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Dear Bacon


Dear Bacon – These chickens are forever pestering the heck out of me when I’m in the yard.  I don’t care where I go, they follow me around like pesky dogs pecking at everything.  I can’t even use the giant scratch box outside anywhere in private without them being there to disturb me.  Well I think I finally got one up on them.  They can’t get through the front door.  The can look like like peeping chickens but not get in.  So I did something just to tick them off.  I stretched out on the floor and was blowing butt biscuits their way.  Eventually the smell hit them.  Rolls and purrs with kitty laughter.  Maybe they will leave me alone now.  You think?  Signed Butt Biscuits

Dear Butt Biscuits – OMP!  I usually call them food ghosts but I think I like butt biscuits from now on.  Those chickens need to understand there is  a line to be drawn of leaving fellow anipals alone.  We have some chicks next door to us.  They fly everywhere – even in my magical backyard.  They drive me nuts too.  Just wait until the next time I’m out there.  I’m going to throw them a butt biscuit – snorts and rolls with piggy laughter!


Dear Bacon – Sometimes one just knows when their humans are not having a great day.  It could be from the sighs they make when they come through the doorway, the dismantled look they have with their clothes or it could be the fact that they kick their shoes off – or already have them off – by the time they come through the threshold.  Whatever the reason it is, sometimes us anipals need to make sure we step up and have the home front ready for them.  Take for instance this case, my human daddy had a very rough day.  I put on my finest attire and had a glass of wine waiting for him.  I think it brightened his day.  So much so that he didn’t notice my new jewels on my neck.  We’ll save that part of telling him when he gets the credit card bill.  Barks! Signed Tiffany

Dear Tiffany – I like the way you think.  I need to do this for mom the next time she comes home all disheveled from doing monthly statistics.  Sometimes when she does this, she can’t even remember her name.   Your awesome!  And when your dad gets the credit card bill, blame it on the poodle next door.


Dear Bacon – It’s embarrassing.  Really it is.  No it’s not the scarf or the clothes.  It’s not even the hair.  It’s embarrassing that my human can’t pick a better place to take my picture than leaning against this tree.  I mean dude, look there is a rink behind me.  I could be ice skating and showing off my skills for a picture of a lifetime.  But no… the human thinks this trees adds to my dimension.  What an idiot.  Signed Much More

Dear Much More – I believe it!  I really do.  I know you are much more than just a gorgeous face.  Maybe hire someone on the side to help you out with your photo shoots.  Just think of the money you could make showing off those awesome skills!  Get to work.  I can’t wait to see them.


Dear Bacon – My humans love me so much that they had me a special blanket made just for me.  And everyone should know that this blanket is mine and only mine.  What do you think about it?  You want one too, don’t you?  Signed Sexy and I Know It

Dear Sexy and I Know It – YES! YES! YES!  I want one too.  I think it is absolutely gorgeous.  It just shows how special you are and nobody can say it’s not your blanket.  Use it with pride sweet friend!

 
10 Comments

Posted by on 01/23/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,
You see sometimes when a mommy and daddy get together, something as cute as me comes out between them.  They said that a little stork brought me to them.  I think it’s kind of cool and they look very much in love.  What say you my friend?  Signed Tiny

Dear Tiny,
I have to agree 100% my little friend.  You are a special little tyke made up of your mom and dad who look totally in love.  Make them proud and grow up to be a wonderful kitty with lots to give.

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Dear Bacon,
This is my life.  I was raised with these two purr things and they have been so very good to me.  I know I’m not a kitty but does that really have anything to do with the bigger picture when you’re full of love in your life?  Signed Bun Bun

Dear Bun Bun,
I think you have it right on target my smart little friend.  As long as there is love, nothing else much matters.  You are one very lucky little fellow.

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Dear Bacon,
I just thought I would share my picture with you of me, my brother and dad.  We are little guys.  Sometimes you just need to climb up on pop and let him carry you, right?  I read about your love/hate relationship with your human daddy.  Perhaps you should take our advice and climb on his lap and let him love you for a while?  Signed Koala Travels

Dear Koala Travels,
You are so very right my friends.  Sometimes out of the mouth of babes comes the most valuable advice.  I shall take the time today and crawl on dad’s lap for some loving.  I don’t know which one will be more surprised – me, mom or dad!  Snorts.

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Dear Bacon,

Okay I admit it.  I got a little carried away last night when the humans turned in for the night.  Somehow, the Makers Mark liquor came out, it got dressed and I wore a night cap.  I’m not sure what the order was but this is how my humans found me this morning.  Do you think I need help?  Signed Rin Tin Drunk

Dear Rin Tin Drunk,

Friend, the first thing in life is admitting you have a problem.  I think we all can figure out which came first… the bottle, the sweater and possibly the night cap.  At least you got out the good stuff in Maker’s Mark – snorts.  Maybe you should contact a DAA (Doggy Alcoholics Anonymous) in your area for a little chat.

