Call Me Bacon, Interior Room Designer –

Yesterday I just had a hard time settling.  It might have been the weather.  I’m not really sure.  I just couldn’t settle.  I kind of drove dad up the wall with all of my little antics around the house as well.  Heck, one time I almost mowed him down in the hallway running out of the bedroom.  I know he made *the* phone call to mom later in the afternoon and spoke to her about my behavior.  I figured I was already in trouble.  I couldn’t possibly be in more trouble.  Mom was going to have that prayer meeting with me when she got home.  I might as well make it good if you know what I mean – snort.

 

Let’s just start by saying that sometimes I don’t come up with the best ideas.  This was one of them.  After my afternoon phone call to mommy, dad put me down for my afternoon nap.  I wasn’t tired.  See, I’ve been watching too many episodes on HGTV about remodeling.  I looked around my room and decided that I could do some of those things.  It can’t be too hard, right?  While dad was doing the laundry, I started so I wouldn’t interrupt him when he watched his television later.  See, that was considerate of me.

 

I used the ramming skills that I’ve learned to love and knocked over my crate.  I don’t use it that much these days and I decided it was taking up too much.  I moved it to the other side of the room so it wouldn’t be in my way any longer. 

I have several bankies on the floor.  One of them I’m just not too fond of – it just doesn’t give me good vibes.  I’m not sure if it’s the color or the fabric.  I didn’t need it in there anymore.  So, I made confetti out of it.  It was the perfect plan.  It looked so much prettier torn into a thousands shreds of pretty colors all over the floor.  Now, it was the perfect bankie 🙂 scattered all over my bedroom floor. 

Next, I looked at the window treatments.  There’s two windows in my room.  One is fine but the other window is what brings the most sun into my room.  I don’t care for that window treatment.  Did you know that little pigs could climb?  I was able to lean on the wall, use my little short legs to stretch up as far as possible and tug on that ugly window curtain.  It took several attempts and lots of tugging but eventually that curtain came down.  After I shredded it into a gazillion pieces, did you know that it really made that already festive shredded bankie all over my floor look even better.   It was like a giant pile of fabric that I could run and jump on the rest of the day.  I had a piggy playground!

During all of this rennovating interior design in my room, I pushed my wizzy pad from its usual spot.  Somehow, it got hidden with all of my fabric confetti.  I couldn’t find it.  But that’s okay.  I went wizzy in the same ‘spot’ I usually do.  It was a big puddle too – I was so proud.

After all of that redesigning, I was a tuckered little piggy.  It was almost time for mommy to come home as well so I took a piggy power nap.

Mom came home like she normally does and came skipping into my room to check on me.  This is where things went wrong really, REALLY quick.  First of all, with all of my remodeling, I put a lot of stuff in front of the only door into the room.  She had a hard time opening it and that was her first clue that something was different.  Then she opened the door.

You know those movies where parents call out their childrens’ names – you know the entire full name when they’re in trouble.  Well, it’s not any different for little pigs in trouble.  All I heard in a stern voice was, “Bacon Porkchop Thompson, you are in big trouble little man.”  For some reason, she didn’t appreciate my new interior design to my bedroom.  I’m not sure if it was the moved furniture, shredded fabric all over the room or the torn curtains that pushed her over that edge.  Heck, it might have been a combination of everything. 

Needless to say, this little piggy was in BIG time trouble.  After mom spent a good amount of time in my room as she said cleaning up after me, I got sent to bed early.  I didn’t even get any snuggle time, a bedtime story or a bedtime snack.  Mommy ignored me the entire night.  Shivers – that’s not a good sign.  As she told me, I needed some alone time to ‘reflect’ on my deviled ham ways.  I heard her telling daddy that there is the guy that has two personalities called Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde and I have two personalities called Sweet Bacon and Deviled Ham.  I don’t much like my deviled ham side.  It gets me into a lot of trouble. 

I’m planning on having a really good day today.  When mommy gets home, I’m going to be all over her like a mosquito on a naked arm.  I got some big time making up to do.

XOXOX – Sweet Bacon and Deviled Ham