Help Me Win the Battle

So mom is decorating my room for me.  I’m trying to tell her that I’m not a little piglet anymore.  I’m a pigtween.  I don’t want cute little posters in my room of piglets jumping through a field in the sunlight.  I want vavavoom pictures 🙂  You know which ones I’m talking about.  Sexy girls on the wall.  I have to be a stud when my friends come over and visit.  Mom says absolutely not.  Dad on the other hand said that if I could convince mom then he would be down with it.  So, I need ya’lls help.  Help me convince mom.  I found some naughty – I mean – wickedly good posters for my room.  And yeah, I do have a crush.  ((Of course I just read the magazine for the articles.))