Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
They say that we can all stand on our heads. I don’t know. I think I may be vertically challenged or maybe my head is not flat enough. I just can’t seem to be able to do it all the way with my back legs straight up. It throws me off balance. Can you do it? Signed Not Happening

Dear Not Happening,
Never dear friend. Sometimes we are just not built to do these weird things that you see the humans partake. I can’t stand on my head. This pot belly of mine knocks me off center every time. And my mom, even though she’s human, she can’t do it either. Don’t try to be like everyone else. Make your own path and be happy – leave the sitting to your bottom.

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Dear Bacon,
There’s always that one idiot that has to pop in your picture. Can you relate? I was minding my own business in this shot. I just wanted it to look halfway decent to post on my Pet Harmony dating profile. Signed Available

Dear Available,
Yep. I know exactly what you are talking about. Hemi, the purr thing here at the Hotel Thompson, thinks he should be in every camera shot. He is always photo bombing my pictures. Just keep smiling. Pay back can really be tortuous for our sidekicks. Right? Maybe sign up your friend as well on Pet Harmony and post his picture – of course with your picture cropped out. Snort giggles.

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Dear Bacon,
It’s a wonderful thing to have such great friends. Out in the pasture, sometimes I just get tuckered out. That’s my good buddy will help me out and let me take a nap. Isn’t that nice of him? Signed Sleepy on the Road

Dear Sleepy on the Road,
That is an excellent friend. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen that kind of friendship before. You are most definitely one lucky little guy!

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Dear Bacon,
I coach a soccer team on the weekends. We are always looking for a few new team players. You ever think about playing? I’ve heard that snout of yours can be classified as a deadly weapon.

We could use a player like you. What do you say? Signed Coach Jones of Team Anipals

Dear Coach Jones of Team Anipals,

That sounds like a great deal of fun. I’m In to give it a shot. This snout is very wicked and these hooves are very fast!!

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Dear Bacon,
I think I need some anti wrinkle cream. Every time I wake up, I have more wrinkles! Soon, you’ll just see one giant sloppy dog. What can a pooch do? Please help. Signed Wrinkles

Dear Wrinkles,
As Lady Gaga once said, “Just put your paws up, Cause you were born this way, baby”. Embrace the way you are and don’t try to fight it my friend. Be happy in your own wrinkles.

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I think my face may freeze this way.  I saw my humans naked again – the horrors!  I’m not sure if I can ever face them again.  Have you ever felt this way?  Signed Bub

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Dear Bub – That is really the look.  Thankfully, my humans don’t change clothes in front of me.  I think if they did, I would probably look the same!  I mean once something is seen, it can not be unseen and erased from our memory.  I’m so sorry pal!  Maybe ya’ll can come up with a code of some sorts or tell them to shut their door when they change or when they are in the bathroom.  Nobody wants to see a naked human – shivers.

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Dear Bacon – It’s embarrassing some of the things I see in the zoo.  Humans only see things from their perspective.  I on the other hand see things that the humans don’t think other people are watching.  It’s really bad.  I’ve got some stories to tell!  Signed Blushing Bear

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Dear Blushing Bear – I think you have a future there.  Perhaps you should write a novel – Stories from the Other Side of the Fence; or You’re Not Alone; or better yet Those Crazy Humans.  I would definitely get it and have mom read it to me at night!

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Dear Bacon – I guess the secret is out.  This is how we nip and tuck in the doggy world.  Sigh – it was bound to make the news sooner or later.  Signed Wrinkles R Us

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Dear Wrinkles R Us – I wonder if that would help with my rolls of extra skin?  I’m thinking I’m going to have to try that.  Thanks for the ideas and by the way – you’re beautiful regardless!

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Dear Bacon – Yeah, you pay the time for the crime and so do I.  My humans make me sit in time out on the couch in the living room.  So humiliating.  At least you get the santuary of your room.  Signed Dog Pound

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Dear Dog Pound – WOW – you do look like you’re in a bit of trouble there my friend.  I have to ask though because I don’t know what you did.  Was it worth it?  Try to stay on the right side of the law my friend.