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Dear Bacon,20131208-170730.jpg

I know you can’t tell from this picture, but I’m the one that runs this house.  Yep, that’s right.  All three pounds of fur reaching up from the pooch – I’m the one in charge here.  What?  You thought it was the barky thing?  Really?  What would give you that idea?  Signed Fluffy

Dear Fluffy,
Snorts!  You are small, brave and in charge with a sense of humor.  I love that my little furry purr friend.  I’m a firm believer that if it’s not broke, don’t fix it.  Carry on in charge!

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*Don’t forget friends to keep sending your pictures and questions to me at baconthompson@gmail.com

 

 
41 Comments

Posted by on 05/06/2014 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon –

Dear Bacon,

I think it’s time for a new couch… AKA a new bed for me.  I think I’ve outgrown this one.  Can you believe I used to fit perfect… once upon a time?  What do you think?  Signed Stretch

Dear Stretch,

Man, I would kill for those legs.  Those are awesome and powerful legs my friend.  I think your master might get the hint soon.  Keep going to sleep on that couch AKA bed.  Sooner or later, he has to take the hint. 

 

Dear Bacon,

Come on pig, sing with me, “If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.  If you’re happy and  you know it, clap your hands.  If you’re happy and you know it then your life will surely show it, if you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.”  Signed Happy Hamster

Dear Happy Hamster,

Thanks for the laugh little man.  I actually did sing along with you while I was reading it.  That’s one way to make a Tuesday much brighter!  Carry on and continue.

 

Dear Bacon,

It’ll be fun they said.  I could be the first cat in outer space.  Not only did the put this ridiculous hat on me, they attached helium balloons.  Have you ever seen a cat float with it’s little legs trying to run but you can’t touch the ground?  It’s not a funny sight.  Signed Walking on Air

Dear Walking on Air,

Snorts – I’ll have to remember this for the purr things next birthday party.  I have to say that it is really original.  I have to wonder.   How long did they keep you in that contraption?  So funny!

 

 

Dear Bacon,

I’m posting this for two reasons.  First to show you ridiculous us animals look in pajamas.  Second, if I have to suffer, why not you my porky friend?  I’m hoping your mom sees this and gets you one.  Evil laugh – Signed Catjammy

Dear Catjammy,

Really?  You want to go there and try to set me up?  Apparently you haven’t been here too long.  Mom is already on the look out for a onsey for me.  Ha! 

 

Dear Bacon,

All of my life, I’ve been asked the same question.  Are you white with black spots or black with white spots.  I think this picture finally gives you the answer to that question.  What do you think?  Signed Spots

Dear Spots,

Awesome picture my friend!  I guess you’re white with black spots then!

 
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Posted by on 12/18/2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Dear Bacon – Part III

Dear Bacon,

What’s happening pig?  So like here is the problem dude.  I think like I’m a happening cat.  I got the moves like Jagger.  I wear my hoodie.  My parents still want to treat me like a kitty – what’s up with that? Signed Rap Cat

Dear Rap Cat,

Slow your roll purr thing.  You are still a babe.  You’re not a member of the group Stray Cats.  I’m not sure if you been told this but you are pussy cat, not a rap cat.  I hate to be the bearer of the bad news.  Quit trying to go all jive in front of your parents.  Save the rap when they go to bed at night.  I bet they would love to hear that in the middle of the night. 

Dear Bacon,

I have a small problem.  As  you can see, my parents think I’m their personal marshmallow holder.  I can’t help that my fur is thorny.  What am I to do? – Signed Thorny

Dear Thorny,

Give me a minute to pick myself up from off the floor.  I’m sorry dude.  That’s the funniest picture I’ve seen in some time.  You’re parents are really original.  I know it may seem like a pain in your side – HA – but go with it.  They can rent you out to parties and such – you can make money and save for your retirement.  I say go with it and make the best out of it little guy.

Dear Bacon,

Finally I have proof with this picture!  When I get in trouble, my parents put me in a corner and point their fingers at me.  What’s a kitty to do? Signed – Hands Up in the Air

Dear Hands Up in the Air,

Take your hands down from the air.  Use those paws that you have and swat those fingers.  They won’t be putting baby in the corner anymore.

 

Dear Bacon,

I’ve read your blogs.  You talk about bed head.  Come on pig – look at this picture.  I think I have you down on bed head.  Signed – Bed Head Extraordinaire

Dear Bed Head –

You got me.  Now please go shower and fix yourself up.  You’re scaring the viewers.

 
7 Comments

Posted by on 06/22/2012 in Uncategorized

 

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