Dear Bacon – We are the Bark Crew. We do spare jobs around the house and inside of the house. We have extra paws so we are good at electrical and tile work. You have work – we need the job. So can you spread the word? Signed Bark Crew
Dear Bark Crew – Now that’s what I’m talking about. Anipals for anipals and getting the job done. Can you give me a few references to also share? I’m sure the dads around the houses will love someone else helping with their Honey Do lists for sure!
Dear Bacon – The humans went out for their date night and this is my time for Netflix and Chill. Yeah, I no humans do it a little different but what can I say. I’m an anipal that has an incentive – booze, cheeze-its and dog movies. Look at the woof on that pooch on screen! That’s what I’m talking about. SIgned Chilling
Dear Chilling – Hey dude – I like how you think. The next time your humans go out, give me a call and we will make a party of it. I know of a few anipals we could invite. While the humans are away – we can live it up with some Jamison!
Dear Bacon – We just want you to know the truth. When the song Bad Boys comes on and asks what you going to do – think of us. We are undercover canines for the police department. Sorry we can’t show you our faces – we’re undercover dude. But we are always working and on the job – heck we could be in your hood and you would never know. If you did, we wouldn’t be doing our job, right? So carry on little pig and don’t worry – we are here to protect you! Signed Undercover
Dear Undercover – Squeals with piggy delight. DUDES! I so wanna go undercover too. I just know I could be a undercover pig. I mean who would expect a pig, right? I know I have the skills – I just know it. Do you think I could shadow ya’ll one day in a ride along? Just let me know and I’ll be there. Be safe out there on those mean streets!
Dear Bacon – Times are tough these days. My humans are barely making it work so I told them I would help out and get a job to make some of that green stuff. So I did what any good standing pooch would do. Hello – I’m your Uber driver 🙂 They will hire anyone as long as you have a car and know the streets. And what better anipal to fit that criteria but me. So hit me up if you need a ride. I keep water and dog biscuits in the back set for your pleasure. Thanks bunches. Signed Cliff
Dear Cliff – Yo dude you should be racking in the money with your set up. You have wheels, you are dressed business like and yes I do believe you that you know the streets. And every good Uber driver has perks in the back seats for their pick ups – yours are righteous! I will pass the information along to my fellow anipals that if they have been out partying too much, to hit you up on Uber from the Smart phones. You rock dude!
Dear Bacon – A dog’s job is never done in the house. I slave all day to make sure everyone eats. And you know what? I have an important questions. Why does everyone have to eat every day? I’m always cooking, cleaning, cooking and cleaning. It never stops. Just today the little two legged terrors had the munchies and wanted cookies. Sure, I’m going to do my part while the humans are out of the house. It is my job to make sure those kids eat and stay out of trouble. Always busy. Signed Julia Kid
Dear Julia Kid – I so want to live in your house my friend. I would love to be your sous chef in that kitchen and help you out… only for food – oinks and snorts. You’re doing a wonderful job – keep cooking!
❤ Dear Friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU. Please keep emailing me your pictures and letters. ❤
Tags: adventure, advice, advice column, animal, appreciation, bacon, Bad Boys, cat, chill, column, comedy, cooking, cute, Dear Abby, Dear Bacon, dog, entertainment, Food, freedom, Friends, fun, funny, games, growing up, happy, Hotel Thompson, humor, Julia Child, kid, kitchen, Love, miniature pot bellied pig, Netflix, Netflix and chill, pet, pig, play, playful, priceless, smart, snorts, spoiled, trouble, Uber, undercover
Dear Bacon – I’m getting too old to be the party dog in the crowd. My friends are trying to have an intervention with me and took this picture. I really didn’t think I had gotten that bad but pictures don’t lie, right? Between the beer and the shots of tequila, I was out for the night. I guess it’s time for me to reach out for help. What do you suggest? Signed Boozer
Dear Boozer – You are right my little friend. Admission is the first step and you have taken that step in the right direction. There are group meetings that you can attend in your area with AAA (Anipal Alcoholic Anonymous). Make that phone call my friend and good luck with your recovery.
