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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – We are the Bark Crew.  We do spare jobs around the house and inside of the house.  We have extra paws so we are good at electrical and tile work.  You have work – we need the job.  So can you spread the word?  Signed Bark Crew

Dear Bark Crew – Now that’s what I’m talking about.  Anipals for anipals and getting the job done.  Can you give me a few references to also share?  I’m sure the dads around the houses will love someone else helping with their Honey Do lists for sure!


 Dear Bacon – The humans went out for their date night and this is my time for Netflix and Chill.  Yeah, I no humans do it a little different but what can I say.  I’m an anipal that has an incentive – booze, cheeze-its and dog movies.  Look at the woof on that pooch on screen!  That’s what I’m talking about.  SIgned Chilling

Dear Chilling – Hey dude – I like how you think. The next time your humans go out, give me a call and we will make a party of it.  I know of a few anipals we could invite.  While the humans are away – we can live it up with some Jamison!


Dear Bacon – We just want you to know the truth.  When the song Bad Boys comes on and asks what you going to do – think of us.  We are undercover canines for the police department.  Sorry we can’t show you our faces – we’re undercover dude.  But we are always working and on the job – heck we could be in your hood and you would never know.  If you did, we wouldn’t be doing our job, right?  So carry on little pig and don’t worry – we are here to protect you!  Signed Undercover

Dear Undercover – Squeals with piggy delight.  DUDES!  I so wanna go undercover too.  I just know I could be a undercover pig.  I mean who would expect a pig, right?  I know I have the skills – I just know it.  Do you think I could shadow ya’ll one day in a ride along?  Just let me know and I’ll be there.  Be safe out there on those mean streets!


Dear Bacon – Times are tough these days.  My humans are barely making it work so I told them I would help out and get a job to make some of that green stuff.  So I did what any good standing pooch would do.  Hello – I’m your Uber driver 🙂  They will hire anyone as long as you have a car and know the streets.  And what better anipal to fit that criteria but me.  So hit me up if you need a ride.  I keep water and dog biscuits in the back set for your pleasure.  Thanks bunches.  Signed Cliff

Dear Cliff – Yo dude you should be racking in the money with your set up.  You have wheels, you are dressed business like and yes I do believe you that you know the streets.  And every good Uber driver has perks in the back seats for their pick ups – yours are righteous!  I will pass the information along to my fellow anipals that if they have been out partying too much, to hit you up on Uber from the Smart phones.  You rock dude!

 

 


Dear Bacon – A dog’s job is never done in the house.  I slave all day to make sure everyone eats.  And you know what?  I have an important questions.  Why does everyone have to eat every day?  I’m always cooking, cleaning, cooking and cleaning.  It never stops.  Just today the little two legged terrors had the munchies and wanted cookies.  Sure, I’m going to do my part while the humans are out of the house.  It is my job to make sure those kids eat and stay out of trouble.  Always busy.  Signed Julia Kid

Dear Julia Kid – I so want to live in your house my friend.  I would love to be your sous chef in that kitchen and help you out… only for food – oinks and snorts.  You’re doing a wonderful job – keep cooking!

 


❤ Dear Friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please keep emailing me your pictures and letters.  ❤

 

 
26 Comments

Posted by on 08/23/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

   Dear Bacon –  There I was taking one of my many power naps and this insistent knocking kept going on at my front door.  I was not amused because I was dreaming.  And I just happened to be at the best part where I was fixing to get that disgusting little mouse that wears two white gloves.  I went to the door and the intruders were walking away.  I’m off now to create a sign for the door, “Do not bother… unless you have mice”.  Signed Jerry

Dear Jerry – Gulps.  You were dreaming of getting the mouse that wears the two white gloves?  Oh no… I think I’ll keep your letter away from my mom.  She kind of likes him… a LOT.  But yes I do get the meaning of your letter’s bottom line.  Why do people come to the house uninvited?  It irritates me too.  But I think you handled it well.  With that look, I would never come to your house again without calling first.


Dear Bacon –  I’m so tired!  It’s all I can do to hold my head and body up.  I don’t want to take a nap – I may miss something then!  So I positioned myself on the couch so I could still hear and see everything – especially the television – but yet be comfortable so I didn’t have to hold myself up.  What do you think?  Do I look comfy?  Oh by the way, could you pass my a biscuit?  Signed Kanga

Dear Kanga – I do say so my friend that you look absolutely comfy and what an genius way to position yourself so that you don’t a miss a thing.  I myself know what the feeling is like when you are so tired but you gotta stay awake.  Who knows when food might make an appearance and you definitely don’t want to miss out on that… or the gossip about the poodle next door.  I’m just saying.  You relax a bit.  I’ll get you a couple of biscuits.  Anything else?  Water?  Tea?


Dear Bacon –  Let me introduce you to a new service here in the anipal world my friend.  The humans have Uber and we have Duber.  You call us and arrange a pick up and we will get you to your destination.  Just look at this little guy.  He partied WAY too hard tonight and called for a pick up so he wouldn’t get a DUI (Doggy Under the Influence) charge on him.  I picked him up, strapped him in and now we are headed to his home.  See, that’s an awesome service.  What do you think?  Signed Duber Driver

Dear Duber Driver – I think you may have something my friend.  I love this!  The humans aren’t the only ones that have moments of genius.  I think you need to get this trademarked STAT.  Just think of the money you can make – the biscuits and treats you can buy.  Hey, do you have a president of your company?  I think I have just the hooves for that position in marketing your new business.


Dear Bacon –  There I was minding my own business when your daddy came over and visited me.  I was like, “Jimmy, I got two people ahead of me before we can talk.”  I think he might of been upset with the wait.  I’m not sure – I really can’t see into the humans souls like I use to.  But he waited for me and after my other friends left, we had a nice discussion about life and the insurances it doesn’t bring.  Don’t worry, we didn’t talk about ya’ll one teeny tiny bit.  Nope, not at all.  It was purely business.  Signed Grandma

Dear Grandma – WOW?  Daddy actually left the Hotel Thompson to visit with you huh?  I didn’t think he had that in him.  And don’t worry.  The man never gets upset.  Not at all.  He looks forward to talking to anyone.  In fact, door to door salesmen don’t even come to our house anymore.  They got tired of their ears being talked off by daddy.  What can I say?  He’s here and he’s a very friendly kind of guy.


Dear Bacon –  Come closer Bacon – I’ll tell you a little secret.  Sometimes I like standing in front of the mirror and looking at myself. Sometimes I even talk to myself.  Why?  Well, it’s lonely being a little hedgehog.  Looking in the mirror makes it look like I have a friend that I can share secrets with that will never tell anyone else.  See, it’s special.  Do you ever do this?  Signed Hilde the Hedgehog

Dear Hilde the Hedgehog – I think that’s beautiful my friend.  You make your own company and you are so right about secrets.  No way is that ‘other’ hedgehog going to tell anyone.  I think it’s sweet and very creative of you to come up with this plan.  I need to find me a mirror somewhere in the Hotel Thompson.  But then again, what if my mirror shows me I’m fat?  Shocker!


REMEMBER  my friends, Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to email me your letters and pictures ❤ 

 
17 Comments

Posted by on 01/19/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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