 

Dear Bacon

 

Dear Bacon – We heard about your mission in life on becoming a Super Hero and wanting a cape.  I think me and my brother will start a petition for you.  With enough signatures, I think we can get your mom to get you at least dressed for the occasion.  Super hero powers are something that you are born with.  We’ve read enough of your blog to know that with enough thrust, you can fly.  So, you’re half way there our friend.  Signed Batdog and Robin

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Dear Batdog and Robin – Thanks my friends!  Ya’ll look totally awesome in your outfits.  I am so working on mom for my cape.  I could use all of the help I can get!

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Dear Bacon – Don’t believe everything you read.  Having a cape isn’t always the best thing in the world.  My humans make me wear this cape and then make me sit in the corner.  Why?  Ask me why piggy?  Because I got so excited with my cape that I might have tinkled on the carpet.  What did they expect?  So, they sat me in the corner with my cape on for time out.  How embarrassing!  Take it from me little guy.  Don’t whizzle with excitement.  Signed Super Tinkle

Dear Super Tinkle – I’m so sorry my friend.  That look on your face says everything.  At least they could have removed your cape before putting you in time out.  What super hero gets put in time out?  Having a cape is exciting.  I really can’t tell how I will act.  But, thanks for the heads up to contain myself – whizzle and all.

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Dear Bacon – Be very specific in what you ask for in a cape.  I too always wanted one.  I just should have been a little more specific in the details.  You know like, nothing over my head.  Save that material to cover my goodies.  I mean really.  What super hero is out there with his goodies showing?  I feel like a pervedog.  Help.  Signed Spider Perve

Dear Spider Perve – WOW – thank you so much my little friend.  I really never thought about specifics in my cape.  You are so right.  I really need to be detailed on what I want in a cape.  Okay – nothing on the piggy head but covering the bottom half – got it.  Yeah, you are so right my friend!

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Dear Bacon – Okay, I like turtles and I play with them in my back yard.  Yes, I wanted to be a Super Hero.  Where in the world did I go wrong with my parents?  Why would they dress me like a TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle) and think that was what I wanted in my Super Hero outfit?  Really?  Learn from me pal, have an open conversation with your humans.  Signed Turtle Dog

Dear Turtle Dog – Does it help that you look cute and adorable?  Okay, maybe that doesn’t help but you do.  Personally, I wouldn’t go for the mask but at least your goodies are covered – snorts.  And hey, the shell on your back could be a good thing.  Just think if you fall, you have the comfort of some padding.  I do appreciate the heads up my friend.

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Dear Bacon –  Just remember, Super Hero’s come in all shapes and sizes – not just dogs and cats.  We can ALL be a Super Hero in some fashion.  My humans got it right in my cape.  It actually gives me just a tad bit of room to grow in.  It’s so roomy that I can move.  That’s important when you are doing your ninja kicks.  I hope you get your cape soon my friend.  Fly with Confidence!  Signed Super Piggy

Dear Super Piggy – Thanks my friend.  You are so full of confidence and that really inspires me.  It reminds me of an old saying that my mommy says all of the time, “Bloom where you are planted.”  I guess that could mean us anipals as well, huh?  Keep up the great work my little Super Hero.  Hope to see you flying in the skies soon.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I don’t understand.  I think I need help.  You see.  Every time I smile, my eyes crossed.  I’ve tried holding my face straight.  I’ve tried closing my eyes and opening them at the last minute.  I’ve tried even holding my breath.  Nothing works.  This is the look I get every single time.  What in the world am I doing wrong?  Can you help?  Signed Happy Cross Eyes.

Dear Happy Cross Eyes – You know my friend, sometimes life throws us twists and turns. It’s how we handle these mountains and curves that makes us who we are.  Instead of dwelling on your look, embrace it my friend.  Not everyone can look as happy as you.  I would market that look – just think of your face and smile on coffee cups, calendars, posters – the possibilities are endless – and so is the money.  Make it work my friend. And do me a favor when you hit it big – remember this little oinker that believed in YOU!