Dear Bacon – The big thing right now is to Netflix and chill. I’m all for it. This is me watching my favorite movie Willard. If you haven’t seen it, you must watch it. It’s amazing. And of course no movie is perfect without the snack of some cheese. What’s your favorite movie to chill? Signed Will Jr
Dear Will Jr – Well my friend. I looked up your movie. It is what shall I say intriguing for sure. My favorite movie lately is My Brother the Pig. This is also an amazing movie. And I like to watch it with snacks as well – my favorite is popcorn. You keep chilling little guy!
Dear Bacon – Cheap labor. That’s what I call this. Our human has a lawn service and dude he puts us to work for kibbles. We all have our assigned duties from leaf blower, raking and working the riding lawn mower. It’s unheard of but it does make for some interesting looks when the humans drive by. I’m hoping that one of the neighborhood ladies will take notice of our skills. What do you think – we got a chance? Signed Canine Lawn Care
Dear Canine Lawn Care – Hey, if you were in my hood, I would definitely hire you for sure my friends. However you get the job done, that’s key in my book. And once the ladies notice your working skills and the kibbles that you are bringing in, they will have to take numbers at your front door. Be safe!
Dear Bacon – Look dude, it was a spider on the ground. I don’t do spiders. Nope, not at all. And it was gigantic. There was no way I was staying on the ground with that monster. And those humans – they just walked around it like it was nothing. They are the strangest people. You afraid of those creepy crawlers too, right? Signed Spastic
Dear Spastic – Let me get this right. You are afraid of spiders but not height. That’s amazing. And what’s more amazing is that the humans are just walking by without a care not even paying you any attention. WOW. Too bad you can’t act like a bird and drop a little something if you know what I mean – snorts with piggy laughter. I do understand your arachnophobia. I myself don’t like the little pests with all of those legs either. No one blames you for that. Just be careful getting down off that limb okay bro.
Dear Bacon – Look at me – I’m a turtle. Barks! Okay maybe not a turtle. Maybe a cute little pooch. Yep that’s who I am – a cute little pooch. My human is always dressing me up different ways. I say go for it because they always give me great treats in return. Do your humans make you do anything stupid for treats? Signed Michaelangelo
Dear Michaelangelo – Once my mom put me near a carton of eggs and took my picture. She said I was the bacon and eggs in its original form. I don’t get it but mom/dad got a great laugh out of it. And like you as well – I got great treats. So hey, if it doesn’t hurt us then I say wear it with pride.
Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without *you*. Please remember to email me your letters and pictures ❤
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Dear Bacon – There is always that one sibling who just never smiles at the right time or large enough for the camera. Here we are in Summer now and we are trying to get our Christmas cards made – notice lights in the background. That’s when Stupid doesn’t want to smile. Finally, I had to crawl on his back to give him a little help. Shakes my kitty head. Do you ever have to do the same with your siblings? Signed CIC (Cat in Charge)
Dear CIC – Shaking my piggy head. Well I guess that’s one way to do it my friend. Help out your brother in his smiling for the camera. I guess you are right about getting those cards done in time for Christmas. Maybe this weekend we can all get together here to get them done in time. But I have to ask one question my friend. Tell me that the dog’s name isn’t really Stupid. Please say no. Snorts with piggy laughter.
Dear Bacon – I really don’t get all of this Netflix and chill stuff. I mean heck I do it every night. So can you tell me am I doing it right or wrong? Signed Stud Muffin
Dear Stud Muffin – Well, it looks like you are doing it right to me. You are watching Netflix and chilling with your popcorn. I mean heck, you even have on your house shoes. You can’t be chilling anymore than that. And you are watching Netflix on your computer so you can still bounce around on the internet while listening. Nope, I say that’s it. Go for it my friend and be happy.
