Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m getting too old to be the party dog in the crowd.  My friends are trying to have an intervention with me and took this picture.  I really didn’t think I had gotten that bad but pictures don’t lie, right?  Between the beer and the shots of tequila, I was out for the night.  I guess it’s time for me to reach out for help.  What do you suggest?  Signed Boozer

Dear Boozer – You are right my little friend.  Admission is the first step and you have taken that step in the right direction.  There are group meetings that you can attend in your area with AAA (Anipal Alcoholic Anonymous).  Make that phone call my friend and good luck with your recovery.

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Dear Bacon – The big thing right now is to Netflix and chill.  I’m all for it.  This is me watching my favorite movie Willard.  If you haven’t seen it, you must watch it.  It’s amazing.  And of course no movie is perfect without the snack of some cheese.  What’s your favorite movie to chill?  Signed Will Jr

Dear Will Jr – Well my friend.  I looked up your movie.  It is what shall I say intriguing for sure.  My favorite movie lately is My Brother the Pig.  This is also an amazing movie.  And I like to watch it with snacks as well – my favorite is popcorn.  You keep chilling little guy!

 

 

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Dear Bacon – Cheap labor.  That’s what I call this.  Our human has a lawn service and dude he puts us to work for kibbles.  We all have our assigned duties from leaf blower, raking and working the riding lawn mower.  It’s unheard of but it does make for some interesting looks when the humans drive by.  I’m hoping that one of the neighborhood ladies will take notice of our skills.  What do you think – we got a chance?  Signed Canine Lawn Care

Dear Canine Lawn Care – Hey, if you were in my hood, I would definitely hire you for sure my friends.  However you get the job done, that’s key in my book.  And once the ladies notice your working skills and the kibbles that you are bringing in, they will have to take numbers at your front door.  Be safe!

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 Dear Bacon –  Look dude, it was a spider on the ground.  I don’t do spiders.  Nope, not at all.  And it was gigantic.  There was no way I was staying on the ground with that monster.  And those humans – they just walked around it like it was nothing.  They are the strangest people.  You afraid of those creepy crawlers too, right?  Signed Spastic

Dear Spastic – Let me get this right.  You are afraid of spiders but not height.  That’s amazing.  And what’s more amazing is that the humans are just walking by without a care not even paying you any attention.  WOW.  Too bad you can’t act like a bird and drop a little something if you know what I mean – snorts with piggy laughter.  I do understand your arachnophobia.  I myself don’t like the little pests with all of those legs either.  No one blames you for that.  Just be careful getting down off that limb okay bro.

 

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Dear Bacon – Look at me – I’m a turtle.  Barks!  Okay maybe not a turtle.  Maybe a cute little pooch. Yep that’s who I am – a cute little pooch.  My human is always dressing me up different ways.  I say go for it because they always give me great treats in return.  Do your humans make you do anything stupid for treats?  Signed Michaelangelo

Dear Michaelangelo – Once my mom put me near a carton of eggs and took my picture.  She said I was the bacon and eggs in its original form.  I don’t get it but mom/dad got a great laugh out of it.  And like you as well – I got great treats.  So hey, if it doesn’t hurt us then I say wear it with pride.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – We are the Bark Crew.  We do spare jobs around the house and inside of the house.  We have extra paws so we are good at electrical and tile work.  You have work – we need the job.  So can you spread the word?  Signed Bark Crew

Dear Bark Crew – Now that’s what I’m talking about.  Anipals for anipals and getting the job done.  Can you give me a few references to also share?  I’m sure the dads around the houses will love someone else helping with their Honey Do lists for sure!

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 Dear Bacon – The humans went out for their date night and this is my time for Netflix and Chill.  Yeah, I no humans do it a little different but what can I say.  I’m an anipal that has an incentive – booze, cheeze-its and dog movies.  Look at the woof on that pooch on screen!  That’s what I’m talking about.  SIgned Chilling

Dear Chilling – Hey dude – I like how you think. The next time your humans go out, give me a call and we will make a party of it.  I know of a few anipals we could invite.  While the humans are away – we can live it up with some Jamison!

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Dear Bacon – We just want you to know the truth.  When the song Bad Boys comes on and asks what you going to do – think of us.  We are undercover canines for the police department.  Sorry we can’t show you our faces – we’re undercover dude.  But we are always working and on the job – heck we could be in your hood and you would never know.  If you did, we wouldn’t be doing our job, right?  So carry on little pig and don’t worry – we are here to protect you!  Signed Undercover

Dear Undercover – Squeals with piggy delight.  DUDES!  I so wanna go undercover too.  I just know I could be a undercover pig.  I mean who would expect a pig, right?  I know I have the skills – I just know it.  Do you think I could shadow ya’ll one day in a ride along?  Just let me know and I’ll be there.  Be safe out there on those mean streets!

