giggles furballs and strategically place it on your master’s pillow.  That might be a better route.  Not that I would know anything like that or not.  Looks innocent and whistles.

 

 
15 Comments

Posted by on July 18, 2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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