Dear Bacon – There I was in the house walking around at midnight and I just couldn’t sleep. That’s when my humans did the most amazing thing. They bundled me up and took me for a drive to help me sleep. Within minutes, I was passed out on the stick shift. What a terrific way to be rocked to sleep. Signed Twinkle
Dear Twinkle – Oh My Pigs! That does look amazing and what great parents you have to think of this and to gently rock you to sleep. That is awesome! I would say that your humans are definitely keepers in their way of taking care of their anipals. Just do me a favor okay – don’t drool on the stick shift.
Dear Bacon – My human mom said she would play fetch with me. She told me to go get one of my play toys. Well I couldn’t decide which one to bring back so I did what any other anipal would do – I brought them all so she could pick one to play with. Don’t you just love it when the humans play fetch with you? Signed Decisions Too Big
Dear Decisions Too Big – I agree. That is the only way to play with our toys. Bring them all out and spread them all over the floor. That is the way we can be sure which ones we want at the time.
REMEMBER MY FRIENDS – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU. Please continue sending me your pictures and questions to my email address ♥
Tags: adventure, advice, advice column, animal, appreciation, bacon, Bad, cat, chill, Christmas, Christmas cards, column, comedy, cute, Dear Abby, Dear Bacon, dog, dogs, entertainment, Food, freedom, Friends, fun, funny, games, growing up, happy, Hotel Thompson, humor, kid, Love, miniature pot bellied pig, Netflix, Netflix and chill, pet, pets, Pictures, pig, play, playful, priceless, ride, sleep, smart, snorts, spoiled, toys, trouble, twinkle
Dear Bacon – We are all trying to do everything we can this time of the year to make more money for Christmas. I’m working on chaperoning humans around that kind of party too much. Hey, it’s just one of those things of giving and caring you know. And don’t worry. Those that I pick up don’t remember me driving them anywhere let alone the money I take out of their wallet – barks! Signed Duber
Dear Duber – Dude that is an awesome service. And you are right, no one will remember the great service that you are rendering. Stay safe my pal and drive between the lines!
Dear Bacon – It’s going to get cold soon in these parts. I gotta make sure we have enough wood for the fireplace to keep the house nice and toasty. When the humans go to work, so do I! But don’t worry, safety first with this ax. Signed Lineman of the County
Dear Lineman of the County – AWESOME! Bravo – bravo – bravo my friend. That is some thinking of ahead to make sure you stay warm. And if the humans stay warm – that means you get more play time and treats. That is a most excellent idea.
P.S. You know where I can get some of those boots in a pig size 3?
Dear Bacon – Talk about a hart day. I’m telling you beautiful life is so hard some days keeping up with all of the activities this time of the year. There’s the hairballs to fuss up. There’s the dogs to keep in line. There’s the hiding from the yearly Christmas card that goes out. There’s the singing at midnight to be scheduled. There’s the pouncing on the keyboards when the humans want computer time. Sigh – see – it’s a hard life being this good. I just want to kick back in my recliner at the end of the day with a glass of wine. How do you keep your sanity? Signed Kitty Pinot Noir
Dear Kitty Pinot Noir – WOW – You make happiness look so good my little purr friend. When you put everything down the way you did, your life is active. I myself try to take many, MANY naps during the day. This keeps me sprite and ready for mom when she returns home at the end of the day from her worky place. Cause we all know that when the homes get home, it’s game time!
Dear Bacon – It’s that time of the year! Finally all of the great movies come on television that scream HOLIDAYS. This is me from over the weekend. I looked at the television guide that morning and saw that my movie of the season was coming on that night. Got in my jammies, took out my contacts and had the popcorn ready for my netflix and chill – HOME ALONE. Dude, can that Kevin scream or what? I absolutely love that movie. It just shouts Merry Christmas!! Signed Dog Alone
Dear Dog Alone – OMP! That’s one of my mom’s favorites too. She says it’s not Christmas time until she watches that movie on television. What a coincidence you two have. I say go for it my friend and make the holidays happen for you. I myself love to watch Rudolph every year. That is my Christmas show to start the season. Enjoy and be safe!