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Dear Bacon – Times are tough these days.  My humans are barely making it work so I told them I would help out and get a job to make some of that green stuff.  So I did what any good standing pooch would do.  Hello – I’m your Uber driver 🙂  They will hire anyone as long as you have a car and know the streets.  And what better anipal to fit that criteria but me.  So hit me up if you need a ride.  I keep water and dog biscuits in the back set for your pleasure.  Thanks bunches.  Signed Cliff

Dear Cliff – Yo dude you should be racking in the money with your set up.  You have wheels, you are dressed business like and yes I do believe you that you know the streets.  And every good Uber driver has perks in the back seats for their pick ups – yours are righteous!  I will pass the information along to my fellow anipals that if they have been out partying too much, to hit you up on Uber from the Smart phones.  You rock dude!

 

 

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Dear Bacon – A dog’s job is never done in the house.  I slave all day to make sure everyone eats.  And you know what?  I have an important questions.  Why does everyone have to eat every day?  I’m always cooking, cleaning, cooking and cleaning.  It never stops.  Just today the little two legged terrors had the munchies and wanted cookies.  Sure, I’m going to do my part while the humans are out of the house.  It is my job to make sure those kids eat and stay out of trouble.  Always busy.  Signed Julia Kid

Dear Julia Kid – I so want to live in your house my friend.  I would love to be your sous chef in that kitchen and help you out… only for food – oinks and snorts.  You’re doing a wonderful job – keep cooking!

 

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❤ Dear Friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please keep emailing me your pictures and letters.  ❤

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m getting too old to be the party dog in the crowd.  My friends are trying to have an intervention with me and took this picture.  I really didn’t think I had gotten that bad but pictures don’t lie, right?  Between the beer and the shots of tequila, I was out for the night.  I guess it’s time for me to reach out for help.  What do you suggest?  Signed Boozer

Dear Boozer – You are right my little friend.  Admission is the first step and you have taken that step in the right direction.  There are group meetings that you can attend in your area with AAA (Anipal Alcoholic Anonymous).  Make that phone call my friend and good luck with your recovery.

 

 

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Dear Bacon – The big thing right now is to Netflix and chill.  I’m all for it.  This is me watching my favorite movie Willard.  If you haven’t seen it, you must watch it.  It’s amazing.  And of course no movie is perfect without the snack of some cheese.  What’s your favorite movie to chill?  Signed Will Jr

Dear Will Jr – Well my friend.  I looked up your movie.  It is what shall I say intriguing for sure.  My favorite movie lately is My Brother the Pig.  This is also an amazing movie.  And I like to watch it with snacks as well – my favorite is popcorn.  You keep chilling little guy!

 

 

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Dear Bacon – Cheap labor.  That’s what I call this.  Our human has a lawn service and dude he puts us to work for kibbles.  We all have our assigned duties from leaf blower, raking and working the riding lawn mower.  It’s unheard of but it does make for some interesting looks when the humans drive by.  I’m hoping that one of the neighborhood ladies will take notice of our skills.  What do you think – we got a chance?  Signed Canine Lawn Care

Dear Canine Lawn Care – Hey, if you were in my hood, I would definitely hire you for sure my friends.  However you get the job done, that’s key in my book.  And once the ladies notice your working skills and the kibbles that you are bringing in, they will have to take numbers at your front door.  Be safe!

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 Dear Bacon –  Look dude, it was a spider on the ground.  I don’t do spiders.  Nope, not at all.  And it was gigantic.  There was no way I was staying on the ground with that monster.  And those humans – they just walked around it like it was nothing.  They are the strangest people.  You afraid of those creepy crawlers too, right?  Signed Spastic

Dear Spastic – Let me get this right.  You are afraid of spiders but not height.  That’s amazing.  And what’s more amazing is that the humans are just walking by without a care not even paying you any attention.  WOW.  Too bad you can’t act like a bird and drop a little something if you know what I mean – snorts with piggy laughter.  I do understand your arachnophobia.  I myself don’t like the little pests with all of those legs either.  No one blames you for that.  Just be careful getting down off that limb okay bro.

 

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Dear Bacon – Look at me – I’m a turtle.  Barks!  Okay maybe not a turtle.  Maybe a cute little pooch. Yep that’s who I am – a cute little pooch.  My human is always dressing me up different ways.  I say go for it because they always give me great treats in return.  Do your humans make you do anything stupid for treats?  Signed Michaelangelo

Dear Michaelangelo – Once my mom put me near a carton of eggs and took my picture.  She said I was the bacon and eggs in its original form.  I don’t get it but mom/dad got a great laugh out of it.  And like you as well – I got great treats.  So hey, if it doesn’t hurt us then I say wear it with pride.

