Pineapple and Daddy

As some of you know, I have a love/hate relationship with my daddy.  I mean he loves me and I love him but it’s nothing like the love me and mom share.  Can you relate?  We tolerate – yeah that’s a good word – tolerate each other.  He takes care of me during the day and I like to think I take care of him during the day too.

Well, this weekend we were outside playing around.  I was down in the yard of the magical back yard and he was with me with mommy up on the deck.  Just for a moment, deviled ham came out in me.

  I tried to hide him back inside of me… you know sweet bacon.  But, it just wasn’t going to happen.  Sigh – deviled ham came out full force.  I looked at daddy and all I could see was a target.  I know I shouldn’t but it happened.  I stomped my hooves, ran around the magical back yard and at full force slammed into daddy who was kneeling over weeding.  For a big ex football player, he fell hard with a good thump.  Maybe that’s because he wasn’t expecting me… you think?  Then that old meanie deviled ham did something terrible.  He grabbed daddy’s pant legs and started pulling.  I thought for a minute deviled ham was going to pull off daddy’s pants in the backyard.

But then, daddy did the strangest thing.  He said really loud, “Safe word is pineapple – PINEAPPLE”.  He kept repeating pineapple.  Shakes piggy head.  Can you believe that?  Even when deviled ham is trying to play, daddy still thinks of food.  And mom says my mind is a one track way with food.  Snorts.

With daddy screaming pineapple and deviled ham snorting, this got mom’s attention on the deck.  Mom said those words that everyone hates to hear.  The full name – shivers.  She yelled out, “Bacon Porkchop Thompson, you get up here NOW”.  Oh snap.  That’s right – deviled ham snapped right out of my inner body and sweet bacon came out pronto.  I stopped, put my tail between my legs and slowly stomped up the board to the deck.  Man, I was in trouble.  The full name followed by NOW.

I got up on the deck and mom fussed at me.  I mean really fussed.  What was I thinking?  I can’t play rough like that, etc.  I tried to tell her it was deviled ham.  She didn’t have any of it.  She sent me to my bedroom… you know pay the time for the crime.  Shucks… it was all in good fun.

But, I went to my room.  I hope mommy fed daddy some pineapple.  He seemed like he really wanted some.  And don’t worry, dad wasn’t hurt.  He thought it was kind of fun too.  We made apologies later in the day and all is good now.

But you see, that deviled ham is evil.  Do you have a deviled ham?

 

Rain, Rain and MORE Rain

 This is a picture that mom took the other morning coming out of the neighborhood of the Hotel Thompson.  Do you see all that rain?  On the sides of the street, falling from the sky and on the car?  I told mom she needed a boat not a Jeep to get to work – jeez!

And all of this rain… sighs.  It makes my deviled ham side come out to play.  I can admit that.  See, time of the year I kind of go into hibernation mode.  I don’t play as much.  I don’t eat as much.  And I sleep lots.  But the weather here in Georgia, it has me messed up.  It’s still hot – not cold like it should be in winter.  And ALL of this rain – OMP!  I’m getting cabin fever with the rain.

So deviled ham comes out.  Shivers – you don’t want to meet deviled ham.  He doesn’t know how to play nice.  He doesn’t have any manners.  He doesn’t mind mom/dad.  AND… he’s very destructive.  You won’t like me when I’m deviled ham.  Mom says she much prefers her sweet Bacon.

I found this picture on iFunny and had to share.  It says everything about our desperate situation right now of RAIN RAIN GO AWAY!

 

Happy Birthday Fozzie!!

Oh friends – today is Fozzie’s birthday.  Please remember her today and bounce over to her blog to wish her a happy birthday!

Fozzie is my cohort.  – my partner in crime if you will.  Fozzie is my friend when I’m having a great day or bad day.  She ❤ me when I’m sweet Bacon or deviled Ham.

Fozzie is special to us here at the Hotel Thompson.  We may be on the other sides of the world – but when we talk it feels like we are side by side.  I can’t say enough great things about Fozzie.  She’s that special kind of woman who can bring a smile to your face even though she may be suffering in pain.  She’s that kind of friend that you don’t talk to for days and all of a sudden when you do speak, it’s like it was yesterday.

So from all of us here at the Hotel Thompson, we wish you a very special HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  May all your dreams come true my sweet dear friend!

 

Happy Birthday Fozzie!!

Oh friends – today is Fozzie’s birthday.  Please remember her today and bounce over to her blog to wish her a happy birthday!

Fozzie is my cohort.  – my partner in crime if you will.  Fozzie is my friend when I’m having a great day or bad day.  She ❤ me when I’m sweet Bacon or deviled Ham.

Fozzie is special to us here at the Hotel Thompson.  We may be on the other sides of the world – but when we talk it feels like we are side by side.  I can’t say enough great things about Fozzie.  She’s that special kind of woman who can bring a smile to your face even though she may be suffering in pain.  She’s that kind of friend that you don’t talk to for days and all of a sudden when you do speak, it’s like it was yesterday.