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Dear Bacon – Do you need a kiss?  Cause I’m here for YOU my sexy little piggy.  When my human asked me what I wanted to be this year for Halloween, I knew.  A kiss just for YOU.  You help all of these people in the world and I want to help you.  What do you say?  You wanna dress up with me?  Signed Chocolate Kisses

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Dear Chocolate Kisses – What can I say?  That’s a proposition that I just can’t turn down.  And why would I, right?  So I tell you what I’m going to do.  I’m going to get mommy to dress me up as a giant peanut butter cup … cause you know chocolate and peanut butter go together, right?  I’ll keep you posted on my outfit okay.  Until then, Happy Halloween..

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Dear Bacon – There we were hanging out in the house having a great time while the humans were away.  Yaki – he might have drunk too much.  That brother of mine – he can’t hold his milk like he used to do in the old days.  This is how the humans found us.  Of course, they thought exactly what you are thinking, that I was dunking his head in the throne.  Nah, I wouldn’t do that to Yaki.  I was holding his ears back while he was throwing up.  See, I’m the nice guy.  Signed Teri and Yaki

Dear Teri and Yaki – I am shocked and somewhat astonished – perhaps even surprised.  I will admit it.  I did think you were baptizing him in the water.  I was wrong for sure.  That is very nice of you to help your brother out of a bad situation.  I say bravo and well done.  I think you may even get the big brother of the year award..

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Dear Bacon – Aaww crappers!  There I was sunning myself in the open air minding my own business. I must have fell asleep.  I was so warm and content.  Then when I woke up, I was stuck on a rock and was in a hard place.  The water had went down and I literally was wobbling there.  The only thing I could move were my feet and head.  I wobbled forward.  I wobbled backwards.  Finally, I rocked enough that I fell into the water.  Trust me – you don’t want to do this.  Signed Wobbles

Dear Wobbles – oh my friend.  I’m so glad you were finally able to wobble off that rock.  I can just imagine how you would feel stuck there.  And you are right – this pot belly does not want to be stuck on a rock and hard place.  Take care my friends.

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Dear Bacon – Why do humans want to dress us anipals up this time of the year?  Can you answer that for me please.  I mean I get it that they want to dress up, go door to door and have parties.  But, why us anipals?  Why do we have to get pulled in to their hysteria?  Let us stay at home alone and do our thing.  Cause what the humans don’t understand it that we will party our own way, am I right?  Signed Ted in Disguise

Dear Ted in Disguise – AMEN!  You said it perfectly.  Yes I agree that the humans don’t understand that we will celebrate this Halloween holiday in our own right.  Let them go out and do their thing – we will do our thing.  Take for instance me.  This little oinker has worked all month long on my 31 Days of Spook.  By Halloween, I’m going to be exhausted and barely moving.  When the humans go out for the night, I’m hitting the big bed, turning on the big television, setting the Select Comfort to around 65 and that’s where you will find me snoozing and snoring.  Is it Halloween yet?  Have fun on your night my friend.  And let me tell you something – I think you are dressed up enough with those glasses.  I love them!

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’ve made a grave mistake.  There was a hole in the back of this contraption.  I crawled in and when I did, it shut closed.  Now I’m stuck… I feel like a squirrel on display for the world to see.  The birds are pointing and laughing at me.  What am I to do?  Help?  Signed Mannequin Squirrel

Dear Mannequin Squirrel – WOW!  What can I say?  You do look awesome with your mannequin display.  I can say perhaps you should enjoy what you can… maybe take a seat and a quick bite of that delightful feed.  By the time you get done with your dinner, maybe the owner of the house will see you in your tight spot and help you out.  If not, can you jump and push the top off for a quick escape?  And don’t worry about the birds pointing and laughing.  Might you remind them that you have plenty of food to eat while you wait unlike them – snorts.

