Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m getting too old to be the party dog in the crowd.  My friends are trying to have an intervention with me and took this picture.  I really didn’t think I had gotten that bad but pictures don’t lie, right?  Between the beer and the shots of tequila, I was out for the night.  I guess it’s time for me to reach out for help.  What do you suggest?  Signed Boozer

Dear Boozer – You are right my little friend.  Admission is the first step and you have taken that step in the right direction.  There are group meetings that you can attend in your area with AAA (Anipal Alcoholic Anonymous).  Make that phone call my friend and good luck with your recovery.

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Dear Bacon – The big thing right now is to Netflix and chill.  I’m all for it.  This is me watching my favorite movie Willard.  If you haven’t seen it, you must watch it.  It’s amazing.  And of course no movie is perfect without the snack of some cheese.  What’s your favorite movie to chill?  Signed Will Jr

Dear Will Jr – Well my friend.  I looked up your movie.  It is what shall I say intriguing for sure.  My favorite movie lately is My Brother the Pig.  This is also an amazing movie.  And I like to watch it with snacks as well – my favorite is popcorn.  You keep chilling little guy!

 

 

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Dear Bacon – Cheap labor.  That’s what I call this.  Our human has a lawn service and dude he puts us to work for kibbles.  We all have our assigned duties from leaf blower, raking and working the riding lawn mower.  It’s unheard of but it does make for some interesting looks when the humans drive by.  I’m hoping that one of the neighborhood ladies will take notice of our skills.  What do you think – we got a chance?  Signed Canine Lawn Care

Dear Canine Lawn Care – Hey, if you were in my hood, I would definitely hire you for sure my friends.  However you get the job done, that’s key in my book.  And once the ladies notice your working skills and the kibbles that you are bringing in, they will have to take numbers at your front door.  Be safe!

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 Dear Bacon –  Look dude, it was a spider on the ground.  I don’t do spiders.  Nope, not at all.  And it was gigantic.  There was no way I was staying on the ground with that monster.  And those humans – they just walked around it like it was nothing.  They are the strangest people.  You afraid of those creepy crawlers too, right?  Signed Spastic

Dear Spastic – Let me get this right.  You are afraid of spiders but not height.  That’s amazing.  And what’s more amazing is that the humans are just walking by without a care not even paying you any attention.  WOW.  Too bad you can’t act like a bird and drop a little something if you know what I mean – snorts with piggy laughter.  I do understand your arachnophobia.  I myself don’t like the little pests with all of those legs either.  No one blames you for that.  Just be careful getting down off that limb okay bro.

 

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Dear Bacon – Look at me – I’m a turtle.  Barks!  Okay maybe not a turtle.  Maybe a cute little pooch. Yep that’s who I am – a cute little pooch.  My human is always dressing me up different ways.  I say go for it because they always give me great treats in return.  Do your humans make you do anything stupid for treats?  Signed Michaelangelo

Dear Michaelangelo – Once my mom put me near a carton of eggs and took my picture.  She said I was the bacon and eggs in its original form.  I don’t get it but mom/dad got a great laugh out of it.  And like you as well – I got great treats.  So hey, if it doesn’t hurt us then I say wear it with pride.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Why do the humans *insist* on buying these little creatures to ‘entertain’ me? They are not entertainment. They are trespassers in my home. What to do? Signed Friendly eline

Dear Friendly Feline – “Most” of us enjoy those little toys of delight. I myself even like playing with the purr toys here – don’t tell anyone. Just our little secret okay.

Try it – you might like it. Throw that thing around a bit, give it heck.

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Dear Bacon – Do you think my ears are too big for my little body? Signed Did You Hear That?

Dear Did You Hear That? – Of course not little guy – you’re still little. You’re going to grow into them. I think you’re fine!

Don’t let others bring you down.

Love what you got my friend. But hey, if you want a trade. I’ll give you my pot belly for them? Whatdayou think? Snort –

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Dear Bacon – You’ve probably heard me outside your window playing in nature in the woods. I play for nuts – you have to look at your retirement and hide those things away for the future. Happy songs! Signed Jammin’ Squrriel

Dear Jammin’ Squirrel – That’s you I’ve heard in the woods behind the house? Play on little man – play on. Awesome sounds you are putting out in nature. I’ll tell mom to throw some extra food out the back door for you.

