RSS

Tag Archives: alligator

Dear Bacon

20140330-183817.jpg

Dear Bacon – Listen the water is fine my four legged pot bellied piggy.  Why don’t you come for a swim with me.  I’ll even teach you how to swim under the water.  I’m sure you will catch on fast.  What do you think?  Signed Mr. Friendly

Dear Mr. Friendly – Not that I don’t appreciate your well… friendness but I think I’ll pass.  For some reason, I think it’s better for this little oinker to stay on dry land, far away from the water and far, far away from your swimming lessons. Call it a premonition if you will.

But, carry on my friend and thank you… really.


20140330-183825.jpgDear Bacon – The nerve of our family vet.  Can you believe that (A) they had the nerve to come near my captains quarters with that proby thing and (B) they told my humans that *I* needed to go on a DIET?!  What in the world was he thinking?  Don’t my humans pay for his sound advice?  What kind of crap advice is this?  I think the look on my face tells you everything I think.  Signed Tiny

Dear Tiny – Oh dear.  That proby thing is awful.  It must be a torture device from centuries long ago.  Yep, that’s what I think.  And that look on your face.  Oh my.  You are certainly not happy.  And well… looks down at my pot belly.  I am one NOT to give any advice to you on that four lettered dirty word – D.I.E.T.  Shakes head – nope.

Not the one to do that at all my friend.


20140330-183833.jpg

Dear Bacon – I see you – purr snicker.  I have my eyes on your activities good or bad.  I’m reporting back to that Evil Elf of yours Don Juan.  You just wait.  You’re going to get it when he comes out in November.  Signed The Watcher

Dear The Watcher – Really?!  It’s not bad enough that I have rogue elf that watches my every move, you’re going to as well?  Rolls piggy eyes and walks away.  This is so not fair in this oinker’s life.  Can’t we all just get along?  Snorts


20140330-183847.jpgDear Bacon – I hate it when I get into trouble here at my casa.  Can you believe that my humans make me face the couch and sit here in time out?  It’s so humiliating.  Signed Unhappy Pooch

Dear Unhappy Pooch – WOW my friend.  That is some look you have there facing your tomb of doom.  It’s just not right.  And to put you in this time out right in the middle of the living room where you can hear and see all of the fun activities going on around you.  Shakes piggy head and clicks tongue.  Nope, just not right.  I’m sorry pal.  Maybe when you come out of serving your time, you just ignore those humans.  Show them who is getting timeout there.  Don’t give them any affection.

None whatsoever… can you last like what five seconds?  Hang in there my bud!


Dear Bacon – 20140330-183858.jpgI double kitty dare you to try this maneuver.  Heck, I triple meow dare you.  I dare you to put your back legs up over your head.  In fact if you can do this position, I will personally come over every day and give you a piggy massage – heck I’ll even clean up your room for you.  Signed Fear Factor Feline

Dear Fear Factor Feline – Really?!  That’s okay my furry friend.  That’s what I have my mommy for – massages and cleaning – snorts.  Let’s hope that cannon of yours doesn’t go off while you are bent legs over head.

Advertisements
 
13 Comments

Posted by on 06/19/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dear Bacon

20140330-183817.jpg

Dear Bacon – Listen the water is fine my four legged pot bellied piggy.  Why don’t you come for a swim with me.  I’ll even teach you how to swim under the water.  I’m sure you will catch on fast.  What do you think?  Signed Mr. Friendly

Dear Mr. Friendly – Not that I don’t appreciate your well… friendness but I think I’ll pass.  For some reason, I think it’s better for this little oinker to stay on dry land, far away from the water and far, far away from your swimming lessons. Call it a premonition if you will.  But, carry on my friend and thank you… really.


20140330-183833.jpgDear Bacon – I see you – purr snicker.  I have my eyes on your activities good or bad.  I’m reporting back to that Evil Elf of yours Don Juan.  You just wait.  You’re going to get it when he comes out in November.  Signed The Watcher

Dear The Watcher – Really?!  It’s not bad enough that I have rogue elf that watches my every move, you’re going to as well?  Rolls piggy eyes and walks away.  This is so not fair in this oinker’s life.  Can’t we all just get along?  Snorts


 

20140330-183825.jpgDear Bacon – The nerve of our family vet.  Can you believe that (A) they had the nerve to come near my captains quarters with that proby thing and (B) they told my humans that *I* needed to go on a DIET?!  What in the world was he thinking?  Don’t my humans pay for his sound advice?  What kind of crap advice is this?  I think the look on my face tells you everything I think.  Signed Tiny

Dear Tiny – Oh dear.  That proby thing is awful.  It must be a torture device from centuries long ago.  Yep, that’s what I think.  And that look on your face.  Oh my.  You are certainly not happy.  And well… looks down at my pot belly.  I am one NOT to give any advice to you on that four lettered dirty word – D.I.E.T.  Shakes head – nope.  Not the one to do that at all my friend.


