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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,
They say that we can all stand on our heads. I don’t know. I think I may be vertically challenged or maybe my head is not flat enough. I just can’t seem to be able to do it all the way with my back legs straight up. It throws me off balance. Can you do it? Signed Not Happening

Dear Not Happening,
Never dear friend. Sometimes we are just not built to do these weird things that you see the humans partake. I can’t stand on my head. This pot belly of mine knocks me off center every time. And my mom, even though she’s human, she can’t do it either. Don’t try to be like everyone else. Make your own path and be happy – leave the sitting to your bottom.


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Dear Bacon,
There’s always that one idiot that has to pop in your picture. Can you relate? I was minding my own business in this shot. I just wanted it to look halfway decent to post on my Pet Harmony dating profile. Signed Available

Dear Available,
Yep. I know exactly what you are talking about. Hemi, the purr thing here at the Hotel Thompson, thinks he should be in every camera shot. He is always photo bombing my pictures. Just keep smiling. Pay back can really be tortuous for our sidekicks. Right? Maybe sign up your friend as well on Pet Harmony and post his picture – of course with your picture cropped out. Snort giggles.


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Dear Bacon,
It’s a wonderful thing to have such great friends. Out in the pasture, sometimes I just get tuckered out. That’s my good buddy will help me out and let me take a nap. Isn’t that nice of him? Signed Sleepy on the Road

Dear Sleepy on the Road,
That is an excellent friend. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen that kind of friendship before. You are most definitely one lucky little guy!


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Dear Bacon,
I coach a soccer team on the weekends. We are always looking for a few new team players. You ever think about playing? I’ve heard that snout of yours can be classified as a deadly weapon.

We could use a player like you. What do you say? Signed Coach Jones of Team Anipals

Dear Coach Jones of Team Anipals,

That sounds like a great deal of fun. I’m In to give it a shot. This snout is very wicked and these hooves are very fast!!


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Dear Bacon,
I think I need some anti wrinkle cream. Every time I wake up, I have more wrinkles! Soon, you’ll just see one giant sloppy dog. What can a pooch do? Please help. Signed Wrinkles

Dear Wrinkles,
As Lady Gaga once said, “Just put your paws up, Cause you were born this way, baby”. Embrace the way you are and don’t try to fight it my friend. Be happy in your own wrinkles.

 

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8 Comments

Posted by on 08/14/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Moral of the Story

A pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. He was so pleased with his donkey that he entered it a 2nd time and it won again. The local paper read: “PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.” The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read: “BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTORS ASS.” This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, upon hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: “NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.” The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read: “NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.” This was too much for the bishop so he ordered the nun to buy back her donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:”NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.”

The bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is – being concerned about public opinion can bring you grief and misery and even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life..  You’ll be a lot happier and live longer.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on 08/13/2018 in Bacon

 

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What Does a Pig Yawning Look Like?

I *know* that this is the question you ask yourself on a daily basis – snorts.  Today I’m here to make that question come true.  I’m going to show you what it looks like when a pig – namely moi – yawns.  Yes I yawn.  I get tired too.  Hey, it’s hard work maintaining this pot belly and this establishment here at the Hotel Thompson.  Okay, without further ado, here you go.  A picture of me yawning.

Notice the technique.  Yes there is a technique my friends.  In this picture, I’m on the sofa with mommy watching television.  I have to stretch my front hooves.  Then my nose goes up, my tongue comes out a little and I yawn.  See, I also have a tongue.  Some people have questioned that – snorts.  And in this picture, you might see a little tooth.  Trust me.  There are more than one.  Please excuse the extra jowls – it’s too hot these days to exercise… except for my jaws when I’m eating – double snorts.  

So there you go.  Now you’ve seen everything… a pig yawning 🙂  You’re welcome.  Have a fabulous day my friends! ❤ 

 
7 Comments

Posted by on 08/12/2018 in Bacon

 

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Cucumber Banana

20130724-232029.jpgTHAT’s IT!

Now I know exactly how to hide my bananas here at the Hotel Thompson.  Disguise them as cucumbers!  Daddy won’t touch cucumbers.  He’s the culprit.

Mommy buys *me* bananas but when I turn my back, daddy is eating them.  And you know what, he won’t share like mommy.  I don’t get it.  He has everything else in the house in the big ice box to eat.  Can he please leave my bananas alone?  Please?

Mommy calls me her monkey boy sometimes because I love bananas so much.  Can you do me a favor friends, can you tell my daddy that these are really made for this little oinker and not the human daddy?  Please – can you help a pig out?