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Dear Bacon – We like to put the warning out there for the humans.  If you cross the metal gates leading into our kingdom, be warned.  You will experience a death like no other from the ankles down.  We may be small and short but we have sharp teeth like a shark.  Just sayin’.  Does your little brother do the same?  Signed Harley and Davidson

Dear Harley and Davidson – Awesome idea my friends.  Truth is in the advertising.  If peeps are dumb enough to cross that warning, their ankles deserve what they get.  And yes.  Houdini has the sharpest teeth that I’ve ever felt.  That’s right – I said felt.  I feel them when he tries to hang off of my piggy tail and swing back and forth like I’m an amusement park.  The little guy has no respect for this pig – he thinks I’m his personal jungle gym.

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Dear Bacon –  Honestly.  I was asleep the entire time that the master was away.  Really I was.  When I woke up, the front room cushions exploded.  I didn’t hear a thing!  Exploded I tell you.  Of course, I’m getting the blame.  But really it wasn’t me.  Signed Lab Shredder

Dear Lab Shredder – Darn those dust bunnies for striking again!  I believe you my friend.  I really do.  Dust bunnies sound cute and look kind of cute but all alone they can be little vultures that wreak havoc all over the house blaming us anipals.  Shakes and shivers from fear.  They can’t be trusted at all.  No way!  I say you need to hunt them down one by one and take care of them.  As far as you getting the blame for this.  If it wasn’t on video and there is nothing concrete showing you did it, I say they have to let you walk my friend.  No evidence means NOT GUILTY.  Lowers my hammer in my court room and says dismissed.

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 Dear Bacon – It’s really not what it looks like.  Me and my friend were playing leap frog.  We see frogs do it all of the time and we thought we would try it.  We turned on the camera and started.  We posted this on Instagram and everyone went crazy saying that we were multi-flying.  No honestly we weren’t.  We were just playing a game.  What do you think?  Signed Doris and Rock

Dear Doris and Rock – Snorts with piggy laughter.  Whatever you kids are calling it this day, sure.  Just be safe my friends.

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – There.  I’m ready for Winter.  Bring it on Mother Nature.  I’m ready to get rid of the heat and welcome the cooler weather.  My scarf is ready and I’m waiting.  Tap.tap.tap.  That’s my paws tapping while I’m waiting.  When is this winter suppose to get here pal?  Signed Scarf Dog

Dear Scarf Dog – Oh my friend.  I agree with you about weather.  And you do look so very sharp in your scarf – you will be ready for it when Mother Nature decides to play nice.  Now, we have had some cooler days and I can tell with my piggy senses that it’s coming.  But winter is still a far piece away.  Autumn will be here September 23.  Winter is not officially here until December December 21.  So we do have some time.  But Autumn does bring cooler weather too.  And this little oinker can’t wait!  Until then, stay cool my friend.

 

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Dear Bacon – Sometimes you just need a sleep buddy to hold on to to keep the nightmares away.  It’s always better knowing someone is there for you.  Do you have a sleep buddy?  Signed Ginger Twins

Dear Ginger Twins – I think that’s a fabulous idea my friends.  Mom and dad go to sleep holding hands.  They say that otters do the same thing so they don’t float away from each other in the water.  You see, lots of anipals do this and I do believe it’s a wonderful way to fall off to sleep knowing someone has your paw.  Sometimes I sleep with mom/dad and get close to them.  Other times, Houdini or Mouse Girl will bunk with me and lay real close.

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Dear Bacon – It’s not bad enough that I have to wear the cone of shame.  Oh no.  I should have known something was up when my human dad wanted to hold me for a second.  I could feel him doing something to my cone of shame but didn’t know what.  That is until I met up with the mirror and saw his creation.  Really dad?  Perhaps I should get you a cone of shame?  Signed Bat Cat

Dear Bat Cat – I have to admit it my friend but that cone of shame is priceless.  How many other purr things do you know that can say their cone of shame was made just for them.  I say wear it with pride and hey give your human daddy some slack.  His creativity could make you ‘the cat’ of the neighborhood.  Give it a test and see what I mean.  Others will be so jealous!