20140330-183858.jpg

Dear Bacon – I double kitty dare you to try this maneuver.  Heck, I triple meow dare you.  I dare you to put your back legs up over your head.  In fact if you can do this position, I will personally come over every day and give you a piggy massage – heck I’ll even clean up your room for you.  Signed Fear Factor Feline

Dear Fear Factor Feline – Really?!  That’s okay my furry friend.  That’s what I have my mommy for – massages and cleaning – snorts.  Let’s hope that cannon of yours doesn’t go off while you are bent legs over head.


 

20140330-183847.jpgDear Bacon – I hate it when I get into trouble here at my casa.  Can you believe that my humans make me face the couch and sit here in time out?  It’s so humiliating.  Signed Unhappy Pooch

Dear Unhappy Pooch – WOW my friend.  That is some look you have there facing your tomb of doom.  It’s just not right.  And to put you in this time out right in the middle of the living room where you can hear and see all of the fun activities going on around you.  Shakes piggy head and clicks tongue.  Nope, just not right.  I’m sorry pal.  Maybe when you come out of serving your time, you just ignore those humans.  Show them who is getting timeout there.  Don’t give them any affection.  None whatsoever… can you last like what five seconds?  Hang in there my bud!

 
14 Comments

Posted by on 06/06/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Image

Jokes with Anipals

 
13 Comments

Posted by on 09/25/2016 in Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m not sure about you but my accountant really bites.  He’s got a bad attitude and is always thinking numbers.  I don’t get it.  Why can’t accountants have pleasant personalities – maybe joke around a bit.  I think that would really show a better enthusiasm for their job.  I mean we are talking about my money, it may not be a lot but it is mine.  I thought I would show you a pic of my guy.  I have to admit though, he’s good.  He chomps down and sets to work on that keyboard.  He looks for everything he can find to deduct.  If you ever need a good accountant, let me know okay.  Signed Frogger

Dear Frogger – Well my, my, my.  Your ‘guy’ does look very – how can I say it – professional in what he does. I see what you mean by his serious look.  He does have a stern don’t mess with me kind of disposition.  Maybe the numbers bring it out in him?  Maybe bring him a gift next time – some swamp water or some Lubriderm lotion.  I’ve heard that lotion does wonders for tough skin.


Dear Bacon –  My favorite time of the day is in this picture.  It’s early morning and it’s breakfast time!  They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.  Trust me.  It is.  And you know what.  Milk does a body good.  My little legs will grow strong and my ‘moo’ will be coming out soon.  Cause you know what they say?  You got to moo-moo it.  HA!  I made a funny.  I told you breakfast is important – it starts my day like awesome.  Signed Tina

Dear Tina – Shaking my head.  You are right.  Breakfast is very important not to miss in starting your day.  That’s why every day, I start off with my piggy chow and Cheerios.  I gotta keep my figure in check and my cholesterol down.  This piggy has places to travel!

 

 


Dear Bacon  – Don’t you hate it when uninvited solicitors show up at your door?  Take for instance, I was settled down reading my magazines and newspaper.  You know the typical Sunday leisure day.  Then Bob showed up selling God only knows what.  I told him I wasn’t interested in and he kept on roaring.  How rude!  I finally just had to turn and walk away.  Maybe he got the hint then.  Geez, some anipals huh?  Signed Tigger

Dear Tigger – Please don’t send Bob my way.  It’s bad enough when solicitors come into our hood.  They don’t even come to our crib anymore.  Too many times they have showed up and after seeing moi answer the door, they got scared and turned away.  I don’t get it.  I was just in the doorway with daddy answering the door.  Who cares that he was wearing his Sponge Bob underwear.  Shakes head.


 

Dear Bacon – Be glad that you don’t have a desk job little piggy.  In this picture, it was a Friday at 4:45 pm – almost time for the weekend to start.  The head guy showed up in my doorway and wanted a report that was going to take at least an hour to finish and he needed it that night.  WTD?  Really?  You waited all day to tell me this at 4:45 pm?  Shakes dog head – some people have no tact.  Signed Bruiser

Dear Bruiser – OMP!  I so understand.  Mom has been done this way a time or two.  I’ll tell you what I tell her when she calls and tells us she is going to be late.  It sucks and it’s unfair!  I hope you got some overtime for staying over my friend.


Remember my friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without *you*.  Please continue to email me your letters and pictures ❤ 

 
20 Comments

Posted by on 07/05/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

May I Introduce Nana’s New Pet…. Alligator

You see a couple of weeks ago when mom/dad were running loose on Tybee Island, they came across an egg.  A little egg.  Mom said no one was looking so she and dad picked up the egg and took it to Nana.  What could possibly go wrong, right?