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So from all of us here at the Hotel Thompson, we wish you a very special HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  May all your dreams come true my sweet dear friend!

 

Texts from Bacon

What can I say?  Sometimes this sweet Bacon has an alternative side that comes out that mom refers to as deviled ham.  I know – those days are tough.  Last night, we went to a local carnival.  Mom called before hand to ask if I could go.  They were all for it.  Me, mom and dad went and was having a really good time.  I’ve never been petted so much in my entire life!  Things got a little carried away though towards the end and deviled ham came out.  Shuffles hooves and puts head down – it happened and I can’t take it back.  So you know when we got back to the Hotel Thompson, I had to serve time for the crime.  Here’s a text between me and mom.  My texts are in blue and moms are in gray.  Enjoy my friends.

 

 

 

Rainy Weather – Yuck

 

I admit that *most* of the time, mommy calls me sweet Bacon.  I mean what’s not to love, right?  I just walk around the Hotel Thompson snorting and grunting – you know being me.  I sit on the sofa with mommy to get snuggles and love while watching television with her.  Nothing wrong with that at all.

But on the other hoof, there are times when my inner pig comes out… you know the one that’s so uncharacter of me… deviled Ham.  Shivers – he’s a mean guy.  And when he comes out, I can’t help it.  Honestly.  See this past weekend was one of those situations.  Evil deviled Ham came out.

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Everything was going good Friday morning until around noon and then something started that was awful.  You see I blame Mother Nature for this part.  It started raining.  I’m not talking about raindrops falling on your head cute kind of rain.  I’m talking about raindrops falling on your head would give you a concussion because it was so strong and would knock you on your hiney.

And rain… well rain makes me just a tad little bit ill and moody.  I have found that the only thing I can do to make it better is to go asleep.  So I slept a lot until mommy got home.  Then, I got into trouble.  You see while mommy was fixing my dinner, deviled Ham snouted her ankles and stepped on her toes with his hooves.  Mom compares this to stepping on a Lego toy.  I don’t know about that personally but mom squealed really loud and wasn’t too happy.  Mommy also said I fussed a lot Friday night and wouldn’t go to bed like I should that night.  Snorts – probably not mom because I slept all day!

Saturday we woke up to more rain.  Stop it Mother Nature!  After breakfast, I went back to bed in order for deviled Ham not to come out.  All was well until the purr things entered *my* sanctuary called my bedroom.  I woke to find a gazillion of their toys all over me in my toddler bed.  Of course, I went and told mommy.  She told me something about sharing.  I saw her mouth moving but all I heard was blah, blah, blah.  Of course that got me into trouble because I wasn’t paying attention.  Later in the day, there was a small misunderstanding about the piggy gate – snorts.  Daddy left it open and I took advantage of it going into the kitchen and eating all of the purr things Iams food.  That’ll serve them right.

And Sunday…. Sunday wasn’t much better.  More rain… lots of it…. torrential buckets falling from the sky.  Rolls piggy eyes.  Why is Mother Nature tormenting me like this?  I went down for a nap mid-day.  During that time, dad fixed himself a peanut butter sandwich and put it on a tray in the front room.  First off, let me tell you about this snort of mine.  I can smell food cross state.  While daddy was in the kitchen fixing a drink, deviled Ham came out and knocked over the tray taking off with said peanut butter sandwich down the hall.

Sigh… and today… today is not much better – more rain.  Someone help a pig out and make it go away please.  I mean it’s so bad this morning that daddy put floaties on mom’s Smart car before she went to the worky place.  I’m trying to convince daddy to start building an ark.  It’s bad my friends.

 

Pineapple and Daddy

As some of you know, I have a love/hate relationship with my daddy.  I mean he loves me and I love him but it’s nothing like the love me and mom share.  Can you relate?  We tolerate – yeah that’s a good word – tolerate each other.  He takes care of me during the day and I like to think I take care of him during the day too.

Well, this weekend we were outside playing around.  I was down in the yard of the magical back yard and he was with me with mommy up on the deck.  Just for a moment, deviled ham came out in me.

  I tried to hide him back inside of me… you know sweet bacon.  But, it just wasn’t going to happen.  Sigh – deviled ham came out full force.  I looked at daddy and all I could see was a target.  I know I shouldn’t but it happened.  I stomped my hooves, ran around the magical back yard and at full force slammed into daddy who was kneeling over weeding.  For a big ex football player, he fell hard with a good thump.  Maybe that’s because he wasn’t expecting me… you think?  Then that old meanie deviled ham did something terrible.  He grabbed daddy’s pant legs and started pulling.  I thought for a minute deviled ham was going to pull off daddy’s pants in the backyard.

But then, daddy did the strangest thing.  He said really loud, “Safe word is pineapple – PINEAPPLE”.  He kept repeating pineapple.  Shakes piggy head.  Can you believe that?  Even when deviled ham is trying to play, daddy still thinks of food.  And mom says my mind is a one track way with food.  Snorts.