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Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without *you*.  Please remember to email me your letters and pictures ❤

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – There is always that one sibling who just never smiles at the right time or large enough for the camera.  Here we are in Summer now and we are trying to get our Christmas cards made – notice lights in the background.  That’s when Stupid doesn’t want to smile.  Finally, I had to crawl on his back to give him a little help.  Shakes my kitty head.  Do you ever have to do the same with your siblings?  Signed CIC (Cat in Charge)

Dear CIC – Shaking my piggy head.  Well I guess that’s one way to do it my friend.  Help out your brother in his smiling for the camera.  I guess you are right about getting those cards done in time for Christmas. Maybe this weekend we can all get together here to get them done in time.  But I have to ask one question my friend.  Tell me that the dog’s name isn’t really Stupid.  Please say no.  Snorts with piggy laughter.

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Dear Bacon –  I really don’t get all of this Netflix and chill stuff.  I mean heck I do it every night.  So can you tell me am I doing it right or wrong?  Signed Stud Muffin

Dear Stud Muffin – Well, it looks like you are doing it right to me.  You are watching Netflix and chilling with your popcorn.  I mean heck, you even have on your house shoes.  You can’t be chilling anymore than that.  And you are watching Netflix on your computer so you can still bounce around on the internet while listening.  Nope, I say that’s it.  Go for it my friend and be happy.

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Dear Bacon – There I was in the house walking around at midnight and I just couldn’t sleep.  That’s when my humans did the most amazing thing.  They bundled me up and took me for a drive to help me sleep.  Within minutes, I was passed out on the stick shift.  What a terrific way to be rocked to sleep.  Signed Twinkle

Dear Twinkle – Oh My Pigs!  That does look amazing and what great parents you have to think of this and to gently rock you to sleep.  That is awesome!  I would say that your humans are definitely keepers in their way of taking care of their anipals.  Just do me a favor okay – don’t drool on the stick shift.

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Dear Bacon – My human mom said she would play fetch with me.  She told me to go get one of my play toys.  Well I couldn’t decide which one to bring back so I did what any other anipal would do – I brought them all so she could pick one to play with.  Don’t you just love it when the humans play fetch with you?  Signed Decisions Too Big

Dear Decisions Too Big – I agree.  That is the only way to play with our toys.  Bring them all out and spread them all over the floor.  That is the way we can be sure which ones we want at the time.

 

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REMEMBER MY FRIENDS – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue sending me your pictures and questions to my email address ♥

 

Dear Bacon

 
Dear Bacon – We are all trying to do everything we can this time of the year to make more money for Christmas.  I’m working on chaperoning humans around that kind of party too much.  Hey, it’s just one of those things of giving and caring you know.  And don’t worry.  Those that I pick up don’t remember me driving them anywhere let alone the money I take out of their wallet – barks!  Signed Duber

Dear Duber – Dude that is an awesome service.  And you are right, no one will remember the great service that you are rendering.  Stay safe my pal and drive between the lines!

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 Dear Bacon – It’s going to get cold soon in these parts.  I gotta make sure we have enough wood for the fireplace to keep the house nice and toasty.  When the humans go to work, so do I!  But don’t worry, safety first with this ax.  Signed Lineman of the County

Dear Lineman of the County – AWESOME!  Bravo – bravo – bravo my friend.  That is some thinking of ahead to make sure you stay warm.  And if the humans stay warm – that means you get more play time and treats.  That is a most excellent idea.

P.S.  You know where I can get some of those boots in a pig size 3?

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Dear Bacon –  Talk about a hart day.  I’m telling you beautiful life is so hard some days keeping up with all of the activities this time of the year.  There’s the hairballs to fuss up.  There’s the dogs to keep in line.  There’s the hiding from the yearly Christmas card that goes out.  There’s the singing at midnight to be scheduled.  There’s the pouncing on the keyboards when the humans want computer time.  Sigh – see – it’s a hard life being this good.  I just want to kick back in my recliner at the end of the day with a glass of wine.  How do you keep your sanity?  Signed Kitty Pinot Noir

Dear Kitty Pinot Noir – WOW – You make happiness look so good my little purr friend.  When you put everything down the way you did, your life is active.  I myself try to take many, MANY naps during the day.  This keeps me sprite and ready for mom when she returns home at the end of the day from her worky place.  Cause we all know that when the homes get home, it’s game time!

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Dear Bacon – It’s that time of the year!  Finally all of the great movies come on television that scream HOLIDAYS.  This is me from over the weekend.  I looked at the television guide that morning and saw that my movie of the season was coming on that night.  Got in my jammies, took out my contacts and had the popcorn ready for my netflix and chill – HOME ALONE.  Dude, can that Kevin scream or what?  I absolutely love that movie.  It just shouts Merry Christmas!!  Signed Dog Alone

Dear Dog Alone – OMP!  That’s one of my mom’s favorites too.  She says it’s not Christmas time until she watches that movie on television.  What a coincidence you two have.  I say go for it my friend and make the holidays happen for you.  I myself love to watch Rudolph every year.  That is my Christmas show to start the season.  Enjoy and be safe!

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REMEMBER my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your letters and pictures to my email.  Thanks!