Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – We are the Bark Crew.  We do spare jobs around the house and inside of the house.  We have extra paws so we are good at electrical and tile work.  You have work – we need the job.  So can you spread the word?  Signed Bark Crew

Dear Bark Crew – Now that’s what I’m talking about.  Anipals for anipals and getting the job done.  Can you give me a few references to also share?  I’m sure the dads around the houses will love someone else helping with their Honey Do lists for sure!

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 Dear Bacon – The humans went out for their date night and this is my time for Netflix and Chill.  Yeah, I no humans do it a little different but what can I say.  I’m an anipal that has an incentive – booze, cheeze-its and dog movies.  Look at the woof on that pooch on screen!  That’s what I’m talking about.  SIgned Chilling

Dear Chilling – Hey dude – I like how you think. The next time your humans go out, give me a call and we will make a party of it.  I know of a few anipals we could invite.  While the humans are away – we can live it up with some Jamison!

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Dear Bacon – We just want you to know the truth.  When the song Bad Boys comes on and asks what you going to do – think of us.  We are undercover canines for the police department.  Sorry we can’t show you our faces – we’re undercover dude.  But we are always working and on the job – heck we could be in your hood and you would never know.  If you did, we wouldn’t be doing our job, right?  So carry on little pig and don’t worry – we are here to protect you!  Signed Undercover

Dear Undercover – Squeals with piggy delight.  DUDES!  I so wanna go undercover too.  I just know I could be a undercover pig.  I mean who would expect a pig, right?  I know I have the skills – I just know it.  Do you think I could shadow ya’ll one day in a ride along?  Just let me know and I’ll be there.  Be safe out there on those mean streets!

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Dear Bacon – Times are tough these days.  My humans are barely making it work so I told them I would help out and get a job to make some of that green stuff.  So I did what any good standing pooch would do.  Hello – I’m your Uber driver 🙂  They will hire anyone as long as you have a car and know the streets.  And what better anipal to fit that criteria but me.  So hit me up if you need a ride.  I keep water and dog biscuits in the back set for your pleasure.  Thanks bunches.  Signed Cliff

Dear Cliff – Yo dude you should be racking in the money with your set up.  You have wheels, you are dressed business like and yes I do believe you that you know the streets.  And every good Uber driver has perks in the back seats for their pick ups – yours are righteous!  I will pass the information along to my fellow anipals that if they have been out partying too much, to hit you up on Uber from the Smart phones.  You rock dude!

 

 

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Dear Bacon – A dog’s job is never done in the house.  I slave all day to make sure everyone eats.  And you know what?  I have an important questions.  Why does everyone have to eat every day?  I’m always cooking, cleaning, cooking and cleaning.  It never stops.  Just today the little two legged terrors had the munchies and wanted cookies.  Sure, I’m going to do my part while the humans are out of the house.  It is my job to make sure those kids eat and stay out of trouble.  Always busy.  Signed Julia Kid

Dear Julia Kid – I so want to live in your house my friend.  I would love to be your sous chef in that kitchen and help you out… only for food – oinks and snorts.  You’re doing a wonderful job – keep cooking!

 

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❤ Dear Friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please keep emailing me your pictures and letters.  ❤

 

 

Dear Bacon – Hide and Seek Edition

Welcome my friends to our Hide and Seek Edition of Dear Bacon.  All of these sweet kitties have won in various games of hiding.  After reading some of these letters, I couldn’t resist putting them all together for you today.  Hope you enjoy Dear Bacon as much as I love putting it together for you.

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Dear Bacon – What’s more perfect then ‘blending in’ when the human tries to make the bed.  She can’t see me so she doesn’t know that I’m here.  This is perfect because that way I get to snooze all day.  I mean why not?  The human keepers have a job and that’s taking care of me, right?  Signed You Can’t See Me

Dear You Can’t See Me – Oh friend.  I can see now why you are a winner all the way.  I like the way you think.  And you are right.  The humans number one task is us anipals and in making sure that we are comfortable, fed and happy.  I say Amen to that my friend.  Carry on and sweet dreams.

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Dear Bacon – For years when I came to my forever home, I watched my father and how he relaxed on the sofa after dinner every night.  After a while, I started doing the relaxation position.  I gotta tell you – it’s spot on!!  I highly recommend this to everyone – humans and anipals.  Don’t knock it until you try it is what I say.  Signed KO’d

Dear KO’d – I gotta tell you my friend.  That position does look comfortable.  You just kind of blend in to your surroundings.  I guess that’s what humans call a couch potato.  It’s unbelievable.  That position even makes your toes curl.  I love it!