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Dear Bacon – I’m the fairy bunny in nature. I pass along all of the pollen that makes the humans go sneeze. Don’t you love my wings? Signed Fairy Bunny

Dear Fairy Bunny – Stop it! See, this is why I don’t go out in nature. Can you at least cut back a little on the pollen?

Mommy is going crazy with the sneezes!

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Dear Bacon – I read that you get questions all of the time about big ears, big behinney’s, big tum-tums – BUT have you ever gotten one about big feet? Do you think mine are too big? Signed Rabbitsasquatch

Dear Rabbitsasquatch – Compared to other rabbits, nah – you have perfect feet to stomp out those forest fires… I mean to hop everywhere – PLOL. Really, all joking aside. You have perfect feet. Hey pssttt – can you do me a favor? Can you find that bunny fairy that passes out the pollen and you use those feet for me? Smile – please. HA HA HA

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Humans *think* they can get us.  I’ve got a few tricks up my fur.  I’ve created the Slam-o-helmet.  It protects my little noggin so I don’t get hurt.  Cause you know, I gotta have my cheese.  Clever, huh? Signed Smarty Mouse

❤

Dear Smarty Mouse – That is very clever!  I am very proud of you little fellow.  Still, be careful because you know what happens with only ONE wrong move.  It could be a major ouchie!

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Dear Bacon – You’re not the only animal with his own room.  I have my own room too.  In fact, I have a big boy bed and not just some toddler bed.  What do you think?  Signed Billy The King of the Pillow

❤

Dear Billy The King of the Pillow – I am impressed my goat friend.  Those colors are very becoming with the color of your fur.  See, we are totally blessed to have our own space inside of the house.  I’m not hatin – I think it’s fantastic my friend!

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Dear Bacon – We were walking down the street and we saw each other.  We were both like “BRO”.  You know we had to show a little man love.  What?  You never seen two crocs hugging?  It’s the happening thing right now.  Signed Dos Crocs

❤

Dear Dos Crocs – I think it’s great.  I’ve seen women walking down the street clutching croc purses but never two crocs hugging.  I’m sure it freaked a few people out but hey maybe they just needed a hug or two as well.  Love the friendship!

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Dear Bacon – You know being a purr thing is hard.  We run around the house, we protect the humans from crawley things, we get into everything imaginable and look out the window all day.  It’s a hard life.  By the end of the day, there’s nothing much else to do but pass out on a comfortable spot.  But that’s okay, we trust our humans so we can stretch out without fear.  Signed – Sleeping Kitties

❤

Dear Sleeping Kitties – I understand perfectly about taking care of your kingdom.  I do the same.  And I agree.  It’s hard work.  I also have a tendency to stretch and pass out on the couch with mom after a long strenuous day.  I trust her as well when I go belly up and snore.  You look really comfortable my friends.  Continue on!

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Dear Bacon – My name is Tiny and I’m in charge.  I have a partner in crime named Sasquatch.  Together, we can not lose.  We run around the neighborhood… okay Sasquatch runs and I ride.  We are invincible.  He is my friend and my protector.  We have a wonderful friendship.  Don’t you agree?  Signed Tiny and Sasquatch

❤

Dear Tiny and Sasquatch – Hey, if it’s not broken, don’t fix it.  I think ya’ll look cute together.  Ride on and have fun!!  Life is too short.

 

Rocky’s Nut Brunch

 Welcome my friends to another edition of Rocky’s Nut Brunch.  This week I want to talk about national animals.  Specifically what is the national animal of Scotland.  I bet you don’t know.  Am I right?   I did some research on this and you will be surprised to know that the national animal of Scotland is – a Unicorn.  Really it is.  You can google it.  Because you know it’s on the web.  Are you wondering why the Unicorn is their national animal?

“Well since the 12th century, a unicorn has been a Scottish heraldic symbol when it was used on an early form of the Scottish coat of arms by William I.”

Strange but interesting tidbit of information, right?  But let’s not stop there.  There are other strange national animals.  The komodo dragon is the national animal for Indonesia.  The phoenix is the national animal for Greece.  Monaco has three national animals – the hedgehog, the rabbit and the wood mouse.

