Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – These chickens are forever pestering the heck out of me when I’m in the yard.  I don’t care where I go, they follow me around like pesky dogs pecking at everything.  I can’t even use the giant scratch box outside anywhere in private without them being there to disturb me.  Well I think I finally got one up on them.  They can’t get through the front door.  The can look like like peeping chickens but not get in.  So I did something just to tick them off.  I stretched out on the floor and was blowing butt biscuits their way.  Eventually the smell hit them.  Rolls and purrs with kitty laughter.  Maybe they will leave me alone now.  You think?  Signed Butt Biscuits

Dear Butt Biscuits – OMP!  I usually call them food ghosts but I think I like butt biscuits from now on.  Those chickens need to understand there is  a line to be drawn of leaving fellow anipals alone.  We have some chicks next door to us.  They fly everywhere – even in my magical backyard.  They drive me nuts too.  Just wait until the next time I’m out there.  I’m going to throw them a butt biscuit – snorts and rolls with piggy laughter!

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Dear Bacon – Sometimes one just knows when their humans are not having a great day.  It could be from the sighs they make when they come through the doorway, the dismantled look they have with their clothes or it could be the fact that they kick their shoes off – or already have them off – by the time they come through the threshold.  Whatever the reason it is, sometimes us anipals need to make sure we step up and have the home front ready for them.  Take for instance this case, my human daddy had a very rough day.  I put on my finest attire and had a glass of wine waiting for him.  I think it brightened his day.  So much so that he didn’t notice my new jewels on my neck.  We’ll save that part of telling him when he gets the credit card bill.  Barks! Signed Tiffany

Dear Tiffany – I like the way you think.  I need to do this for mom the next time she comes home all disheveled from doing monthly statistics.  Sometimes when she does this, she can’t even remember her name.   Your awesome!  And when your dad gets the credit card bill, blame it on the poodle next door.

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Dear Bacon – It’s embarrassing.  Really it is.  No it’s not the scarf or the clothes.  It’s not even the hair.  It’s embarrassing that my human can’t pick a better place to take my picture than leaning against this tree.  I mean dude, look there is a rink behind me.  I could be ice skating and showing off my skills for a picture of a lifetime.  But no… the human thinks this trees adds to my dimension.  What an idiot.  Signed Much More

Dear Much More – I believe it!  I really do.  I know you are much more than just a gorgeous face.  Maybe hire someone on the side to help you out with your photo shoots.  Just think of the money you could make showing off those awesome skills!  Get to work.  I can’t wait to see them.

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Dear Bacon – My humans love me so much that they had me a special blanket made just for me.  And everyone should know that this blanket is mine and only mine.  What do you think about it?  You want one too, don’t you?  Signed Sexy and I Know It

Dear Sexy and I Know It – YES! YES! YES!  I want one too.  I think it is absolutely gorgeous.  It just shows how special you are and nobody can say it’s not your blanket.  Use it with pride sweet friend!