With daddy screaming pineapple and deviled ham snorting, this got mom’s attention on the deck.  Mom said those words that everyone hates to hear.  The full name – shivers.  She yelled out, “Bacon Porkchop Thompson, you get up here NOW”.  Oh snap.  That’s right – deviled ham snapped right out of my inner body and sweet bacon came out pronto.  I stopped, put my tail between my legs and slowly stomped up the board to the deck.  Man, I was in trouble.  The full name followed by NOW.

I got up on the deck and mom fussed at me.  I mean really fussed.  What was I thinking?  I can’t play rough like that, etc.  I tried to tell her it was deviled ham.  She didn’t have any of it.  She sent me to my bedroom… you know pay the time for the crime.  Shucks… it was all in good fun.

But, I went to my room.  I hope mommy fed daddy some pineapple.  He seemed like he really wanted some.  And don’t worry, dad wasn’t hurt.  He thought it was kind of fun too.  We made apologies later in the day and all is good now.

But you see, that deviled ham is evil.  Do you have a deviled ham?

 

 

Call Me Bacon, Interior Room Designer –

Yesterday I just had a hard time settling.  It might have been the weather.  I’m not really sure.  I just couldn’t settle.  I kind of drove dad up the wall with all of my little antics around the house as well.  Heck, one time I almost mowed him down in the hallway running out of the bedroom.  I know he made *the* phone call to mom later in the afternoon and spoke to her about my behavior.  I figured I was already in trouble.  I couldn’t possibly be in more trouble.  Mom was going to have that prayer meeting with me when she got home.  I might as well make it good if you know what I mean – snort.

 

Let’s just start by saying that sometimes I don’t come up with the best ideas.  This was one of them.  After my afternoon phone call to mommy, dad put me down for my afternoon nap.  I wasn’t tired.  See, I’ve been watching too many episodes on HGTV about remodeling.  I looked around my room and decided that I could do some of those things.  It can’t be too hard, right?  While dad was doing the laundry, I started so I wouldn’t interrupt him when he watched his television later.  See, that was considerate of me.

 

I used the ramming skills that I’ve learned to love and knocked over my crate.  I don’t use it that much these days and I decided it was taking up too much.  I moved it to the other side of the room so it wouldn’t be in my way any longer. 

I have several bankies on the floor.  One of them I’m just not too fond of – it just doesn’t give me good vibes.  I’m not sure if it’s the color or the fabric.  I didn’t need it in there anymore.  So, I made confetti out of it.  It was the perfect plan.  It looked so much prettier torn into a thousands shreds of pretty colors all over the floor.  Now, it was the perfect bankie 🙂 scattered all over my bedroom floor. 

Next, I looked at the window treatments.  There’s two windows in my room.  One is fine but the other window is what brings the most sun into my room.  I don’t care for that window treatment.  Did you know that little pigs could climb?  I was able to lean on the wall, use my little short legs to stretch up as far as possible and tug on that ugly window curtain.  It took several attempts and lots of tugging but eventually that curtain came down.  After I shredded it into a gazillion pieces, did you know that it really made that already festive shredded bankie all over my floor look even better.   It was like a giant pile of fabric that I could run and jump on the rest of the day.  I had a piggy playground!

During all of this rennovating interior design in my room, I pushed my wizzy pad from its usual spot.  Somehow, it got hidden with all of my fabric confetti.  I couldn’t find it.  But that’s okay.  I went wizzy in the same ‘spot’ I usually do.  It was a big puddle too – I was so proud.

After all of that redesigning, I was a tuckered little piggy.  It was almost time for mommy to come home as well so I took a piggy power nap.

Mom came home like she normally does and came skipping into my room to check on me.  This is where things went wrong really, REALLY quick.  First of all, with all of my remodeling, I put a lot of stuff in front of the only door into the room.  She had a hard time opening it and that was her first clue that something was different.  Then she opened the door.

You know those movies where parents call out their childrens’ names – you know the entire full name when they’re in trouble.  Well, it’s not any different for little pigs in trouble.  All I heard in a stern voice was, “Bacon Porkchop Thompson, you are in big trouble little man.”  For some reason, she didn’t appreciate my new interior design to my bedroom.  I’m not sure if it was the moved furniture, shredded fabric all over the room or the torn curtains that pushed her over that edge.  Heck, it might have been a combination of everything. 

Needless to say, this little piggy was in BIG time trouble.  After mom spent a good amount of time in my room as she said cleaning up after me, I got sent to bed early.  I didn’t even get any snuggle time, a bedtime story or a bedtime snack.  Mommy ignored me the entire night.  Shivers – that’s not a good sign.  As she told me, I needed some alone time to ‘reflect’ on my deviled ham ways.  I heard her telling daddy that there is the guy that has two personalities called Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde and I have two personalities called Sweet Bacon and Deviled Ham.  I don’t much like my deviled ham side.  It gets me into a lot of trouble. 

I’m planning on having a really good day today.  When mommy gets home, I’m going to be all over her like a mosquito on a naked arm.  I got some big time making up to do.

XOXOX – Sweet Bacon and Deviled Ham