REMEMBER my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU. Please continue to send me your letters and pictures to my email. Thanks!
Tags: adventure, advice, advice column, animal, appreciation, bacon, Bad, cat, chaperone, chill, Christmas, column, comedy, cute, Dear Abby, Dear Bacon, devil, dog, entertainment, fireplace, Food, freedom, Friends, fun, funny, games, growing up, happy, heat, holidays, Home Alone, Hotel Thompson, humor, Kevin, kid, Love, Merry Christmas, miniature pot bellied pig, Netflix, Netflix and chill, pet, pets, pig, pinoit noir, play, playful, priceless, Rudolph, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, sleep, smart, snorts, spoiled, trouble, warm, wine
Dear Bacon – Hey there. Our names are Chill and Squeal. We are pleased to meet you piggy. We would love to meet you one day and have some fun. It sounds like we have a lot in common – play, eating, hiding, eating, rolling around, eating, hibernating until Spring, eating. See, don’t you think? And don’t worry about Chill’s sharp teeth in his picture. He doesn’t use them much. Signed Chill and Squeal
Dear Chill and Squeal – Well don’t ya’ll look like hospitality charm. I say if you are in the area, check me out. I’m all for new adventures – especially when eating is involved. Perhaps we can give the purr things here a run for their money. Just sayin’. And what cute little sweaters – adorable!
Dear Bacon -ssshh – don’t say a word. We are playing hide and go seek from the purr things. I think we found *the* spot. We have been under here for almost two hours and the purr things haven’t even been in the room. Awesome huh? Signed Hide and Seek
Dear Hide and Seek – Playing with the purr things, huh? First let me commend you on your hiding spot. It is most excellent indeed. Secondly let me tell you something about pesky purr things. They put you up to hide – are you ready for this? – to get ricd of you. And to think, they succeeded for two hours in not having you around. My friends, this calls for payback. Go hide their kitty boxes. I dare say *that* would be the ultimate pay back in hide and seek. And maybe that would teach them not to mess with the dogs!.
Dear Bacon – There is nothing to do in the winter weather except crawl up in front of the fireplace, don some glasses and read the great American novel. Here I am reading about Rin-Tin-Tin. It’s a great read full of adventures that we just can’t do in these cold months ourselves. What’s your favorite thing to do in the cold months? Signed Sir Chomps
Dear Sir Chomps – Awesome my friend. Reading is a great way to pass the time and live in another place for a while. These cold months can be so awful and cold. My favorite thing in the winter is being wrapped in my king sized Egyptian cotton sheet and dreaming of days of warmth and fun in the Spring. It’s a great way to stay warm..
Dear Bacon – You talk about your piggy bed all of the time. I just wanted to show you mine. Here I am chilling in the morning after the staff have went to work. It’s my favorite part of the day. A great nap followed by a snack following by another nap before the people get home. You like? Signed Dog in a Bed
Dear Dog in a Bed – Hey, you are *MY* kind of friend. I love me some sleep somewhere comfy and warm. I say go for it! And your routine ROCKS! One can never have too many naps or snacks.
Dear Bacon – I just had *that* surgery where the aliens came down and kidnapped my best friends if you know what I mean. The only great thing is they sent me home all drugged… which I highly recommend. Thank goodness I read about this procedure from when your Houdini had his so I knew what to expect from the alien invasion. Dude, those little green guys can be vicious can’t they? Signed I’m a Happy Dog
Dear I’m a Happy Dog – Happy huh? I know that’s the medicine talking pal. Just think in a couple of days, the aliens will have erased all of this pain and discomfort from your mind. Until then, enjoy the drugs 🙂
REMEMBER FRIENDS – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU. Please keep sending me your pictures and questions to my email. 🙂
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