 
6 Comments

Posted by on 08/11/2018 in Bacon

 

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Paw Time with Houdini

Barks!  Sometimes one has to shoot for the moon – shoot for the stars – or in my case shoot the hoop.  I went off with mom and some of her friends were playing b-ball.  They asked me if I wanted to play.  How could I refuse?  Especially when the guys help me out with my dunks.  It was an awesome time for sure.  I loved chasing the ball.

It was just kind of hard for me to dribble but hey they understood.  Have you ever gotten your paw on the hoop or backboard?  Now that is some fun for sure.  I highly recommend it!

 

 

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Book Lovers Day

Journalist Rocky the Squirrel here –

Keeping my paws on the nuts of the world!

Hello dear friends.  Today is the official Book Lovers Day.  Don’t you just love a great book.  Something that takes you away from the every day ordinary life that you have.  Something romantic – something exciting – something spy or a great mystery.  Anything that you can read to put you in another life or another space in time.  Reading can be for fun, educational, relaxing or research.  Reading can make us laugh, smile or even cry.

Today, I encourage you to find that interesting book – of any topic that intrigues you.  Open the book and start your journey anywhere – in the house, on your bed, in the grass, on a hammock.  Go away, even for a couple of hours, to a place that you don’t need a passport to travel.

I myself will be researching some recipes.  There are a couple of chickens and roosters that don’t know what time it is in our hood.  I’m researching ways to help them – even chitter chatter.  No really, just researching some interesting recipes.  Now my friends, go find your book!

 
5 Comments

Posted by on 08/09/2018 in Journalist Rocky the Squirrel

 

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Travels in the South

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I’ve told you before my friends.  My mom and dad have lost it. Totally.  This past weekend was one of “those” adventures – snorts.  They were looking for some adventure and wanted to try a place they had never been to before.  So they took off in Albert, mom’s little Smart car, and hit the highway.  Almost sounds like a song huh – snorts.

They ended up at this place called Mellow Mushroom – it’s a pizza joint which was right up dad’s alley.  He ❤ pizza.  Mom was somewhat reluctant.  First off because they sat right beside exhibit A to the left.  Pardon me while I say this but does that ‘mushroom’ look psychedelic?  It was kind of disturbing in a weird sense of direction.  Mom couldn’t take her eyes off of it.  There was just something about it that was just plain weird.

 That’s when mom got up to take a closer look at the psychedelic mushroom.   20140716-201449-72889500.jpg

It’s not all its cracked up to be – double snorts.  You get it – cracked up.  It really is around the head area.  What kind of restaurant is this place?  Mom shook her head, snapped a couple of pictures and sat down preparing herself for a psychedelic adventure.

P.S.  If you are ever out and about and see some crazy lady taking pictures at a restaurant, just call her mom.  That will probably be my crazy mom – she takes pictures of *everything* as you will soon see in this post.

Shakes piggy head.  At least it’s not all about me now.

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20140716-201448-72888070.jpgMom has been on this DIEt thing lately.  It’s going okay. As she says, it’s all about choices.  So today she choose a Greek salad to start her meal.

Exhibit B to the left here.  She says if she starts with a good salad, it fills her so she doesn’t eat too much of a bad thing.

Which is good – I guess if you are living a DIEt kind of life.  Mom did say that this salad was delicious!  It had everything she loves – lettuce, mushrooms (which didn’t look scary like exhibit A), olives, peppers and feta cheese.

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20140716-201454-72894404.jpgDad on the other hoof, went with a cheese covered pretzel.  See exhibit C here to the right.  Not only was it delicious and cheesy, they served it with a beer cheese dipping sauce.  It must have been great because daddy licked the cheese sauce dry and there were no crumbs left from the pretzel.

 Which is good because mommy kept watching him waiting for something to drop.  So much for eating a nice decent sensible salad huh?

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Now cam20140716-201452-72892352.jpge the main course.  Mom and dad can never agree upon toppings for their pizza.  There solution is to always get a pie 1/2 and 1/2.  That way mom can have what she wants and dad can have what he wants.  May I present to you exhibit D to the left.  Drum roll – tongue hanging out – deliciousness.

Mom got the top side.  She ❤ white pizza with cheese, garlic and tomatoes – what’s not to love right?

Dad on the other hoof got the bottom side.  He gets the works… something this little piggy can’t discuss and think about.  But it looks good.  Of course a lot of pizza made it’s way home for lunch the next day.

You have to admit though, mom had hesitation at first with seeing the psychedelic mushroom – or maybe it was because of the psychedelic mushroom – the food was delicious!

 
14 Comments

Posted by on 08/08/2018 in Bacon

 

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