 

 

Dear Bacon

 

 Dear Bacon – Who says that the grown ups get to have all of the fun in this world?  I asked for a little game system and guess what?  I got one!  AND it wasn’t even my birthday or Christmas.  My humans got it “Just Because”.  I love that day.  Have you ever had a “Just Because” day?  Signed Hammy

Dear Hammy – I think a “Just Because” day is most excellent to celebrate.  Sometimes mom treats all of us anipals here at the Hotel Thompson to that kind of day.  You know – Just Because they love us.  Those are awesome reminders of their love for us.  Maybe we should do a “Just Because” thing for them too.  If you come up with some ideas, let me know and I’ll be sure to share.

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Dear Bacon – Nope.  Not going to happen.  No way. I am not getting in the water.  Please make it go away.  Suggestions – can you help me out?  Signed Stuck in a Corner

Dear Stuck in a Corner – Sometimes one just has to do what one has to do my friend.  Sometimes all of the licking and cleaning in the world can’t get cleaned what water and bubbles can.  I was once like you – didn’t want to be near the water.  Then I found out how much fun it can be.  I say let the humans have their way.  Before you say no in defiance, let me explain.  After bath time, you usually get extra treats and perhaps something special for dinner.  You just have to.  It’s an unwritten rule in the anipal kingdom.  If it doesn’t happen, then you can torture your human in other ways.  Just sayin’.

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Dear Bacon – I have a sick human.  Really I do.  Let me tell you what these balloons are and then you can decide.  I’m a turtle.  Sometimes my human can’t find me.  Therefore, he ties these balloons around my shell to always know where I am.  Told you – shakes head.  He’s sick. Signed Humiliated

Dear Humiliated – You know my friend that’s kind of genius.  Really.  Your human always knows where you are so he knows where to feed you.  And hey, did you ever see the movie “UP”?  Maybe you can take flight with enough air in those balloons.  Happy sailing and do buckle up.

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Dear Bacon – Help us please.  The humans locked us up in the bathroom while they went somewhere.  When they got back home, they were upset over the room.  I don’t get it.  They set the room up with lots of things for us to play.  Why would they be upset?  Signed Kitty Troubles

Dear Kitty Troubles – Snorts my friends.  I’ll tell you a secret.  Those silly humans LOVE that white stuff A LOT!  They go beserk when they don’t have it in their scratch box and if we play with it here – shivers.  I say push everything in the corner.  Just leave one happy mess for your humans next time.  And don’t play with the priceless white stuff.

.

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Dear Bacon – My human went all teary eyed and off the edge when I got out of the box.  I don’t get it.  Why is she making such a big deal?  I went pee.  Do you see this look on my face?  I mean she went over the edge with oohh and aahhh.  Signed Mystified

Dear Mystified – I have to admit it, that’s adorable.  No really.  Not the look on your face.  Look in your scratch box.  Your ‘pee’ looks like a shape of a heart.  That’s what happened my friend.  You got your human right in the heart.  They always cry when they see hearts.  It’s cute.  I’ll have to remember that the next time I take a wizzy.  I wonder if I can make a heart?  Happy tinkling!

.

.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon –  I have a slight problem here.  I’m always being watched.  Always.  It’s like I get no peace or alone time.  What can I do?  He’s watching me now, isn’t he?  Signed Helpless

Dear Helpless –  WOW!  He is watching you right this instance.  What is he writing a book – are you chapter 3?  The dude needs to leave you alone.  You need to fix this now.  Perhaps the next time he is in the other room, maybe you need to shut the door.  Or persuade him into a closet.  You know, something along those lines.  Sshheessh – a purr thing has to have their alone time.  Good luck my friend.

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Dear Bacon –  With the cold weather coming, I have to use anything to keep my head warm.  They say if the head is warm, your entire body is warm.  I think this is doing the trick.  I found it in the miniature human’s room.  What do you think?  Signed Cat Heater

Dear Cat Heater – My friend.  I think you might want to rethink that head warmer.  Tell me it’s new and not slightly used too okay.  You see, that is not a head warmer.  That is one of the miniature humans butt warmers.  I’ve seen them.  What happens in them is not pretty.  Not pretty at all.  Although it does have a certain appeal as apparel, I’m afraid the other purr things in the hood might just laugh you out of the neighborhood and not let you play in their kitty games.  I’m just sayin’.