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Dear Bacon – Okay I let the humans sleep in on the weekend.  I didn’t pounce on them and wake them up.  I showed respect and refrained from barking my head off.  But this is where I draw the line.  It is now noon and my bowl is empty.  I’m going to start wasting away soon without my food.  Darn these paws.  If I had fingers, I could get my own food out of the bag and refrigerator.  Humans – WAKE UP.  Signed Hungry Jack

Dear Hungry Jack – WOW – noon huh?  That is total control on your part my friend.  Perhaps pull the humans blankets off of them?  They will wake up quickly with that.  And this picture is priceless for them.  Perhaps email or text it to their magical cell phones.  They wake up pretty quick when those things ring too.  Hope you get fed soon 🙂

 

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – What?  Us reindeer can’t make a living only working one time a year at Christmas.  So what do we do for part time gigs?  Well I myself go from flea market to flea market taking pictures with the humans. Sometimes just for fun, I’ll stick my tongue out.  For some reasons, the humans love that.  Hey – it’s a living in between working for the fat dude.  Signed Donner

Dear Donner – You know I really never did think about what ya’ll did for the rest of the year.  I guess you would have to make some money during the year.  And hey, why not stick your tongue out?  I bet you make more money doing that, right?  Way to go my friend.  If you are ever near these parts, stop in for some treats.

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Dear Bacon – What has been seen can not now be unseen.  Why do the humans think they can run naked throughout the house when other humans are not around?  Are we not considered family?  Nobody wants to see that – put some clothes on.  And let me just say, just because other humans aren’t around, we don’t want to smell your farts either.  My gosh – what was that a motor boat??  Signed Shocked

Dear Shocked – WOW – it must have been a vision that can not be erased from your memory.  The look on your face tells me everything. And the run by motor boat, it had to be your dad, wasn’t it?  Shakes piggy head.  My dad does that too and then tries to blame it on me when mom walks in the room.  Dude, they ought to bottle that stuff up for hazardous materials!

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 Dear Bacon – For some reason, I don’t think that humans are suppose to get up and then fall over.  I saw my mistress working at her desk, stand up and then fall over and go boom.  Her eyes were shut and everything.  I just sat here and watched… and waited.  Is it normal?  Do you humans just get tired like this?  Signed Watcher

Dear Watcher – Shakes head no.  I don’t think that is normal my friend.  Did she finally get up?  Maybe she was looking at the family budget.  Sometimes my dad’s eyes will roll to the back of his head when he looks at the budget at the end of the month.  Yeah – maybe that’s it.  For some reasons, numbers do that to humans.  I don’t get it either.  I mean what’s to budget for?  Just our food is important.

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Dear Bacon – What?  Haven’t you ever seen a kangaroo with his rabbit?  This is my buddy Hopper – he’s my pal.  He never talks back and goes everywhere I do.  Sure my friends talk about me behind my back but they’re just jealous.  Don’t you have a friend too?  Signed Hopper Times Two

Dear Hopper Times Two – Who are other people to judge?  If you want Hopper around with you all of the time, so be it.  I have little friends around the Hotel Thompson that I count as my friends.  It’s no different.  You be your own kangaroo and don’t worry about what people say behind your back.  They are just jealous that they don’t have a close friend like yours.  Hop on and take care!

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Dear Bacon – I’m just a sexy little feline trying to pay her way through cat school.  They only way I can make some money is buy working the poles.  I practice at home on the legs to any table I can find at home during the day.  Then at night, I hit the club and work my magic.  What do you think about this move?  Sexy enough for you?  Signed Magic Kitty

Dear Magic Kitty – Well, um, what can I say?  You have the moves like Jagger?  You can get into positions that I’ve never seen before.  But I gotta ask…. where do they put the money?

