Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m getting too old to be the party dog in the crowd.  My friends are trying to have an intervention with me and took this picture.  I really didn’t think I had gotten that bad but pictures don’t lie, right?  Between the beer and the shots of tequila, I was out for the night.  I guess it’s time for me to reach out for help.  What do you suggest?  Signed Boozer

Dear Boozer – You are right my little friend.  Admission is the first step and you have taken that step in the right direction.  There are group meetings that you can attend in your area with AAA (Anipal Alcoholic Anonymous).  Make that phone call my friend and good luck with your recovery.

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Dear Bacon – The big thing right now is to Netflix and chill.  I’m all for it.  This is me watching my favorite movie Willard.  If you haven’t seen it, you must watch it.  It’s amazing.  And of course no movie is perfect without the snack of some cheese.  What’s your favorite movie to chill?  Signed Will Jr

Dear Will Jr – Well my friend.  I looked up your movie.  It is what shall I say intriguing for sure.  My favorite movie lately is My Brother the Pig.  This is also an amazing movie.  And I like to watch it with snacks as well – my favorite is popcorn.  You keep chilling little guy!

 

 

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Dear Bacon – Cheap labor.  That’s what I call this.  Our human has a lawn service and dude he puts us to work for kibbles.  We all have our assigned duties from leaf blower, raking and working the riding lawn mower.  It’s unheard of but it does make for some interesting looks when the humans drive by.  I’m hoping that one of the neighborhood ladies will take notice of our skills.  What do you think – we got a chance?  Signed Canine Lawn Care

Dear Canine Lawn Care – Hey, if you were in my hood, I would definitely hire you for sure my friends.  However you get the job done, that’s key in my book.  And once the ladies notice your working skills and the kibbles that you are bringing in, they will have to take numbers at your front door.  Be safe!

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 Dear Bacon –  Look dude, it was a spider on the ground.  I don’t do spiders.  Nope, not at all.  And it was gigantic.  There was no way I was staying on the ground with that monster.  And those humans – they just walked around it like it was nothing.  They are the strangest people.  You afraid of those creepy crawlers too, right?  Signed Spastic

Dear Spastic – Let me get this right.  You are afraid of spiders but not height.  That’s amazing.  And what’s more amazing is that the humans are just walking by without a care not even paying you any attention.  WOW.  Too bad you can’t act like a bird and drop a little something if you know what I mean – snorts with piggy laughter.  I do understand your arachnophobia.  I myself don’t like the little pests with all of those legs either.  No one blames you for that.  Just be careful getting down off that limb okay bro.

 

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Dear Bacon – Look at me – I’m a turtle.  Barks!  Okay maybe not a turtle.  Maybe a cute little pooch. Yep that’s who I am – a cute little pooch.  My human is always dressing me up different ways.  I say go for it because they always give me great treats in return.  Do your humans make you do anything stupid for treats?  Signed Michaelangelo

Dear Michaelangelo – Once my mom put me near a carton of eggs and took my picture.  She said I was the bacon and eggs in its original form.  I don’t get it but mom/dad got a great laugh out of it.  And like you as well – I got great treats.  So hey, if it doesn’t hurt us then I say wear it with pride.