.

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Dear Bacon – Life is not fair.  Halloween only comes but once a year and I am so very glad.  Can you believe that my humans dressed me up like a poop factory for the big day?  I’m so humiliated.  Why couldn’t they dress up the small human that cries all of the time like this?  Why me?  I mean my poop is no more than the humans.  Really.  Please help me.  Signed Poop Factory

Dear Poop Factory – I have to admit my friend that the costume is very original.  I saw a lot of costumes on the big night but I think yours might be the icing on the cake.  I say wear it with pride.  I know it’s humiliating.  But I assure you that Christmas is just around the corner.  You know what needs to be done to the Christmas tree.  You know just as a token of your appreciate for this outfit.  Snorts.

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Dear Bacon – Where there’s a bag, you know a cat is there to play.  My buddy snapped this picture of me while I was playing pop goes the kitty in the bag.  Talk about perfect timing huh?  I think my abs look better than your pot belly.  What do you think?  Signed Abercrombie Cat

Dear Abercrombie Cat – OMP (Oh my pig).  That is hilarious.  This picture is so priceless that I’m going to let the shot of my physique just go right on by.  I say bravo to you and your brother for the perfect picture taking.  I think this needs to go viral, perhaps be in a Cats of 2015 calendar or a Christmas card.  Maybe even sneak on your parents Facebook account and post this picture.  Great job my friends.  Now, I’m off to look for me an equally charming shopping bag.  I wonder if they have one with James Bond somewhere here in the Hotel Thompson.

.

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Dear Bacon – For some reason, I think there is an impersonator here in the room with me.  I woke up from one of my many naps this morning, waddled into the living room and found HIM.  HIM is not talking, not purring and not moving.  I think he’s trying to wait for me to turn my back.  I just know he is.  What do you think?  Signed Chucky

Dear Chucky – Oh my!  I think you need to be careful there little guy.  It looks like HIM is preparing to pounce on you.  That could be really dangerous.  I can only imagine what kind of damage he could do to you.  Shivers.  Thank goodness HIM is not here.  Be careful.  Maybe never turn your back to him.  That’s it.  Be vigilant!

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

Sometimes you find yourself between a rock and a hard place and sometimes it’s just between two trees.  It’s all about balance in collecting these nuts for the winter time.  You do anything like this?  Signed Limber

Dear Limber,

That is some balancing act my friend.  I’m amazed at your technique.  I once saw a human nephew do this between the door jams in my bedroom.  He climbed right up using his feet like you did.  Amazing… simply amazing.  I myself do not have this talent due to my ‘amazing’ pot belly – snorts.

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Dear Bacon,

You know the old song, “Who let the dogs out? – bark bark” Well, we’re tired of it.  It’s not always all about the dogs.  It’s about other anipals too.  So me and Red are trying to start a new song, “Who let the pigs out – snort snort – Who let the cats out – meow meow”.  It’s kind of catchy.  What do you think?  Signed Red and Socks

Dear Red and Socks,

I’m all in!  I like it.  It’s very catchy.  I think I’ll start singing it now my friends – snort snort – meow meow.

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Dear Bacon,

The humans don’t get it.  This is MY remote.  It’s my turn for the television show that we are going to watch.  Do you have to fight for control too?  Signed Scamp

Dear Scamp,

AAWW – you need your time with the Animal Planet too my friend!  We had a battle of the wills when mom/dad adopted me.  Hey, I have my own tastes in shows and they do too.  In order to keep peace at the Hotel Thompson, they set me up with my very own television and remote in my bedroom.  Hey – now I’m in heaven!… except when they put my remote on top shelf of the book case.  That’s just mean.  Maybe ask your humans for your own set up.  You never know until you ask.

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Dear Bacon,

You ever have one of those days that the only thing possibly left to do is make a face?  I find that it relieves a lot of stress in my life.  If you haven’t tried it, do.  It may make a difference.  Let me know what you find out.  Signed Puss in Boots

Dear Puss in Boots,

I have to snort on that look on your face.  That is quite humorous.  Personally, I have not tried it although I have seen such looks on my mom’s face from time to time.  I think she may be a firm believer in your stress reducing technique.  I’m off to watch myself in the mirror now to see what I look like.  Thanks for the tip pal!