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Dear Bacon –  Can you pick me out?  Oh dude – I love this new rug that the master got.  It’s spectacular!  I can sneak over and lay down on it and no one ever knows where I am.  In fact, the human calls for me all of the time because she can’t find me and I’m right there in front of her.  Awesome huh?  I highly recommend this rug to your dude there Hemi.  He would definitely be able to use it.  Signed Hanging Out

Dear Hanging Out – OMP.  I can’t see you!  Now that is a cool rug there my friend.  I don’t think Hemi needs it though.  I can just see him doing that position hiding in plain view and me or my brother Houdini walking by and getting slapped extra hard on the fannies. Nope.  I think we will pass in passing this information on to the Master Hemi – snorts with piggy laughter.

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Dear Bacon – I’m watching… always watching.  I want you to know that these humans do weird things in this giant litter box of theirs.  Can you believe when they use the liter box, they don’t kick the gravel over it?!  Isn’t that unbelievable?  And what the human mom does in the morning with the mirror.  OMC!  That’s some scary stuff.  She keeps telling me she’s “putting on her face”.  What happened to her face overnight?  Lord helps us piggy.  Things aren’t right in this room for sure.  You should check it out one of these days… of course undercover.  Signed Psycho in Training

Dear Psycho in Training – OMP.  They do what in their special room?!  That sounds so weird and strange.  I don’t get why they don’t cover their poo.  It’s the thing to do.  Poo, kick over and walk on.  No wonder they are always so stressed.  Tell me more the next time you hide out in there okay.

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Dear Bacon – Look closer.  Nope.  I’m not a rug.  I’m laying on a rug.  I’m deep undercover… on a rug shall we say.  Do you do this deep undercover activities?  Please do tell.  Signed Snowball

Dear Snowball – Oh my – I just see a rug.  You are so deep undercover.  Me going undercover?  Only if I’m in mom/dad’s bed under the sheets.  That’s about all the undercover I get to do with this pot belly.  You keep it real okay my friend.

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Dear friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your pictures and letters to my email address.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
Hello my friend.  I see you have a squirrel for a friend – thank you for liking our kind.  And, I know you secretly want to be a super pig hero and wear a cape.  Anytime you want, you can be my sidekick!  Signed Super Squirrel

Dear Super Squirrel,

You are so on!  I love the thoughts of being your sidekick.  I’ve been trying to convince mom for a while now that I need a cape.  You think you can help me a little and talk to her?

 

Dear Bacon,
I don’t think my friends have any clue whatsoever that I’m not really ‘one’ of them if you know what I mean.  I love this spy stuff – what about you?  Signed RacCat Bandit

Dear RacCat Bandit,

OMP (Oh my pig!)  That is so funny.  I fell off of the couch I was laughing so hard at that picture.  You are a little spy, aren’t you?  I can only imagine some of the information you have obtained with that disguise.  Maybe I need to get a mask for Halloween this year.  It would be a hoot!

 

Dear Bacon,
It’s really not as hard as it looks.  I’ve been hanging out with some ladies all week and it’s been great fun!  My next step is to see if one of them will marry me.  Do you think I have a shot?  Signed RooFlam

Dear RooFlam,

Well, first of all I think you look great and you have some amazing talent for walking on sticks. I myself could never do that.  I just don’t have the balance.  Second off, you might want to rethink your mission.  It’s bound to come out eventually that you are not what you seem.

 

Dear Bacon,
Sometimes I think a picture says a thousand words.  I think this is one of those occasions.  What do you think?  Signed Pom the Comedian

Dear Pom the Comedian,

Your picture is so wrong on so many different levels but I have to admit that I laughed… hard!  And, daddy laughed… hard!  Your poor brother – I’m not so sure he thought it was so funny.  All I gotta say, it was a good one but watch out.  I’m sure I’ll be getting a picture and email from your brother in the very near future!

 

Dear Bacon,
It’s not really fair.  I love chasing skunks.  I don’t hurt them.  I just like to play.  See what happens when you just want to play?  You get labeled for life.  I’m sure this picture is going to end up all in the family.  What’s a dog to do?  Signed I’ve Been Skunked

Dear I’ve Been Skunked,

Snorts – you poor, poor pooch.  Your humans are really funny.  I understand you wanting to play but there’s some things out there in the animal kingdom that we just leave alone.  Skunks would be one of them.  I understand your sign – almost.  What’s a douche bag?

 

 

Dear Bacon,

It would be fun they said.  Come on out and play in nature – get some exercise.  Yeah, right.  They got me good.  I think you have the right idea. I’m going anti-nature!  Signed Tree High Five

Dear Tree High Five,

WOW – chasing that frisbee you just didn’t see that tree, huh?  I’m not laughing at you.  I’m laughing with you.  One day you will look back at this picture and chuckle.  Maybe not today.  Maybe not tomorrow.  But one day you will.  Sorry for your pain.  Don’t throw nature away yet.  Hang in there my friend and keep chasing those frisbee’s…. just watch out for trees… and mailboxes… and telephone polls… and fire hyrdrants… snorts

 

FRIENDS – Remember to send your pictures and questions to Dear Bacon at Baconthompson@gmail.com