Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I need some help.  My master continues to dress me in this silly outfit.  I’m not a big fan.  When I wear it and we go out on the town, everyone is really sociable though.

They always say, “Hello Kitty”.  They’re really nice about it.  I on the other hand just can’t stand the outfit and I don’t get it.  What can I do?  Signed – Purr in Distress

Dear Purr in Distress – You don’t get it do you… Hello Kitty?  Do you ever surf the net?  Do you ever google Hello Kitty?

You know what – go for it.  Wear it with pride.  You look really darling and I caught myself saying, “Hheelloo Kkiittyy.”

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Dear Bacon – See, I have talent too.  I love to ride my bicycle around our little village.  People see me rolling – they know I’m hip.  So it’s got training wheels – you gotta start somewhere and I love this thing.

You ever thought about riding a bicycle little pig?  Signed – Hip to the Hop

Dear Hip to the Hop – Have you looked at me lately?  My legs are a little challenged.  My front legs are shorter than my back legs.

My tushy is made for comfort not speed.  I’m not into exercise unless it involves putting food into my mouth.  But, hey more to you dude.  Ride it with pride!

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Dear Bacon – Every morning we get up and look at the window.  It’s our time to sit and reflect with each other.  Here lately, this stupid bird gets right in the window and puts his tail feathers in our faces.  What is up with that?!  What is this birds gone wild or something.  We are minding our own business and this chick has to do this?  What can we do?  Signed – Purr Things of Reflection

Dear Purr Things of Reflection –  You have to admit that’s kind of funny.  You know, I’m not saying ya’ll do, but a lot of purr things chase after birds.  Maybe this bird is “pigeonholing” ya’ll into one little category.  Thank you – I thought that was funny too.  Maybe try a different window in the house.  Maybe try ignoring the bird.  Reflect on my purr things and be the better kitty!

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Dear Bacon – Every morning my adopted father comes out of the shower naked.  I can’t help to look like this every time I see him.  I mean, why would you shower naked?  I don’t take my fur off, do you?  Will this shocked look ever stop?  Signed – My Face May Freeze

Dear  My Face May Freeze – Hang in there little man.  Humans do weird things like that.  My mother likes to sit in the water full of bubbles in the dark with candles.  Now that is strange to me!  Seeing your parent without clothes is natural to them.  Be tough little guy.  It’ll become second nature to you soon.

 

Bacon’s Show and Tell

This month we were to focus on something that happened to you while you were a child.  Something that happened that was funny… perhaps now… but at that time it was your shining what the heck were you thinking moment.  This could have happened to you, your spouse, your children or your parents.  Something that to this day you still can’t forget about without smiling and/or laughing.

This month we are tossing the keyboard to daddy because he has a story of something that happened to him as a child.  With that in mind – here you go daddy!

First up I have to say that this picture is not me.  Really, it’s not. 🙂  I have a cuter butt – ha!  But this picture is actually on a greeting card and gives you a picture of my story.  And friends, you can ask Fozzie.  I can paint a picture – evil HA!

When I was probably the age of this boy, my mom had bought me my very first pair of cowboy boots.  I ❤ those boots.  I wore them everywhere – even to bed.  Well one day, my mom roped me to the side and told me it was time for a bath.  You know how boys are with baths – eeww.  So we have to bring plenty of toys in there to keep us company.  Mom fixed my bath and then left me to my business while she talked on the phone.  That’s when the best idea hit me ever!  I wonder if those cowboy boots were water proof.  So I stumbled down the hall, put my new boots on that I only had for about a week and then jumped back in the tub in all my glory – my birthday suit with my boots.

I then splashed around getting water every.where in the bathroom.  I filled my boots up with water and splashed some more.  Finally mom called me and told me it was time to get out.  So I jumped out in my glory and walked into the front room.  That’s right… in my sloshy cowboy boots that were still filled with water on the hardwood floors and carpet.  It was one of my finer moments in life.  And no contrary to what my beloved says, it wasn’t just last week.

At first, my mom was like what the heck and had the frozen look on her face.  Then her face turned red….and I still say an almost purple look from holding her breath not to cuss.  That’s when she finally said it.  Not the whole name you hear sometimes when you *know* you are in trouble but the, “You just wait until I get a hold of you little man” phrase.  Shivers – that’s scarier than the full name.

So I learned a couple of lessons this day.  #1 – Cowboy boots aren’t water proof.  They were completed ruined from my time in the bathtub and had to be trashed.  #2 – Mom had a beautiful color of purple going on in her face and looked more purple that day than Violet in Willy Wonka.  #3 – Cleaning hardwood floors is hard work.  #4 – Mom had a pretty wicked right hook on my cute little butt that day.

 

Bacon’s Show and Tell

We are back for the next Bacon’s Show and Tell my friends!  

For Bacon’s Show and Tell for November we are focusing on another toy from your childhood.  Something that was one of your favorites that you just absolutely loved.  Share a picture and a story about it.  I’m going to let my mom post about this today – take it away mom.

“Thanks Bacon my boy.  One of my favorite toys growing up was something that was fun, exciting and full of exercise.  We had a pretty big back yard growing up, full of trees and green grass.  One year for Christmas, me and one of my brothers got bicycles.  The all American toy of adventure.  I must have been around eight and up until that point I had never been on one.  Christmas afternoon we convinced our parents to let us go into the backyard to ride them.  Of course, it was winter time but winter time in Georgia is not that bad – most of the time.  This day, it was cold but not uncomfortable.  

So out we went.  I imagined I would jump on my chariot of freedom and ride around like there was no tomorrow – or at least that was the plan.  I jumped on, pedaled at full force and went down a little indention in the back yard.  That’s when it hit me full force.  How the heck do you stop this thing?!  I started screaming about the time I ran straight into a tree at full force.  What the heck.  This thing was suppose to be fun – nothing was ever said about crashing.  So that’s when I was told about breaks and how to stop.  I stood up, shook myself off like the tomboy I was, jumped on and my adventure started all over again… this time with the knowledge of breaks 🙂 “