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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon –  It is that time of the year to celebrate graduations.  Here I am with my pup who just graduated from the top of his training class.  I told him we would go out for Mexican and a little Samuel Adams for the pop if you know what I mean.  These classes don’t come cheap.  But only the best for my son.  I told little Bubba that we would take a selfie to remember this moment forever.  They are only young once and grow so fast.  If I close my eyes, he might be driving next week!  Signed Big Bubba.

Dear BB – Now that is so awesome my friend.  What a way to celebrate the moment at paw.  And you are right.  The little tykes grow up so fast.  At first I had a little rolling stone and now he travels so much I have no clue where he is this week – snorts with piggy laughter.  Enjoy the little minutes friend!


Dear Bacon – There I was minding my own business playing in the hood.  The master called me and I came willing.  That’s when he started spelling words.  Really?  We can spell you know.  Then I heard the letters to that God forsaken place – gulps – the V.E.T.  I was like, “Whatcha talkin bout Willis?” Yep, I call my human by his first name when he says that three lettered bad word.  As if anyone wants to go and get felt up by the V.E.T.  Do your humans do this?  Signed Arnold

Dear Arnold – The man has some nerve.  Humans forget we are smart anipals for sure.  Of course we can spell! We can do all kinds of things the humans don’t know about it when they are not looking.  Of course, that’s a post for another day – snorts!  I think you should ignore the human.  Who really *needs* to go get felt up?… well maybe if there is a cute poodle involved and that is a strong maybe!


Dear Bacon – Do you ever wonder why the earth move sometimes?  No not like around orbit or anything.  I mean like you are in the house and you hear a huge bang or a rumble on the streets.  It’s not what you think.  You may *think* that it’s maybe a thunder storm or a big truck.  Nope it’s not.  It’s us Super Squirrels letting pooches know who really is in charge – us.  This is a picture of me fixing to rock a dog’s world.  Just imagine what the dog looked like when he saw me in mid-strike.  HA!  Signed Super Squirrel

Dear Super Squirrel – OMP!  It all makes sense now.  This is why Australia doesn’t have squirrels.  Possibly – and I stress possibly – all the continents were united and you Super Squirrels took force like the Marvel comics and broke everything apart.  Tell me my friend, am I on the right track?  Try to keep your strikes down okay.  We don’t need anymore continental drifts – snorts.


 

Dear Bacon – I don’t get it.  I’m not amused.  First up my human goes into hysterics when he looks at me and calls me Scooby.  He is always offering me Scooby snacks and asking me if I’m ready for a mystery.  The line was drawn when he got me this new collar.  I think my human has went over the fine line of sanity.  I really do.  Can you help my human out?  His name is Shaggy and he is even talking about taking me to something called DragonCon this year.  What the heck is that?  Barks – Scoob

Dear Scoob – Oh dude, your owner is just having a lot of fun for sure.  I can see Scooby Doo in you.  Scooby Doo is like a happening pooch that is great at solving mysteries and he even belongs to a gang.  Of course the gang is called Mystery Inc.  It’s not a bad thing at all my friend.  And this DragonCon thing is a huge convention where you can meet so many new friends.  Heck, you might even meet someone that looks like you.  What a blast it would be.  Maybe Houdini can come dressed as Scrappy?  Look Scrappy up – it would be a blast!


Dear Bacon – Do you ever feel like you are being made the butt of all your staff’s jokes?  My staff put these glasses on me and have not stopped laughing since.  Heck, the mommy almost made water down her leg from laughing so hard.  Who says that us anipals are the ‘kids’ these days.  Really!  Signed Googly

Dear Googly – Shaking my head.  I understand completely.  My humans are two of the biggest kids ever here in the south.  I don’t trust them to leave the house by themselves.  Trouble doesn’t find them.  They find trouble.  It’s so embarrassing.  You just keep your eye on the situation my friend.

 

 
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Posted by on 05/23/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,
Hello my friend.  I see you have a squirrel for a friend – thank you for liking our kind.  And, I know you secretly want to be a super pig hero and wear a cape.  Anytime you want, you can be my sidekick!  Signed Super Squirrel

Dear Super Squirrel,

You are so on!  I love the thoughts of being your sidekick.  I’ve been trying to convince mom for a while now that I need a cape.  You think you can help me a little and talk to her?

 

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Dear Bacon,
I don’t think my friends have any clue whatsoever that I’m not really ‘one’ of them if you know what I mean.  I love this spy stuff – what about you?  Signed RacCat Bandit

Dear RacCat Bandit,

OMP (Oh my pig!)  That is so funny.  I fell off of the couch I was laughing so hard at that picture.  You are a little spy, aren’t you?  I can only imagine some of the information you have obtained with that disguise.  Maybe I need to get a mask for Halloween this year.  It would be a hoot!

 

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Dear Bacon,
It’s really not as hard as it looks.  I’ve been hanging out with some ladies all week and it’s been great fun!  My next step is to see if one of them will marry me.  Do you think I have a shot?  Signed RooFlam

Dear RooFlam,

Well, first of all I think you look great and you have some amazing talent for walking on sticks. I myself could never do that.  I just don’t have the balance.  Second off, you might want to rethink your mission.  It’s bound to come out eventually that you are not what you seem.

 

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Dear Bacon,
Sometimes I think a picture says a thousand words.  I think this is one of those occasions.  What do you think?  Signed Pom the Comedian

Dear Pom the Comedian,

Your picture is so wrong on so many different levels but I have to admit that I laughed… hard!  And, daddy laughed… hard!  Your poor brother – I’m not so sure he thought it was so funny.  All I gotta say, it was a good one but watch out.  I’m sure I’ll be getting a picture and email from your brother in the very near future!

 

20130601-001612.jpgDear Bacon,
It’s not really fair.  I love chasing skunks.  I don’t hurt them.  I just like to play.  See what happens when you just want to play?  You get labeled for life.  I’m sure this picture is going to end up all in the family.  What’s a dog to do?  Signed I’ve Been Skunked

Dear I’ve Been Skunked,

Snorts – you poor, poor pooch.  Your humans are really funny.  I understand you wanting to play but there’s some things out there in the animal kingdom that we just leave alone.  Skunks would be one of them.  I understand your sign – almost.  What’s a douche bag?

 

 

20130601-001639.jpgDear Bacon,

It would be fun they said.  Come on out and play in nature – get some exercise.  Yeah, right.  They got me good.  I think you have the right idea. I’m going anti-nature!  Signed Tree High Five

Dear Tree High Five,

WOW – chasing that frisbee you just didn’t see that tree, huh?  I’m not laughing at you.  I’m laughing with you.  One day you will look back at this picture and chuckle.  Maybe not today.  Maybe not tomorrow.  But one day you will.  Sorry for your pain.  Don’t throw nature away yet.  Hang in there my friend and keep chasing those frisbee’s…. just watch out for trees… and mailboxes… and telephone polls… and fire hyrdrants… snorts

 

FRIENDS – Remember to send your pictures and questions to Dear Bacon at Baconthompson@gmail.com

 
6 Comments

Posted by on 07/16/2013 in Dear Bacon

 

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