Here in this picture we see shrimp pasta – does’t it look delicious? This comes from one of mom/dad’s favorite restaurants called Red Lobster. They just love their shrimp pasta. They were sharing this dish and I was looking at it when it dawned on me about something. Look closely at the picture and kind of lean your head to the left. You see there are two forks. Now let’s talk about techniques in the eating of pasta shall we. I’ve learned that this is a treacherous position to take with some folks but I’m up for the piggy challenge. Are you?
Now, personally, I would just chomp that fine looking shrimp pasta all down without coming up for air. It looks great to me. But humans, they use forks and manners which dad reminds me of often that I don’t have. Hmmpphh – so says the man who burps the alphabet huh?
Dad believes in the fork straight down and twist to get all pasta in one giant happy scoop. Mom is not a twist kind of person. She believes in ‘cutting’ the pasta and then scooping it up to her awaiting mouth. Why does she do this? She says because as a child her dad would play tic-tac-toe with her on spaghetti night. Come again mom? Have you been drinking the vodka today already?
Really, she says that spaghetti night was hard for a kid to learn the twist thing. So her dad would make a tic-tac-toe chart on her plate breaking up the spaghetti and ‘cutting’ it into the pattern. He would then challenge her to the game and eating it. Thus, this is why she cuts it. Does that make sense? A nearly fifty something still playing with her food. And mom/dad fuss at me for playing with mine. Some things are just not fair.
So the question is my friends – to twist or not to twist.
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Dear Bacon – Never EVER trust a dare from a dog my friend. They will put you up to something knowing darn well that the end results would not be good… at least for the kitty. The barky thing was like, “Hey, cool kitty don’t you want to fly?” He persuaded me that hanging on to this balloon would be the coolest thing since sliced bread. What he neglected to tell me was that the balloon was going to float my hairy little body up and it would scare me and then my nails would come out and when I was half way up the balloon would pop because of said nails. That bastard dog is all I gotta say. Never trust them. Signed I’m Floating… but not for long
Dear I’m Floating … but Not for Long – Okay apparently the pooch had the brilliance of foresight to take your picture to capture this for eternity. And you have to admit that it was really creative on his part to see if you could fly, even if it was momentarily. Look at the bright side, you are a cool cat!
Dear Bacon – There I was. Finally I had the attention of the gal that so rocks my world. I was showing her my ninja moves trying to impress her with my skills and abilities. While my buddy Rolan was on the porch rolling with kitty laughter. I tell you pig, never let your friends stay around when you are trying to hit on a chick. They don’t help in any way. Signed Ninja Kitty
Dear Ninja Kitty – I gotta say you got some moves my friend. I think that pose is awesome. Who says cats can’t push themselves off of the floor and kick that high? I wish I could! I bet I would be able to impress the ladies too. And don’t worry about Rolan. That’s why he is still single – snorts.
Dear Bacon – Sometimes when you are tired you are just too tired to care. Here I was climbing my house to get my kitty cat exercise. That’s when it hit me – BAM! I was tired. So I did what I do best. I made the best of the situation and took me a little sunny siesta. I could feel the heat from the sun on me and was dreaming for just a while that I was on the beach somewhere enjoying sand in my paws and a cold drink beside me. Sigh – it was such a great dream. That is until I fell out of the hammock onto my tushy on the floor. Shakes my body. Dreams suck sometimes. Signed Taking Five
Dear Taking Five – I agree. Sometimes dreams do suck. Once, I had a dream that I met Miss Piggy and we were going swimming in a lake under the moonlight – just me and the love of my life. The water woke me up – I peed on myself. Shakes piggy head. See, dreams can suck like you can’t imagine!
Dear Bacon – I’m all for one in picking up sports that fit your body and your skills. I myself LOVE to swim – especially diving off of the diving board. And what can I say? This body was made for belly flops at our local watering hole. I highly recommend them. And I can tell that you would be good at this. Just look at your pot-belly. That is a piece of artwork you have there my friend. Next time you get a chance, take the splash. Signed Happy Trails
Dear Happy Trails – Really you think so? You think this belly is made for some flops in the water? I do work hard at maintaining my piggy physique. It’s not as easy as one would think it is. It takes time perfecting the right amount of munchies throughout the day to have this keg – who wants a six pack these days? That’s just so common! Happy swimming my friend!
Dear Bacon – Play with the little humans they said. No one will get hurt they said. It would be fun they said… aren’t those famous last words? So I let the little humans play with me – I was thinking chase not bury the treasure. I knew I was in trouble when they dug a hole and stuck me in it. And then the big humans had the nerve to yell, “Dinner”. You know those pesky little people left me like this – nothing to help me but my paws and tail sticking up. Really? This is how you treat me for not leaving poo in your house. Barks – we’ll see how fast that changes. Signed Butt Deep in Trouble
Dear Butt Deep in Trouble – I have to admit that it does look kind of fun. I mean not the you are stuck in the sand never to flee again or chase mailman fun… but the look at you aren’t you so cute with your paws and tail sticking out fun. I think you look so very cute! Don’t worry, you can bury the little humans next time when they play – fair play is fair play – snorts with piggy laughter.
REMEMBER my friends, Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU. Please continue to email me your letters and pictures ❤
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