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Dear Bacon,

Did you mention food?  Me and my bro’s are so there.  Just let us know when/where.  Signed Husky Gang

Dear Husky Gang,

Whoa – hold back my friends.  No mention of food here whatsoever.  Nothing to see.  I do enjoy your healthy appetite and thrust for life.  Ya’ll make such a cute picture together.  And from that picture, I pick up quickly that you are the leader of your gang – snorts.  Stay alert my friend.  You’ll be the first to know if food is on the table here at the Bacon Casa.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

My human thought she would bring me to work today.  As you can tell, neither one of us got a lot of work done.  Well, my mom didn’t.  I did because her desk was the most frequented visited cubicle that day.  I wonder why?  Signed Shrimp

Dear Shrimp,

Smiles and wipes piggy eyes.  Aren’t you just the most adorable, cutest little thing I’ve seen in a while.  I just want to rub that little belly of yours.  You must have really been tired little guy.  Maybe you should do more visits to work with mommy.  I think in no time you would have all of her co-workers wrapped around your little paws!

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Dear Bacon,

I know we are suppose to be enemies but we’re not.  We are buds.  He watches my back and I watch his.  We have the most interesting conversations at our house.  Why can’t we all just get along in the world like us?  Signed Tom and Jerry

Dear Tom and Jerry,

Ya’ll have a great point.  We *should* all just get along in this world.  There shouldn’t be anything saying that we can’t because of one thing or another.  Ya’ll are setting the best example – keep up the great work my friends!

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Dear Bacon,

I was this close to freedom before they caught me and put me back in lockdown.  I could taste freedom and it tasted pretty darn good.  Any suggestions for next time?  Signed Stretch

Dear Stretch,

I have to laugh buddy.  They say your kind is slow and not full of spunk but I think *they* are wrong.  You show the tenacity in making the ‘great escape’.  You were so close – how you got that far up on the fence is beyond me but way to go my friend.  Next time though, might I suggest just watching out for the gate to open.  It might be a safer way for your taste of freedom.

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Dear Bacon,

What?  Haven’t you ever seen a bird wearing a hoodie before?  It gets cold.  I don’t have a ‘fur coat’ like you do.  My feathers only provide so much for warmth.  I think it’s a great idea.  We should all have one, you think?  Signed Fun Times

Dear Fun Times,

I think it’s great!  You look warm, festive and ready to go meet the world in that hoodie.  I say don’t worry about what anyone else might think.  As long as you are warm and comfy, who cares!

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Dear Bacon,

I need help.  I know you have Bashful.  Bashful is like a happening international traveling pet rock.  My owner, he just keeps me in a cage and feeds me.  I don’t get that life of first class traveling or anything.  Any suggestions- can you help me out?  Signed Bug

Dear Bug,

I am so sorry little guy.  Your owner must not have gotten the parenting guide like I did with Bashful.  You have to have exercise.  Your owner needs to walk you or at least put a hamster wheel in your cage for exercise.  Does he take you out for social time, watching television?  Heck, if anything else, you need a friend.  You give him my number, I’ll email it back to you.  I’ll talk to him and see what we can come up with my friend.

.

 

Dear Bacon

 Dear Bacon,

Leash training.  Well, it sucks.  I can’t go too far without the human deciding that I shouldn’t be that far.  A pig has to have his freedom!  That’s what I say.  What about you?  Signed Gotta Run

Dear Gotta Run,

Poor little guy.  Mommy *tried* to leash train me.  Let’s just say that I wasn’t a leash kind of pig either.  I’m sure with more practice, I would have adjusted but she didn’t have the will power – snorts.  Look on the other hand my little friend, they are just trying to watch after your safety.  Consider it a gesture of love. 🙂

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Dear Bacon,

HA!  This will make you think twice about stomping in that puddle outside again won’t it?  I just had to share.  You never know where my kind might jump out at you.  Consider us like clowns.  We’ll make you laugh but we are scary as heck to look at sometimes.  Signed Hide N Seek

Dear Hide N Seek,

Shivers to murgatroid!  I will never stomp my little hooves in the puddle outside in my magical backyard EVER again.  Heck, I close my eyes and still see you.  EEWW – you are like clowns – scary!!  I gotta get in therapy.  Thanks.