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 Dear Bacon – My mother thinks I’m always too mean towards my little brother and that I need to show him how much I really love him.  I can do that, I said, so I decided to give him this great big hug.  Do you believe he had the nerve to stick his tongue out at me and tell Mommy I was still being mean to him?  Apparently hugging gets you put in time out these days…. it’s not fair, I tell you!  Signed Cat Hugger

Dear Cat Hugger – You hugged him and still got time out?  The nerve of your human.  I mean look at the little guy – he is sticking his tongue out at you?  What about that?  Did your humans not see that?  You being all nice and him showing you the tongue.  I say this means war… of course don’t get caught again – snorts

 

 

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Sometimes I smell things.  And then I see things.  No, i’m not a ghost.  You see it seems like the yard next to me has it going on with Stacy’s mom.  She’s always grilling and hanging out near the pool.  I just want to go over and play.  The other day, the laughter and the smells were so wonderful.  I stuck my head under the gate to see what was taking place.  I wasn’t really stuck but I acted like it to get everyone’s attention.  They came to the gate and invited me over.  What a party!  Signed Pup of the Party

Dear Pup of the Party – Hey dude, it sounds like you had the plan for the party.  You got an invite – I knew you would with that cute little grin.  Now go and play like a good fellow – tell Stacy’s mom I said hey.

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Dear Bacon – My master likes to play in the yard and work the ground for a garden.  Rolls my doggy eyes.  I’ll help to a certain point – especially when he is planting the watermelon.  Who doesn’t love watermelon, right?  This is me helping my master out by holding his tools.  And I always say safety first – wear a hat to keep the sun out of your face.  Signed Garden Patch

Dear Garden Patch – Hey my friend I like the way you think.  Maybe your master should give my mom some lessons on growing watermelons.  I love those big balls of wonder.  They are so tasty – I even like eating the rind.  Licks piggy lips.  Now look what you have done.  My miniature pot-belly is rumbling for the hungry of a watermelon.  Maybe its not too late in the stores for mom to pick me up one?  I love you being a helping paw.  I think the humans could use more of them.  Take care my friend – happy gardening.

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Dear Bacon – You *always* have that one sibling that can’t keep their tongue out of your ear.  Purrs in aggravation.  Dory has been ‘grooming’ my ear now for twenty minutes.  Can you please make her go away?  If I screech at her, she’ll run to mommy that I’m not playing nice.  Girls – eeww.  Signed Marlin

Dear Marlin – Girls.  That’s all you had to say my friend.  You can’t live with them and you definitely can’t live without them.  You have nerves of steel to let your sister Dory bother you for that long.  Hopefully, it will be over soon.  If not, perhaps you can stretch and tell her you need a bathroom break.  Just a thought!

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Dear Bacon – I am not amused.  Really, I’m not.  The human insisted that I needed a bath.  I could have done my own thank you very much.  But no – the human wanted to give me one.  Help me.  That’s all I gotta say and I’m thinking my look says it all.  Signed Cat in a Shower Cap

Dear Cat in a Shower Cap – Well, wait a minute I need to get a straight face for this, you look all nice and clean.  How ironical that your mom picked out a Tweety Bird towel for you.  It’s kind of fitting.  And that shower cap – OMP – perfect.  No sense in getting water in those cute little perky ears.  Go with it my friend.

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Dear Bacon –  Some people use dowsing rods to find paranormal activity.  I don’t need those.  Some people even use a sixth sense to find paranormal activity.  I don’t need those either.  Heck, I don’t need to find anything paranormal.  I just need to find food.  And let me tell you, with these ears of mine I can find all of the food I want.  They lead me and I follow.  There’s much to appreciate in letting your ears lead you.  Signed Food on the Run

Dear Food on the Run – I say let it be my friend – let it be!  Lead on to the food and pig out!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Listen fellow swine.  How do you get it made so easily?  I live outside.  I don’t get my own room in the house.  Heck, the closest I get to the house is what they call a dog house.  I don’t get air conditioning or room service…let alone turn down service at night with bedtime stories.  Tell me pig – tell me how you got all that.  Signed Bushwhacked