So mom gave the strange egg to Nana.  Nana was excited… until she got up one day to find the egg cracked and a mysterious creature was then running wild in her home.  She searched under the couch, in the bedrooms, in the closets, all over you might as well say.  Nana didn’t know what to expect when she found this creature.

Then Nana went into the kitchen to wash her dishes and what did she find?!  An ALLIGATOR sitting in one of her bowls.  OMP!  Nana has a pet alligator?  She was so excited and was on the verge of making birth announcements when mom just happen to show up at her house with Ace Ventura on speed dial.  The gator was so cute – Nana didn’t want to give him up.  So she named him Ralphie and made him a permanent home in her house.  Let’s just hope that she doesn’t get bored with him and flush him down the toilet.  

 
37 Comments

Posted by on 06/15/2016 in Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon –  No.  That’s right No.  Our doorbell rung in the middle of the day.  We weren’t expecting anyone so mom looked out the peep hole.  She didn’t see anyone.  We all sat back down and again the doorbell rung once again.  Mom went to the door, looked out the peep hole and nothing.  So she opened the door… of course keeping the security chain on the door.  Then mom squealed – I’m sure she squealed louder than you.  This is what she saw.  What in the world?  He wanted to borrow a cup of chicken – as if.  Mom told him that she wasn’t the local Kroger and to take a hike.  Have you ever had guests like this wanting to borrow food?  Signed Uninvited Guests

Dear Uninvited Guests – Oh dear piggy heavens have mercy!  Now we all believe in neighborly hospitality here at the Hotel Thompson.  Journalist Rocky the Squirrel often knocks on our back door asking for a cup of nuts.  And once, the neighbor asked to borrow a cup of milk.  But *never* have we had such a guest wanting a cup of chicken.  Did your friend leave?  I mean who you goin’ to call in this circumstance?  Be safe my friend – and keep that door LOCKED.


 Dear Bacon – I scored BIG time for Christmas.  I asked Jolly St. Nick for a cool pair of bunny slippers.  And let me tell you something, he delivered!!  I am jumping all over my crib in bun-bun delight.  Aren’t they the cutest things you have ever seen my friend?  Signed Bunny Times Two

Dear Bunny Times Two – You are *almost* right my sweet dear friend.  Those slippers are *almost* as cute as you.  I think you are pretty darn cute to begin with and YOU make those slippers even cuter.  Wear them with pride and stay warm my little friend!

 


 Dear Bacon – I’m sorry.  I couldn’t wait and had to go.  And I hear my mom tell my dad all of the time, “Better out than in.”  I think this is what she was meaning.  I’m sorry.  But what better way says I’m sorry than to leave my poo in a heart shape, right?  Surely mom wouldn’t be upset over that on your new rug… you know of course add in my pleading don’t-be-made look.  What do you think?  Signed You Gotta Go – You Gotta Go

Dear You Gotta Go – Well dear, my mom says there is no way she would be mad if I made that mistake and left something in a heart shape.  Like you said, sometimes crap happens.  Keep being cute and give mom extra snuggles today – she will forgive you.


 Dear Bacon – You see, we got new neighbors over the weekend.  We heard that she’s a cute little poodle.  We were just trying to take a peak and see.  That’s when our master caught us.  Can you say busted?  Signed Caught in the Act

Dear Caught in the Act – One question my friends.  Did you see her?  Was it worth it?  Why have you not gone over with some biscuits and welcomed her to the hood.  I think that would be a grand gesture from the both of you.  You know, meet her first before anyone else does.  Let me know how it works.


 Dear Bacon –  No one and I mean no one will ever be this cool.  How cool?  Me a mere lizard standing on some good stuff in a posture that just screams, “I’m the lacertilia!”  Ha!  Now, I need to pour me another and get this party started!  Signed Fred

Dear Fred – Well I must say you do know how to party my friend.  And well I have to admit.  I did have to look up the word lacertilia to see what it meant – snorts with piggy laughter.  You are one of few words.  Loved it my friend.  Now remember something important.  Don’t drink and drive.  Stay home to party and keep it at home.  Have a great time and oh – don’t forget my invitation.  But I’ll take some koolaid on ice – no alcohol in mine okay.

.


REMEMBER my friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please remember to keep sending me your letters and pictures via my email.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on 12/29/2015 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Alligator Mosquito

  That’s right I said it – ALLIGATOR MOSQUITO.  Here in the south, we have large vultures that we call mosquito’s.  But this year, it seems worse.  These little vultures seem like alligators and are very aggressive in nature.  I’m tired of them.  I think they need to go somewhere else and bug someone else.

Heck, mommy says that instead of sucking blood – why can’t they suck fat?  By the way they have been acting lately, she would be a size zero!

 
25 Comments

Posted by on 08/08/2015 in Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,