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Dear Bacon,

You’re not the only cute thing that rides around in your mom’s moving thingy.  I love to settle in the back seat and go for a spin.  It kind of relaxes me and helps me to go to sleep.  I think it helps my mom too to hear me go bbaaww.  Signed Tiny

Dear Tiny,

OMP (oh my pig).  Yes you are so right my friend.  You are the most adorable little thing.  I just want to pick you up and cuddle with you!  If my mom saw you, oh goodness, we would so have to adopt you here at the Hotel Thompson!!  Stay safe my little friend.

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Dear Bacon,

I turn my back for one minute and my tail hit my nuts off of the pole.  I think my face tells you everything.  I got make every nut count during these winter months!  Signed Flabbergasted

Dear Flabbergasted,

I’m sorry my friend for laughing but that look is priceless!  Hit me up, I’ll give you some nuts 🙂

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Dear Bacon,

No matter what you do in life, never give up and never surrender.  You don’t know what strengths you have until you try.  Stay strong my friend.  Signed Adam Ant

Dear Adam Ant,

Those are some powerful words my little buddy.  So true and spot on.  I will never give up and never surrender with anything in my life.  Thank you!.

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
Daddy was holding my head and kept making funny faces at me.  I thought it was only fair play that I returned at least a funny face too.  What do you think?  Signed Twisted

Dear Twisted,
OMP (Oh my pig!)  I love that face.  Humans can be so silly with us, can’t they?  They make all these goo goo gaa gaa sounds and twist their faces up.  I think it’s only time that we turn it around and do it back to them.  Fortunately, your dad had the camera on.  Great face my friend.  Thank you so much for sharing the fun!

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Dear Bacon,
Oh rawr and barks.  I read your blog and see that you are ‘trained’.  I can’t believe you let your humans do that to you.  A trained pig – barks.  Who has ever heard of that.  Signed Jolly

Dear Jolly,
Really?  Are you done now laughing at me.  Tell me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that harness around your neck?  Who’s trained now barky thing?  snorts.  PLOL (Pig laughing out loud).

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Dear Bacon,
They say admission is the first step and I admit it.  I attacked the vacuum cleaner.  Well, I really don’t think it was so much of an attack as it was a jump while it wasn’t looking.  Heck, it was making way too much noise.  And to think mom yells at me when I bark!  I was just trying to get it to be quiet.  You can’t really blame me, can you?  Signed Pupattack

Dear Pupattack,
Well, what you say is true.  How can the humans get on to us and make us walk a certain line of rules and other things can’t.  Just like at the Hotel Thompson.  How come I can bark and squeal but daddy can sing off key loudly in the shower?  I think it is all in fair play.  I back you my friend.  Get the petition started.  I would sign it to get you out of that basket.  By all means – let me sign it to get you out of the cobra basket. 🙂

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.
Dear Bacon,
Hey, what’s up my friend?  Just chilling here in the sun.  I think you should come down under and see me.  We could have a lot of fun together.  Heck, I would even let you ride in my pouch good looking.  Signed Roolove

Dear Roolove,
You do look awfully comfortable there my friend.  So relaxed, sleepy looking from the sun actually.  Although I would love to visit and ride in your ‘pouch’, I’m afraid it might be bit of a trip for me.  Although, Bashful my pet rock is down under visiting.  Maybe you can look him up and give him a little ride.  Just be sure to please return him to his host family.

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Dear Bacon,
I love – just LOVE – doing this to Jed.  I walk up behind him and disguise my voice saying, “Guess who?”  Has anyone ever done that to you?  It’s a fun little game we play.  Do you know he still never guesses its me.  He’s a hoot.  I fool him every single time.  Do it to one of your purr things and see what happens.  Go ahead.  Signed Fool You

Dear Fool You,
That is a cute little game my friend.  I think I will tell Houdini about this and have him do it to Hemi.  That should be hilarious to see how that goes down.  I can almost picture in my mind.  I’ll be sure to try and have the camera ready for a photo opportunity.  Thanks my friend for the game.