Dear Bushwhacked – I’m sorry little dude.  My adopted parents didn’t have children and wanted a baby to nurture.  They picked me.  It was the best choice they could have made.  Some of us just get lucky that way.  You have nice things too.  You get to run and play outside and roll in the mud.  It’s not all luxury at Hotel Thompson.  I have to take weekly baths – can you imagine?!  I also have to live with 2 cats.  You think I got it made – those things think they rule the roost here.  I have to keep them in line.  Hang in there dude.  The grass is not always greener on the other side of the railroad tracks.

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Dear Bacon – Welcome to the wild side.  I’m a wild crab.  I like to party.  I like to boogey.  What say you come to the beach and let your wild side down for a change.  Signed Crabby Cakes.

Dear Crabby Cakes – Uumm, no.  You really shouldn’t smoke dude.  It stunts your growth.  Look at yourself in the mirror.  Thanks for the offer though.  I respect your lifestyle.  I’m just not a party pig.

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Dear Bacon – I hear you talking about your two purr brothers all of the time.  I would love to meet them.  They could take Catarate with me.  This is one of my moves that won me a medal at the CatOlympics.  I could probably even teach you a couple of new tricks.  Signed Catarate the Puss

Dear Catarate the Puss – Never underestimate my two purr brothers, especially Hemi.  I think they would definitely enjoy your classes.  I just don’t think *I’m* ready for the outcome of those classes… if you know what I mean.  Congratulations on your medal at the CatOlympics.  Keep up the hard work.  By the way, I’m digging your outfit.

 

❤ Snorts with piggy laughter ❤

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Dear Bacon – I’m a heavy metal squirrel rocker.  Down to my squirrel collar and earring.  I’m bad to the bone.  When I’m in the neighborhood hunting nuts, people just hand them over to me.  That’s how bad I am.  Maybe we can come up with a look for you little man.  What do you think – punk pig?  Signed Punk Squirrel

Dear Punk Squirrel – Okay, I’ve seen it all now.  I do appreciate your Mohawk.  I sport one myself from time to time.  As for the ear ring – I leave those to mom.  The squirrel collar, I don’t care for.  I don’t like anything around my neck.  My mom learned that a long time ago.  The look is cute though.  You can lose the cigarette and still look punking.  Why burn down your home in the tree with all of that smoke?  Rock on!

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – We love to battle. We were made to battle. We’re actually pets too and not food. People don’t look at us as cute but we actually do have a sense of humor. We may not be cuddle buddies but people do look at us with this wondrous look on their face. Signed Lobster Buds

Dear Lobster Buds – I hate to be the piggy of bad news. That wondrous look is probably people salivating at the thought of you in their belly. I know I had my moment. People have a lot if different pets. Perhaps a bit of advice? Drop the utensils in battle. You’re just giving people ideas… Like you come with eating utensils.

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Dear Bacon – I was watching a nature show at the zoo. What? Of course bears watch television. Anyway, it was about frogs. I’m fascinated on everything about them. I especially like the way they sit. I think it’s awesome. I also think I have perfected it. What do you think? Signed Crouching Frog Bear

Dear Crouching Frog Bear – Perhaps you need to change that channel to Dr Phil, Dr Oz or some other doctor show. You’re a bear. Bears are suppose to be … well bears not frogs. If you want to play frog, do it after the zoo closes. While the zoo is open, let your inner bear shine.

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Dear Bacon – Me and my friend Bird have a wonderful game that we play. He comes down from the majestic sky, we grab on to each other and then I kitty dive. It’s a blast! We have so much fun. Next time you’re in town, come fly with us. Signed Flying Puss

Dear Flying Puss – Hey if this is your favorite pastime and you two trust each other, go for it. As far as flying pig, I’ll pass. There are downfalls to me flying. One thing, I weigh a lot more. Another thing, I think others world look at me as food. 🙂 happy flying.